Brighter, Appease, Venture
by Rochelle Allison
Summary: NEW FICTIONISTA WORKSHOP WITFITS: APRIL 2012 - JUNE 2012. started with Brighter. Continued with Appease. Finishing with Venture.
1. Brittle

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

**storyline: Brighter (starting w/"brittle")**

**prompt - brittle**

**NOT BETA'D**

* * *

"Well, folks, we have begun our descent to St. Croix, where the current weather is 84 degrees. We'll be in the gate in about twenty minutes so we'd like the flight attendants to prepare the cabin for arrival. We want to thank you for flying with us today..."

Peter turned to me, rubbing at his jaw. "You got any more gum?"

Nodding sympathetically, I rummaged through my purse and handed him my last piece. We'd been gradually dropping altitude for a while now, and I know his ears had to have been popping as badly as mine.

"Thanks." Grinning, he kissed my cheek and sat back to unwrap his gum.

Blowing a bubble, I returned my gaze to the bluest sky. Resplendent, turquoise water shimmered brightly below... I'd never seen anything like it. We flew lower and lower, allowing me to see more detail, the ripples of waves and white caps foaming over the reef. I couldn't wait to go snorkeling.

A long, concrete pier jutted out in to the endless azure, cutting in to my line of sight.

I grabbed Pete's arm, yanking him closer. "Look!"

A jagged curve of land came in to view. Sand, then trees. Lush, hilly terrain dotted by houses of every color. Serpentine roads meandered the countryside, cars the size of toys gliding lazily along. Things were more open here, more spread out. This was nothing like Seattle, where millions of people coexisted amongst skyscrapers and apartments and houses and highways.

* * *

I loved Washington, but this..._this_...is what I'd been dreaming about.

As a native of Seattle, I was used to humidity, but not like this. I wiped a hand across my face, unprepared for the wet blanket of heat. We'd chosen to come in September, and it was still crazy hot; I could see sunblock and shades were going to be my new best friends.

Pete grinned down at me, shading his eyes from the blazing sun. "So...we made it," he said, grabbing my hand.

"I know," I sighed. "Finally." We shared a smile, no doubt thinking about the endless conversations we'd always had about this very scenario. I'd met Pete at UW, through friends, when we were juniors. We'd bonded over a mutual love of the outdoors and travel, and because he was from old money, he had the resources to do both. The summer before senior year, we took a trip to Paris as "friends", and came back as lovers. I moved in with him, and we'd spent the last year of college enjoying a mellow, easy going relationship, complete with weekend trips to anywhere we felt like going.

When Pete's childhood friend left UW for the Virgin Islands during his senior year, (I don't think he ever planned on returning to the mainland, diploma or not) we knew we had to check it out. Tyler and a couple of roommates rented a house on the east end, and he'd offered us a place to stay for as long as we wanted. As far as post-graduation employment went, I didn't have anything lined up back home, and Pete was a trust fund baby...so he could afford to chill in the islands for as long as he wanted, and as his girlfriend, I got to goof off right along with him. I planned to make the most of it. We both did. When would we ever be this free again?

"He's late," Pete said, glancing at his watch. I nodded, watching a family reunite near baggage claim. Near the curb, taxi drivers waited in air conditioned vans, offering tourists rides and respite from the heat.

"When _isn't_ Tyler late?" I snorted, thinking of the college days. Pete's best friend lived in his own little world...which, come to think of it, probably explained why he'd upped and moved to a Caribbean island a year prior.

Pete smirked. "True..."

Suddenly a pair of arms wrapped around me from behind, squeezing and lifting. "Hey, Belly-bee!"

Squealing, I twisted around so I could hug the idiot holding me. "Hi, Ty!"

Tyler hugged back, then released me so he could greet Pete. It was so good to see this fool. Some things, like the sun-bleached hair and burly-looking beard, were new, but others, like his infectious laugh and goofy swagger, were totally the same.

"Welcome to paradise," he chortled, slinging an arm around each of us. "Let's go."

Pete offered me shotgun, but I let him have it. Really, I just wanted to stretch out in the back seat, glue my face to the window, and take in the sights. The airport seemed like it was in the country, but then the two lane road we were on led to a highway.

And we were on the left. That would take a little getting used to.

"Can you feel the a/c back there, Belly?" Ty asked as we rolled up to a stoplight.

"Yeah, I'm good."

"Okay...good, cuz I had that bad boy fixed just for you...couldn't have you wilting in the heat like a delicate flower."

"Shut up," I chuckled, swatting at the back of his head.

He grabbed my fingers and squeezed. "Hey, look right there – you see that lady?"

We looked over at a woman selling food from a truck parked beneath a tree.

"She sells this stuff called roti...like, the best curry _anything_ you've ever, ever had."

"Sounds good," Pete said, nodding.

"You hungry?" Ty asked, slowing down.

I almost said no, but then my stomach grumbled. Loudly.

"Starved," Pete said, winking back at me.

* * *

Our first week in St. Croix was insane.

Tyler worked at a dive shop in downtown Christiansted, but he'd taken a couple of days off to show us around. Jet skiing, windsurfing, parasailing, kayaking...every night found me in bed, exhausted, achey, tanned and happy. The idea was to cram as much sightseeing in as possible, because once he went back to work, we were on our own.

Not that it mattered. The island was twenty eight miles long and seven miles wide; it wasn't exactly hard to get around. Pete and I rented a car of our own and spent most of our time beach and bar hopping.

Friday night, Tyler found Pete and I lazing on the couch, channel surfing.

"Hey, there's a live band playing at my friend's bar," he said, plopping down next to me.

"Oh yeah?" Pete yawned, nodding. "You going?"

Ty scoffed. "Of course, man. Get up. You can sleep when you're dead."

I _was_ rather sleepy, but apart from a couple of quiet restaurants, we hadn't experienced much of the island's nightlife. I needed a shower, though. Swimming all day had left my hair knotted and brittle with sea salt. "What time do you want to leave?" I asked, getting to me feet.

"Whenever." Ty shrugged, pulling a bright glass pipe from his board shorts.

Aaaand that was my cue to leave. Not surprisingly, Ty had always been a stoner, but pot made me stupid, so I avoided it like the plague. Pete played with it now, but I had a feeling that once we were back in Seattle, living our "real" lives with jobs and careers and grad school for him, he'd be over it. Whatever. That's what this trip was for.

"I'll be ready in ten minutes," I called.

* * *

People were _every_where. For such a small place, St. Croix had quite a bustling scene. The pubs and restaurants along the Christiansted boardwalk were packed.

"It's the season," Ty said, when I commented on it. "Snowbirds come back, tourists...cruise ships...you should see this place in the summer, though. Dead. Some shops have to close until the season starts up again. But right now? I wouldn't want to be anywhere else."

He and Pete continued talking about the island's economy, keeping me between them so that I wouldn't get lost in the crowd, but I zoned out pretty quick. The music was amazing...I'd never been in to reggae before, but I'd developed a taste for it since we'd come down. I just wanted to lose myself in it.

Pete wasn't much of a dancer, and honestly neither was I, but I was willing to try. Ty humored me, though, twirling me through the throng of people.

Eventually we ended up outside his friend's bar, which was actually a restaurant as well, _the Brew Pub._

"They have their own micro brewery," he yelled over the music.

The three of us fought our way to the bar, Ty stopping every five seconds to say hi to yet another friend. Pete put his arm around me, holding me close. I felt him kiss the top of my head, and I leaned in to him, glad we'd come out tonight.

Ty flagged down the bartender, a gorgeous, curvy girl with long curly hair and a dimpled smile. She kissed his cheek, giving Pete and me a small wave when he whispered in her ear, gesturing toward us. A minute later three Heinekens made their way in to our hands, and we left the bar to see if any tables near the boardwalk had became available.

A bus boy happened to be clearing one off, and we made a beeline for it, claiming it before anyone else could. Ty and the busboy hugged and did some weird guy handshake before turning to us, grinning.

"These are old friends from back home, Pete and Bella," he announced proudly, grinning at us. I flushed, warm from beer and how unexpectedly cute the guy was. _Damn. He's pretty hot, bus boy or not._

"Guys, this is Edward," Ty continued, clapping him on the back. "The owner."

* * *

_...going back to my roots with this one._

_thanks for reading. ;) will probably update daily, unless i'm trying to get another chapter of Glimmer Darkly out (which is almost complete, anyway)._

_xoxo_


	2. Mop

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

**storyline: Brighter **

**prompt - mop**

**NOT BETA'D**

* * *

I awoke to the brightest sunshine.

Guess Pete had forgotten to properly close the curtains last night. From my place on the futon, I could see the sky, cushy clouds cuddling an expanse of blue. Yawning, I sat up and dangled my feet off the side of the bed. Pete snored softly next to me, one arm in his t-shirt and one out, making me giggle quietly. He'd had big plans to fool around when we'd gotten in last night but the late hour and his drunkenness had put an end to that before it began.

As for me, I was still in the dress I'd worn to go out. I slipped out of bed, stretching my arms up over my head as I gazed out the window. Green and brown hills rolled out ahead, ending in a stripe of blue where the ocean began. It was hard to believe people actually lived like this. I'd always loved the water, and Washington State was gorgeous in its own way...but this was so completely different. Everything was so bright, even the paint on the houses.

Peter stirred, and I thought he might wake up, but then he rolled over. I grabbed my towel from its place on the door and headed to the bathroom to freshen up.

Tyler was already in the kitchen, making coffee and pancakes, by the time I got there.

"Morning," I said, settling in to a chair at the table. "Need help doing anything?"

He waved his spatula in greeting. "Nope. Just sit back and relax, woman."

"Do you have to work today?"

"Not 'til three. I thought we could go back to town, chill...grab lunch somewhere."

"Sounds good," I said, rising to get myself a cup of coffee.

Tyler's roommates Mike and Eric appeared, fully dressed like they were on their way out. Well, Eric was fully dressed. Mike worked on a charter sailboat, so his "uniform" consisted of swim trunks and flip flops.

"Hi, Bella," Eric said politely. He was the more quiet of the two, Ty's first friend in St. Croix. They'd met on a sailing trip to the BVI and had been tight ever since. He was originally from New Jersey or something.

"Hi, guys," I said, eyeing the questionable looking milk in the fridge. Good thing I'd bought creamer.

Mike, the horny Floridian frat boy, sidled up to the counter, brushing unnecessarily against me as he retrieved a coffee mug from the cabinet. "Good morning, cutie. Plans today?"

I rolled my eyes. Pete and I weren't the most affectionate of couples, but it was obvious we were together. Did Mike really think he had a chance? I kinda got the impression he'd hook up with anything in a skirt. "We're just going to relax with Ty –"

"You should totally come down to Cane Bay tonight," he interrupted, scratching at his bare belly. "There's gonna be a full moon party."

"Should be a good time; you guys should go," Eric added, grabbing his keys in one hand and a pancake in the other. "Anyway, I'm out. Have fun today."

"Bye, Eric," I called, trying to ignore Mike's overly hopeful expression. "Are we going to that?" I asked, turning to Tyler.

He shrugged, and then nodded. "Probably. If you want to, I mean. Those parties are usually a lot of fun."

"Ah, come on – you know you want to," whined Mike, following me back to the table.

"Know you want to what?" Pete asked, rubbing his eyes as he entered the kitchen.

"Go to a full moon party later on tonight," I said.

He grinned groggily. "No rest for the weary, huh?"

"We can stay in in, if you want," I offered, hoping he _wouldn't_ want. I didn't want to miss out.

"Not on your life," he said, rummaging around the fridge. "I'm definitely down."

"Great," Mike said, looking vaguely chagrined – at Pete's inclusion, I had a feeling.

I snorted inwardly. _Oh, Mike. Never gonna happen._

* * *

The boys and I split up when we got to town so I could do a little shopping on my own. We agreed to meet at the Brew Pub around one, which was good because by the time I got there I was worn out.

The boardwalk looked completely different in the day. Most of the bars, restaurants and pubs I'd seen the night before were open for lunch, but they were quieter – less people, and no loud music. I could actually walk without being jostled.

Realizing I'd arrived before Pete and Ty, I paused tentatively near the bar, looking around. The tables near the waterfront were taken, but the bar was empty. A lone guy with headphones and a mop sang to himself, working his way from the front of the pub toward the back.

"Hey, Bella...right?"

I turned around in surprise, smiling when I saw the pretty bartender from the night before. With her deep tan, blue eyes and blonde curls, she was even more gorgeous by day.

"Ty said you guys would be around today," she said, wiping down the bar. "I'm Irina, by the way. We didn't really get introduced properly last night."

"I know; it was so crazy," I agreed, dropping my bags and climbing on to a bar stool. "Is it always like that on Fridays?"

"Not always," she said. " I mean, the weekends get busy during the season, but last night was Jump Up...it's like a monthly block party." She paused, looking out toward the harbor. "Although we should get a pretty good crowd if Edward can get regular live music. That always attracts people."

Swallowing, I looked around again, wondering if Edward was at work. Probably not. He'd been working so hard last night, busing tables, tending bar, restocking...not that I'd been paying attention.

I looked up at Irina, whose eyebrows were raised in amusement.

"What?" I asked, laughing self consciously.

"I asked if you wanted anything to drink."

"Oh! Oh...sure. Yeah. You guys brew it here, right?"

Irina nodded. "Wanna try the West Indies Porter?"

"I'd say she's more of a Summer Special Ale kinda girl," a voice teased. It shouldn't have been familiar to me, but it was.

I glanced up at Edward, who sat down beside me at the bar. "How do you know what kind of beer I'd like?" I asked, smiling a little.

He lifted his chin, staring down at me. "I'm good at figuring people out."

"Especially girls," muttered Irina. "Here you go, Bella."

"Thanks," I said, accepting the ice cold beer. I reached in to my purse to pay, but Edward stilled my hand.

"Nope. You're a friend of Ty's."

"Um...thank you." Biting my lip, I tried to ignore the way his hand on my arm made me feel.

_Where the hell is Pete? _Clearing my throat, I took a long pull of beer. Edward was right: it was just my style.

"So?" Irina clacked her nails on the wooden bar.

"It's really, really good," I admitted, peeking at Edward. He winked, slid off his stool, and disappeared around the corner. Even in a plain t-shirt, cargos, and unlaced Adidas, he still managed to be one of the hottest guys I'd ever laid eyes on. I mean good _God._ Peter was gorgeous, but...it was different I guess.

On cue, Tyler and Pete walked in, immediately flanking me at the bar.

"You started without us, Belly-bee?" Ty asked, elbowing me obnoxiously.

"You guys took forever," I said with a shrug. It was all good though; I was half way though my frosty brew, and feeling no pain.

"Sorry, babe," Pete said, kissing my cheek. "We got caught up..."

I gave him a subtle sniff, smirking when I caught the tell-tale whiff of weed. "Mhm. I bet."

He grinned goofily back, his eyes shining in happy high-ness. "We were with these friends of Ty's...you gotta meet 'em...they'll be at the full moon party later..."

I listened to him ramble, laughing at his antics. Pete was such a straight shooter back home, so focused and busy all the time. It was good to see him relax a little. Admittedly, I rather enjoyed seeing this side of him.

I drained my glass and glanced around to see that the bar had filled up in the meantime. The guys were yammering away with some chick Ty knew; it was nearly impossible to keep up with their silliness. Down at the end of the bar, Edward had taken over as bartender. Our eyes met, but I looked away. I didn't need to notice him...or his bright green eyes...right now. Or ever. I mean, with looks like his it was impossible _not_ to notice him, but still. It felt weird.

Well, not weird. Just...I glanced back at him. He was talking to Irina now, but his gaze kept flickering over her shoulder and back to me, eyes slightly narrowed. When we made eye contact again I knew I needed to break the connection, but I couldn't.

Until Tyler belched boisterously in my ear, anyway.

"I'm hungry," he announced, smacking the bar top. "Let's go upstairs and eat."

* * *

_indeed._

_thanks for the amaze-balls feedback you guys! makes me all fluffy eyed inside._

_p.s this will be one continual storyline_

_p.p.s everything i write is M. everything. so, yeah._


	3. Fantastic

_All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization._

_storyline - Brighter_

_**prompts - elastic, fantastic, sarcastic**_

_not beta'd_

* * *

I didn't mean to.

Honestly, I didn't. In fact, I didn't even really realize what I was doing until the majority of my clothing was strewn across the futon. With the exception of a couple pieces I bought just for this trip, Pete'd seen all that stuff. In fact, I was wearing his favorite shirt...my favorite jeans. I wasn't sure what I wore still impressed him, although sometimes he still told me when something appealed to him.

But I was wearing that top and those jeans for _me_, because I looked good in them. I wanted to look good tonight. I needed to...

And that's when I realized, without fully finishing that line of thought, what a slippery slope I was sliding down.

_Get a grip, Bella._

I grabbed my makeup bag and took the bathroom while it was blessedly empty of boys. Pulling an elastic through my hair to keep it from my face, I stared at my reflection and tool a moment to breathe deeply, relax. There was no need to over think. We were on vacation, for crying out loud. Nothing mattered but having fun. This wasn't our real life, and the people here... were just passersby.

* * *

Pete whistled when he saw me, his eyes trailing me from head to toe.

"Damn," he said, being cheesy on purpose.

"Shh." I grinned, loving the attention, maybe needing it.

He grabbed my ass and squeezed. "I think this lifestyle agrees with you."

"I know it does."

He followed me in to our room. "So let's stay."

I paused, biting my lip, probably eating off my lip gloss. Seriously? The prospect of staying both thrilled and terrified me. Was it silly and idealistic? What would my parents think? But then again...we were adults, right? Free to do as we wished. Perhaps the strings of obligation tethering me to Seattle existed only in my head. Turning to face Pete, I searched his face, trying to see if he was being serious. "For real?"

Shrugging, he pushed his hands in to his back pockets. "I don't know. I mean...would you want to? I know we've joked about it but...Ty said he could hook us up with jobs, an apartment in town or whatever. We can go back home whenever you want."

Amazed, I gaped up at him. "You've really thought about this."

"Kind of." He sat down, resting his elbows on his knees. "I have the money, Bella. That's not a problem."

"No, I know. I just...wow."

"I know." He laughed. "Ty says people do it all the time."

"I think...I'd like to. Let's do it."

"Yeah? We could just stay throughout the season. Wait tables or something."

"Yeah," I said, excitement rippling through me. The possibilities were endless. "We could."

We shared a smile, and then he grabbed me, pulling me down on top of him, tickling me, holding me.

It was a crazy dream, but it was what we wanted. And as relaxing and fantastical as our vacationing had been, I was more than ready to sink my teeth in to the real stuff, the daily grind.

Island style.

* * *

We got to Cane Bay for the Full Moon party around six. The sun was setting, casting a ruddy glow on the beach front festivities. An open air bar across the street had a band playing really mellow reggae, stuff that gave me an audio-high.

As usual, Ty knew everyone and their mother, and once it was announced that Pete and I'd decided to stick around for the next few months, rounds of drinks starting coming our way. When the boys started up with shots, I declined, knowing my limits.

Someone in the crowd was passing out glow sticks. Pete gave me his, so I connected a couple to wear as a necklace. Ty wore his on his head, looking like a hippie-raver-beach bum.

After bouncing back and forth between the bar and the beach, our ever-growing group opted to stay on the sand. We set up blankets and chairs, and I shoved my shoes in to my purse, preferring the feel of cool night sand sand between my toes.

I saw Irina in the crowd...and then I saw her again. Wearing something different, and holding on to someone who looked a lot like... Edward.

Confused, I tugged Ty's hand. He glanced down at me, eyebrows raised.

"Does Irina have a sister?"

He swallowed a gulp of beer and nodded, searching the crowd. "A twin. Tanya. Why, you saw 'em?"

"I think so," I said, pointing.

Squinting, his face suddenly broke in to a wide grin. He waved his arms, sloshing beer in the process.

I watched with slight trepidation as Edward broke through the crowd, sandwiched between twin golden goddesses. I couldn't tell them apart, but I had to assume that the one trailing him, holding him by the belt loop, was Tanya.

Well, this made a horrid sort of sense.

Pete chose that moment to slide his hand in to my back pocket, easing me to his side. He always smelled good, and tonight was no exception. Comforted by the familiarity and closeness, I leaned in to him, smiling when Edward stopped in front of us.

"Hey, man," he said, nodding at Pete and shaking his hand. The guys down here called it a _daps_. It was more of a complicated fist bump, but Pete had caught on to it quickly. "Bella," he added, smiling down at me.

"Hi," I said brightly, glancing at the girls. I'd been right about who was who; the one who was standing apart from Edward – Irina – grinned, stepping forward to give me a quick hug.

"Hey, girl," she said. "You look fantastic! I like these jeans..."

"Thanks," I laughed, looking down. "They're my favorite."

"Hi, I'm Tanya," the other girl said, fluttering her fingers. She seemed nice, actually.

"Hi." I waved back, trying to ignore Pete's thumb caressing my back...and how Tanya had now graduated to holding Edward's hand. "I had no idea you had a twin," I told Irina. "That's so cool."

"It is pretty great," she agreed. Tanya smiled prettily, whispered something to Edward, and slipped away in to the crowd. Irina glanced down at her cell phone, suddenly engrossed with something.

I looked at Edward, but he was chatting with Pete, who'd let go of me for the time being. Suddenly I felt vaguely alone. Knowing that we were going to be staying on St. Croix for awhile put things in a different perspective for me. Who was I here, really? Pete's girlfriend, I supposed. Ty's college friend...but even that hinged on my relationship with Pete. I missed my girls from back home, and wondered how'd they would react when I shared my news. Maybe I could cajole Angela to come visit, or Jessica. They'd been totally jealous when I'd told them about our trip; they'd probably love to come down now that Pete and I were staying.

My Dad, a retired police chief, would definitely freak out. Knowing him, he'd look up crime statistics and email them to me as evidence that I was living in a dangerous hellhole.

"Why so serious?" Edward asked, reeling me back from my runaway thoughts.

I blinked, looking up at him.

"You okay?" he asked, his gaze sliding over me.

Nodding slowly, I tore my eyes away, choosing instead to focus on the drunkards splashing at the shore, shrieking with laughter. "Yeah. Just...thinking about how to tell my friends and family that we're staying."

There was no mistaking the surprise on his face. Now _he_ looked away, pushing his fingers through his hair. It was pretty, I thought, red-gold-bronze like the flames of a fire. "How...how long are you guys staying?"

Shrugging, I shook my head. "I don't know. For the season, I guess."

We stood silently, side by side, watching the people around us move and interact, drinking, dancing, talking.

"You gonna work...or..." he trailed off, smirking. "Nah. You're living the good life, huh?"

"What?"

"You're not the type."

"Type to what?"

"Get a serious job."

"What're you..." I made a face. "I've worked since high school, _dude_. Of course I'll get a job."

"I just didn't think you needed one...isn't your boy money?"

Put off by his smugness, I folded my arms and glared. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I see it all the time, Bella," he chuckled. "People come down here to play, not to make a living."

"_You_ make a living," I shot back, wondering why I was getting so hot.

"Yeah, but that's me."

"Oh! Well then," I bit back sarcastically. "There ya go."

"I'm just telling it like I see it," he said, sipping his drink. "And anyway, I get it. It's paradise, you know? It calls to you...until it doesn't...at which point you pack up and go home."

Okay, he was starting to lose me here. I understood what he was saying; I just wasn't sure why he was saying it. It was as if he was being subtly, but purposefully, antagonistic...and I had no idea why.

"I don't know what life is really like down here," I said evenly, staring out at the dark sea. "I want to know, though."

Edward stayed quiet, but he'd turned toward me, and was watching me, so close I could smell him. His nearness made my stomach flip, and I hated it.

I heard someone call my name, Pete probably. Edward's eyes shot to something – or someone – behind me, darkening.

"But you know _nothing_ about me," I said, my words making him look me in the eye. "So don't assume you do."

Familiar hands found mine, and I let myself be pulled away.

* * *

**_life is hard when you're a hot bartender/owner in the tropics._**


	4. Overgrown

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

**storyline: Brighter**

**prompt - overgrown**

**NOT BETA'D**

* * *

Pete rolled off of me, his brow glistening with sweat. I used to love seeing him like that, his face flushed from sex. It was like, despite his constantly collected demeanor, and the polished way he carried himself, there were still things that could illicit raw reactions from him.

It had been a long time, though since that sort of thing had made me gushy; we'd gone from friends to lovers to comfortable rather quickly. I thought back to the night we first crossed the line, how easy and comfortable it had been even then. I mean...Paris. Who doesn't get lucky in the city of love? I felt safe with him, and I adored him. I think it was the same for Pete. He trusted me, knew that despite my humble background, I was in no way after his money. He'd had to deal with that before, and had watched his older brother fall prey to gold diggers, so he didn't just hook up with anyone.

But, a year. So much happened in that time; we'd been to so many places. Had so much fun. I'd never dreamed it would bring us here, though. I felt out of my element, like we'd left the protective cover of all that was familiar. Would I survive it?

Would we?

Interesting thoughts to be having when my body was still coming down from the euphoria of orgasm.

"Wherever we move to..." Pete panted, his muscular chest still rising and falling from exertion, "...has to have air conditioning. It's a must."

I stared up at the fan, whirring lazily above us. "I kinda like the open breeze."

"Yeah, cuz I'm the one doing all the work," he teased.

Closing my eyes, I smiled. "Maybe."

* * *

It rained all day Saturday, forcing us to stay indoors. I spent most of the day doing laundry and phoning and emailing my friends and family back home, informing them of our decision. The barrage of responses I received confirmed what I'd expected: across the board surprise, a lot of envy, a little concern, and plenty of excitement. Angela swore that if we didn't come back to the West Coast for Thanksgiving, then she was coming to us.

I hadn't thought of missing the big holidays. My heart clenched. Maybe we would go home for that weekend; I'd never missed a Turkey Day with my parents, despite the fact they were divorced. We always came together that weekend.

But that was a couple of months away. I wondered how Crucians celebrated Halloween...if they got in to it at all. The juxtaposition of West Indian culture with American was an interesting one. People here were US citizens, spent dollars, didn't need passports to travel...and yet, their accents were so strong that I often didn't understand what they were saying. Not that I admitted to that. Ty and Mike would have a field day teasing me for my "Yankee ways" even though they were just as white as I was.

Whatever.

Tyler said Sunday was a big beach day. It seemed to me that, on St. Croix, every day would be a beach day but...no. People did work and go to school and run errands. Real life wasn't a party, although everyone here joked that it was.

Because we were staying on the East End, we rarely ventured to the west. I vowed to change that once Pete and I had our own place – somewhere more centrally located, for starters – and a car.

Today, though, we were going to Rainbow Beach, which was way west. Mike and Eric had the day off as well, so after making sandwiches, we piled in to a couple of cars and set out. We stopped to pick up Eric's girlfriend and a couple of twelve packs for the coolers, because God forbid we convene anywhere without generous amounts of beer.

"That place has the best ice cream," Ty commented, pointing out a place we were passing.

"Armstrong's?" I read, squinting at the sign. I was up front with him today; Pete and I usually took turns.

"Yep. Dude used to make it in his house and sell it to neighborhood kids from his garage. Now it's a family business."

"Maybe we can stop there on the way home," I said.

"For sure."

I patted my belly, making a mental note to find a gym, too. Or at least some exercise videos.

I could tell we were close to our destination when the road we turned down grew dense with cars. We pulled in to a dusty, pothole addled parking lot lined thickly with overgrown bush and trees.

"Now you see why I drive a Jeep," Ty laughed, backing in to a space.

"No kidding," Pete said. "It's like off-roading."

Mike pulled up nearby. We unloaded both vehicles and crossed the street to where Rainbow was. So far, most of my day-trips to the beach had been peaceful and serene, complete with lots of reading and picture taking. Rainbow Beach on a Sunday was a different story. It reminded me a little of the Full Moon party, except with sunshine and volleyball. And jet skis.

We found an available spot near a tree – unheard-of luck, according to Mike – and set up camp. Eric's girlfriend, Laurie, sat next to me. We'd met a couple of times at the house, and I really liked her. She worked at a cafe in town, and had told me to come in Monday for a job. Apparently it really was that easy around here; everyone was a friend of a friend, and favors abounded.

We chatted for awhile, slathering on sunscreen. I'd already gotten such a dark tan from my daily sunning that I'd abandoned the oil and SPF 4 for number 36 or higher. There was nothing cute about sunburn or – like some of the old timers I could see strolling the shore – leathery, wrinkled skin.

"Carrot stick?" Laurie offered, holding a plastic baggie out.

"Thanks," I said, taking a couple. Living with all those boys had made me miss produce. It was apparent that I would need to take over grocery shopping duties if I ever wanted to see a fruit or veggie again.

"So, are you and Pete gonna stay up East, you think?"

"Nah. I mean, it's gorgeous, but...it's kind of far to drive every day."

She giggled. "Funny how that happens, right? In the states anything under twenty minutes is close, but here it's a pain."

I laughed, nodding. "So true."

"I feel you, though. It's pretty out there, but it's a drive." She wrinkled her nose. "Expensive, too. You could definitely find something cheaper mid-island."

"What about Christiansted?" I asked.

"Town's okay, but, you just have to make sure you get someplace secure. Preferably where you can park your car off the street, in a garage or behind a gate or something."

"It's that bad?"

She shrugged. "It's like anyplace. You just have to use common sense."

"I think I like town," I said. "That way I could walk to work..."

"Totally. I lived in town for awhile. I loved it...I'll give you the address of where I stayed. Maybe they have vacancies."

Pete walked over, handing each of us a beer. "You going in to the water?"

"In a while," I said, smiling up at him. Island life had been good to him, too, giving him some color.

"Cool. I'm gonna go play," he said, motioning toward the volleyball pit.

I blew him a kiss and watched him walk away, appreciating the cold beer in my hands.

"How long have you guys been together?" Laurie asked.

"About a year," I answered. "What about you and Eric?"

"Two years," she said, looking out to sea. "It's kinda weird, actually..." She laughed uneasily. "I came down here like you, with my boyfriend...except, we didn't come on vacation; he'd been offered a construction job. I'd just graduated high school, so we said screw it, let's go."

"And what happened?"

She shrugged, peeling the label off her bottle. "I met Eric at a party, and we hooked up."

"Just like that?" I asked, having a hard time imagining this sweet girl and the quiet guy I'd come to know doing that.

"Yeah. Just like that. We'd been drinking but...it didn't matter. I really liked him, and things were kind of over with Embry."

"Is he still here? Your ex?"

"Nah, Embry was over St. Croix even before he was over me. He went back to Philly."

"Do you ever regret it?" I asked, weirdly hungry to know every detail.

"Coming down or breaking up with Embry?"

"Either. Both."

"Nope." She shook her head, brushing her hands off on her towel. "What's meant to be will be and honestly, if your relationship can't survive someplace like this...it's not going to be able to survive, period."

Nodding, I thought about what she'd just said. There were so many stories. I wondered what Edward's was. My mind often came back to him; I didn't even bother chasing him out anymore.

Sighing inwardly, I stared out at the water. The sun was directly overhead, shining brightly, and the sea shimmered like a jewel. "Do you want to go in?" I asked, setting my empty bottle down.

Laurie grinned. "Sure."

* * *

The distant whine of jet skis came closer before receding again.

Shading my eyes, I squinted out, trying to see.

Laurie floated beside me, eyes closed, arms stretched out. We'd been in and out of the water for most of the day. I'd swum out to the buoys with Peter a little earlier, amazed at how clear the water was, even that deep. It kind of gave me the creeps, being able to see what was swimming around down there, but it was gorgeous, too.

An engine cut a couple of feet away, and I whipped my head up, startled at the sudden closeness.

Edward floated closer, nodding at me. "Come for a ride."

I wanted to, but I was slightly wary. We hadn't seen each other since Friday night, at the Full Moon party, and I wasn't sure he even liked me. His opinion of me didn't seem too great. Then again, maybe he was just a dickhead in general. Either way, things didn't look too promising.

Still...

"Or don't," he said, always with that stupid smirk.

"Laurie," I said, touching her foot.

"Go ahead," she said, smiling with her eyes shut. "I'm about to get out, anyway."

Biting my lip, I swam over to the jet ski and let Edward haul me up. He handed me a life vest, which I quickly clipped on before grabbing the handles at my side.

"You might want to hold on a little better," he said, patting my leg.

You know, because it wasn't awesomely awkward enough, having my legs slide wetly against his, our bodies separated by nothing but swimsuits and lifejackets.

"Okay," I said, hesitantly resting my arms around his waist.

Without warning, he revved the engine so hard we reared up slightly, before taking off at breakneck speed. I shrieked, holding him now in a death grip.

After a moment, though, I realized that this was probably the most fun I'd _ever had_. Salt spray blew against my face, and when we hit waves, we caught air, making me laugh hysterically, which made Edward laugh, too.

A couple of other riders were out, and they raced playfully with us, going straight for the horizon before turning abruptly, creating waves for us to crest over. Eventually we slowed down and came back in, cutting the engine completely a couple hundred feet off shore.

"So?" Edward asked, wiping water off his face.

"I want one of these," I said, grinning.

"They're fun," he agreed. "I don't bring it out every weekend, but...it's always worth it when I do."

"Well, thanks for the ride," I said, letting go of him so that I could unclasp my life vest.

"No problem."

We sat there for a second. I wanted to say more, but i had nothing.

"You... just let me know if you want to go again," he said after a minute.

"Okay." My legs were like jelly when I stood, my thighs burning. "Owwww..."

He chuckled, glancing at me briefly. "Yeah...you're gonna be in pain tonight."

I smacked his arm. "Thanks a lot."

"You'll get used to it," he said, watching me intently now.

Nodding, I tipped off the jet ski, hitting the warm water with a splash.

"Want me to tow you in?" he asked, teasing.

"I'll survive."

"I know you will," he said, smiling ruefully before driving slowly away, toward an empty spot on shore. I swam back as well, wanting nothing more than to sprawl out on my towel and recover.

Edward wandered by minutes later with a couple of friends, guys I'd never seen before. They were all talking at once, loud and joking, their accents letting me know they were Crucian, but he was looking at me. My arms and thighs ached from holding on to him and the jet ski, physical reminders of the closeness. The sun burned hot, and so did my face.

It cut me open, this feeling of inevitability.

* * *

_thanks for the feedback, loved ones. i love sharing this journey with you. pina coladas for everyone._

_that's my favorite frozen drink, anyway. what's yours?_


	5. A couple of weeks

_All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization._

_**Storyline - Brighter**_

_**prompt - Dialogue Flex: "It should only take a couple of weeks," he said.**_

_**NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

I couldn't remember the last time I'd woken up to an alarm clock. Probably the morning of our flight, leaving Seattle for the U.S.V.I.

Unlike _some people_, I'd gone to bed at a reasonable time the night before. Granted, I'd been tired from the beach (and sore from jet skiing) but I'd also wanted to feel rested for my meeting with Laurie's boss.

Beside me, Pete groaned in to his pillow. "No way..."

"I'm gonna go take a shower," I said, whipping the sheet off of him as I rose..

By the time I got back, he'd gotten up and was stumbling around the room, rubbing his eyes.

"Are you going to be okay?" I laughed, rifling through my suitcase for something decent to wear. I'd have to ask Angela to send down some essentials, like the rest of my clothing. We'd left her a key, mainly to water my plants, and now I was glad we had. There was a bunch of stuff I needed if we were staying.

"Yeah, yeah. We were up late playing dominos with Emmett and Edward."

I froze. "Here?"

"Yeah..."

"Oh." I grabbed a pair of shirts and modest tank top. "I...didn't hear anybody come in last night."

"They came after you went to bed," he said, yawning. "We stayed on the porch 'til like, two."

"No wonder you're exhausted," I murmured. "And who's Emmett?"

"One of the cooks at the Brew Pub."

"Ah," I said, feeling a little out of the loop. That was okay, though. I had a feeling that, pretty soon, these people would all be my friends, too. "So...when do you want to start looking for a place of our own?"

"Soon. I love Ty, but I'd like a little space."

"Me too." I nodded. "I'm going to give Ange a call and see if she can send down a couple of boxes. Just some clothes and basics."

"Have her grab my stuff, too, and then by the time we move, we'll be set. It should only take a couple of weeks," he said.

Eight our time meant it was five on the West Coast...maybe. There was no Daylight Savings down here, and I hadn't had my coffee yet...I didn't know _what_ time it was back home. Either way, I'd call Angela later.

* * *

Laurie's cafe was actually pretty close to the Brew Pub.

Well, everything was close to it. Christiansted wasn't that big. Still though, like the dive shop Ty worked at, Coconuts was near the boardwalk, which was cool because that meant near the water. As in, I could see the harbor glistening from the counter.

After filling out an application and meeting the manager, a mellow, psuedo-hippie girl named Alice, I was given an apron and told to come back at nine a.m he next morning. "Have you eaten yet? Take something before you go," she said, tapping the case of baked goods before disappearing to the back.

Laurie grinned, handing me the guava tart I'd chosen. "See? Told ya."

"I can't believe how easy that was," I breathed. "I'm used to actual...job hunting."

"Believe me, I know. I don't miss that," she said, glancing at someone who'd just walked in. "So, I'll see you tomorrow, then. I'm the one training you."

"Awesome," I said, giving her a small wave as I backed out. "See you then."

Christiansted was pleasantly quiet. It was late morning, not yet time for lunch, and not yet too warm. Unsure of what to do with myself, I sent Pete a text, letting him know where I was, and that I'd gotten the job.

He texted back instantly, telling me to just come down to the dive shop.

Ty wanted us to get certified so that we could go on dives with him. He loved it, but then again, he loved all daring activities. Personally, I was a little too wimpy for diving. Maybe that would change the longer I lived on St. Croix, but for now snorkeling was good for me. Pete wanted to learn, much to Tyler's delight, so they'd be spending a lot of time in the water.

I strolled toward the dive shop, slowly eating my guava tart. The sun sparkled dreamily off the harbor, and I paused to take a picture of it.

"Can't help yourself, huh?" Pete said, coming up beside me.

I shook my head, giving him the last bite. "I don't think I'll ever get used to it."

Slinging an arm around my shoulder, he maneuvered us toward the dive shop, where Ty was at the counter, in the middle of a sale. "Me neither. I hope we never do."

* * *

We worked hard.

We played harder.

I loved the sense of community, especially among those of us working in town. It was like my entire world had shrunk down to this tiny place, to the goings-on of the people around me, the harbor, the wharf, the boardwalk, the places we shopped, ate and drank. Everyone hooked everyone up, so unless we were actually going grocery shopping at the supermarket, we rarely paid for food. Or at least, not full price.

Pete and I checked out the apartment building Laurie had suggested. It was downtown, but kind of a dump. I didn't need something fancy, but I did want to feel safe. Pete wasn't too impressed with the place, either, so we kept looking.

Luckily, my manager, Alice, saved the day. She and her husband, Jasper, lived just outside of town with their two little girls. They'd had Pete and I over for dinner a couple of times, and I really loved spending time with them. Anyway, they lived in a duplex, the other side of which had been recently vacated. It was spacious and cheap, and the yard was full of fruit trees.

We moved a week later, and the week after that, our boxes came from Seattle. Beside the futon Ty had insisted we bring to the new house, there was no furniture...but it was all good. We didn't spend all that much time at home anyway, and when we did, we were in and out of Alice and Jasper's. Their kids, Leah and Rachel, totally latched on to me.

Early one evening I was relaxing on the porch with Alice, Laurie and the kids, mojitos for us, virgin daiquiris for the girls, when a familiar looking truck pulled up in the driveway. It crunched to a stop over the gravel, making my heart skip a beat. I busied myself with Leah's hair, which I was putting in to two, long braids.

Edward hopped out of his pickup and strode toward us, silhouetted by the purple sky behind. I supposed it made sense that he'd know Alice and Jasper, even though I'd never seen them talking in town.

"Hey, Edward," Alice said, leaning up to accept a kiss on the cheek.

"Hey, Allie. Hey, littles." He ruffled Rachel's hair, and then Leah's, messing up my work. I glanced up to give him a dirty look, but he surprised me by swooping down to kiss my cheek, and then Laurie's. Everyone down here greeted each other that way, but it still caught me off guard sometimes. "Hi," he said, staring down at me.

"H-hi," I mumbled, loosening Leah's hair so I could start over.

"He's out back," Alice said.

Edward nodded and headed in to the house, the screen door swinging shut a moment later.

"I didn't know you guys knew Edward," I said casually.

"He and Jas went to high school together."

"Really?" The connections between people were endless; it was crazy. "Where?"

"Here."

"Are you serious?" I asked, glancing up sharply. "How long have you guys lived here?"

"Well, Jasper's lived here since he was a kid. I think Edward moved down in like...eighth or ninth grade or something. Anyway, I met Jas in Vermont, when we were in college. We got married and moved back here and that was that."

"So your girls were born here," I said, tying off Leah's braids with rubber bands. "They're Crucian."

"Yep." She grinned, tugging at Rachel's braid.

"Do everyone's families live here?"

"Jasper's parents do... they have a gorgeous place on the north shore, but Edward's parents moved back to the states a while back. He lives in their house. It's not far from here, actually."

Interesting. I was tempted to ask about Tanya, who I'd seen hanging around the Brew Pub more and more lately, but I didn't. It was none of my business.

And anyway, I was friends with Irina. I could always just ask her.

* * *

"I'm going spear fishing with the guys, babe," Pete announced. "They'll be here in a minute."

"Oh," I said, slightly irritated. I'd wanted to spend our day off together, but I guess he had other plans.

"You're not mad are you?" he asked, coming to stand behind me at the sink. "I should've mentioned it before..."

"No." I sighed. "Not really. I just...wanted to chill today."

"So come along. Bring a book or something."

"What, I can't spear fish like the manly men?" I joked.

He snorted, sliding his arms around me. "Sure, if you want to."

I pushed away, giving his arm a quick squeeze. "If you think it would be okay, then yeah. I'll tag along...get some sun while you guys fish or whatever."

I threw a camisole and pair of cut offs on over my swimsuit, then packed a couple of essentials in my beach bag. Part of me hoped that Edward would be there, even as I hoped he wouldn't. The pull was there, and the more I tried to resist it the tighter it tugged. Our lives were weirdly intertwined through mutual friends and hang out spots, so at some point or another, it was unavoidable.

"You going fishing, Bella?" Alice laughed when she saw me lingering on the porch.

"I...yeah. Kinda," I said, suddenly a bit sheepish. "What're you up to?"

"Bringing the girls to a birthday party," she said, wrinkling her nose. "Fingers crossed it's not a total bore. Anyway, I'll be grilling whatever Jas catches today, so, come to dinner later okay?"

"Will you make rice and beans, too?" I asked. She and Jas didn't eat any meat besides fish, but she was a phenomenal cook.

"Pfft, of course," she said. "And plantains."

"They're here, let's go," yelled Pete, stepping out on to the porch. "Hey, Alice."

"Hey, Pete. Have fun, guys."

At the beach, the guys wasted no time in prepping and jumping in. Some, like Emmett, were fishing aficionados and had been in the water since early morning. Pete, Ty and Jas joined them, and for awhile I relaxed quietly, alternating between watching them and reading.

"We've gotta stop meeting like this."

I looked up, shading my eyes. Smiling, Edward plopped on to my blanket, getting it all wet.

"Seriously," I said, laughing. "Are you following me?"

"Nope, but it's a small world." He rang a hand through his wet hair, shaking droplets all over me. "I'm surprised to see you here, actually."

"Yeah, well. Nothing else to do. Pete was coming, so..." I laid my book down, biting my lip. "I didn't even see you out there."

"I didn't know you were looking," he said, eyeing me with a little grin.

Pursing my lips, I looked away, refusing to give him evidence of the chaos inside of me.

"So, how's life?" he asked. "Allie says you're doing okay at her place?"

"Which place?" I asked, unsure of how to feel about the fact he and Alice talked about me at all. "The house or the cafe?"

"Well, the cafe, but...yeah. How's the house? You like it?"

"I love it. It's really peaceful."

"I thought you'd have stuck in town for sure."

Rolling my eyes, I trailed a fingertip through the sand. "Why? Is that what my type usually does?"

He was quiet, and when I finally looked at him, he was watching me. His eyes were, appropriately, the color of the sea. "I don't know. Is it?"

I shrugged, lowering my eyes. The hair on his arms was gold. _Everything about him..._

"There you are."

For a second, I thought it was Irina, but no...it was Tanya. My heart sank. So far I hadn't had to see these two together much, but as far as I was concerned not at all was preferable.

"I've been here," Edward said to her, not moving from my blanket. "What's up?"

"I brought your lunch. Come on." She held her hand out to him, and he accepted, getting up.

Unlike other times we'd seen one another, she didn't say a word to me, and I doubted it was coincidental.

"See you around, Bella," Edward said. Tanya immediately grabbed his hand, and I wanted to laugh at her lack of subtlety.

But then she glanced back at me, her gaze hardening when our eyes met.

Guess words hadn't been necessary, after all.

* * *

_**i plan to incorporate everyone's favorite drinks in to this.**_

_**as well as in to my summer poolside repertoire .**_


	6. Listless

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**storyline - Brighter**_

_**prompt - listless**_

_**NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

"What's it gonna be like when we go back?"

Peter glanced at me, shrugging. We were side by side in the tiny bathroom, brushing our teeth. He spat, rinsed, and wiped his mouth with a towel. "Don't know. Back to the grind, I guess."

_Back to the grind._ That didn't even begin to sound appealing.

"Why?" he asked, when I wandered wordlessly away to our bedroom.

"Doesn't this feel life changing to you?" I asked, sprawling out on the futon. It was really warm tonight. The breeze that usually blessed the house had died down for the time being, leaving the trees outside listless and still. "It does to me."

"Well, yeah." He sat down beside me. "Of course it does. But I mean...to what extent, you know? How far does that change go?" He was asking rhetorically, so I stayed quiet, brushing my hand absently over his leg.

"There's always the plan," he continued. "I can deviate here and there, but...in the end...that's the blueprint. Coming here didn't change that...it just forced us to rearrange some things."

"I know," I said, uncertain.

"The plan keeps me on track; you know that. But I'll always be glad we came. Imagine if we'd gone someplace else? We'd have missed out on all this."

"I can't imagine," I admitted, thinking about what he'd just said, about his plan.

Pete and I were both goal oriented people. It may not have been one of the things that drew us together, per se, but it did make things smoother once we'd started dating. We both believed in making plans and following through, whether it was a weekend itinerary or getting our bachelor's.

Pete took it a little further, though. Per his father's mentorship, he had one year, five year and ten year plans. He liked to live spontaneously, and do the things that interested him – like traveling – but he always kept his longterm goals in mind. Always . Like grad school. He'd put it off for St. Croix, but that just meant that when we did finally go back to Seattle, he'd pull out all the stops, taking double course loads, summer classes, and anything else that would allow him to catch up. I had to respect that. It was what made him worthy of inheriting the fortune his family had amassed.

I, however, was not part of Peter's one, five or ten year plan. The nebulous concept of _marriage_ was, probably somewhere around the ten year mark, but we'd never discussed that. We'd never even come close. I loved Peter, but I didn't want to marry him. Not now, and maybe not ever. I had no fantasy that he saw me that way, either. It didn't lessen what we meant to one another.

We just were. We worked.

Jessica used to call it friends with benefits, but that bothered me. That cheapened it. We were best friends who were lovers. He knew my body like no one else ever had, and I knew his. We were exclusive, even if it was born out of convenience.

Still, regardless of how relaxed we were, I felt bad about straying, even if it was only in my mind. Pete was a good man, and he didn't deserve a girlfriend who was crushing on someone else.

Over the next month, unless I was with our group of friends, I avoided the Brew Pub.

Which meant I was there all the time anyway. Just not by myself.

I had never crossed the line and actually fantasized about Edward, and after the day Tanya gave me the evil eye, I did my best to keep him from my thoughts altogether. It wasn't that easy, but I had to try. Neither of us was available, no matter what I felt when he looked at me, and I wasn't willing to live with the daily guilt of emotional cheating.

Meanwhile, Pete and I got closer and closer. Not exactly physically - we were lucky if we had sex once a week - but closer as in other ways. Emotionally. As friends. When we were off work at the same time, we shared books we'd found at the thrift shop, laughed over reality shows on the little TV we'd caved in and bought. We went shopping together, and to the beach constantly, just the two of us, or as part of a larger group. I had no idea what this meant for our relationship, romantically speaking, but I wasn't interested in dissecting it. Maybe this _was_ what healthy marriages looked like, right? Partnerships.

Because you know what? I was _happy_. We both were. It was kind of hard to be emo when the _sun was shining, weather was sweet._

When I wasn't with Pete, I was with Alice, Laurie or Irina. I felt like I was carving out the life I'd always meant to have, like I'd created a niche for myself. Things were not so fast paced on St. Croix, and I felt like it gave me a chance to breathe.

It was _not _just about work or school or bills or boys (even though the opposite sex was quite the forced to be reckoned with) and it was not about drama. It was about me, spending my days discovering things I'd never known about myself...like how good I was with children, and how much I liked to cook. Alice had started teaching me, and while I'd probably never become a vegetarian...or pescetarian, in Al and Jasper's cases...I was interested in learning about organic farming and healthier eating.

Pete liked to tease me, saying I'd have dreadlocks and hemp sandals when we went back to Seattle. I told him he looked like Tom Hanks in Castaway, with his Ty-inspired beard. The two of them were total nature boys now, always out diving and spear fishing. Their latest thing was paddle-boarding with Edward and Emmett.

One night after work, Alice managed to drag me to a yoga class downtown. Laurie was a regular too, apparently, but I asked Irina to join us so that I wouldn't be the only newbie. We mostly just stayed in the back, sweating and trying not to giggle at the music and pretzel poses.

We split up afterward. Alice and Laurie were opening the next day and needed to get home, but Irina wanted to hang out in town a little longer. We ended up at the Brew Pub.

Edward was bartending. He was chatting with someone when we walked in, gesturing wildly like he was telling a story. Despite the fact we hung with the same crowd, he was still kind of an enigma to me. I wanted to know his story...but I didn't. He wasn't the type I could realistically have a surface relationship with; the more I learned about him, the more I'd want to learn until...

Just, no. St. Croix was a passing fancy, and when it was time to leave, I wanted as little entanglement as necessary. Good friends, yes. Funky crushes, no.

To my surprise, the thought of having to leave at the end of the season hurt a little.

I would've been happy to grab a table and wait for one of the servers to come out, but Irina loved the bar. We took two seats in the middle, waiting for Edward to notice us.

"Nothing like a post workout drink," Irina said, smacking her lips.

I eyed her perfect body. "Yeah, well, not all of us are as genetically blessed as you. I should probably add cardio to my routine."

Her eyes brightened. "Hey, we could do sunrise runs! On the beach."

"Let's not over do it."

She laughed, squeezing my knee.

I knew the moment Edward noticed us, because his voice died down. He drifted over to where we were sitting, leaning his elbows on the bar top. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Hook it up, bartender man," Irina said.

He looked us over. "Were you at the gym or something?"

I touched my messy ponytail self consciously. Maybe investing in some cute workout gear was a good idea. "We went to yoga with Alice."

Snorting, he nodded. "She made me go once."

"No way," I said.

"I lasted about ten minutes before escaping," he said, raising an eyebrow. "My body wasn't made to bend that way."

"I don't think mine was either," I said.

"But aren't women generally more flexible?"

I opened my mouth to respond, but then I saw the smirk, and I realized he was doing it again. Trying to get a reaction. Double entendres, hidden meanings, loaded looks. Yeah, I was catching on.

Irina cleared her throat, and I looked at her, feeling almost guilty.

"What's on tap tonight?"

Edward shook his head. "I'll make you something special."

Irina cocked her head, motioning for him to go on.

"Sex on the Beach for you," he said, winking at Irina.

She groaned. "That's _so,_ so cheesy. Even for you."

He looked at me. "And a Goodnight Kiss for you."

I blushed, clenching my hands beneath the bar, but Irina scoffed loudly.

"Nice. She gets goodnight kisses while I get screwed on the beach. I see how it is."

But he was already walking away, snatching up the bottles he needed to make our drinks. Or shots. I didn't know what either was.

I turned to ask Irina, but she was texting. She put her phone down after a second. "Tanya," she said.

"Ah. Is she...around?"

"No, she's home. Long day at work."

I nodded, checking my own phone for messages. Pete had texted, asking about yoga. I responded, telling him how sore I was.

"So...what's up with her and Edward?" I blurted, feeling my face heat up again. Thank God for tans, because, really.

Irina sighed loudly, glancing over to where Edward was busily concocting our drinks. "They've been on and off for years. I don't know." She shrugged. "I tell her to leave him alone, but she's so hooked."

"Years?" I echoed. "Wow."

She rolled her eyes. "No. It's not even like that. I wish she'd just...find someone who treated her well."

My stomach turned. "Does he...mistreat her?"

"Not exactly; he just won't commit. At _all_. And that's fine, but then she needs to move on. But, you know. Her life, not mine."

Edward returned with our drinks, umbrellas and all. I smiled, accepting mine.

"Very pretty. Thank you."

"Pretty drinks for pretty girls," he simpered, waggling his eyebrows.

"Gross," laughed Irina, balling up a napkin and tossing it at him. "Thanks, though. This looks good."

He slid coasters beneath our glasses and left to serve someone a couple chairs down.

I took a picture of my drink, figuring I'd post it on Instagram and Facebook for my stateside friends. They already fawned over the all party and beach photos.

I took a sip and closed my eyes; my drink was really, really good.

"How is it?" Irina asked.

"Delicious."

"Mine too." And then... "She kind of hates you, you know."

I stared in to my glass, not even bothering to play dumb. "Who, your sister?"

"Hm."

Taking another sip, I leaned back a little so I could look at Irina. "Well, she shouldn't."

"Not that simple." She shook her head. "She sees how he looks at you...how you look at him."

Not even my tan could hide the alarming redness I felt blooming across my face.

"Hey," she said, almost whispering. "I get it. He's...gorgeous. And really charismatic. But trust: he's a better friend than anything else. He's one of my _best_ friends."

Unable to look at her, I scowled at the little umbrella, rolling it between my fingertips. "Not to mention I'm with someone, Irina. We live together. I'm not...looking. For anything."

"You don't have to 'be looking' for stuff to have it find you, though."

I took a huge sip of my Goodnight Kiss, glad I wasn't driving. Suddenly, I just wanted to be tipsy. I didn't want to deal with the implications of what Irina was saying, didn't want to hear someone else voice the things I'd tried so hard to push away. It made it too real, like it existed outside of my mind.

"Just saying," Irina said.

"Well, don't."

We stayed quiet, sipping at our drinks, the mood effectively dampened. Edward strolled over when the most recent rush abated, eyeing our drinks. "I'd offer seconds, but it's a school night, kids."

"Yeah, we're good. Thanks, Eddie-kins," Irina drawled, batting her lashes.

He grimaced. "Just for that, you're on bathroom duty tomorrow."

"Kiss my ass," she said pleasantly, leaning over the bar to kiss his cheek. "See ya."

"Bye, Rina." He nodded at me. "You okay? I didn't make it too strong did I? Sometimes I don't know my own strength." He grinned, obviously joking.

But he was always joking and teasing. Anything to lend levity to this...tension...that existed between us.

"It was fine. Perfect," I said, nodding as I slid off my stool. "Thanks, Edward."

I hesitated, unsure as to how I should say goodbye. It still felt odd to kiss everyone on the cheek, but not doing so might seem awkward as well. Biting my lip, I leaned over the bar, and, as if he understood, Edward gave me his cheek.

Irina took my hand as we left, giving it a squeeze. I think she felt bad, both about the situation and the fact that she'd brought it up. She shouldn't have, though. I was a big girl, and I just needed to sort my stuff out.

I tried so hard not to look at him when as we turned the corner, but our gazes connected once again. He didn't even try to hide the fact he'd been watching me.

I didn't know how much longer I could hide it, either.

* * *

**_in real life, no one is an angel. we're all a little good, and a little bad._**

**and yes, that paddle boating reference was for you. haha! :)**


	7. Sweet & Sour

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

**storyline: Brighter **

**prompt - no prompt; just... happy easter ;)**

**NOT BETA'D**

* * *

"Soursop," Alice said, pointing at the prickly green fruit hanging from the branches of a tree in our yard. "It's sweet and so good. Delicious juice."

Rachel was trying to beat one down with a stick she'd found. I walked over and plucked it down for her, glancing back over my shoulder at Alice. "It's ripe, right?"

"Yeah." Nodding, she pointed at another tree, several feet farther. "Mango. But that won't give us anything till next summer."

My mouth watered. I'd only had mango a couple of times in my life; I couldn't imagine having access to it all the time. My heart fell. We might not even be here next summer. In fact, we'd certainly be gone unless something changed.

Only a couple days left until the end of October. You'd never know this by the weather, which was only marginally cooler, but the days ended earlier, stars speckling the evening sky by six.

Peter came out, toweling his hair. We'd gone hiking in the east end earlier, forging our own paths through the bush and dirt. Now that we had a car of our own, we were able to do things like this when the mood caught us. We'd bought a _raga_, Crucian slang for a rusty old car, a beater. It got us from point A to point B, and it hadn't cost much.

"I think I'm gonna head over to Emmett's, play some poker with the guys," Pete announced.

I nodded, giving Rachel back her stick. "Okay. You hungry?"

"I'll pick something up on the way," he said, giving me a little smile as he turned to go back inside.

Alice squinted thoughtfully at me. "You wanna hang tonight? Since he's going out?"

"Sure. I mean..." I returned to her, loving that I could walk barefoot outside without worry. "I don't mind that he's going..."

"I know..."

"It's cool. But if you _want_ to chill, then I'm down."

"I do."

"Cool. Irina taught me how to make Lava Flows...they're like pina coladas, only –"

"I can't drink, Bella."

"Oh." I froze, a grin spreading across my face. "Is it...why? Are you pregnant?"

She lit up like the paper lanterns lining her back porch, covering her mouth.

"Oh, my God, Alice!" I ran to the porch and hugged her, careful not to manhandle her belly. "Are you serious? How far along?"

"We went to the doctor yesterday...she says I'm about seven weeks."

"Wow," I gasped, eyeing her flat, but soft, stomach. "Already."

"Already. So. We can make Lava Flows...but they've gotta be virgin."

"'kay. Do the girls know?" My voice dropped to a whisper.

"Not yet. We'll probably tell them this weekend. Make it special."

I nodded, suddenly overcome with joy for their little family. I wonder if Jasper had told Pete? I doubted it. They got along really well, but they weren't tight like me and Alice.

We spent the rest of the night goofing around, imagining up ridiculous baby names based on local neighborhoods – like Morning Star Whitlock.

I couldn't wait to tell Pete, but I fell asleep before he got home.

* * *

Slow morning at Coconuts.

The breakfast rush had come and gone in a flurry, and Laurie had ducked out to run couple of errands. I was on my own, polishing the windows to pass the time. I'd just put the cleaning supplies away when the ding of the doorbell summoned my attention.

Edward stood at the counter, a brown paper bag in his hand. He broke in to a smile when we saw me.

Heart fluttering like a bird in within its cage, I couldn't help but smile back. "Hi."

"Hi." He held the bag out to me.

I took it, peeking curiously inside. Brown, sugared balls were inside. I took one out, holding it gingerly as I sniffed at it.

"Tamarind balls," he said, before I could ask. "A lady sells them in Market Square."

I took a small bite, and then another, instantly addicted to the soury-sweet explosion. "Oh, that's yummy," I said, resisting the urge to just jam the whole thing in to my mouth. I handed him one, and he accepted, grinning at my reaction. "Thanks, Edward."

"I love these. We used to come to town every day after school and get these."

"You and Jasper?" I guessed.

He nodded, leaning both arms against the glass case.

"That's cool. I can imagine the two of you..." I shook my head with a small laugh, picturing a younger Edward and Jasper, running through Christiansted like scamps.

"Yeah. Anyway, I thought you might like to try them."

"I do. I mean, thanks for thinking of me..." I trailed off, looking down at the counter. "Have you eaten yet? Do you want anything?"

"Yes and yes," he said, cocking his head. He probably enjoyed my babbling.

"What do you want?" I asked, sliding the glass open on my side.

"Whatever you'll give me."

My eyes snapped back to him, but he was looking around the tarts, rolls and sweet breads. Clearing my throat, I said, "You can have whatever you want."

His eyes flashed back up. I gave him my version of his smirk, making him smile, like a naughty boy caught at his own game. "Then I'd like a piece of bread pudding."

I nodded and quickly bagged him a slice.

"Thanks, Bella."

"You're welcome."

He turned toward the door but didn't move. "Have you been to the rainforest yet?"

"Not really...we drove through it with Ty when we first got here, but..."

"I'm going with friends Saturday morning. Want to go?"

"Sure." I exhaled slowly, maintaining eye contact. "I'll talk to Pete. And Maybe Alice...?"

He nodded, sliding his phone from his pocket and glancing down at it. "I have to go, but I'll see you soon, okay?"

"Okay."

I spent the day with a sour-sweet tongue and lightness in my heart.

* * *

We slept in on Saturdays, always.

While Pete made coffee, I made pancakes from a mix, complaining about my gut.

"You're fine," laughed Pete.

"That's reassuring," I said, towel whipping him with a dish rag. "You just don't want to tell me I'm getting doughy around the middle."

"Nope, I'm just not giving in while you fish for compliments. You get like this every time you get your period."

"What, bloated or whiny?"

He barked out a loud, rowdy belly laugh. "Both."

"Aha! So I do look fat!"

Shaking his head, he gave an exaggerated sigh. "You're lucky I love you."

He'd said that before, but this time, it got my attention. "I am, aren't I..."

Yawning, he poked around, looking for clean mugs. "Coffee's ready."

"Are you _in love_ with me?"

Silence met my question. I flipped the pancake in the pan and looked at him.

He was frowning at the coffee pot.

"Hey," I said gently, stretching so that I could tap him with the spatula. "Peter."

"I love you," he repeated with a shrug. After a moment he looked up at me, obviously off kilter.

"It's okay," I said, and I meant it.

I don't know why this revelation didn't devastate me, but...okay, yes I did. I knew. I knew because I felt the same way he did. He looked almost confused, though, swallowing as he put the coffee pot down. I'd had months to work through these bizarre conclusions, but maybe, for him, it was new.

I slid the last pancake onto a plate as he came up silently behind me. He reached around, shutting the burner off, and then scooted us away from the stove.

He moved my hair aside to kiss my neck, the way he knew I liked. I closed my eyes, enjoying it, but feeling out of sorts inside. I turned around to kiss him, searching for whatever it was we'd had before having this conversation. He kissed me back hungrily, like he'd been set adrift and needed something to anchor him to the right here and now.

"I'm sorry," he whispered suddenly.

"It's okay," I said again, reaching for his face. "I guess...I think I feel the same way."

"How long've you felt that way?"

"I don't know, Pete."

We stared at one another, all traces of humor from earlier, gone. "So what does that mean?"

"It doesn't have to mean anything," I said. It was bizarre. The only thing I was absolutely certain of was that I was absolutely uncertain of what this meant for us.

He shook his head, eyes searching my face. "If we're not in love, then what are we?"

"We're Pete. And Bella. I don't know what else."

Relaxing minutely, he thumbed my chin and kissed my mouth. "Okay."

"Okay."

* * *

Alice and Jasper had a Tahoe, a behemoth of an SUV that was perfect for days like this one.

Pete and I clamored in to it after Leah and Rachel, helping secure them in to their car seats. The rest of our morning had been quiet, but not uncomfortable. Lots of thoughtful glances and little touches. Adjusting, I thought. Recalibrating.

Jasper and Alice got up front, blasting the a/c and messing with the radio. I watched Jasper trace his index finger across Alice's, smiling tenderly at her. They were so in love, and so over the moon about the pregnancy, that sometimes it was hard to watch them. Not because it was barfy, but because it was so beautiful. I knew I'd have it one day.

I hoped, anyway.

We'd planned to meet the rest of the group at Creque Dam, an old, abandoned dam in the heart of the rainforest on the northwest side of the island. Depending on the time of year, Jas explained, the dam was either full or empty. We were entering the rainy season, so the dam would be full, and the waterfalls flowing.

Windows down, music up, we turned down Mahogany Road. Trees and bush grew wild and lush here, forming verdant canopies over the road. Cars were parked here and there on the side of the road where people had gotten out to hang out, smoke up, or bathe in the waterfalls. Jasper said there were some Rastas who'd actually made homes back in the bush, living completely off the land. I could see how. Being in here was like being in another time and place.

Jas pulled over when we reached Creque Dam. Edward and his friends were already there, and they greeted us as we tumbled out, helping with the kids. I wondered, randomly, where Tanya was, and if she knew where he was when he wasn't with her. Because that seemed to be pretty often. I wondered how serious she thought things were, if she was deluded, or if she knew in her heart but clung on anyway. I thought about what Irina had told me, about Edward not committing. Did he not commit at all, or just not to Tanya?

"Bella...can you hold Leah?" Alice asked abruptly, looking a little green. Jas had already taken Rachel and joined the others.

"Yeah. You okay?"

"Mm, yeah...I just need, ugh." She took a deep breath. "My ginger chews. They're in here somewhere..."

"Hold on, lemme look." I found the candies and gave them to her before grabbing Leah and walking over to the group.

Pete and I were introduced to the people we didn't know, two guys and a girl Edward and Jasper had gone to school with. We hung around for awhile, chatting, until Alice felt well enough to walk, and then we headed toward a couple of waterfalls that were hidden from the road.

Edward fell back to talk to me, offering to carry Leah over the uneven ground. "Glad you could make it," he said.

"Me too." I adjusted the strap on my bag. "I can't believe how beautiful it is."

"Yeah, I know. Untouched."

"Do you come out here a lot?" I asked.

"Not as much as I used to. I'm almost always working." He steered me away from a cluster of roots jutting from the ground. "But I come when I can."

The waterfalls came in to view, and Leah squirmed to be let down. She took off running, joining her father and sister as they took their t-shirts off. I glanced back to make sure Alice was okay, and she was, talking with one of the other girls.

"You going in?" Edward asked, pulling his shirt off over his head.

_Eyes up, Bella. Eyes up. _

"Definitely," I said. "Is it cold?"

"Probably." He dropped his shirt and turned toward the clear, shallow pool. Sunlight filtered down through the trees, dappling his skin.

Pete poked me. "You brought towels, right?"

"Yeah," I said, motioning toward our bag.

He gave my hand a squeeze. "You wanna go in?"

I nodded, stripping down to my bikini and following him to the water. It _was_ chilly, colder than the ocean water, anyway. I made my way to where the water was falling and stood beneath it, savoring the warmth of the sun with the cool of the water.

A couple of feet away, Edward was splashing around with little Rachel and Leah, tickling them as they clung to him. He glanced up suddenly, his hair wet in his face, grinning.

Gorgeous.

That was the first night I dreamt about Edward Cullen.

* * *

your reviews and comments are like little easter eggs, bright and colorful and sweet.

xooxoxxo


	8. Insist

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

**storyline: Brighter **

**prompt - insist**

**NOT BETA'D**

* * *

My phone dinged, letting me know someone had made a move on _Words with Friends_. Probably Edward. That man had both a competitive streak and a magnificent vocabulary. Either that, or he cheated. I looped another squiggle of orange frosting across the cupcake I was decorating before glancing at my phone. Yep, Edward. Meanwhile, Leah looked at the completed cupcakes in anticipation, her mouth slightly open.

"Okey dokey," I said. "All done."

"Yours are pretty," Leah said, eyeing the cupcakes on the counter. We'd made several dozen.

"Thanks. So are yours."

She offered me one, shoving another in to her mouth. "You have to bring some to the party," she mumbled, crumbs flying.

Shrugging, I took a little bite. "I don't know if I'm going to go the party, Leah."

"Why not?" She seemed appalled that I would forgo something as significant as a costume party. She and Rachel were having their own little Halloween "party" with Alice, complete with popcorn, cupcakes, candy and "spooky" cartoons. Apparently, Halloween was not traditionally that big of a deal on St. Croix. There were a couple of gated communities where kids trick or treated, but it was nothing like the small town neighborhood I'd grown up in, where jack o'lanterns had decorated every porch.

Frankly, it sounded like the adults celebrated more than the children down here.

"I don't know, Leelee," I said. "I'm kind of tired."

She quickly sorted the cupcakes, setting several aside. "You have to bring these to Uncle Edward."

_Of course. _Of course she'd want me to hand deliver treats to her daddy's friend. The fates, apparently, were not above using small children to get me closer to Edward Cullen.

"Auntie Bella?"

"Fine, Leah. I'll make sure he gets them."

"Promise?"

"Yup."

"Say it."

"I promise."

She patted my hand and scurried away, double fisting cupcakes. I carefully slide the ones she'd chosen for Edward in to a Tupperware and called to Alice.

"I'm heading out, Al! Kitchen's clean."

She appeared in the doorway. "Thanks, girl. You didn't have to do this... Leah will love you forever now."

I waved her off. Alice's current stage pregnancy had made her incredibly lethargic, so much so that the simplest tasks left her exhausted. I tried to help when I could, especially when it came to the girls.

"So, are you guys going down to the Brew Pub for the party?" she asked.

"Kinda have to now," I replied, holding up the box of cupcakes. "Leah wants me to give these to Edward."

"Ah." She yawned, tightening her little bathrobe. "What're you going as?"

"See, that's one of the reasons I don't feel like going..."

"I have an old prom dress you can wear."

"Ha! And what will I be?"

"I don't know," she laughed, tossing her hands up. "Figure something out."

"Alice..."

"I insist."

"Fine." I sighed. "I'll go if Pete wants to."

"You know I'd go with you, but..."

"Nah, I know. Thanks, Alice."

I waited with the girls while their mother retrieved my "costume", a sugary pink confection of a dress. Along with a tiny tiara of Rachel's, I'd be very high school sweetheart indeed.

* * *

The Brew Pub had hired a DJ for the party, and we could hear the bass way before we even stepped foot on the boardwalk.

I tugged self consciously at the goofy pink dress. Pete hadn't even dressed up, really. He just wanted beer.

"We don't have to stay if you're tired," he promised, looking a little worn out himself.

"I know. Let me just get these to Edward and then...we'll see how things go."

Inside the bar, things were hectic. Irina, Edward and another bartender I'd seen before, but didn't know, were rushing up and down behind the bar, serving the crowd. The tables had all been pushed against the walls to make room for the DJ and people who wanted to dance. Almost everyone was in costume.

Irina, to my amusement, had dressed as the St. Pauly Girl beer wench. Edward looked like a pirate.

Pete and I got to the bar right as Thriller came on. A couple of people who knew the dance were going nuts on the dance floor, and a crowd had formed around them.

Edward stopped in front of us.

"Hey!" he yelled.

"Hi!" I thrust the box of cupcakes at him. "From Leah!"

"What?"

"From Leah," I mouthed.

He leaned closer, shaking his head.

I put my mouth to his ear. "From Leah."

Taking a quick peek inside, he broke out in to a grin. "Thanks," he mouthed back.

He grabbed a couple of Heineken and set them down in front of Pete and I, winking before he rushed off.

As I turned to follow Pete to a less crowded spot, I saw Tanya, who was not in costume. I assumed by her scowl that she'd seen me giving Edward the cupcakes. Sick of her, I scowled right back.

We met up with Ty and Mike. One beer turned in to three. Mike begged me to dance, and Pete, who thought Mike's crush was hilarious, encouraged me to do, taking pictures with his iPhone. I just knew I'd see that crap on Facebook the next day. I wondered if he'd be as amused at Edward's attentions.

Tanya wasn't amused. Not at all. This was only reiterated when I ended up in the bathroom at the same time as her. She did nothing but watch me in the mirror as we washed our hands...I felt like I was in a high school movie nightmare, stupid prom dress and all.

And then, because what's a party without drama, I ran in to Edward as I came out. He had one foot in the men's room, but he backed out when he saw me. I groaned inwardly, knowing Tanya would be coming out behind me in three...two...

Edward didn't even blink. "You guys heading out?"

"Yeah," I said, hyper-aware of Tanya's presence. "Work tomorrow."

"Well, thanks for coming," he said, finally glancing at Tanya. "And for the cupcakes."

"Can I speak to you, please?" she snapped.

"See you, Bella," he said, grazing my wrist with his thumb. "Nice dress, by the way."

* * *

Irina texted me while I was at work the next day.

_Come by when u get off?_

I eyed the clock; Coconuts closed at four on thursdays. _Ok. be there 5_

When it was time for me to lock up, I breezed through my closing duties and bagged a couple of treats for Pete, Al, Jasper and the girls. Irina was sitting at the bar when I joined her at the Brew Pub, looking forlorn.

"Hey...I thought you were working?" I said, sitting.

"I am, but it's dead."

"Want some banana bread?"

"Thanks but no thanks."

It wasn't like her to turn down food. In fact, Irina looked like someone had run over her dog. "You okay? What's wrong?"

She sighed, running her hand over her face. "The shit hit the fan last night."

My heart sank. Somehow, I had a feeling this had to do with her sister and Edward. "What happened?"

"Well. Tanya saw you giving Edward something –"

"Cupcakes. From Leah."

"Yeah, well, she didn't know that. Anyway, I guess she just...lost it. She and Edward had a _huge_ fight. Like...I don't even know how it escalated the way it did."

"That sucks." I grimaced.

"Her timing is what sucked," she retorted. "I've been telling her to get over it for years and she picks the busiest night ever to tear in to him. It was so lame. And so then, Edward comes back to the bar all pissy, yelling for _me_ to bring my sister home because she's drunk and crazy and then he and I got in to it because – you know - I'm tired of his shit, too, and ugh. It was just...really bad."

I bit my lip, feeling bad things had gone down that way.

"And now, she might be taking this job in St. Thomas," Irina said. She looked at me. "I know you guys don't get along, but she's my best friend. We've always been together. Always."

I shook my head. "I really am sorry. I never meant to...make her think..."

"Bella, just...stop."

Frowning, I traced my finger around a coaster on the bar. "Is this why you had me come over? To tell me?"

She nodded. "I'm probably gonna go with her for a couple of days, help her get set up over there. Edward's already said I could take the weekend off."

My stomach turned as I thought about the heartbreak Tanya was probably going through. I remembered my freshman year of college, discovering that the guy I'd been dating was in a serious long term relationship with someone else. I'd felt like such a fool. It had been hard for me to trust guys for awhile afterward, but it had also been a lesson learned.

Maybe Tanya had handled her situation differently than I would've, but I still felt for her.

Even if she had been giving me the stink eye for over a month.

* * *

I jabbed Pete's number again, groaning when his voicemail came on.

He'd gone on a dive with Ty earlier, so I didn't really expect him to answer, but I didn't know who else to call. Irina was visiting Tanya in St. Thomas again, and I hated harassing Alice at home when she was napping or resting.

Our junky car wouldn't start. At least we'd parked in town; there were plenty of people around. Maybe

I'd go to the Brew Pub. Even if Edward alone there and was unable to leave, I could wait until Ty and Peter returned from their dive, at which point Ty could drive us.

Edward looked surprised to see me. We hadn't seen each other in a week or so. On the surface, there was no reason why we would've seen each other...we had the same friends but different lives.

But I knew, and he probably knew, that there might have been a little avoidance going on. The whole Tanya thing had put a bad taste in my mouth, and even though they hadn't been "serious", I knew she and Edward had been close for years. Friends, hook ups, whatever they were.

Nothing was ever simple.

"Hi," I said, walking up to the bar. "Um...my car won't start."

"You need a ride?" he asked. "I think Maggie's heading out soon. She has to pass your place to get home."

"Oh," I said, suppressing my disappointment. "Okay. If she doesn't mind."

"Or you could wait a half hour," he said, all casual. "And let me take you."

I watched him closely, wondering what he wanted to do. "Either way," I said eventually, wimping out.

He knew it, too. Exhaling roughly, he tossed his bar rag aside. "I'll take you now."

Alrighty, then.

Before I could respond, he'd gone to the kitchen, yelling something to whomever was back there. Emmett popped out, grinning when he saw me.

"Hey, Bella."

"Hi, Emmett."

"Take this to Alice, okay? It's fish n' chips. Jasper says she's been craving it." He held out a styrofoam container.

I took the food, nodding. "Sure."

"Ready?" Edward asked, jangling his keys.

"Yeah. Thanks for doing this."

He shook his head, taking Alice's food to carry. "No problem."

"I can't believe it broke down..."

"Really? You can't believe _that_ car broke down?" he asked, chuckling.

"Shut up." I snickered. "I know it's a piece of crap."

"It really is. It reminds me of my first car."

"Hey, we only bought to last the season."

We stepped away from the boardwalk. "That's too bad," Edward said.

"I...know."

"You should stay."

"I wish I could."

"So stay."

"I can't stay," I said, laughing uncomfortably. "What would I do?"

"What you've been doing."

I shook my head, swallowing.

"What's in Seattle?"

So, he remembered where we were from. I don't know why it surprised me. "I don't know, Edward. The rest of my life, I guess."

He stayed quiet, opening my door first before going around to the driver's side.

I climbed in and buckled my seatbelt. "It's not that I don't want to stay," I mumbled once Edward was beside me. "I just really don't know what I'd do. Or where I'd live."

"What's wrong with the place you have now?" He put Alice's food on my lap and started the truck.

"Well, Pete and I share rent. I'd have to carry it myself...actually, I could afford it. It's just..."

"What?"

Frustrated, I looked at him. We hadn't yet left the parking lot yet. "What's up? Why're you asking?"

"Because it's obvious you like it down here, and if there's nothing in the states, then you should stick around."

"What makes you think there's nothing in the states?"

"Because you haven't mentioned your boyfriend yet, so it's safe to say that's not a very big deal."

His words were like a punch to the gut: not because Pete and I were "a big deal", but because maybe our relationship was more platonic than I'd realized if even other people could see it.

Or maybe just Edward saw it.

"Sorry," he muttered, pulling out of the parking lot.

"It's okay," I said, picking at a loose string on my shorts."You're right."

"About what?"

"About everything."

He nodded, putting music on. Roots reggae; a local band called Midnight. They'd performed recently at Cane Bay. Very mellow, soothing.

"I'd really miss my parents," I admitted after a while. "If I stayed."

We paused at a stop sign, and he looked at me. "Well, I'd miss you if you left."

* * *

_**oh re-heally?**_


	9. Knot

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

**storyline: Brighter **

**prompt - knot**

**NOT BETA'D**

* * *

I couldn't have fought the smile if I tried.

"Oh yeah?" I asked, thoughts sort of blown to bits by what he'd just said. "What would you miss? Me beating your ass at Scrabble? The free coconut tarts? My –"

"Yeah. Yeah, all of that," he replied, grinning now. "Also the fact you never pay for your own beer."

"I can't help if I got it like that," I teased, playing along.

"You do have it like that." His eyes trailed down my body and away, back to the road.

Tension tingled between us. I'd forgotten how hard it was to maintain in cars, when there was barely any space and everything felt amplified.

My phone lit up with a text; Peter had just received mine. I let him know I was okay, and that Edward was bringing me home.

"How long've you been with him?" Edward asked, glancing down at the phone in my hand.

"Year and a half. Almost."

"Hm."

"How long were you with Tanya?" I didn't even know why I asked like that; I knew from what Irina had said that they hadn't even been exclusive. Maybe I just wanted to push his buttons.

"I've known Tanya since back in the day," he answered instead. "We've seen each other through a lot of shit."

I nodded, shifting my gaze to out the window. We'd left town, and were now cruising down a tree lined, two lane highway, populated with gas stations and convenience stores.

"I'm not gonna say I didn't like her, because I did, but...you know. It was different for me than it was for her."

"Did she know that?"

"Yup." He turned off the music. Guess he'd had enough.

I wanted to ask him so many questions, but no car ride was ever long enough. Especially not down here. We pulled in to the driveway I shared with Alice and Jasper. Their lights were on, and I was pretty sure I spied Jasper near a window, looking to see who'd pulled up.

"Thanks for the ride," I said, smiling at Edward.

He nodded, running his hand through his hair. "Any time."

Opening the door, I slid out, careful to hold on to Alice's fish n' chips.

"Hey," he said, before I shut the door.

I looked up, my heart skipping crazily at the way he was looking at me. It was as if my life sped through my mind's eye right then, all the events leading to this moment. I wondered if this was how it happened, if this is how it was when you Felt Things Shift. Most of all, I wondered if he'd felt a shift, too, or if I was just another girl he thought he liked.

But then he dropped his eyes, looking more vulnerable than I'd ever imagined. "I meant what I said. You should think about staying...I think you'd like life here. And I know for a fact that...a lot of people would miss you."

"I know," I said softly, staring at the gravel. "I'd miss it too."

* * *

Enjoying a quiet moment before work, I gazed at the bright red flamboyant tree that shaded our bedroom window from the morning sun. If we stayed here...if _I_ stayed...I'd put a desk there, in front of that window. Maybe Japanese lanterns in the corner, like Alice's, or little white Christmas lights, the kind I'd had in my room as a kid...

"I know we said we'd go home for Thanksgiving, but...I'm thinking maybe we could stay here. See how the Crucians do it," Pete said. He was sitting in bed, engrossed in stocks and numbers on the laptop.

"I agree."

"Yeah?" He looked up, seemingly pleased. "Good. I thought you might. You're practically a local now."

I snorted, hitting him with a pillow. "_Local_? That sounds so...so...states-sidey."

He laughed out loud. "I rest my case. Let me know when you plan to run for Ms. St. Croix."

"Shut up, Peter." I stuck my tongue out and climbed out of bed. "Hey...you know, I bet Angela would come down."

"For Thanksgiving?"

"Yeah. She said she would, back when we first decided to stay."

"Call her and find out," he said, but he sounded distracted, most likely already back in to his Dow Jones.

In the shower, I stepped beneath the water the second it was warm enough. Showers were quick here; everyone saved water. Unless supplied with city water, like the houses in town, most homes utilized cisterns, below ground tanks that collected rain water. I missed zoning out underneath the hot spray, but it was a small price to pay for living here.

Pete had the day off; I didn't. I couldn't deny that the knot in my belly was born of ambivalence: the anticipation of seeing Edward soon...and the guilt that sullied it.

I was still attracted to Pete, but my feelings for the boy in town blazed so brightly lately that everything else just...faded. Sometimes Pete tried to initiate, a touch or a kiss, but I found myself pulling away, placating him with chaste hugs and kisses. I couldn't consummate something I no longer felt passionate about.

We'd have to talk about it soon, the expectations, the "rules" bracketing this point of our relationship. I suspected Pete could easily continue having sex with me because he was a guy...or maybe just because he was Pete. I couldn't, though. I'd feel like I was being shady: lying to him with my body, betraying my own heart.

Somehow betraying Edward even though we'd never said anything beyond the conversation in the truck.

He and I were back to easy going surface stuff, games played by phone, sharing treats, smiles across crowded rooms, platonic cheek-kisses. Waiting it out, maybe? Friends.

Friends who went home and touched themselves thinking of the other.

At least...that's how it was for me.

Angela was totally down for a trip. Jessica wanted to come too, but funds were low. She promised to come "next time", whenever that was.

Me? I was over-the-moon excited that my best friend from home would be joining me, even if it was for only four days. That was more than enough time for me to show her the best and the brightest of St. Croix living. I couldn't wait to introduce her to the tight knit group we'd become a part of.

"When's she coming?" asked Edward, the afternoon I told him about Angela.

We were on the second floor of the Brew Pub, looking out at the harbor as we rolled silverware and napkins. The upstairs was a lot less casual than downstairs, and even the same kitchen served both, the settings felt completely different.

"Wednesday. She leaves early Sunday morning."

He nodded. "What're you guys going to do?"

"I want to show her everything," I gushed, bouncing a little in my chair.

"Let's bring her to the baths," he said.

I loved how easily he'd said _we_. "The ones by Davis Bay?"

"Yeah. Ty bring you back there?"

Shaking my head, I handed him the last set of silverware and leaned back in my seat. "No, we went to the beach, and he mentioned that you could hike back over the rocks..."

"It's a little hardcore, but worth it. It's nice back there."

"Let's do it, then. You know how to find it, right?"

He smirked at me, like, _really_?

I shoved him gently. "Okay, okay. You working Saturday?"

"I'm sure my boss will give me the day off," he teased.

"Yeah, you ask him." Straightening my shorts, I stood up. "I gotta go. Um, call me."

"I will."

"Okay."

"Okay."

* * *

"You cannot be serious," Angela cried, gaping at the water.

After picking her up at the airport, we'd stopped home long to change in to our swimsuits before heading straight to Shoy's Beach.

The water sparkled bright and blue, and I knew Angela was seeing it the way I had when I'd first come. I still saw it that way, a lot of the time. I had the gazillion photos on my phone, computer, and Facebook to prove it.

"It's gorgeous, isn't it?" I said, dropping our blankets and bags.

"It's amazing!" She whipped her sundress off. "I desperately need to tan but...no, forget it! I just wanna go in!"

"You'll have plenty of time to get sun." Generally, Angela was darker than me, with her olive skin tone, but the tan I had now was pretty spectacular. She'd freaked out at the airport, holding her arm next to mine, complaining about the "sunless Seattle drudgery".

"Come on, Bella," she said, hopping around.

"Okay, let's go." I took my dress off, too, and we walked to the shore, where clear, warm water pushed and pulled along shell-strewn sand.

Angie sighed in contentment as we tip-toed in. "It sucks Pete had to work."

"Yeah, I know. He has the rest of the week off though. We'll hang out."

"How are things with you guys?" she asked, tying her hair in a knot atop her head.

Angela had been my best friend since high school. There wasn't much we kept from one another, and the status of my relationship with Pete was no exception. We'd talked through it over the months, mainly through emails. She was really the only person I trusted enough to tell, and the only one close enough to me to understand. Because the situation was a little unexpected, honestly.

"They're fine. I mean, it's weird, Ang, we don't argue. Like, at all. He's...my best friend." I splashed her. "Besides you. And that's great. But, I don't know what our boundaries are. I know he gets horny..."

"Wait, have you guys stopped...hooking up?"

I bit my lip, nodding. "For awhile now."

"Ouch. How he is dealing with that?"

"I don't even know. Initially we just...were busy and tired and whatever. But he's definitely tried a couple times and I've definitely turned him down. I say I'm not in the mood, but he's not stupid."

"You need to just tell him, girl. Don't string him along."

"I'm not! We know we're on the way out..."

"Guys are different though," she said, giving voice to thoughts I'd had. "He'd probably be happy to just ...be friends with benefits. And if you're really not down you need to communicate that."

"Thanks, Dr. Phil."

"Oh my God, shut your face," she giggled, shoving water at me. "You know I'm right."

"Yeah, you are right. I know, I know." I exhaled heavily, frowning. "It's just, ugh, I hate awkward conversations like that. We've been close for so long, and I don't want this to blow up in our faces. I still love him, you know?."

"You're just not in love with him," she said, echoing what I'd told her before.

"Right."

"Sucks. Peter's a good guy," she said, giving me a sympathetic smile. "For someone else."

"Yeah," I said, dipping underneath the water.

That was just it. He and I needed to figure things out because right now, we were holding each other back from things that could possibly be better than what we had to give each other.

* * *

Later on, we took Angela out to dinner, to introduce to both St. Croix and our group of friends. I chose Savant, a classy, rustic restaurant on the outskirts of town known for its Thai-Mexican-Caribbean fusion. I'd wanted to try it for awhile now. Emmett's girlfriend, Rose, was a server there. He and Edward showed a little later, immediately joining us at our table outside.

I'd mentioned Edward to Angela in passing, too, but I hadn't dwelled too much on him for a couple of reasons. One, I liked sort of floating in denial...reality had sharp edges...and two, I wanted her to formulate her own opinions about him. Not that it mattered – the second he kissed my cheek in greeting her eyes widened. I quickly introduced the two of them before hopping up to use the bathroom. Let Edward charm her all on his own. He'd do it, too.

Angela scooted closer when I returned to the table, hissing in my ear. "You did _not_ tell me he looked like that."

I took a sip of wine, shrugging. "I wanted you to come to your own conclusions."

"About what?"

"About...I don't know." I shrugged.

"Whatever...it's obvious now why you're having this mid life crisis."

I gave her a withering glance. "Mid life? We're twenty two, honey."

"Don't change the subject."

"I'm not," I laughed, catching Edward's eye. He grinned and looked back at Ty, who was regaling the group with stories of his latest dive. But before long he was looking at me again, and the longer we sat there, the harder it became resist.

I liked looking at him, and the way it felt when he looked at me.

I _wanted_ it.

I wanted to be free to talk to him in ways that went beyond friendship, to see if he was a player or if he was just misunderstood.

And I wanted to kiss him.

So, so badly.

* * *

_**i want it so badly for you, girl.**_


	10. Hinge

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**storyline - Brighter**_

_**prompts - Cringe, fringe, hinge**_

_**NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

Jasper and Alice took the girls to his parents for Thanksgiving, but the rest of us were convening at Edward's place. He'd offered to host dinner, as long as everyone brought something. He said he'd done it a couple times before, and it had always been a lot of fun.

After spending a lazy morning at the beach, Angela, Pete and I drove to Edward's. His house was nestled against the side of a hill, at the end of a dusty, dirt road. I found him in the kitchen, checking on the turkey. Inhaling deeply, I set my giant bowl of salad down.

"It smells so, so good in here." I waited until he straightened up, and then gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Thanks." He leaned closer, startling me a bit. "You smell good, too."

Blushing, I stepped back. "Irina brought me oils from St. Thomas. This one is...Egyptian Musk, I think."

He nodded, leaning against the counter.

"Anyway, we brought other stuff too. I'll go see if they need help..." But Pete and Angie walked in right then, laughing about something.

"Hey, Edward. Where should we put this?" Pete said, lifting the wine, bread, and goodies he was carrying.

"Hey, Pete." Edward nodded. "Wherever you can find room on the counter...hi, Angela."

"Hi! You've got a great view here," she said, going to the kitchen window. She was right; we could see rolling hills and beyond that, the ocean. The yard was lined thickly will trees, everything lush and green from all the rain we'd been having.

"I'll give you a tour," Edward offered, stepping away from the oven. "Come on."

They disappeared form the kitchen, chatting easily.

"Beautiful house," I commented, glancing around the kitchen. I tried to envision a teenage Edward here, eating the breakfast his mother had made him.

Peter smiled, but it didn't quite reach his eyes.

"You okay?" I asked, touching his arm.

"Yeah. Feeling a little...ah, not homesick. Just nostalgic."

"I know." I'd felt the same way earlier. While I didn't regret our decision to stay, it ached knowing I wouldn't be having my dad's famous sweet potato casserole this year. "I called my parents while you were in the shower. My mom almost cried."

"Yeah. My parents were a little bummed too, but they know I'll be home next month."

I thought about that, returning to the place where I was from. There would probably be a sense of culture shock, which was silly, seeing as it had once been the only place I'd really ever known. I looked forward to it, though.

Pete cleared his throat. I looked at him, caught off guard by his frown. "Are you sure you're okay?"

He looked at me then, really looked, and I forced myself not to cringe away from the keenness of his gaze. I knew him well, and he seemed...not himself. "We can talk about it later, Bella. It's not that big a deal." He thumbed my cheek and walked away, leaving me confused.

Honestly, he'd been quiet all morning, but I'd attributed it to tiredness. We'd stayed out late the night before, leaving Savant when it closed only to then hang out at Ty's house out east.

Yes, we'd talk later. I had things I needed to say, too.

* * *

Way more people than I'd been expecting showed up. Maybe Edward's house was the gathering place for all of the drifters, people with no family on St. Croix. It was a fun crowd, though: among others, Ty and Mike showed up, as did Eric and Laurie. Irina was back, to my surprise. I would've thought for sure she'd spend the day with Tanya.

After a lengthy feast full of good food and even better company, most of the guys wandered to the living room to watch football. Angela and I stuck with the girls. And the wine.

"Who're you texting?" I asked Angie, peeking curiously over her shoulder.

She bit her lip. "Remember Ben?"

"Shut. Up. Ben? Microbiologist Ben?" I squealed.

Swatting at me, she finished her text before setting her phone down. "Yeah, that Ben. Anyway...we've sorta been seeing each other."

"And you didn't tell me because...?"

She shrugged, fingering the fringe on her purse. "It's really new. I like him, though."

I could see why. Ben had the hot-geeky thing going for him. Super smart, like Angela.

"Well, tell him I said 'what's up'," I said.

"Ha, I will. He's already so jealous of the pictures I've sent him."

"I bet. Maybe he can come down with you next time."

"Next time? How long are you planning to stay?" She finished off her Chardonnay. I was more of a Pinot Grigio girl, myself.

"The season ends with spring," I said. "But...I don't know. I've been thinking of staying longer."

"Without Pete?" Angela whispered, her eyes wide.

"I mean, yeah. Because..."

"No, totally. You should do it. Maybe I'll come down and be your roommate!" she giggled. Yeah, that was the alcohol talking.

"Mm-hm." I grinned, rolling my eyes. "Nothing's decided yet, though, so...keep quiet."

She pretended to zip her lips.

* * *

"So, why aren't you going to see your parents?" I asked Edward. We were sitting on the patio, eating pie. The hour was late, and everyone else had either left or dozed off.

Even Pete. I felt kind of bad for leaving him on the couch while I chilled outside with Edward, but it wasn't like I hadn't tried to wake him up. He'd gotten totally drunk, though.

Edward set his fork down, settling back into his chair.

"They'll be here for Christmas," he said. "It's not a big deal. I mean, sometimes they come down or I go up, but...I didn't really want to have to deal with staffing the bar and all that."

I nodded, wondering what his parents were like. "Do you have siblings?"

"Nope. You?"

"No."

He side eyed me.

I wiped my mouth with a napkin. "What?"

"Nothing. You missed a spot."

"Where?"

"Just..." He leaned closer, almost too close, but I leaned away, giggle-snorting.

"What?" he laughed, half way out of his chair.

I stood up, tipsy off wine, pie and starlight.

And his proximity.

"You," I snickered, folding my arms as I looked down at him.

"Me what?"

"I have something on my mouth? Really? I swear, boys like you always have moves."

He stood up, hands in his pockets, a smile on his face. "Bella, boys like me don't need moves."

And then he kissed me.

* * *

I lay awake all night, watching the room lighten as the sun rose.

Every time I tried to close my eyes, they popped open. I was utterly sprung, high off the bliss of Edward's mouth. The way he'd moved in, no hesitation, so fast I didn't have time to close my eyes. His thumb tugging my mouth right open, sliding his tongue inside, tasting me.

I'd tasted him, too. Pumpkin pie. With a dollop of seduction.

Edward.

The anticipation of seeing him today had me vibrating from the inside out, so much so that it hinged on anxiety.

Pete snored beside me, something he only did when he was tanked. Angela and I'd had a grand old time last night, giggling hysterically as we'd loaded him in to bed. I needed to talk to him, but he needed his rest.

Easing out of bed, I stripped on my way to the shower, lost in a lusty la la land.

Pete was awake when I got back, sitting up, running his hands through his hair. I'd forced him to drink a huge glass of water when he'd woken briefly during the night, so I hoped he wasn't too hungover.

"Hey," I said, toweling my hair.

"Hey," he croaked, chuckling.

"You feeling okay?"

"I'll survive." He rubbed at his chest. "Did you drive back last night?"

"Angie did. I had to direct her, though. She kept wanting to be in the right lane."

He smiled, shaking his head.

I sat on the edge of the bed, tapping his foot. "You want coffee?"

"Yeah, that would be great."

Angela was still asleep, so I tried to move quietly, pouring giant mugs for Pete and myself. I tiptoed back to our room, shutting the door carefully with my hip.

"Thanks." He closed his eyes and sipped gratefully.

We sat in silence for a few minutes. The guilt of kissing Edward was gnawing at me. It was what I'd wanted, and still wanted, but the timing could've been better. Still...

"Bella."

My eyes snapped to Pete's.

"What are we doing, here?"

I shook my head, looking away. "I don't know."

"Is there someone else?"

Heart caught in my throat, I stared at him.

"Tell me," he said, gentle but insistent.

Very insistent.

"Yes."

He breathed out roughly, setting the coffee cup down. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I...it's not even like that. I mean, nothing happened until last night," I said, knowing how ridiculously lame it sounded. How cliché.

"Edward," he said, eyes boring in to me. "Tell me it's not Edward."

Somehow, the fact that he'd figured it out didn't surprise me.

I swallowed. "It is."

"So...what? You fucked him while I was passed out?"

"No!" I got to my feet, shaking. "I would never do that to you, Peter! Ever. We kissed. Once. And that was it. And I was going to tell you today. I swear." Regret thickened my throat, and I put my coffee down, no longer in the mood for it.

"Please, Pete," I said, not wanting things to do down this way. I was a lot of things, but I'd never been a cheat or a liar. I had way too much respect for myself, and frankly, for him.

This attraction I had to Edward had just...clobbered me over the head. I wanted him so desperately, but I didn't want to lose myself in the process.

Pete shook his head. "It's not...I'm really not even that mad. Not for that. I just, I thought I knew you better. I thought you knew _me_ better. We've talked about...this changing." He motioned between the two of us. "I'm not stupid, Bella. I knew it was the beginning of the end. And that's fine. It is what it is."

I nodded, sitting again.

"I just wish you'd told me you wanted out."

"Did you not want out?" I asked, my voice small.

"I'm not going to lie; yes, I wanted out. But not like this. Honestly, I thought we'd end it officially when we went home," he admitted, shrugging. "We're not in love with each other, and you don't even want me touching you."

Tears burned behind my eyes, forcing me to look down before he saw.

"Hey." He knocked my knee with his foot. "My heart's not broken, Bella. Neither is yours."

"I know that," I whispered.

"You feel more like a roommate than a girlfriend." He sighed, cocking his head. "But you should've told me. And...I don't know. You should've waited. Maybe."

"I know."

A long silence stretched between us. Out in the living room, I could hear Angela moving around.

I couldn't stop wringing my hands. "So what now? I..."

"Nothing, I don't know. Just don't bring him around here."

Shocked, I shook my head. "What?"

"If we're not together, we're not together. It doesn't mean I want to see that guy's face. Let's be realistic. Would you want me bringing some girl home, _roomie_?" He was being more sarcastic than acerbic, but his tone still cut.

I scowled. "Of course not."

"So just...respect what we have left."

Nodding, I looked out the window, at the flamboyant tree, swaying peacefully in the breeze.

"I might not come back after Christmas," he said suddenly.

"Because of me?" I cried.

He shook his head slowly. "No. I've been thinking about it for awhile now."

"What do you mean, 'awhile'? We've only been here a few months."

"This not for me, Bella," he said. "St. Croix is a nice place to visit, but it's not somewhere I want to live."

"But I thought..." I shook my head, thinking about all the conversations we'd had about our idyllic lifestyle. "You said you loved it."

"I do. But not the way you do."

His words from the day before came back to me. "Is this what was bothering you yesterday?"

He nodded, picking up his coffee again. "I didn't know how to tell you. I thought you'd be upset."

"Well since we're getting it all out, I might as well tell _you_ that I'm probably staying. Even after the season ends," I said, running my fingers over the fabric of our bedspread.

"Wow," Pete said softly. "That's...wow. I guess you really do love it more than I do."

"I feel like I was meant to be here. Like I was made for this life. Although the thought of being here without you is really weird. I'm a little nervous about it. I don't know."

"You'll be okay. If nobody else, Ty'll take care of you."

I laughed, even though I almost wanted to cry. The whole conversation was making me sentimental.

"And then there's _Edward_," he practically sneered.

I scooted over so that I was sitting right next to him. "I'm really, really sorry, Pete. I just – it happened unexpectedly. Not that it matters, but –"

He shrugged. "Whatever, Bella."

"Not whatever. I mean it."

"I don't know what you want me to say," he said, laughing incredulously. "I mean, damn. It's over. It's probably been over. Give me a minute to catch up."

He was right. It was done, and there wasn't any point in discussing it to death. I stood up, grabbing both of our coffee mugs. "I'm gonna make breakfast with Angie."

I'd made it to the door when he stopped me."Hey, babe?"

I turned, smirking at his somewhat sarcastic term of endearment.

"Make me extra bacon, will ya?"

* * *

Needless to say, Pete did not join us for our hike to the baths at Davis Bay. He said he was tired, and that Edward was an asshole, and that he'd rather just kick back with Ty at the dive shop. I didn't have much to say about that, so I just let it go. We hadn't cried or screamed or even fought, really. In the end it had been very efficient, and to the point. Very...Peter and Bella.

A lot of the group from Thanksgiving did show up, though, with backpacks full of leftovers for when we got hungry later.

My mind was swirling; tidbits of my conversation with Pete...intense relief that there were no more secrets...an odd sense of loss that we were actually, officially done. I didn't know why. Like he'd said, it had been over, really, for awhile.

But none of that compared to the nervous happiness I got when I saw Edward at the beach. Angie and I were the last ones to arrive, and when we showed up, the group began making its way down the sand toward the small, rocky peninsula jutting out at the end of the shore.

I'd told Angela everything on the drive over, and while she pretended to be scandalized by the way things had transpired, she was glad Pete and I had "figured our shit out".

"There's your boy," she murmured, waving when Edward came in to view.

Before I could respond, she took off, jogging to catch up with Laurie, who was up walking ahead.

Edward came right to me, grabbing my bag and adding it to his own load. "I was afraid you weren't gonna show."

I smiled shyly. "Wouldn't miss this for anything."

"Everything okay?" He looked around, then back at me. "Where's Pete?"

"Not coming."

"Too hungover?" he asked, somewhere between amusement and concern.

"Not really... I –"

"He knows, doesn't he."

I nodded.

Taking my hand, he pulled me to a stop. "Are _you_ okay?"

The sun shone bright overhead, making his hair look like there was gold spun thorough it. We were so close I could see his freckles. His eyes looked different today, more green.

And his lips. They curved in to a smile as I watched.

This time, I had my own moves.

This time, I kissed him.

* * *

_**yeah, i flirted w/the idea of edward & bella hooking up, wrong and strong, like leo and that hot french chick in the movie "the beach" (come on, ya'll know you liked watching them do it in the water/on the sand regardless of her dorky boyfriend) but decided against it.**_


	11. Material

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**storyline - Brighter**_

_**prompt - material**_

_**NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

I kept waiting for someone to say something, to at least notice that Edward and I were holding hands, but no one ever did. Maybe being with him was only a big deal in _my_ mind.

Well, mine and Angela's. She kept on sneaking glances, smiling.

Our hike took longer than I expected. At first we trekked through a rainforest, walking almost single file down a well worn path. It was calm feeling and cool, nothing but birds, our voices and the shushing of trees overheard. Eventually we came to the hard part: the rocky side of a mini mountain we had to scale in order to get to the baths, or tide pools. But it wasn't exactly all work and no play. The sun was bright, and a steady wind blew, cooling us off. I was glad Edward had recommended sneakers, the rocks underfoot were sharp and rough. I couldn't imagine trying to do this in flip flops, or barefoot.

"You okay?" Edward murmured, tightening his grip on me as we reached the small summit and started our descent toward the pools.

"Yeah." I kept my eyes on my progress, not wanting to fall.

The first members of the group reached the water, and by the time we'd joined them, there was all sorts of whooping and hollering as they started jumping in. I paused, taking a couple of pictures. It was...breath taking. The tide pools were clear and shallow, separated from the sea by thick reefs and rocks. Ocean waves crashed over the rocks, continually giving and taking water from the pools.

"You actually have to be careful," Edward told Angela and me as we sat down to take our shoes off. "See how the water gets sucked out with the tide?" He pointed to the bottom of the rocks. "It can pull you under if you're not careful."

We got down to our swimsuits and eased in to the water. It was calmer at one end, and personally, I preferred it. I wasn't in the mood to jump off the cliff face like Edward's daredevil friends. Maybe I'd jump once before leaving, but for now, I just wanted to enjoy this place.

And Edward's face.

And the fact that he kept touching me, fingertips on my hips or the small of my back.

"It's so pretty here," I commented a little later, snapping another picture. Angela had bought a cheap, disposable under-water camera, and we were having a ball playing around with it. I made her promise to send me doubles.

"Ha! Doubles. Very old school in such a digital age," she snorted. "I'll just find somebody with a scanner when I get back."

I sighed, a little sad that she had to leave so soon. "I wish you were staying longer," I said, tugging her wet ponytail.

She turned toward me, pouting. "Me too. This went by way too quickly."

"At least I'll see you for Christmas," I said.

"Yeah," she said, focusing her camera on one of the boys leaping in to the water. "Let's just enjoy this. I don't want to think about leaving yet."

* * *

"Call me later," Edward said, his eyes cast down. He pulled at my tank top, then slipped his hand just underneath, resting it on my shorts.

"I will," I promised, a little breathless at his touch. Now that we had free access to one another, the lack of boundaries almost scared me. I knew I should probably put the brakes on a bit, slow things down, but it felt counter-intuitive. I just wanted to...go with it.

It was very unlike me.

Or maybe it was me. This me.

Edward raised his head, glancing around the parking lot. Everyone else had left, and Angela was in my car already, being all ooey-gooey on the phone with Ben. "Promise?"

I cocked my head. "Didn't I say I would?"

But he just kissed me instead, backing me up against his truck, gently pressing his warm body to mine. My heart dropped...in a really good way. Each kiss was a little longer, a little deeper. Felt more intimate. I ran my hands down his arms and around, over his naked back. He gripped my hips and then my waist, wrapping his hands so that they covered as much of my skin as possible.

After a moment I pulled away and gazed up in to his eyes. My heart raced. I didn't want to stop, which was precisely why I did. "I should go," I whispered unevenly.

He leaned down, kissing each of my cheeks, slowly, gently. "You know how to get back to the main road, right?"

I nodded.

"Drive safely," he said, backing away.

I adjusted my shirt and pressed my palms to my cheeks, feeling how they burned.

"You too."

* * *

Angela and I spent the evening with Jasper, Alice and the girls. Pete came over, too. He seemed pretty mellow, and if I didn't know better, it would be impossible to tell that anything had gone down between us. I figured it would take a couple more days...or weeks...before our vibe was back to normal, but I could handle it. And maybe more importantly, so could he.

"You better learn to cook like this, Bella," Angela said to me, patting her belly.

Alice had gone all out for Angie's last Crucian meal, making fried fish, johnny cakes, and homemade soursop juice.

"She's getting there," Pete said, giving me a wink. "You should try her arroz con pollo," he teased.

"Oh my gosh, shut up!" I laughed, smacking his arm. I'd attempted one of Alice's recipes a couple of weeks before, and had burned the rice so thoroughly that it was a running joke now. "You'll see. I'll get the hang of it and then you'll be eating your words!"

"And your food, hopefully," he added, raising an eyebrow.

I rolled my eyes at his silliness and turned to Alice. "This was so good. Thank you."

"Any time, sweetie. You know I love to do it."

We hung out with them a little longer and then retreated back to our side, where I fished out a couple of bottles of flavored Cruzan Rum. Angela clapped her hands in delight. We'd taken her on a quick tour of the rum factory her first day and she'd fallen in love with the stuff. "For me?"

"Yeah, we got these for you to bring back," I said, grabbing the special cardboard box she'd be using to transport the bottles on the plane.

"I want some now," she said, making a face.

"Hold on, don't open those or else they won't let you take them on the plane," Pete said, disappearing in to the kitchen. He returned with several open bottles and a bunch of shot glasses. "Here. Let's do your last night right."

"Which do you want first?" I asked.

"Coconut."

"Of course." It was her favorite. "To a safe trip home," I said, toasting her.

"To best friends," she said, on our second round.

"To roommates," Pete said, when it was his turn. We were a little tipsy by this point, and getting sloppy.

"Pete," I groaned. "Do we need to talk again?"

"I'm just messing with you," he chortled, looking genuinely amused.

Angela kicked him. "Behave yourself."

"I always behave," he said, waggling his eyebrows as he poured us another round. Guava, this time.

"So not true," I said, smiling.

Angela was the first to pass out. Well, more like, she flung her flip flops across the living room, stretched out on the couch, tossed up a peace sign, and went down.

Peter stood up, stretching. "So how do you wanna do this?"

"Do what?" I asked, laying on the floor.

"Sleeping arrangements."

"Oh. Oh yeah." I frowned. "I don't know. Just...you take the bed."

"I can't take the bed, Bella. You take it; i'll take the floor."

"I'll sleep in here with Ange tonight; you take the bed. We'll figure it out later," I said, waving him off.

Scratching his head, he looked uncertainly at our couches, more cast offs we'd acquired along the way.

"Dude," I said, pointing to our bedroom.

"Fine." He started to walk away, then came back, extending a hand. I took it, letting him haul me up.

"Thanks," I said, giving him a light hug. He kissed the top of my head and walked away, closing our door with a quiet click. Either he'd softened up during the day or the rum had made him sentimental.

After using the bathroom, I turned off most of our lights and stepped outside with my phone.

Edward picked up after a couple of rings.

"Hello?"

"Hiiii, Edward."

"Hey." He laughed softly. "Are you drunk?"

"A little."

"Where are you?"

"Home. Safe and sound."

"Ah, okay. I take it you had a good night?"

I sighed, sinking in to the wicker seat on the porch. "I did. Alice cooked...really yummy stuff...and then we came back to our house and did shots."

"Shoulda had a bartender; I could've made you real drinks," he said, teasing. But not really.

"Oh, yeah? Well. Next time."

"Next time," he echoed.

Closing my eyes, I settled back against the cushions. "Edward?"

"Hm?"

"I really like you."

"I really like you too."

"Don't break my heart."

There was a pause, long enough that my eyes drifted open.

"Don't break mine."

"I would never."

"Good. I don't think I could handle that." He said it lightly, but I could tell he meant it.

"You're not the one in a new place, trying to figure stuff out," I said quietly. "I'm staying here for me, but...I want to stay here for you, too."

"Stay with me tomorrow night," he said suddenly.

Biting my lip, I sat up straight, like that would help me think more clearly. "Why?"

"Because I want to hang out without having to think about you leaving at the end."

"I'd have to leave eventually," I said, smiling in the darkness.

"Yeah, but you could always come back."

"What, every night? Yeah right."

"Why not?" he laughed.

"I like my bed," I said, yawning.

"Pete's in your bed."

_Whoops_. "I...it's not like that anymore."

"I know it's not. But I'd still feel better if you were here."

"We'll see."

"Yeah, we will."

I yawned, suddenly overcome with sleepiness. Hiking and playing in the sun, good food, and too much rum did that to a girl.

"Go to sleep, Bella."

"Mkay. Night, Edward."

"Good night."

* * *

I managed not to tear up until after I'd dropped Angie at the airport.

As much as I adored my new life, I'd forgotten how badly I missed my friends. My old friends. Angela promised she'd be back. I think she knew I needed her, and she said she missed me too much anyway, too.

Pete was at work when I got back home, having gotten a ride in with Ty. Our place needed a good cleaning; Peter could be messy in the mornings, especially if he was running late. And he usually was if we'd been drinking the night before.

I'd just finished mopping when I heard the crunch of gravel out front. I peered out the window, surprised to see Edward getting out of his truck. Grimacing, I looked down at my ratty old t-shirt and shorts. I hadn't even showered yet.

Oh well. It was too late to do anything except free my hair from its messy ponytail.

I opened the door before he knocked. "Hey."

"Hey." He subtly looked me up and down, making me feel naked. I wasn't wearing a bra, so maybe I did look a little indecent.

I waved him inside. "I was just cleaning this place up. I wish you'd told me you were coming..."

"Sorry. It was kind of a last minute decision...I'm heading in to town now."

"Working?"

"Yup."

"Maybe I'll come in later. See if the bartender can hook me up with 'real drinks'." I grinned, walking to the kitchen so I could wash my hands of cleaning stuff.

"So you remember," he chuckled. "I wondered."

"Yeah, I was pretty toasty, but...no. I remember."

"You weren't just drunk dialing me?"

I gave him a dirty look, making him laugh. "No...I said I'd call, remember?"

He nodded, coming closer. "I remember."

I hopped up on to the counter, grabbing an orange from the fruit bowl we kept there "And I meant what I said."

"About what?"

"You know what," I rolled the orange between my palms.

A look passed between us. He stepped closer, and I parted my legs to let him in.

"You said a couple of things," he said, squeezing my thigh. "But I meant what I said, too."

I nodded, biting my lip.

"So, you don't have to work at all today?"

"Nope."

"Come to the Pub, then."

As if I could say no. My heart pitter-pattered his name for God's sake. "Sure. Just let me finish up here and then I'll make my way downtown."

He kissed me lightly, letting his fingertips just under the hem of my shorts.

"You're very touchy," I breathed.

"Only with you," he said.

"I like it..."

"Do you want to stay with me tonight?" His lips brushed against mine.

"I don't know if I should."

"Think about it and...let me know."

We kissed, long and slow. His hands moved up under the material of my shirt, touching bare skin. I locked my ankles, hugging him closer. So close I felt his phone vibrate. He broke away, digging for his phone. "That's probably Emmett, wondering where I am..."

He laughed, showing me the screen. It was indeed Emmett, being his usual, crude self. He texted back and pocketed the phone, leaning back into me.

"Anyway, I'm not...propositioning you or anything. I just want to chill."

"You want to chill. All night."

"Yeah." He grinned impishly.

_Don't do it, girl. Don't do it. _

"Okay."

* * *

_**"Crucian" is the 'proper' term; "Cruzan" is more slang. As in, no one really says Crucian, they all say Cruzan. And the rum is Cruzan. "croo-jhan" not "crew-zan". please.**_

_**also, i was kind of kidding about having e and b do the dirty last chapter (it'd be a little premature, no pun intended) but i'm glad to see you're all on board anyway! haha!**_

_**and, thanks for the reviews, loves. i know i'm a total lame-o for not replying, but it's hard when i update daily. and tiny tyrant makes it reeeeeeally hard (twss). even getting these chapters out takes longer than i'd like thanks to him. in fact, he's ripping pictures off of a bulletin board right now. dammit...**_


	12. Smoke & Fire

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**storyline: Brighter **_

_**prompt /Plot Generator—Phrase Catch: Where there's smoke, there's fire.**_

_** NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

A text came though as I slid in to a pair of jeans. Readjusting the towel on my head, I glanced at the phone, spying Pete's picture next to the new message.

_You coming to town later? I'll need a ride back._

_Coming now. Will be hanging til whenever. U can take the car, I have a ride_

_I bet you do_

Wrinkling my nose, I stared at the screen, trying to figure out if he was being passive aggressive or just silly. I decided to go with the latter. If I was wrong, well, we'd just have to straighten things out. I'd been friends with Pete for way too long. Call me selfish, but I wasn't willing to give that up.

_I'll stop by the shop when I get to town, _I typed.

_k._

I raked through the closet, looking for a sassy little camisole Irina had bequeathed to me. Her boobs were a lot bigger than mine, and she said I could pull of tops that just made her look slutty. Personally, I never thought she looked anything but classily sexy (Halloween being an exception) but whatever. If she wanted to give me all of her cute clothes, I was cool with it.

"There you are," I murmured, snagging the purple top of its hanger.

I put it on, did my hair, grabbed my purse and shoes, and left.

And paused on the porch.

Because Edward had asked me to spend the night, and while I didn't want to be unprepared for that, bringing an overnight bag felt _really_ presumptuous. At this point in time, anyway. Chewing my lip, I let myself back in to the house.

Maybe just clean panties. And a toothbrush.

* * *

Another typical Saturday night in Christiansted.

A cruise ship had come in that morning, so town was teeming with people. They'd be back on the west side, to re-board the ship by sundown, though. I watched as they piled on to the taxi buses that would return them to Frederiskted, where the ships docked.

I parked and went straight for the dive shop, dodging a huge group of tourists on their way out. Pete was behind counter, talking to a tall, willowy blonde. I might not have paid her much mind, except it was quite obvious by her body language that she was in to him. I stayed near the wall, not wanting to bother him if he was making a sale...or getting a date. The thought didn't bother me the way it once would have, obviously, but it still felt foreign. We'd just been together so long. Even before we'd started dating, way back, we'd been sort of a team, often using each other to ward off members of the opposite sex we weren't interested in.

Pete looked like he could be interested in this girl, though. I plucked my phone from my purse and texted Laurie, asking her if she'd be out later.

"Bella."

I looked up at Pete. He smiled, shaking his head, like he knew what was up. I smiled too, glancing at the blonde. She glanced away quickly, eyes going to her phone. I put my own away, amused at how those in our generation always had a cell phone to turn to.

"Here ya go," I said lightly, handing over the keys. "I, uh..." I lowered my voice, realizing the absolute, inherent awkwardness of what I was about to say. "I'll be out late tonight. I might stay out."

Pete took the keys slowly, eyes searching mine. "Okay."

I winced. "Are you... this is weird, isn't it. Shoot..."

"Hey. Relax," he said, coming closer, his voice down. "This was bound to happen sooner than later. Just sooner for you, I guess."

I shook my head. "I don't want you to think –"

"It doesn't really matter what I think."

"Don't be that way..."

"I'm not," he said gently. "Give me a second, Kate," he called over his shoulder.

We stepped outside, leaving the air conditioning for the warm, balmy breeze of late afternoon.

"Sorry...I didn't mean to interfere...it looked like you were gonna..." I motioned toward the dive shop, and 'Kate'.

He rolled his eyes. "Anyway. What I meant was, we don't have to answer to each other, Bella. We're adults. Who used to date."

"I know. But I still care about you. I _do _care what you think."

"Well, I care what you think too, which is why I hope I'm not chasing you out of our place by staying there. I could take my stuff to Ty's, too, you know."

"No!" I cried, making a face. "That's just weird. Look, I know we're in a funky position, but let's just...go with it. I don't know. Let's just finish what we started –"

"We did finish it," he teased.

"Peter."

"Okay, okay. I'll stay. You'll stay. We won't bring anyone else around."

"Fine." I nodded once. "Um, well...have fun."

"And you be careful."

"I will."

"No, I mean it. I don't trust that kid."

"Who, Edward?"

"Is there someone else I should know about?"

"No." I gazed out toward the harbor, at the boats bobbing peacefully. "Don't worry though. I trust him."

"You trust too easily."

"I trusted you once, didn't I?"

"If you _still_ trust me, then you know I'm just looking out for you. I still care about what happens to you...even if you did call things off first." He smiled ruefully, and I knew then that while he certainly wasn't heartbroken, he was still working through the end of our relationship. And that was okay, because, I was too. It took adjusting.

"Go back to your friend," I said, turning him back toward the dive shop. "Before she leaves."

"Call me if anything happens," he said.

I watched him go back to his blonde, and then I walked away.

* * *

Edward had a Mai Tai waiting for me when I got to the Brew Pub.

He made me smile so hard sometimes. I took a picture of my drink, so I could Instagram it, of course, and then one of him. For more personal reasons.

"Hope it's not watered down," he said, kissing my cheek. "I made it when you texted from the parking lot."

"Oh, yeah. Sorry. I had to drop the car keys off to Peter."

"No worries." He motioned me closer, putting another maraschino cherry in to my drink.

"Thanks."

He winked, and then went to serve someone who'd just sat down.

Laurie texted back just then, letting me know she was already in town, eating an early dinner at Kendrick's with Eric. She said they'd come by the Pub afterwards.

"What's up?" Edward asked, suddenly sitting in a barstool at my side. Irina had taken his place behind the bar.

"Hey. Just texting Laurie; they're at Kendrick's."

"I love Kendrick's. We should go one night."

My tummy fluttered, the way it tended to do when he said things like that. I liked thinking about future times with him. Hesitantly, I leaned closer to him, craving his kisses but not sure if it was appropriate at the bar. I'd never been one for PDA. At all. So I gave him a tiny kiss by his ear, blushing as I pulled away.

His fingers found mine, and he pulled my hand on to his lap, smiling down at me.

"Well, well," Irina said, shaking her head as she stood across from us. "Guess it's true."

"What?" I asked.

"Where there's smoke, there's fire." It wasn't hard to decipher her cryptic comment; she'd long acknowledged the attraction between Edward and me. She smirked, eyeing Edward. "I'd say I was surprised but...nope."

"I'll take a Jack and Coke. Thanks," he responded, tapping the bar top.

She stuck out her tongue, but went to make the drink anyway.

"Do you think she's weirded out?" I asked, sipping my cocktail. "Because of Tanya?"

"Don't know and don't care," he said, shrugging.

"Well, I care. She's my friend."

"And I love that about you...that you have a conscience. You're a better person than me for sure."

"I wouldn't go that far," I said, snorting. Truth was, once I'd fully realized how badly I'd wanted Edward, there was very little that could've kept me from him.

Irina brought Edward's drink to him. "You taking off early tonight?" she asked.

"I don't know yet." His eyes flickered briefly to me. "It depends."

She nodded. "All right. Well, just let me know...and I'll be right back; I gotta bring this order back to Em."

Edward jumped up, quickly taking over the bar.

A live band started playing, and the pub quickly began filling up. Maggie showed up, and for awhile, she, Irina and Edward tag-teamed. Laurie and Eric came, and eventually so did Ty and Mike. It looked like Mike had found a girlfriend, a curvy, petite blonde with an impressive sunburn. They swayed drunkenly nearby, dancing and making out.

Edward kept me sweetened up with pretty cocktails, knowing I liked documenting the variety through pictures. I worked my way through a Sunset Passion Colada and a Mango Daiquiri before calling it quits, not wanting to be pukey on the way back to his place.

We left just before ten, arms linked as we said our goodbyes. Ty raised an eyebrow when he saw how connected we were, and I had a feeling I'd be hearing about it later. Pete was one of his best friends, after all.

"You're okay to drive?" I asked Edward as we approached his truck.

"Yeah, I only had that one drink," he said, looking down at his watch. "Almost four hours ago."

"'kay."

He swooped down, kissing me quickly before opening my door for me.

We drove with the windows down, music playing softly. I closed my eyes and let my hand drift out the window, enjoying the way the wind made it fly.

"I wanna show you something," Edward said after a while. He took a turn up a road I'd never seen before. We climbed high in to the hills, stopping only when we hit a dead end. Edward turned so that we were facing the exit, and then parked. The lights of Christiansted twinkled before us like a tiny city.

"Aw, that's so pretty," I breathed.

"We used to come up here all the time in high school, to drink and smoke," he said. "Lots of good times."

"What exactly is it?" I asked, looking around at the bushes surrounding the cul de sac shaped asphalt.

"They started building a housing development up here, way back in the day. Never finished. There's a whole bunch of roads just like this, scattered around, leading to nothing. This one's the most popular, though. I'm surprised no one else is up here."

"It looks like a total make out spot."

"It is," he said, unbuckling his seatbelt.

I unbuckled mine as he took my hand, pulling me closer on the truck's seat. Any lingering effects I'd been feeling from my drinks gave way to the intoxication of his closeness. Our lips met, and I slipped my arm around his neck, trying to get closer. He pulled me on to his lap, and I slid my knees to the sides of his thighs, straddling him.

We kissed that way forever, and when I gasped for breath he dragged his lips down my throat, sucking at my pulse.

He kept his hands on my hips, squeezing so tight sometimes, but never grabbing anywhere else. I didn't know if he was waiting to do that later, or if he was just trying to behave. Either way, I didn't mind. I was spaced out and dreamily overwhelmed by his taste, touch and feel.

The DJ on the radio announced that it was midnight. I don't know how we even heard him; the volume was down low.

Edward gave me one last kiss and set me down on my side. "Wanna go home?"

* * *

_**ok. so, i can't help but think The Wanted's cheestastic little song "I'm Glad You Came" (which sounds dubiously double meaning-ed to me, but maybe i just read too much fic/sexytimes) reminds me of Brighter. even the video is all woot! make out & party in bikinis and jump off cliffs in to the warm waters!**_

_**haaaa :) **_

_**happy friday, island lovers! **_


	13. Deadline

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**storyline - Brighter**_

_**prompt - deadline**_

_**NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

I hadn't noticed the lights before.

Maybe because, on Thanksgiving, we'd arrived during the day. And when we'd left later that night, I'd been focused on directing Angie back down the hill, a passed out Peter, and the fact that Edward had just kissed me. So yeah, I hadn't really been paying attention to the lights lining his driveway last time.

I sure saw them now, though. Little blue spheres glowed along either side of the road, leading right up to where we parked. So pretty.

Edward parked and turned off the truck, sitting back. Watching me.

"I like those," I said quietly, pointing.

He nodded. "They're solar powered. My mom's in to that."

"How long have they been gone?"

"Two years. They moved back to Chicago as soon as I was all set up with the bar." He smiled to himself. "My mother cried all the way to the airport."

"Why'd they go?"

"My Dad has skin cancer, and even though it could've been treated between here and Puerto Rico, there are better facilities in the states."

My heart sank at his words. "Is he...okay?"

"He's fine. They just have to keep watch." He shrugged. "And now they're totally settled up there. They love it."

"Is that where you went to college? Chicago?"

"It is, actually." He snorted. "Now that's something I don't miss...All that homework...assignments, deadlines..."

"I don't miss it, either," I said. I'd enjoyed college, but I wanted to do different things now.

I gazed out at the lights, wondering if I'd get to meet the woman who put them there. I hoped Edward and I would have that kind of relationship. I didn't know about him just yet, but I didn't date all the much. I'd always either been alone or in a steady relationship.

"Come on," he said, touching my arm as he got out.

The night had gotten cooler, and a brisk wind blew. I shivered in my thin top; had I been back in Seattle I'd have had a cardigan or something, but that never occurred to me down here.

Edward opened the front door, and brought me inside, turning on just one light so we could see where we were going. Reaching back for my hand, he led me down the hall to the last door on the left. Admittedly, I was rather curious to see how Edward lived. I had seen the rest of the house on Thanksgiving, but not his bedroom, obviously.

It was...not what I was expecting. In a good way.

A four poster bed sat in the middle of a huge room. Hard wood floors, white curtains billowing in the breeze...I felt like we were in a resort.

"Wow," I laughed, clapping a hand over my mouth. "Was this your parent's, too?"

"The room was, not the furniture." He grinned, kicking his shoes off. "That's all mine. You like it?"

"You do realize I sleep on a futon, right?" I asked, putting my purse on a chair in the corner. "This is very classy."

"It's mahogany," he said, walking over to the bed, running his hand over the wood. "I know a guy who works with wood, hand crafts stuff like this."

"Really? So this was made for you?"

"Yup."

I touched the bed spread. "Well, it's beautiful."

He nodded. "Thanks. Anyway, you hungry at all?"

"I kind of have the munchies," I admitted.

"Let's go find something."

We rustled around the kitchen awhile, snacking and and making jokes. His fridge was covered in pictures, a couple of which were pretty old.

One in particular caught my attention. "Is this you?" I cried, my words warbled by a mouth full of grapes.

"And Jasper," Edward said, pointing to another kid in the photograph I was looking at. They looked like they were about twelve or thirteen.

"Which beach is this?" I asked.

"Buck Island. You need a boat to go, but it's worth it."

"Yeah?"

"Prettiest beach you've ever been to, I promise."

It looked like it, with sugary sand and water that could've been from a swimming pool.

I finished off my snacks with a long swallow of water and patted my belly. "Better now."

Edward eyed me over the top of his glass.

"What?" I bit back a smile; he made me feel so flirty all the time. Pretending to ignore him, I turned to face the counter. "Hey, do you have a dishwasher?"

"Forget that," he said, shoving our dirty plates and cups in to the sink. "I'll do it tomorrow."

"But..." I hated leaving dirty messes for the next day. I glanced at him over my shoulder, but he just nodded toward the hallway.

My stomach dipped. I followed him back to the bedroom, where he paused beside the bed and pulled off his shirt.

"Im going to take a shower."

I clasped my hands in front of me. "Okay."

"Do you want to take one?"

"No, I'm okay." I blushed hotly. "I mean, I took one before coming out earlier."

He nodded, eyes on me as he stepped out of his jeans. I grinned, shaking my head.

I'd seen him like this, at the beach, but the context was so, so different.

And honestly, even then –at the beach –it was hard not to look and want.

"You might change your mind when you see it," he said.

"See _what_?" I gasped incredulously.

His eyes widened, and he broke in to the loudest, most rowdy laughter I'd every heard, and he was so beautiful and amused and just...silly...that I started giggling, too.

"The shower, Bella. Once you see the _shower."_

"_Oh!_" I blushed even worse than before. "Oh, shut up... you can see how it sounded like you meant something else."

"Not really, but apparently your mind's there, anyway."

"Please, like your mind isn't there." I scoffed.

"My mind has been there for awhile," he said, coming to me. "I've just been waiting for you to catch up."

We stood there in the middle of his room, cool breeze blowing through the screened windows, low lights, no sound but wind in the trees. I ran my hands down his warm chest, allowing him to tilt my face up and press his lips to mine. He cupped my cheeks, holding me just so, kissing me and kissing me.

His hands left my face; I felt them seconds later at the edges of my shirt, pulling up. I hadn't been able to wear a bra, so I'd opted for another, smaller little tank underneath. Leaving that one on, he took my camisole off, dropping it to the floor.

"Do you want to take a shower with me?" he asked again, nuzzling my neck with his nose, his mouth warm and wet and sucking.

"Yeah," I breathed, holding him close, pressing our chests together. "But I probably shouldn't."

He ran a finger around the top of my jeans, back to front, ending by my button. I took care of that, and the zipper too, and he helped me tug my jeans off.

Edward glanced down at me then, at all of that new skin he'd uncovered. He gripped my arms gently, like they were the only things keeping him from pawing at me. His eyes drank me in, head to toe, like I was already naked.

"If I take these off we're probably going to have sex and I don't know if I'm ready for that yet," I whispered.

"That's okay," he said. He looked at me, swallowing visibly.

I didn't want him to think I was tease, but I didn't want to do something I'd regret, either. "Are you sure?"

"I didn't just bring you up here for sex," he said, taking my hand.

"Oh, right. We came up here to chill," I said, smiling.

He tickled his fingers across my naked back, making me cringe away in laughter. We walked in to the bathroom, which, like the bedroom, was spacious and open. I caught my reflection in the mirror over the sink. Tousled hair, pink cheeks, eyes dark and shining. He did that to me.

When I saw the shower, I understood why Edward had wanted to show it to me.

"What on earth..." I wandered closer, peering inside. Smooth gray stone, granite maybe, made up the shower walls. But what really impressed me was the ceiling. As in, there wasn't one. If I really concentrated, I could see the glass up there, but the effect was stunning: I was looking at the stars. "That's..."

"I know. My Dad built it. He built this entire house."

"Well. I'll definitely shower in that tomorrow," I joked, backing away, arms folded over my chest. "Anyway. I'll...be in bed. In your bed."

"Okay," he chuckled.

The shower came on as I climbed in to that colossal bed. It looked...felt...like it was made for rolling around. I wondered if he'd brought many women up here. If he'd brought any. He was a social person, but he was also private, I was beginning to think that maybe he wasn't the ladies man I'd initially judged him to be.

"Hey," he said, standing in the doorway of the bathroom, toweling his hair.

"Hi." I pulled the covers up, chilly from the breeze.

He stood there for a moment, watching me, and then disappeared back. When he returned, he'd put on a pair of sweatpants. All they did was emphasize his abs. And his v-lines.

"So where do you work out?" I asked, staring shamelessly. "I need to start."

"You look good."

"Thanks...but..."

"What happened to yoga with Alice?" he teased, getting in to bed with me.

I made a face.

"Em and I work out. He has a gym in his garage."

"For real?"

"Yup. But..." He peeled down the bedspread I was hiding under, and ran his hand up my leg, over my thigh. I shivered from the contact."I could work you out."

"I bet."

It always seemed to come to this, these flirty conversations that said one thing but meant other things. Having them when we were in bed, though, that was new.

His playful expression faded, and he climbed on top of me, parting my legs. For a second he just hovered there, looking down at me. I pulled him closer, legs wrapping around him instinctively. We kissed, and he came down, pressed against me fully, letting me feel him.

Soon his hands began to wonder, smoothing up my stomach, under my shirt. He touched my breasts, his fingertips catching on my nipples. I tightened, kissing him harder, running my fingers through his hair. I opened my eyes, and he opened his, and all I could see was his face, and how he was looking at me.

He rolled us over so that I was on top of him, and then pulled my shirt off. He dragged warm hands up my sides, over my waist to my breasts, touching them. Breathing shakily, I leaned down and kissed him, arching against him when he rubbed his hands down my bare back.

He grabbed my hips, moving me against him, and then rolled me on to my back again, kissing down my throat, and my chest, sucking my nipple in to his mouth. It was happening so quickly... and I realized I wanted to, wanted to really badly. I wanted him in ways I'd never wanted anybody else. That sentiment had always seemed really cliché, but now? It was how Edward made me feel.

But I guess he'd listened me when I'd said I wasn't quite ready, because he never took it any further. He took things close, but it kind of reminded me of back in the day, before sex, and all there was, was making out. I loved how he kissed me and touched, the sounds he made when I did something he liked.

We kissed this way forever, drifting off when the sun came up.

* * *

_**let them get a little worked before sealing the deal. i mean, i know it's edward. i know. trust me, bella knows too...**_


	14. Rapid

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**storyline - Brighter**_

_**prompt - rapid**_

_**not beta'd**_

* * *

There were different morning sounds at Edward's. Different than what I was used to.

His house was tucked against a hillside, so at night the breeze blew harder and in the day, the susurrus of many trees shushed a soothing sound, making me not want to leave the bed.

There were other things making not want to leave the bed, too, like Edward, and how indescribably sweet he looked while asleep. I studied him for a moment, loving that I could do so. Rapid, subtle flutters moved beneath his eyelids; he was dreaming.

I turned on to my back, entranced right away by the play of light on the walls, the quiet shadows of leaves against what I now saw was a very pale yellow wall. It was so pale it was nearly cream, and I wondered if too this had been the design of Edward, or of his mother.

I had no idea what time it was, but by the light it had to have been late morning, maybe even noon. Scenes of the night before flickered through my mind on automatic playback, visual, emotional and physical. I touched my lips, thinking of his touches and kisses, craving more of them, knowing I was getting attached and not really caring.

Or rather, I cared, but not enough to stop what was happening.

I'd been mellow for years, happy alone and then happy in a relationship or two, never regretting, always following my heart. But my heart had never led me to a cliff like this, never asked me to just _trust...and jump_. There was a little part of me, my rationale, probably, that reminded me I'd do well to keep a clear head. There was no rush, and honestly, that had probably been my voice of reason during the night hours, the very thing that kept my legs closed.

Well, not closed. Edward had been between them, all right. He just hadn't...been any further.

Head versus heart. I imagined everyone had been to this precipice at some point, or would one day. I couldn't pinpoint what it was, but something told me that this was it. Edward was the next big thing for me. Maybe even the only thing for me, but it was a little early for that.

I loved that Pete looked out for my best interest, but I couldn't agree with his mistrustful assessment of Edward. I had no reason to think anything of Edward but what he'd portrayed, and what he'd told me.

And honestly, looking at his sleeping face...how could I even try to resist? Why would I? I wanted him, so very badly, and I loved that he seemed to want me. In what way, remained to be seen. But I'd let him work for it, and then I'd let him in.

As if clouds were passing over the sun, the room dimmed. I shook off the crazy train of runaway thoughts and crept out of bed, desperate for the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror again, after, washing my hands, naked this time except for my underwear. My hair was...everywhere. I worked it in to a knot, thinking next time I'd bring a brush or comb.

But my face was the face of a girl in love. I'd never seen myself look quite this way. I looked...both older and younger at the same time. I let my eyes drift down over my body, past the faint dark marks on my chest (he hadn't hickeyed my neck because of what people might say), my nipples, rosy (from his mouth), my stomach...

Edward walked in, startling the crap out of me. He smiled sleepily, rubbing his eyes.

"I was wondering where you went," he said, making a beeline for the toilet.

I blushed at his comfort level, skittering away so he could pee in peace. But he came for me anyway when he was done, tugging me back toward that bright bathroom. He started the shower again, pulling down his sweatpants...but not boxers...I was sure he'd worn those for me... and brought me inside. No asking nicely this time; he was taking this shower with me.

This time it was golden, illuminated by sunshine. I looked up as the warm water hit me, marveling at the blue sky.

"I love this," I said, suddenly inundated by this really happy feeling, like everything was good, or it would be soon.

"Me too," Edward murmured, pressing against me once again.

I looked away from the skylight and in to his eyes, at the water droplets on his eyelashes, and kissed him. He held me close, tangling his fingers in my hair, picking right up where we'd left off, complete with my breathlessness and his morning wood.

I wanted him to touch me, but he tapered off our kisses, gentle, slow.

"Come on," he said, giving my neck a quick nip before pulling away completely. "I'm hungry."

"Me too..."

We shared the soap, talking about things like any couple would. And it occurred to me that maybe we were a couple now, just like that.

* * *

We were driving down Centerline, also known as the 'Queen Mary Highway', when the raindrops began speckling the windshield. I was no stranger to rain, being from Washington State, but I appreciated that in St. Croix it always passed quickly.

By the time we reached the bakery Edward had wanted to go to, the sun had joined the rain, giving us a sun-shower. The trees in the parking lot sparkled wetly, dampening my shoulder as I passed.

"They have the best bread," Edward said, grabbing my hand.

I loved that he knew these things, that his love for the island was so apparent and so deep seated. This was no passing fancy for him, no adventure he'd get over...it was his life. It was the place that helped raise him, and it was evident in his respect for not just the St. Croix itself, but its culture. He knew so many people, statesiders and locals alike; he belonged.

The bakery was packed. We stood in line, and when it was our turn, Edward ordered butter bread and cheese, a loaf of raisin bread, and several tarts of different kinds...guava, coconut, pineapple. Everything in the glass case looked appealing, even though I didn't know what half of it was.

"Is there anything else you want?" he asked, leaning closer.

I shook my head, smiling. "Nah, I think you covered it."

He nodded, smiling, and paid.

We ate on our the way to Dorsch Beach, which turned out to be, perhaps, the most crystal clear water I'd seen so far.

"This is gorgeous," I mumbled, crumbs probably flying out of my mouth as I ate pieces of bread with cheese. So simple and yet, so satisfying and good. I could see why Edward had stocked up; we were in Frederiksted now, and that was on the west end of the island. A bit of a drive from where we all lived.

"I know, It's one of my favorite beaches..."

"I can see why."

"Rainbow is right down there," he said, pointing to far away. "Around the corner and further down."

"Oh..." I remembered the day he'd taken me jet skiing, how nervous and conflicted he'd made me feel.

The conflict was gone, but the nerves hadn't abated much.

When I was done stuffing my face, I stripped down to my bikini and made my way toward the water. We'd stopped by my place, earlier, so I could grab my swimsuit. Peter had been passed out on the couch, making me wonder how late he'd stayed out.

Edward joined me seconds later. We swam around for awhile, enjoying the tepid water and the emptiness of the beach.

"I wish I had a mask," I lamented, gazing at the water.

"We have time for that," Edward said. "Just enjoy it. We'll come back."

"Okay." I floated on my back for a while, basking in the sun. I felt Edward's hand at my foot, keeping me close so I didn't drift away. I opened one eye, sneaking a peek at him. "Hey."

"What's up?"

I stood up, moving so that I was closer. "Remember that time? At the Full Moon Party?"

He smirked and looked off in to the distance. "Yup."

"Why were you such a jerk to me?"

He frowned. "I wasn't a jerk..."

"Yes, you were. You totally accused me of being this typical tourist girl, like I was just gonna...I don't know. Live it up and leave."

I half expected him to laugh along, but he didn't. Instead, he looked at me, like really looked. "Well, a lot of people do just that. I can't really blame them, this place isn't for everyone. It drives me nuts half the time."

"What do you –"

"Island fever. It's little things. Sometimes the grocery store runs out of something I want, or...the ATM runs out of money on busy holiday weekends, or...the endless frigging potholes in the road. But then I look around and I remember where I am and it's like...I love my life. I don't want to leave. Not know, and maybe not ever." He focused on me, his eyes intense. "I've seen people fall in love with this place and then fall out of love with it so fast it makes your head spin. I've seen _so many couples_ break up because of it."

I thought of Laurie, and the story she'd told me when we'd first moved. I thought of Peter, and how we very well may have broken up too, even without Edward. Because I liked island life. And wanted to explore it for as long as I could, while Pete was already over it.

"So, you thought I was just..."

"I don't know what I thought." He shook his head.

I swam closer, grasping his shoulders, wrapping my legs around him. I could see already that I was quickly entering that stage where being apart form him sucked, where I wanted to be physically close if he was around. Thankfully, he seemed to feel the same way, because he put his arms around me, too, his hands, holding my thighs.

I swear, I would've stayed right there, forever.

"I don't want to leave," I said, kissing his chin. "I love it here. And...I think I could make a life here."

"I know you could. But that's all you."

"I know." I nodded, biting my lip. "I know it is. And eventually, I'll probably have to figure something out...maybe something besides working the counter at Coconuts."

"Hey, don't knock it," he chuckled. "You get freebies at Coconuts."

"Yeah, anyway," I laughed, rolling my eyes, "my point is, I could see myself staying here. Indefinitely."

"Well, I hope you do," he said.

Our eyes met, and I saw so many things in his. He didn't want me going anywhere, that much was obvious, but I thought maybe...I saw some caution, too. Like he didn't want to get too attached and then get burned. I could understand that, because I felt the same way, even if for different reasons. He could easily decide that this relationship wasn't for him. Wasn't that how it was for every couple?

Only time would tell, for both of us. For me, though? I was sold.

On St. Croix, and on Edward.

* * *

_**best friend is here, hence the late update.**_

_**love yous! see you tomorrow. **_

_**xoxo**_


	15. Suffer

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

**storyline: Brighter **

**prompt - suffer**

**NOT BETA'D**

* * *

Alice was already beginning to show, just a little bit.

"With Leah, it took forever. Rachel, a little faster. But this time, my belly came quick," she laughed, tugging at the loose dress she was wearing. "It's like muscle memory or something."

I nodded, smiling at her baby bump. "It's so cute."

"It is, right now. Wait'll I'm a blimp," she laughed.

I couldn't imagine; Alice was so tiny.

We finished getting the girls ready and got in the car. Alice and I had closing shift at Coconuts, so we were spending the morning doing a little grocery shopping. Alice wanted to show me this organic farm out on the South Shore called Southgate Farms.

We hit the road, playing music and catching up. Our schedules had been off for a couple of weeks, mainly because she was just now getting over her morning sickness. Now we'd be sharing shifts again, which I liked. Working with Laurie was great, but Alice was special to me. We just...clicked really well.

The sky spread out before us, vast and somehow even deeper than usual. I hadn't been to this side of the island, really. It was mostly countryside, dotted with the occasional house or herd of cows. Alice pointed out an old dairy at one curve in the road, a Boy Scouts camping ground in another.

"Ha'Penny Beach is nice too; the road sucks, though. Make sure Edward takes you camping there," she said, giving me a knowing smile.

Blushing, I nodded. "Do a lot of people camp there?"

"Actually, yeah. There's this thing we do...every January, after we've taken the Christmas trees down, we bring them to Ha'Penny and have this huge bonfire with them. It's so much fun...I'm looking forward to it," she gushed. "Even though I can't drink this year."

I gazed at the water passing in the near distance, imagining the scene she described. "That sounds like a lot of fun..."

"It is," she assured me. "Too bad Pete's gonna miss it. He's losing out by going back so soon."

"He really is." Truth be told, I had mixed feelings about Peter leaving. On one hand, I felt like another close friend, one of my _closest_, was leaving. We'd always hung out, ever since we'd become friends, so I'd miss his daily presence in my life. I was also a little apprehensive about staying on island by myself. Pete assured me that he'd already spoken to Ty, and that he'd promised to watch out for me, but it was still a strange feeling knowing I'd be on my own.

But on the other hand, I was excited about being independent. It felt like an adventure, a challenge. A new start. I was also glad that Pete would be moving on as well, going toward the goals he held so closely to his heart. I still admired that drive in him, even if our paths diverged partly because of it. God knew I had my own ambitions, and they weren't anywhere close to his.

And then there was Edward, who was actually living his dream. He was doing it, doing the thing he wanted most in the world. He inspired me, and I appreciated the way he pushed me to do what I wanted, to. He'd been the one to make me see that staying on St. Croix wasn't as silly and quixotic as it seemed.

Alice pulled in to the parking area in a cloud of dust. I jumped out, helping her unbuckle the girls from their carseats. We took their hands and went in to the farm, part of which was covered over with the goods that had already been harvested and picked, and were ready to be sold.

"Nice, right?" Alice grinned at me, arching an eyebrow.

"Oh, totally," I said, thinking fondly of some of my favorite farmer's markets back in Seattle. "I can't wait ti explore."

"Here," she said, handing me a little basket full of lemongrass. "Edward likes tea made from this."

Another smug grin. I pinched her arm lightly this time. "Okay, Smirky McSmirkeson. I get it."

"What?" she giggled.

"Between you and Leah, I think you've got the matchmaker schtick down."

"No matchmaking," she said, tilting her head. "Just...you make him happy. And that makes me happy because...I really love that guy."

Not knowing what to say to that, I sniffed at the lemongrass in my hand. It smelled so good, making me want more just so I could keep it in my kitchen.

"You care about him, don't you?" Alice continued, walking alongside me. The girls ran up ahead, stopping at a small flower display.

"Yes," I admitted. "Maybe too much. He could hurt me so easily."

"Hey." She took my arm, garnering my attention. "He could, but he won't. People think he's more of a player than he really is...but...he's a lot like Jas used to be. Just be patient with him. We always want guys to wear their hearts on their sleeves, but most of them don't."

I nodded, moved by the sincerity her big, blue eyes.

She pushed her bangs aside. "Anyway, it's your business, and I don't mean to intrude. I just wanted you to know that I... I vouch for Edward. And if something crappy happens – not that I think it will, but you never know – I'm here. You're not alone down here."

"I appreciate that," I said, exhaling. "A lot. I need all the help I can get."

"I know," she said, glancing at the girls. "I was in the same position a few years back when I came down, so no worries."

Rachel was waving around what looked like a bushel of herbs, so we hurried over before she could make a mess.

I made sure to grab another basket of lemongrass. Just in case.

* * *

_R u working all week?_

I looked at my schedule, just to make sure, and then answered Edward's text. _Yes. Opening everyday but Thurs, when I close._

His reply came a second later. _ok. _

I put my phone away, wondering if we'd get to hang out later. It had been a pretty busy couple of weeks for us both: lots of opening shifts on my end and closing shifts on his, making alone time virtually impossible. Thankfully, we worked so near one another in town, that I saw him all the time. Quick visits, shared lunches...I fed him breakfast, he gave me my very own happy hour.

I'd stayed at his house just twice more, and it had been more of the same. The most wonderful same: kissing, talking, touching.

He had a hard time keeping his hands to himself, and I had a hard time stopping him, especially when his fingers could make me come in under a minute. Maybe I was just so worked up that by the time we actually started making out, I was halfway to an orgasm already.

A large group came in, forcing me to focus on work. By the time they left, it was already two, and time for Siobhan, the new hire, to relieve me. I cleaned up a little, greeting her when she came in. We chatted for a second, and then I took off my apron.

"See you later," I called, slinging my purse over my shoulder. "Call me if you need me; I'll be at the Brew Pub."

"Okay, Bella," she said, waving from behind the counter.

I stepped out in to the day, breathing deep the scent of salt and sunshine. Town was moderately crowded; as Christmas started to draw near, a lot of the kids who'd left for college started coming home. There was a festive feeling in the air, and a part of twinged with longing, wishing I could stay for the holidays.

But, that was still three weeks away, and besides, I already had my plane ticket. I missed my parents like crazy, as well as some of my friends, and I knew that once I stepped foot in Seattle, it would feel_ so_ good to be with them.

Irina was behind the bar when I got there, talking with a customer. She waved at me when our eyes met, but her smile was a little forced.

I faltered, almost pausing before sitting down. She scooted down to where I was sitting and leaned close. "Hey, hon."

"Hey," I said, tapping her hand affectionately.

"Listen, Tanya's here, so I don't want you to freak out, okay?"

My heart sank to my toes. "Oh...okay. What's up? Is she...?" I didn't know what I wanted to say. _Is she okay? Is she here to mess with Edward? Is she staying?_

"Don't worry." She gave my hand a quick squeeze, and I felt a rush of sympathy for her, having to be caught between her loyalty to her twin, and then her friendships with Edward and me. She so easily could've treated me like crap, but she never had. "They're just talking. Tanya hasn't been back since she left, so...I don't know." She rolled her eyes. "Anyway. What're you drinking today?"

I ordered one of the brews of the day, my eyes going to the hall I knew led to the office. Trusting Edward wasn't really an issue; he'd had Tanya and then he'd ended it. She was who skeeved me out. Why was she here? I knew they were "old friends" and all that bull, but...come on.

Edward appeared so quickly that I almost spilled my beer. He opened his mouth to say something, but then shook his head and came to me. "Hey, babe."

"Hi." I smiled up at him, wishing my heart would just calm down.

He bent toward me, kissing my mouth, surprising me somehow. We weren't that showy with our affections yet. I couldn't deny that a part of me was glad he did, though. Tanya was at the end of the bar now, talking with her sister. She glanced at me, and a look of such disgust came over her pretty face that I nearly cowered. But I didn't. Drama was not my thing, never had been. Instead, I looked back at Edward, who'd turned so that he was facing me, his knees hugging mine as we sat on our stools.

"Sorry about her," he muttered, looking down at our hands. I realized I'd grabbed his, maybe out of nerves. I started to untangle our fingers, but he held fast. "Don't."

"Okay," I whispered.

"So, I was gonna ask you over tonight, but it's looking like Maggie's sick, and now Irina has to bring Tanya back to the sea plane." He made a face.

"Tomorrow, maybe?"

He nodded. "When's your next day off?"

"Sunday." I always had Sundays off, but sometimes I lucked out and got a Saturday or Monday, too.

"You wanna go to Buck Island?"

"On Sunday?" I asked, already excited.

He nodded, grinning at my enthusiasm.

"Hell yeah!" I cried.

Chuckling, he took a swig of my beer. "Good. I'll let my boy Marcus know. It's his boat. Anyway, gotta get back to work. You sticking around?"

I eyed Tanya, who was on her phone now. "It depends."

"They're leaving in a minute," he said.

"Then, yeah."

"Good."

"Have him make you a Slippery Nipple," Tanya said suddenly. "No one does it like him."

I looked up, almost wanting to laugh at her brazen bullshit. "Thanks, but no," I said, making eye contact with her. "We have our own thing."

She shrugged and left, sauntering off down the boardwalk. Irina sighed loudly as she followed. "See you in a little while, guys."

Edward and I looked at each other. "Our own thing, huh?"

"What did she want, anyway? Just to talk?"

"Basically." He shrugged. "I think she thought...that it was like all the other times. I don't know."

"She was trying to get back with you?" I asked, aghast. "But...she left."

"Tanya's crazy, Bella. Even if you hadn't come along, I'd have been done with her. She's just...I don't know. Don't worry about her."

"I'm not worried...I'm just surprised she came."

"You're not the only one," he said, shaking his head.

* * *

Alice and Jasper were the last to leave.

We'd had a movie night up at Edward's, and a bunch of our friends had come over. Despite the fact it was a weekday, and we couldn't chill too late, it had been a lot of fun.

And now that we were alone again, I was in the mood for a different type of fun.

Guess Edward was on the same page, because he accosted me as I loaded the dishwasher. "Leave it..."

"Come on, I'm almost done," I said, cringing away from his neck kisses.

"Nope." He pulled on me, getting me to turn around, and then he kissed me good. "I'm not gonna stand here and suffer because you have a fetish for cleanliness."

I kissed him, running my hands up and under his shirt. "Mkay..."

In bed, our clothing came off quickly, the result of plenty of practice. Feeling frisky, I pushed Edward on to his back and yanked his boxers off, freeing his erection.

He grinned crookedly at me. "What're you gonna do with that?"

I kissed his knees, and then his thighs, and then I showed him just what I could do with that.

* * *

_**aaaand that's the last of tanya. guess girlfriend had to try. **_


	16. Contention

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**storyline - Brighter**_

_**prompt - contention, suspension**_

_**not beta'd**_

* * *

Friday found me exhausted at work, worn out after a night of play with Edward. This was why sleepovers on weeknights could be rough...he got up to drive me in to town, but then he got to go home and sleep, or relax, until the Pub opened.

I spent most of the day yawning and fantasizing about Edward's oral skills, to which I'd been introduced somewhere around three a.m. Talk about sweet...

"Hi, Bella," Siobhan giggled.

I straightened up, realizing I'd been staring out at the water for so long there were sparkly things behind my eyelids. Also, Siobhan giggled a lot.

"Hey," I said, smiling sheepishly as I returned to reality. "You've been trying to get my attention for awhile, haven't you?"

"Yes." She nodded, putting her bag down behind the counter. "It's two, so... you're free to go."

Instead of hanging out in town like I usually did after my shift ended, I shot Edward a text and headed home to catch up on emails and relax. I caught a taxi bus, something I only did on occasion, which dropped me off at the end of the road. I walked the rest of the way in, strolling slowly and enjoying the quiet of the day.

Pete had a date with Kate, which was interesting. He seemed to like her, and she was most certainly in to him. Apparently she came down every year around this time to visit her snowbird grandparents, and this time she'd stayed a little longer because of Pete.

"It's nothing serious," he said, when I asked.

I was sitting on the toilet lid, watching him shave over the bathroom sink.

"And she's cool with that?" I asked, genuinely curious.

"Well, yeah. She knows you and me just broke up...she thinks our arrangement is really friggin' weird by the way...she can't understand why there's not more contention between us."

"Because," I said, ever eloquent.

He chuckled, rinsing his razor before continuing. "Basically."

"She's not upset though, right?" I asked, not wanting to mess with whatever he had going. Maybe it was the guilt of being so ridiculously over the moon for Edward, and wanting to spend every free second I had with him. I just wanted Pete's last weeks on St. Croix to be fun and drama free. Which they probably were, because as he finished up, he glanced at me.

"She knows it's just sex."

I blinked. "Oh. Well." Didn't really need that visual, but hey.

"Just being real, Belly-bee," he said, making me think of Ty.

"Hey," I said, following him out of the bathroom. "Is he mad at me? Because sometimes he gives me funny looks when he sees me out."

"Nah, he just thinks it was lame Edward moved on you when you had a boyfriend."

"Oh." I bit my lip, unable to argue with that. "Well, it's not his business."

"I know it's not, but he thinks he's being loyal."

"And this is who you having 'watching out for me' after you leave?" I joked, folding my arms.

"Ah, come on. You have plenty of people to look out for you. And Tyler _does_ love you. He's just being...Ty."

"I guess." Honestly, I'd probably act the same with if Angela was in a similar position. We'd always been pretty protective of one another, as well.

Pete finished getting ready and took off, telling me not to expect him home. Kate had a beach front condo and, well...yeah.

I took a shower and repainted my toenails with a new color I'd gotten from a store in town. After fixing myself a salad, I worked through my emails and checked my Facebook, caching up with all that I'd missed stateside. As always, it was a study in contrasts, and some of it made me nostalgic: baby showers, engagements, job promotions...but there was also the crappy stuff, stuff that reminded me of the daily grind I'd once been a part of: job suspensions, weather complaints, being bogged down under studies...I blew my hair out of my face as I read the status updates of the people in my feed. I didn't miss that lifestyle _at all_.

Not that Crucian life was sun-showers and rainbow beaches all of the time. There was drama, crime and strife here, too. People still had to go to work, make deposits at the bank, bring their kids to school, and live life. It was just...sweetened up. For me, anyway. I glanced over the pages of some friends I'd made here. Alice, talking about sonograms. Pictures Laurie had taken at Coconuts, one of which I was tagged in. Ty, inviting everyone to his house for dominoes next Saturday.

A knock at the door startled me out of my life ponderings. I tugged my t-shirt down and peered out the window.

Edward.

Grinning, I opened the door. "Why aren't you at work?" I asked, hugging him.

"We were covered," he said, wrapping his arms around me as he kicked the door shut. "Plus, I saw Pete in town with that girl, so I figured you were home alone."

"You figured right."

"You down to chill, or are you just taking it easy tonight?"

"Both." I'd never turn down a chance to spend time with this man. Ever.

He ran his hands down, over my butt. "I thought about you a lot today..."

"Me too," I whispered, thinking of one thing in particular, something that had worked me in to a panting, hair pulling mess the night before.

Smiling, he backed me in to my bedroom. "I know it's a little late, but can I take you to dinner?"

"It's only eight," I said. "I'd love to."

"Then, get ready. I'll be with Jas."

"Okay." I pulled on one of my favorite dresses, a strappy little blue number I had yet to wear on St. Croix. Wedges, bangles on my wrists, earrings. I realized that I missed dressing up; we were so super casual all the time. Some gloss and a bit of glitter later, I grabbed my purse and met Edward next door, where he and Jasper were talking in the kitchen.

"Hey, Bella," Jasper said, giving me a little hug.

"Hi," I said, ruffling his wavy, blond hair. "What're you guys up to?"

"Nothing too exciting," he said, smiling through a yawn. "I was up before the sun, so...I'll probably turn in soon."

I nodded and looked at Edward. He wasn't one to hide when he was checking me out, and he made no pretense now, gaze lingering at my feet, legs, dress, and finally, my face.

"Wow."

I turned from him before I full-body-blushed. Alice was on the phone; she gave me a quick kiss and a thumbs up, pointing at my outfit.

"We're gonna head out," Edward said. He kissed Alice's cheek and gave Jasper a daps, promising he'd called someone about something. I didn't know; I was too distracted by how nice he looked.

I took his hand and followed him out to his truck, heart beating a little faster in anticipation of a night out with him. As much as we'd hung out, we'd never actually gone on a date like this. Not a dinner date.

"You look..." he said, turning the truck around in the driveway, "so good."

"Thank you," I said. "So do you."

"I like your bracelet things," he said, gesturing toward my bangles.

"Thanks," I laughed. "I haven't gotten much of a chance to dress up. I kinda miss it."

"We'll go out more," he promised, tangling his fingers with mine.

I'd thought we would return to town, but he surprised me by driving out to the North Shore. It was a pretty night drive, the way the road curved with the land, clinging to cliffs, up and down hills. I recognized it as the same road that brought us to Cane Bay, but it had been awhile since I'd been out here. We went to a restaurant right on the water called The Waves. It was built in such a way that we were _over_ the water, black waves crashing beneath us.

The moon reflected over the dark sea, and stars dripped from the sky, so clear they felt closer than they really were. There were places in Washington like this, where you could see the night sky, but you had to leave the city to do it.

Edward didn't exactly _need_ to romance me – I was already smitten – but being in a place like that, with him, talking over wine and steak, shrimp, then dessert...it was like he was seducing me all over again.

"I'm so full," I groaned, pushing away the last of my mousse.

"Me too." He kept on eating, though. "I love this stuff."

I smiled, watching him over the top of my wine glass. He had a smudge of chocolate over his lip, reminding me of the night we'd first kissed.

"You coming home with me?" he asked, sitting back and smiling lazily, knowing damn well I was.

"Nah. I'm tired." I said, shaking my head. "Thanks for dinner, though."

He flicked a tiny wad of paper at me. "I'm not bringing you home."

"I know," I said, standing. "I do need to use the bathroom before we go, though."

Our server was at the table when I returned, picking up the cheque. Edward signed his slip and stood up, nodding at me. "Ready?"

"Yeah." We left, hands clasped loosely between us. The hostess eyed Edward subtly as we passed by, and I bit back a smile, glad I could be open with my own perusal.

We drove quietly awhile, listening to a live Bob Marley album he'd downloaded recently.

"Wanna go to the beach?" Edward asked suddenly, looking at me.

"Now?" I asked, squinting out in to the dark, trying to figure out where we were. "Sure..."

He pulled off on to a a dirt road. We bumped and rumbled until we got to a gate, at which point Edward hopped out. I watched as he opened it, and then close it back after we'd driven through.

"Where are we?" I laughed.

"The Whitlock's estate."

"You mean Jasper's parents?"

"Yup." We came to a small clearing, where he cut the engine. "Beach is right there."

"Do they live around here, too?"

"No...but Jasper might build out here one day."

I slipped my shoes off and carried them in one hand while holding Edward's arm with the other. We stepped out on to a little beach, bracketed closely by rocks jutting out in to the sea.

"It's like, a private beach," I breathed, tossing my shoes aside. "Let me guess. Another make out spot."

"Only for the privileged few," he said, unbuttoning his shirt.

"Are we...skinny dipping?"

He nodded. I hadn't even noticed the towels he'd brought.

"Did you plan this?" I asked, amused, scrunching my toes in to the sand.

He nodded again, shrugging out of his shirt and starting on his belt. "Are you coming in, or do I have to carry you?"

I pulled my dress up over my head, dropping it down next to my shoes. My bangles were placed carefully on top, followed by my earrings...and then my underwear. When he was just as naked as me, we walked down to the water.

"Cold," I whisper-squealed, grabbing at Edward.

"Shit," he laughed. "It's freezing." Before I could wimp out, he pulled me in with him, submerging us both.

I gasped when I popped up, splashing him. "That was not necessary!"

"Yeah, it was. You would've stood there all night."

"No..."

He pulled me closer and wrapped my legs around his waist. I clung to his neck, kissing my way to his mouth, and after a while the chill of the water gave way to the warmth of our bodies. Our kisses grew deeper, longer, slow, and wet. He wrapped my hair around his hand, and I scratched my nails gently down his back, sighing when he nipped at my neck.

Our mouths found a rhythm, and then so did our bodies, moving in ways that betrayed what we really wanted. He was hard, and so close, and I knew that I would give myself to him. And I wanted everything he had to give me.

"I want you," I said, breaking away from his mouth.

He squeezed my behind, grinding me closer, letting me feel all of him. Then, holding me tight, he walked out of the water to the very edge of the shore, where the sand was packed and water ebbed. Gentling me down, he slid up between my legs and kissed me hard, pushing and teasing against me until I reached down to guide him.

I gasped once he was inside me because it was...so good. The best kind of good. He paused for a second, looking down at me with wide eyes, and then pushed even deeper. We kissed again, and again, until it was difficult to move the way we wanted and then he groaned and leaned back and went for it, sliding in and out of me with ease. I'd been wet for him all night, maybe knowing that this was it, the real point of no return...for me, anyway.

I moaned beneath him, whispering him closer, and he obliged, lining our bodies up and burying his face in my neck. "Feels so good," he whispered, his teeth grazing my skin.

"Mm." I held his face, kissing him again. "Yes..."

He thrust faster, and harder, and I brought my legs higher, embracing him that way, starting to feel overwhelmed with what we were doing. There was so much love, so much intensity. It had never been like this before.

Suddenly Edward slowed it down, dropping my legs. He worked his hips against me, rubbing me right where I needed it, in a place I usually had to touch if I wanted to come during sex, and I came with a cry, tightening inside and all over. Speeding up again, he went hard, resting his hands by my head as he finished.

My legs were wobbly after that, but I grabbed his face and kissed him, and he, panting, kissed me back, so that we were sharing our breaths.

"Did you plan that, too?" I sighed, running my fingers through his hair.

"Maybe," he said, smiling. He kissed the tip of my nose and pulled put.

I took the hand that he offered, letting him lead me back to the water, where we cleaned up, and kissed, and talked, and kissed.

Making love changed everything, but it also changed nothing...in the best way. There was no awkwardness, and really, I knew that there wouldn't have been. It was why I'd felt sure about going all the way with him.

And when we got back to his house and did it again, in that beautiful bed, I told him that I thought I was falling in love with him.

"Then promise me you'll stay," he said, kissing my ear. "Promise."

"I promise."

* * *

_**island in the sun - weezer**_

_**also, bella has been on birth control for years. this is a given. also, edward's clean. also, she and edward had that talk at some point, over frothy, ice cold Bahama Mamas, because they're responsible and this is fan fiction and everything is always great.**_

_**also, there will be no sand in bella's hibiscus nor on edward's banana. i've said it before and i'll say it again, if you're getting sand up there you're doing it wrong, baby loves.**_


	17. Snag

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**storyline - Brighter**_

_**prompt - snag**_

_**NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

I finger combed the knots out of my hair, glad I'd brought a bottle of my conditioner to Edward's the week before.

Humming to myself, I shut my eyes and let the lukewarm water run over me, rinsing my hair. Sun shone through the skylight, making me feel warm and golden.

I felt a breeze, and then hands on my stomach, my arms. Opening one eye, I saw Edward next to me, his bright eyes dark. He came closer, circling his arms around me, slippery conditioner and all.

"Morning," I said, my eyes fluttering shut as he rubbed his scruff against my cheek.

"Morning," he echoed, poking me with his dick.

Giggle-snorting, I reached down to grab it. "Not tired yet?"

"Never."

"Ha, yeah right."

"I'm serious."

"If we do it now we'll never get to the marina," I said, even though really I was mentally half way back to bed.

"We have all day," he said, running his hands down my wet hair.

We kissed for awhile, swaying beneath the water. Eventually I grabbed the soap and gave it to him. "Here. I'm getting out."

He took it, smacking my butt as I climbed out of the shower.

I quickly dried off and dressed in a bikini and sundress, making sure to snag the sunblock on my way to the bedroom so I could apply it _before_ leaving the house. Otherwise I'd forget, and Edward had said that the sun at Buck Island could be pretty unforgiving. I put it on, packed my beach bag, and went to the kitchen to round up snacks we could take along.

Remnants of our lazy breakfast littered the table: coffee cups, half eaten bagels and scrambled eggs. I cleaned it up, wanting Edward to have a tidy house to return to. He was generally pretty neat, but he procrastinated sometimes, and I had a feeling if I didn't take care of the poor kitchen, he'd let it go til Tuesday.

Edward was on the phone when I got back to his room, board shorts hang low on his hips, water dripping from his hair and down his golden brown back. Want tingled through me.

As if we hadn't just spent the weekend in and out of bed.

I trailed a finger down his spine. Our eyes met in the mirror above his dresser, and though he continued his conversation, I'd distracted him. He reached around, grabbing my dress, and brought me around so that we were face to face. I cupped his cheeks between my hands, glad he hadn't shaved. I loved the color of his beard, blondish red and just really delicious.

The weekdays could have their clean shaven bartender. This was _my_ time, and I had the beard rash on my inner thighs to prove it.

Edward balanced his phone against his shoulder and nudged me up on to the dresser, his hands drifting from my waist to my thighs. He parted my knees, tickling his fingertips up and down my thighs, making me laugh a little. I wanted him to get off the phone, but it sounded like he was discussing something for the Pub, detailing liquor orders and things.

I watched him as he spoke, and he watched me, his gaze darting between my mouth and eyes. I left a tiny kiss on his chin, and then another at the corner of his mouth.

He was listening to whomever was speaking on the other end of the line, but he was with me... I scratched my nails lightly up and down his chest, liking that I could, whenever I wanted. It had been frustrating before, seeing him, watching him be all yummy from afar.

But then he dragged me to the edge of the dresser and knelt down. He yanked one of the side ties on my bikini bottom, letting it fall open to reveal me.

"Ey, Paul. Lemme call you back," he said, a very slight accent coloring his words. It was so cute, and I only ever heard it when he spoke to people from here. Before I could openly gush over how much I liked how he spoke, though, he licked me.

"Mm..."

"Mm hm," he agreed, doing it again.

There was nothing sweet and romantic about this; he just wanted me to come. He probably wanted to come too... I groaned, falling back on to my elbows, letting my head rest against the mirror. It wouldn't take long...it felt too good...and for some reason naughty places made me come faster. Like this. Like now. Gasping, I bucked against his face before pushing him away. He stood up, wiped his mouth, pulled his shorts down, and plunged in to me, assuming a ridiculous tempo.

So hard he thrust the giggles right out of me. I loved it. It made me feel like I was still coming. A stack of papers that had been at the end of the dresser feel to the floor with a heavy smack. Several bottles of cologne and whatever else he used clanged and clattered against each other.

He grunted and leaned forward, stilling, his face tensed in such pleasure it could have been pain.

"Damn," he said, easing back, pulling me down. He leaned against the dresser, trying to catch his breath.

"Now I have to clean up again," I said, kissing him. My legs shook, my heart pounded.

Nodding, and looking rather smug, he shuffled along after me, pants still around his ankles.

* * *

Once word of our Buck Island day trip got out, everybody and their mother wanted in. Irina showed, as did Alice, Jasper and the girls. A small group of Edward's friends, some of whom I didn't know, came for the ride as well.

Edward's friend, Marcus, owned a beautiful catamaran. He and his brother ran their own business, where he took tourists on private charters to various islands, but he was taking a couple of weeks off. Edward didn't own a boat, but he knew how to sail, so Marcus had let him have the boat for the day.

"When did you learn to sail?" I asked, as we walked through the marina to where the boats were kept.

"Jasper's parents were members of the yacht club," he said. "We used to go there and sail during the summer...ninth grade, mostly."

"That's cool...have you ever gone anyplace far away?"

"Nah...I'm not that in to it. I've gone with friends, but never where I was in charge."

"Maybe one day we can go to...I don't know...the BVI? I've heard Jos Van Dyke is amazing."

"Oh, it is," he said, smirking. "It can get a little crazy, too. We should definitely go." He glanced briefly at me. "Maybe next summer."

I nodded. "For sure."

"Yeah?"

We'd reached the catamaran. I stopped, looking up at Edward. "Why do you seem so surprised?"

"I'm...not. It's just, sailing trips aren't for everyone. Even on nice boats like this one, you're still kind of roughing it."

I wrinkled my nose. "Do I really look like I'm afraid of _roughing it_?"

"Nope." He tossed our bags in to the boat and then turned to me, offering his hand to help me in.

"You have so much to learn about me," I murmured, pausing to take a couple of pictures. "I have things I want to learn about you, too."

"Stick around. You will."

"I plan to."

"I'll hold you to that."

"Hey." I put my camera down and grabbed him by the elbow. "I'm not going anywhere."

I couldn't see his eyes, as we were both wearing pretty dark sunglasses, but he grinned mischievously. "Aren't you going back to Seattle in a couple of weeks?"

"Yeah, smart ass – for a vacation," I said. How funny that_ this _had once been the vacation."For the holidays. Not for good."

He nodded, chuckling. "I'm just messing with you, Bella. I know.'

"Good. Now." I looked around the deck, hands on my hips. "What do you need me to do?"

* * *

The water was even more spectacular than it had been in the pictures.

I could see right down to the sand. Sunlight shimmered on the surface, sending prisms down deeper.

Once Edward let down the anchor, everyone began jumping off, swimming the short distance to shore. Jasper and Edward helped the girls down, and I went with Alice, who used the ladder to ease in carefully. We swam ashore and hiked around for awhile, taking on some of the little trails, and then returning to lay on the fine, hot sand.

Alice was good about sunscreen. And every time she corralled the littles in to reapply, I put more on myself as well. Edward hadn't been lying about how bright the sun was.

Eventually, Rachel and Leah started getting fussy, so we swam back to the boat with them so Alice could put them down for a nap. She found a shaded area, laid blankets and towels out, and settled down with them.

"I'm gonna go grab something to eat," I said, straightening out. "Yell if you need me."

She nodded, and I went to my bag, looking for one of the sandwiches I'd made. Edward pulled himself up the ladder, dripping water everywhere as he climbed.

"I was just coming to look for you," he said, wiping water from his face.

"I got hungry," I said, holding up a sandwich and chips. "Want one?"

"Yup." He joined me, wrapping himself in a towel before sitting down. We finished what I'd brought quickly, polishing it all off with a couple of beers.

The rest of the group came trickling in, talking loudly and making rum drinks as soon as they were back on board. Edward shifted over so that I could rest back against him, my back to his front.

"So you're the girl."

I looked up, shading my eyes. Edward's friend Jacob squatted down beside me, grinning. He had the whitest teeth I'd ever seen, and the megawatt grin to go with it. He was pretty hilarious actually, and had been entertaining us all day with his antics.

"Um...yeah," I said, glancing back at Edward, who just rolled his eyes. "Which girl?"

"The one who had Eddie here acting all moody and crazy."

I felt Edward nudge my hair aside and rest his chin on my shoulder.

"Yeah. Edward was pretty tore up about you. I get it now."

"All right, dude," Edward groaned, tossing an empty water bottle at his friend.

"What? She's beautiful," Jacob continued, either clueless to Edward's embarrassment or uncaring about it. "You're beautiful, Bella. If you ever need a tour..."

"She gets the tours, Jake."

Jacob waggled his eyebrows at me. "Like I said..."

"Well, thank you," I laughed, nodding. "I'm good for now, but I'll keep that in mind."

"I'll give you my number when we get back," he said, eyes sparkling in mischief.

Edward made like he was going to get up, and Jacob backed away, laughing merrily.

"Is he always like that?" I asked, amused.

"Always. Swear to God, I don't think I've ever seen him angry. Everything's a joke to him."

"Were you tore about me for real?" I asked, taking a sip of water.

"Nah...I had a feeling we'd end up together."

"You did?" I twisted around to look him.

He nodded.

"Hmm." I finished my water. "I think I knew, too."

* * *

_**thanks for the reviews, tweets & love guys.**_

_**there's a Facebook, btw. for my stories. sometimes i post pictures there (there are a bunch up for Brighter). my new banner, crafted by famouslyso, is there as well. i love it.**_


	18. Filter

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

**storyline: Brighter **

**prompt - filter**

**NOT BETA'D**

* * *

"How long will your parents be down?" I asked, looking through one of the albums in Edward's living room.

"They usually come down for about a month," he responded, resting his feet on the coffee table.

"Oh, nice. So they'll still be here when I get back."

"What are the dates again?"

"December twenty third to January second," I said, my heart sinking slightly. This was how it had been lately; mixed feelings every time I thought about leaving island. On one hand, I couldn't wait to see my parents and friends. On the other, I was going to miss Edward so badly. Plus, I'd heard that Christmas-time on St. Croix was amazing. I was definitely a little bummed I'd be missing out on some of the festivals and parades.

He nodded, resting his hands on his belly. "Okay. Morning flight, right?

"Yeah. You can drive me?"

"Of course."

"'Kay." I snuggled in to him, tucking my feet up under me. In the kitchen, the microwave beeped, letting us know the popcorn was ready.

"Hold on," Edward said, patting my leg. I let him get up, using the opportunity to check my phone. I'd heard a couple of texts come in moments before.

They were from Angela. She'd gotten us tickets to see the Nutcracker, as performed by the Pacific Northwest Ballet. I squealed in excitement, psyched she'd gotten us in. Not only had we both danced in our ballet studio's version of this back in elementary, but PNB's version featured sets and costumes by Maurice Sendak. We'd heard about it from a friend and had been obsessed with going ever since.

"What're you so happy about?" teased Edward, plopping down next to me. "I made kettle corn too, by the way." He settled both bowls between us on the couch.

"Ooh." I took a couple pieces of each. "I love kettle corn."

"Me too."

"So, Angela got us tickets to this ballet we both wanted to see..."

Grinning, he rested his head on the back of the couch. "That so...seems like something the two of you would do."

"It so is," I agreed, nodding happily. "Anyway, it's the Nutcracker, as performed by little kids...and it apparently has these amazing sets and just...I'm really excited."

"Alice takes the girls to see the Nutcracker, too. Caribbean Dance School puts it on every year."

"Really? That's so cool...maybe next year I'll go with them."

He nodded, watching me as he popped a couple of kernels in to his mouth.

I placed my phone on the table and sat back. "So are we watching this movie or not?"

"Yup." He grinned down at me, grabbed the remote, and pressed play.

* * *

I worked hard during the weeks leading up to my trip, even taking on a couple of wait shifts at the Brew Pub. Not only would I be unemployed during the holidays, but I'd be totally on my own upon returning to St. Croix, so it was important I get my money in order ahead of time. I'd never had to ask my parents for help when it came to rent and stuff, and I didn't want to have to resort to it now.

Kate left island about a week before Pete and I did. He didn't seem too sad to see her go, saying she'd gotten a little finicky toward the end, always whining about what was wrong with St. Croix.

"I might not want to live here, but it's still a cool place," he said one night, making a face as he told me the story.

Shrugging, I placed the last of the dishes on our drainer and wiped my hands. "It's just not for everyone."

"I appreciate that you want to be nice, Bella, but no. She's just... way too caught up. High maintenance."

I'd kind of gotten that impression the few times Kate and I had met. "Yeah, I know."

"So. You ready for the cold?" he teased, poking me.

"Not really," I laughed. "I feel like my blood got thinner, living down here."

"No kidding. We're about to freeze our asses off. My brother said there were flurries last night."

I shivered just thinking about it. "Lucky for me, it's temporary."

He tugged my hair, earning a hearty smack on the arm. "Yeah, yeah. No need to rub it in."

The next morning, I drove him to the airport. After breaking up, we'd agreed that it wasn't necessary to fly back together. I'd kind of wanted to wait until the last minute to return to the states, whereas he had a couple of family obligations to get back to.

What I didn't expect was the lump in my throat I got when we said goodbye on the curbside.

"I guess this is it," he said, smiling sadly.

Swallowing hard, I hugged him tight. "I'll miss you, Peter."

"Me too." He held me for a minute before kissing my hair and letting go.

"Thanks for bringing me here," I whispered, biting my lip. My vision blurred, and I ducked my head to blink the tears away.

He nodded, picking up his bags. "Take care of yourself. I'll see you when you get back, okay?"

"Okay. Safe flight."

He quickly kissed my cheek and then disappeared in to the crowd. I stood still for a minute, feeling like the last thing connecting me to my old life had snapped, leaving me untethered.

Then a taxi man blared his horn at me, startling me from my schmaltzy episode.

"Miss. Miss! You got to move!" he called, waving at me.

"Sorry, sorry," I mumbled, getting back into the car.

* * *

Irina set a big bowl of pineapple down in front of me.

I eyed her questioningly. "Thanks?"

"It makes you taste good," she said, flipping her hair over her shoulder. "You know; down there."

I snorted, taking a bite. "Oh yeah? Where'd you hear that?"

"This story I read. It was in Cosmo, too."

"Oh, well then. Must be gospel."

"It is, girl. Eat up."

"I'm touched you're so concerned about what my _down there_ tastes like, Rina." This pineapple was so juicy and fresh, though, I had to admit. All I'd had for the day was raisin bread and coffee during my shift at Coconuts, and I was starving.

"Well. We all know you and Edward were doing a little more than the numbers in the office last night," she said, arching an eyebrow.

"You really have no verbal filter, do you?" I asked, absolutely mortified. I focused on my fruit, feeling my face turn the color of the poinciana clusters dotting the bar. "Cheese and bread."

"Eat your pineapple," she said, going to help a customer.

A couple of minutes later Edward walked in. I sighed inwardly, my heart quickening. It didn't matter that I'd just seen him that morning; I was always so glad to be around him. He flipped his sunglasses up onto his head and came over to me, kissing me as he sat down.

"Hi. Working tonight?"

"Yeah...they put me on the schedule."

"Good." He smiled, nodding as his eyes fell to my snack. "That looks good."

Irina set a bowl down in front of him. "Here ya go."

"Oh...I'm okay. I just ate."

"Just eat it," she said, smiling sweetly.

"You need a boyfriend," I told her, shaking my head.

"I don't need a boyfriend," she said. "I have Tyler."

I tried not to choke on my pineapple.

* * *

He was acting distant. For sure.

I frowned, watching Edward get ready for bed, his mind a million miles away. We'd both taken Friday off, since I was leaving the next day, and I'd noticed that, as the day wore on, he'd grown more and more quiet.

I felt so messed up inside...nervous he was withdrawing from me. Sad because we weren't on the same page. Pissed off and resentful he was making such a big deal out of me leaving for a week and a half.

But when he finally got in to bed and reached to turn the TV on, I'd had it. I went in to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of water, and then went to the patio.

The stars twinkled peacefully. Way up here, on this hill, it was quiet save the wind and the trees. I'd miss that for sure.

He joined me eventually, like I knew he would.

"What are you doing out here?" he asked, running his hands through his hair.

I shrugged, setting my glass down.

He stared at me for a second, then turned like he was going back inside.

"Hey," I said, annoyed. "Would you just...stop it?"

"Stop what," he said with a sigh, like he knew.

"I've given you no reason not to trust me, and you're...you're making me feel really shitty about leaving, Edward. I'm going home to see my parents. I miss them. They miss me. We're not used to being so far apart."

He stood still, just listening.

"You're...I feel like you're pushing me away and I hate it," I said, my voice starting to shake.

"I know. I'm sorry," he said, coming to me.

I stood up, wrapping my arms around him. "Don't make this more than what it is. If you could come with me, I'd love it, but you can't. Right?"

He shook his head, face pressed against my hair.

"Did someone leave you?" I asked, finally giving voice to what I'd sometimes wondered. "Someone you loved?"

"A couple someones," he said quietly. "It happens."

"Well I'm not someone," I said, holding him tightly. "I'd stay even if you weren't here...first of all. And second, now that I'm with you...I'd probably follow you even if you left."

It was like the tension in his body melted, just like that. I felt him smile, and then he held me away, gazing down at me.

"Do you believe me?" I asked, rubbing his arms.

"Yup."

"Good."

He picked up my glass of water and led me back inside, where we turned off the kitchen light and returned to bed. I confirmed my flight on my phone, and made sure my alarm was set. Jessica had sent me an excited text, saying she couldn't wait to see me, so I responded in kind, making sure she knew what time I'd be back.

When I put my phone down, I realized Edward had been watching me. I yawned and cuddled down under the covers."What?" I whispered, scooting closer.

Pulling me on top of him, he rested his hands on my hips. I gazed down at him, my heart so fluttery, and so full. He tugged me down by my tank top, kissing my mouth as soon as I was close enough.

"Love you, Bella."

I smiled so hard my eyes teared up. "I love you, too."

* * *

_**the Facebook group is a secret one; "Rochelle Allison's Fic Spot". if you dm me your FB name, I can add you as a friend and then add you to the group. no biggie. the Lemonade Stand girls actually made it for me, for my birthday. love!**_

_**xoxo**_


	19. Messy

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**storyline: Brighter**_

_**prompt - messy**_

_**NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

Normally I had a rough time sleeping on planes, but this time I dropped off twenty minutes in. After a connection in Dallas, I continued on to Seattle. It didn't escape my notice that the sky grew grayer, and the air cooler, as we flew westward.

Admittedly, my excitement to get home and see friends and family was tempered by having to say goodbye to Edward, but I tried not to focus on it too much. I wanted to have a good time, and to enjoy myself as much as I could. And besides, wasn't absence supposed to make the heart grow fonder?

I'd told Edward that at the airport. He'd just rolled his eyes, giving me a kiss.

Our morning had been quiet, but not tense. Thankfully, all that had been washed away the night before with a little bit of talking and a lot of sexy times.

I made a mental note to visit Victoria's Secret at the mall, stock up on new panties. That was always fun. Plus I could find some stuff for Irina. She was always lamenting over the lack of selection on St. Croix while thumbing through her catalogs. I couldn't count the amount of times Edward had found one of her Victoria's Secret catalogs on top of the bar, having to stash it before a customer saw it.

The captain made his announcement, reminding me of my flight down to St. Croix with Pete, just four months before. Had it really only been _four months_? One one hand, the time had flown by. But on the other, so much had happened. I felt like...years worth of changes and epiphanies had been funneled in to it.

My ears popped, and I realized with a sigh I'd forgotten my gum. I yawned and plugged my ears, trying to get them to self-pressurize as we descended gradually, breaking through the cloud cover until I could see my home.

Only, it didn't quite feel like home, not the way it had before when Pete and I would return from abroad. Now I felt caught in the middle, adrift between two lands, both tugging equally at my heart.

But then we landed, and I turned my phone back on. A picture I'd taken just that morning, of Edward and me, hair morning messy and smiles lazy, popped up.

There was nothing equal about it: the pull of St. Croix was intense.

It was named Edward.

* * *

I took a picture of baggage claim and texted it to Edward.

_Here's where I am. Miss you._

He texted back almost right away, with a picture of the desk in the Pub's office. _Here's me. Miss you too._

Warmed by the contact, I put my phone back in my purse and waited for my suitcase to make its way around on the carousel.

"Baby!"

My mother's voice cut through the din, making me smile as I turned around. She caught me in a hug way bigger than her petite frame looked capable of. "Oh my goodness, Bell." Her voice caught as I hugged her back, twice as tight.

"Mom," I said, kissing her cheek. "Hey..."

"I have missed you so, so badly." She pouted, trying not to cry, I could tell. "I'm a little jealous, though, too. Look at your tan!"

Laughing, I nodded. I'd been layering as the weather turned cooler, and now that I was home I had a light coat on, but I knew my face and hands were a deep gold, a far cry from the ivory skin tone I'd left Washington with. "Hey...did Dad come?"

"Of course. He's just driving, though. You know how he is; too cheap to pay for parking. He'll grab us out front."

"Okay, that's good. Lemme just grab my bags..."

We chatted as we waited, catching up a little. She told me about my father's semi-retirement, and how he'd been going fishing back in Forks –the town where I'd been born, and where we still had family –with his friends. I told her all about the Boardwalk in Christiansted...Coconuts, the dive shop, and the Brew Pub.

My mother's eyes glittered knowingly. "Mhm. Yes. I've seen your pictures on the internet, Bell. Beautiful, beautiful. I told Daddy we should've gone down there for Christmas but he wasn't having that."

My stomach flipped at the thought. _Would've been nice..._

"Maybe next year," I said, grabbing my bulky suitcase off of the conveyor belt.

"Next year? You really are serious about staying," she said, helping me lug my bag.

"Yeah, I am. I love it, Mom. You would, too. I could so see you there."

She nodded. "We went to the Caribbean once. On a cruise. With your Uncle Mark and Aunt Mindy... the Bahamas. Gorgeous. Gorgeous! Of course, Mark drank too much and..."

I smiled, listening to her ramble as we stepped out in to the brisk afternoon. _Holy crap, it's cold!_ Frowning, I zipped my coat and rooted around my carryon, looking for the scarf and mittens I'd had the foresight to pack.

"...Edward?"

My head snapped up. "What?"

"That's his name, isn't it? Your new boy-toy?"

"Ugh, Mom..." I grimaced. "You make me sound like a cougar hunting for fresh meat. Edward is my boy_friend_, not my boy-toy."

"You never told me what happened with Peter," she said, squinting as she scanned the chaos of cars outside of arrivals.

"Yes, I did."

"There's your father," she said, waving frantically. "And all you told me was that you two broke up. And that it was okay." She sounded a little skeptical, but I couldn't blame her. My split with Pete had been remarkably amicable.

"It _was_ okay. We realized we just weren't in love with each other...but we really care about each other and I know he's always going to be in my life. Just not like before."

"And Edward had nothing to do with it?" she asked, smiling slyly.

My father jumped out of our old station wagon, rubbing his hands. "Bella, girl!"

I ran in to his arms, burying my face in to his chest, his comforting, familiar smells. Old Spice, detergent, and just...Charlie Swan. "Hi, Daddy."

"Thought we'd never get you back," he teased, taking my suitcase.

I bit my lip, watching him and my mother wrangle my things in to the trunk. Another picture: of the my parent;s ancient car, and another text.

_Here's what I see...Charlie and Renee, my mom and dad. _

* * *

I sent Edward pictures of all the things I hoped to show him in person one day.

The outside of my house. The way my street looked, wet and lined with now-naked trees. My childhood bedroom, which I hadn't lived in since high school.

I was going to have to go back to my apartment with Peter to send the remainder of my stuff back to St. Croix. I'd already exchanged addresses with Alice, so she and Jasper could receive the boxes as they came.

Edward sent me pictures and messages, too. Drinks he promised to make me when I got back.

_Lemon drop. I'll put extra sugar on the rim for you._

_Bellini. Sounds like your name._

_Sidecar. Just so I can get you drunk._

Christmas morning, I awoke to the smell of bacon, coffee and pancakes. Stretching, I lay still for awhile, enjoying the peaceful quiet. I grabbed my phone to call Edward, glad he was four hours ahead so that I wouldn't be waking him up. He'd already texted me.

_Merry christmas, Bella. Call me._

Grinning, I dialed his number.

"Hey," he said. I could hear him smiling, feel it. "I was just thinking about you."

"Oh yeah? Merry Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas," he laughed. I could hear music in the background, and voices.

"What are you up to?"

"Hanging out with my parents. It's funny you're calling actually...my mom was just asking about you."

"What did she say?"

"She saw that picture...you know the one of us at Buck Island..."

Warmth filled my belly. I loved knowing that there was a picture of the two of us on his fridge now, that I was represented in his life that way. "I love that picture."

"Yeah. Me too."

We chatted awhile longer, until there was a soft knock on my door. "Baby?"

"Come in, Mom," I called. "Edward, I should go..."

"All right. Thanks for calling..."

"Of course. I miss you."

"Miss you too."

I turned from my mom, who was watching and listening shamelessly, with a goofy smile on her face. "Love you." It still made me all nervous and gooey to say it, but I just had to, especially on Christmas morning.

"Love you too, Bella."

* * *

The next day I gave Pete a call. We met at one of our favorite coffee shops for breakfast and coffee.

"You're already losing your tan," I teased.

"So are you," he shot back, grinning.

It was easy to fall in to our old patterns, even though the dynamic of our relationship had shifted back to platonic. Or something. I supposed it was a brand new thing, after all, seeing that we did have...knowledge of one another. Things felt okay, though. Good.

After eating, I followed him back to the apartment we'd once shared. Bittersweet, indeed. I remembered choosing this place, decorating and dwelling in it. The get togethers we'd had, the late night studying.

"Let me get those," Pete said, reaching for the flattened boxes I'd brought to pack up my stuff.

Inside, things looked the same. A little messy, since Pete had been living there by himself. I wandered around the different rooms, feeling a little sentimental. This would most likely be my last time there.

I packed as quickly and efficiently as I could, trying not to get distracted by memories as I went through my possessions. There were many things I no longer wanted or needed, and I put them aside, in a box for the Goodwill.

I taped the boxes shut, grabbed a Sharpie from the kitchen, and scrawled Alice's address on top.

Eventually I was finished. It was odd, the feeling of relief. As if I'd made another definitive step in to my future. Pete helped me carry my boxes down to the car while telling me about some of the parties and things going on.

"I don't know...I'm feeling kind of..."

"Anti-social?" He guessed, smirking. "Missing your bartender?"

"Shush, Peter." He was right, though, and he knew it. "Anyway, Angie and I are going to the ballet tomorrow night."

He chuckled, enveloping me in a hug. I'd miss him. "Drive safely, Belly-bee. Call me if you need anything."

"I will."

Not wanting to put it off, I drove straight to the post office and sent my boxes. I took a a picture of the pile as the postal worker behind the counter helped me. I had a feeling Edward would appreciate this text in particular...

_That's my stuff. It'll be in stx even before I am._

My mother met me at the door when I got home. "Baby, you've got to see this."

I was a little exhausted from my whirlwind of packing and sending, but I followed her to the kitchen, peeling my mittens off as I went.

On the table sat a stack of postcards. My heart fluttered. I picked one up, smiling when I saw the bright yellow fort in town, Fort Christian. It was a historic building.

Edward's handwriting on the back: _miss you_

Another postcard, this time of the Frederiksted pier. _We're jumping off this the minute you get back._

Lump in my throat, hands shaking, I went through the rest of the postcards, unable to believe he'd actually done this. That he'd...thought about me, and then thought about this. Every card had a different note, and every one made me love him a little more.

My mother sat beside me, murmuring quietly at how lovely the island was, and how much she wanted to visit. She rested her hand over mine.

"He's a keeper, baby."

"I know."

I took out my phone and snapped a photo of the postcards all over my kitchen table.

_Here's what I see. I cant wait to get back._

* * *

**_i am still adding people to the FB group, but if you don't get added within another day or 2, just message me again. ;)_**

**_xoxo_**


	20. Rainy Day Blues

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**story - Brighter**_

_**Word Prompt: Bag**_

_**Plot Generator—Binding Blurb: In 500 words or fewer, write a blurb or a short entry on rainy day blues.**_

_**Not Beta'd**_

* * *

Besides the fact that I was always cold, readjusting to life in the states was pretty easy. Surprisingly so, in fact. By the time my trip home was a couple of days from being over, I felt almost as if I'd never left.

Like St. Croix had been a dream.

The stack of personalized postcards Edward had sent me, though, proved that my island life was very real, or a dream I got to live in...and never wake up, if I didn't want to.

He and I had kept up our texting, exchanging words and pictures sometimes as often as every couple of hours. I'd sent him a ton, ranging from the interesting to the most mundane...

_Garbage pickup. Ok, so I don't miss taking the trash to the dump._

_My dad's sweet potato casserole._

_The star stickers I put on my bedpost when I was 9._

_my cousin's baby, seth._

_...seth's foot._

_The Space Needle._

_My favorite coffee at my favorite place..._

Some of Edward's were dull, too, but because it was what he was doing, I felt it right down in my heart anyway.

_Paperwork_

_Irina's catalogs. Again. :/_

_your empty barstool_

_my empty shower...not as much fun when i'm by myself in there_

_my empty bed_

That last one had been from just a couple of hours earlier. I bit my lip, thinking of his sleeping-face...of his sexy face...his coming face... The ache in my heart only intensified. I had just two days left. I could do this.

Sighing, I dropped my phone on to the pillow beside me and pulled the curtain aside. Outside, the sky was overcast, heavy with clouds and gloom. I loved rain, but not when it was constant. Not when I'd become spoiled by sunshine. I sent Edward a picture of the weather through the window.

_Trying to ward off these rainy day blues :(_

His reply was prompt: _raining here too. _A picture of the supermarket we frequented popped up, its parking lot wet with puddles. Normally he'd be at the Pub right now. He was probably buying stuff for work.

_Stocking up? _I texted.

_Yup. New year's is always crazy in town. Pub'll be packed._

I regretted now, more than ever, that I'd made my reservations to return on the second of January. At the time, Edward and I hadn't been as serious, and I'd missed Seattle, the girls and my family. One week hadn't felt like long enough.

But now I'd gotten all of that out of my system, and I wanted nothing more than to ring in the New Year with the person I loved. Honestly, I didn't really have the money to be act impulsively... but the past six months had taught me that sometimes, spontaneity really paid off.

I got online and started poking around, looking at possible flights.

* * *

"You're sure?" My mother pouted, key poised at the front door. "You know you could always stay with me and Daddy if going out tonight just isn't your thing..."

It was barely four a.m., still dark out, because the only way I could get back to the islands was by leaving at the butt crack of dawn. My mother was a saint for driving me; she couldn't bear to send me off in a taxi or shuttle.

"Mom, I've already changed my ticket." I laughed through a yawn. "And it wasn't cheap. Trust me, I'm sure."

Sighing dramatically, she nodded. "The things we do for love..."

Yeah, my father hadn't been too happy the day before when I'd announced the change of plans. He'd huffed and he'd puffed, accusing me of being impetuous, of throwing my money away for some boy. But Renee Swan, protector of all that is romantic and destined, had totally come to my rescue, shoving my postcards in his face. Even he had to admit that Edward seemed pretty genuine and maybe, just maybe, worth his only daughter's devotion. The three of us ended up at our favorite restaurant for dinner, where I made them promise to come and visit me sooner than later, despite Charlie's grumbling about the price of plane tickets.

Before leaving, I took several pictures: my breakfast of cereal and coffee, a random shot of our backyard, a book I'd picked up at the store. I planned to send them at intervals throughout the day, to cement in to Edward's mind that I was still in Seattle. He had no reason to think otherwise; my plan to come back a day early was a secret to everyone on island. I felt bad tricking him, but knew that the surprise would be worth it.

My resolve nearly wavered when I sent my "good morning" text, along with the picture of my frosted flakes. _Just one more day! _I wrote. _Miss you!_

He took a while to get back to me, but when he did, I nearly cried. _This should be us right now_.The picture was of a touristy looking couple, a cute redhead and her guy, cuddly and kissing as they shared drinks and snacks at the bar. It looked like Edward had taken it from the office, where they wouldn't see him creepily taking their picture.

_I know. :( I miss you too. Also, you're a creeper. Put your phone away b4 they catch you._

_Wish I was creepin on you ;)_

_me too... 3_

"Which airline again, baby? American?"

"Yeah." I glanced up from the phone, realizing we'd turned on to the airport exit. The morning's drizzle had abated, leaving behind a wet cold.

_Gotta go help mom with laundry, _I lied, returning my phone to its place in my travel bag.

"I hate that you're so far away, but..." My mother sighed, taking my now free hand. "It makes me really glad that you've found your happy place down there. I will be coming to see you as soon as I can, with or without your father."

"Good," I said, giving her hand a squeeze. "I have so much to show you."

"I know it. Those pictures you're always posting don't do it justice, I bet."

"They don't," I agreed. "And...it's not even just that stuff. I mean, yeah, St. Croix is gorgeous but...it's the other stuff too. The lifestyle. Even the stuff that's a pain in the ass. It's worth it, you know? Laid back, low key. I feel like people appreciate everything more, and they waste a lot less."

She nodded, pulling up to the curb. "Well, just keep in touch. I know you're busy, but you're all I've got besides Charlie."

Jeez, my life was just one good bye after another lately. Fighting back tears, I stretched over the console and hugged my mother tightly. "I love you, Mom."

"Love you too, baby."

A TSA officer materialized outside of the car and gave us the stink eye, so we hopped out and hurried to get my suitcase from the trunk. I hugged my mom once more, and then she was gone.

A tiny piece of me felt the sadness of leaving my place of birth, and the people that had raised me.

But most of me was just excited to get back to the place I now thought of as home.

The flight from Seattle to Chicago was bumpy. It was kind of trippy, being in Edward's birthplace without him, even if just for a layover. Maybe we'd visit one day, together.

The flight to St. Croix wasn't that much calmer. I couldn't sleep, partly from the turbulence, but also because I was excited. Anticipation bubbled up through me like I was carbonated.

I reached around five o clock in the afternoon; it was the last incoming flight of the day for American. Because of my last minute switch, I'd had to change planes in Puerto Rico as well.

My travel exhaustion paled in comparison to the giddiness I felt at knowing I would be seeing Edward soon, and the second I had my suitcases, I hailed a taxi. The driver and I made small talk as we drove the twenty minutes to my neighborhood. I turned my phone back on and checked my messages, surprised to see a recent picture text from Irina.

It was a photo _of_ Edward, sitting at the bar, a bottle of beer between his hands. He looked...kind of pathetic, actually. My heart swelled in love and sympathy. Irina had written "_pobrecito"- _poor guy.

Indeed.

It took everything I had not to text her back and confess my plans.

The taxi man helped me in to the house, setting my stuff down just inside the door. I tipped him extra, since it was the holidays and all, and ran to my room for my car keys. They were on the little table I used as a night stand, right were I'd left them.

I was about to sprint out the door when I caught sight of myself in the mirror leaning against the wall.

_Oh girl...that is not cute. _I looked like I'd been hit by a bus. Yikes. As tempting as it was to go to Edward right away, I had time. It was only six.

I rushed through a shower and lotioned myself up with stuff I knew Edward loved. After wrangling a pair of cute new panties from my suitcase, I got dressed, choosing a strapless pink dress. Casual, pretty and very romantic.

Fifteen minutes later, I'd found a parking space in Christiansted. I grabbed my purse and locked up, taking a deep, grateful breath. There was a cool, damp breeze blowing off of the harbor, but after winter in Seattle, it felt downright balmy.

Town was stunning, a twinkling festival of Christmas lights and decorations. It looked a lot more crowded than usual, and I knew that by midnight it would be jam-packed. I started seeing people I knew, some of whom remembered I'd been away. We chatted a bit, but I was anxious to get to the Brew Pub, so I extracted myself as politely as possible and kept walking.

I saw Irina first. She and Maggie were behind the bar, already busy at work. Another, smaller bar had been set up nearer to the boardwalk, and behind that one I saw Emmett's girlfriend, Rose.

Edward sat at the bar, his back to me. It looked like he was still nursing that beer...or maybe it was a new one. I didn't know.

Plucking my phone from my purse, I snapped a picture of his back, and sent it to him, writing _here's what I see._

I watched as he checked his phone, and then slid off his barstool, turning around to search for me.

Our eyes met. He shook his head, and the utterly breathtaking smile on his face was worth everything. I went to him, grinning so hard it hurt.

He swept me up, holding me tightly, his face buried in my neck. He smelled like a brewery, and I loved him even more.

"Guess I have someone to kiss at midnight," he said, looking a little tipsy as he held me away.

Nodding, I held his face. "You have someone to kiss now."

We kissed. I'd missed his mouth. I'd missed a lot of things.

He broke away and kissed my ear, nipping it. "No more trips without me."

I gazed up at him, nodding.

Somewhere behind us, I heard Irina. "Your beer is ready when you are, Bella. You've got catching up to do!"

* * *

_**...i see your grand gesture and raise you another, thought bella...**_


	21. I like to

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization. **_

_**storyline: Brighter **_

_**prompt - Dialogue Flex: "I like to keep my options open," he said. **_

_**NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

I sat on top of the bar, legs wrapped around Edward as we surveyed the scene in front of us. We'd settled there about a half hour before, when my insanely long day of travel started to catch up with me and I couldn't stop the yawns. Maggie had given me a Red Bull from her secret stash, and I was almost done with it, waiting to catch my second wind.

Meanwhile, Edward was laughing so hard that _my_ body trembled from it. Things had gotten rowdier as the night went on, and now two of his boys, Jacob and Paul, were acting the fool, dancing like drunk tourists. Or so they said. I cringed, imagining them making fun of how _I_ danced. After all, hadn't I been a tourist up until recently?

But...it was pretty funny. Jacob grabbed Irina, pulling her to his chest so he could work up on her from behind, like actors a cheesy dirty dancing video. A little lit herself, Irina played along, making faces and pushing back against him. Then they continued dancing, and I started wondering how much of their flirting was a joke.

Edward had sobered up a lot, and I'd gotten a bit tipsy, so now we were somewhat on the same page. Coming back to St. Croix to spend New Year's this way, with him, was the best decision I could have made. He kept looking at me, smiling, making me burn with all kinds of love.

The music cut out and the DJ jumped on the mike. "All right, everyone! Thirty seconds to go!"

Everyone . Edward turned so that he was facing me, hands rested on my thighs. I pushed his hair from his forehead; we were both a little sweaty. I held his face, brushing my thumbs over his cheeks, feeling a the beginnings of stubble. I'd missed him so much. How did people do this? How did they bear it? I felt so needy inside, like every drink of him left me thirstier.

"Ten! Nine! Eight..."

We yelled along, pressing closer.

"...one! Happy New Year!" The Pub erupted in merriment, confetti and noise makers.

Edward slid his hand behind my neck, urging me close, and kissed me, sweeping his tongue in to my mouth for a kiss that made the others of the evening feel PG. I tightened my legs around him, holding him as close as I could, giving him back all that he gave me until we were full on, tacky, making out in the middle of everything.

But then reality brought us back, in the form of freezing, cold liquid. I broke away from Edward's mouth with a soft gasp, arching away from the champagne Jacob was spritzing all over the bar, grinning gleefully as people shrieked and shoved. I kissed a drop off of Edward's cheek and let him help me down off the bar, which was slippery and kind of gross now. I'd just slipped my flip flops back on when the first firework erupted, showering the night in technicolor. They came rapidly after that, sparkling over the harbor, shot from a boat anchored further out.

Auld Lang Syne came on as we joined our friends on the boardwalk, and we sang along, silly with laughter.

* * *

"So, every year, huh?"

"Yup." Edward turned off the main road. We were one in a long line of vehicles headed out to Grassy Point, the rocky little peninsula where countless generations of Cruzans had watched the first sunrise of the year.

"Ever miss one?"

He wrinkled his brow, thinking. "Well...not really. One year I passed out in the back of Jasper's car. Guess I missed it that year."

I smiled, imagining. Edward certainly liked to enjoy himself, but he seemed to have outgrown his party animal days...which was funny, considering he was a bartender. He was quite responsible now, but I wondered what he'd been like back in the day, drunk and stupid with his teenage friends. I probably would've had a crush on him back then, too.

"What do you guys usually do?" he asked. "Up in Seattle?"

"House parties when we were younger...bars or lounges when I turned twenty one."

"That wasn't too long ago," he said, smirking.

"No, it wasn't." I smiled, shrugging. "But...I may have had a fake ID at one point."

"Ooh, so Bella Swan's a bad girl."

"Sometimes," I said, side eyeing him.

"Don't even start," he warned, sliding his hand from my knee to my bare thigh. "It's been two long weeks and I will pull over right here."

"Nine days," I corrected, putting my hand over his.

"You stopping me or encouraging me?" he asked, squeezing.

"I don't know," I said, suddenly really turned on. I'd had some of the champagne Jacob hadn't gotten to, and it was making everything ultra bright and sensitive, in a good way.

The car in front of us paused, bright brake lights jarring me back to where we were. "Maybe we shouldn't..."

"Okay." He sounded a little strained, but he moved his hand to the gear shift.

"I mean, I want to –"

"Bella," he groaned.

"We have all day and all tomorrow night and all the day after that," I rambled, resisting the urge to just climb in to his lap.

"Yes, we do."

"And we don't have plans, right?"

"I like to keep my options open," he said. "As long as they include you."

"Such a charmer," I snorted. "With those player type lines..."

"I'm not," he laughed. "I don't know why you always say that."

"Because. You're gorgeous."

"That's such a double standard."

I arched an eyebow. "How so?"

"Because _you're_ gorgeous, too, but that doesn't automatically make you 'a player' ...and if I assume that you are one_._..that's like calling you a slut." He gave me his version of the side eye. "You callin' me a slut?"

"I don't know, are you?"

He shoved his hand up, squeezing my inner thigh –which he _knew_ was a majorly ticklish spot. I squealed, wrenching my leg away and scooting over so he couldn't reach me.

The road ended and we emerged out in to an open area, where countless cars were already parking. Up beyond that, I could see people trailing toward the Point, carrying blankets, bags and coolers.

Edward tossed me a hoodie, which was so huge it nearly covered my dress. I knotted my hair in to a bun and stepped out out of the truck, nearly bowled over by the wind. All around us, the ocean crashed, invisible in the blackness. Edward took my hand and we joined the others.

On the Point, Irina and a couple of her girlfriends had set up a thick blanket. We sat with them, and soon were surrounded by everyone else: my friends, Edward's friends, friends of friends. The night was clear and starry, and it was impossible to tell where in the distance the sky met the ocean.

We took pictures, ate junk food, and sang the songs that drove us nuts on the radio, the ones we heard day in and day out on the boardwalk. My friends back in Seattle were right in the thick of their own celebrations, and I got a couple of texts from Angela and Jessica, complete with pictures. Mild nostalgia fluttered through me, but I felt so good about where I'd chosen to be. I took a picture of Edward and me, and sent it back to the girls.

After a while, the sky began to lighten. At first, it was so gradual that it was nearly imperceptible, but as the minutes ticked by it gathered speed until the first sun rays of morning peeked over the horizon. I couldn't remember the last time I'd watched the sun rise, and even if I could have, I doubted it had felt quite like this: golden, stunning, like I was being given a gift.

Silence fell, like this was too sacred to interrupt.

I snapped a picture of it to post later: _First sunrise of the year._

* * *

"I'm so tired," I mumbled, my eyes closing.

"I know, so'm I. Let's just..." Edward yawned. "...wait until everyone leaves so we don't get stuck in traffic."

"Traffic," I echoed, giggling. I was so drunk with tiredness that everything was hysterical. "There were like twenty cars here."

"Fifty," he said, cuddling closer.

Irina had left us her blanket and we were cocooned in it. The day grew warmer as the sun rose higher, and soon we wouldn't need it. For now, though, it felt awesome.

"We're gonna fall asleep up here," I said, yawning.

"Hey..."

I opened my eyes and peered at him.

His fingers tickled up my legs, pushing their way between my thighs.

Smiling sleepily, I opened up, not bothering to play coy.

We kissed, pushing closer to each other.

"Are you sure they're all gone?" I whispered, wondering if he could hear me above the wind.

He sat up, looking toward the parking area, and then laid back down. "My truck's alone down there."

Nodding, I drew him closer, pulling him on top of me. More kisses, touches. He pushed his hips against mine.

"Circle circle dot dot, now you've found my cootie spot," I giggled deliriously.

He snorted, face fall in to my neck. "That's not even how it goes, weirdo."

"I know," I said, grinning as I reached lower, sliding my hand in to his pants. "But it works..."

"If you say so," he breathed, his face changing when I made contact with his dick. He kissed me again, a little desperately, and I pulled my hand away so that I could get his pants down.

He let me, breathing hard, and then he yanked my panties down, touching me.

"Can you..."

I shifted, freeing one leg. "Yeah...just..."

"Okay...mm." He slid inside slowly, biting his lip, watching me.

We moved quietly, almost reverently. Speechless. Softer, sweeter than times before. When I could no longer look in to his eyes, I closed mine, shuddering in bliss when he kissed my neck.

"I love when you're inside me," I whispered.

"I love it, too."

And we kissed and touched and came undone beneath the sky.

* * *

_**i love hearing from you guys. your reviews and messages are little sunrises, brightening my moments. *love***_

_**also, my friends and i did the grassy point thing every new years for years. super fun. st croix is considered the easternmost point of the united states, so when you see the sunrise there...it's like you see it first.**_


	22. Peek

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**storyline: Brighter**_

_**prompt - peek, peak, pique**_

_**NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

In St. Croix, holidays were taken seriously. As in, there were plenty of "buffer days" – like the _week_ between Christmas and New Year's. Back in Seattle, the daily grind would've continued but not here. And of course, no one was expected to work on New Year's Day, or even the day after that. People had to rest, after all.

So on January first, we slept the day away, finally shuffling from my bed around dusk.

"I'm starving," mumbled Edward, yawning in to my pillow. "Mm. Smells like you."

"Yeah? I haven't slept in it for awhile."

"Maybe it's your detergent."

"Maybe." Shrugging, I smacked his butt and climbed out of bed. "I'm hungry too, but there's hardly any food here. I need to go shopping."

"We'll figure it out," he said, rolling over.

After using the bathroom, I went to the kitchen to see if there was anything edible. I'd rounded up crackers, apple chips and frozen Capri Sun juices when Edward joined me. He took a peek at my faux-feast and chuckled, grabbing a juice.

"Niiiice. I used to love these."

"They'e good for the beach," I said, smiling. "Frozen, I mean."

"They're good _slushy_," he corrected. "These are hard as rocks. Maybe we should microwave them..."

"They'd explode in there." I grabbed the juice back and put it with mine in a bowl of hot water in the sink. "Just give them a couple of minutes."

"So, I got a text from my mom..."

"Oh," I said, suddenly nervous. "What did she say? Were they expecting you home today?"

"Bella." He made a face. "I'm twenty five."

"I know, but..."

"No. They actually wondered if we had plans for tonight. I said we were probably just going to take it easy, but they invited us to Villa Morales instead."

"Where's that?"

"Down west. It's their favorite restaurant. Mine too, actually. Puerto Rican food."

"Mm." My stomach growled, loudly.

"I'll take that as a yes."

"Definitely."

"I still need to stop home, though, to get clean clothes," he said, stretching through another yawn.

"Okay." I nodded. "I'm still eating this, though. I'm starved."

He joined me at the counter and we snacked while he called his parents back.

* * *

So, my shower wasn't as amazing as Edward's was when it came to sexy shenanigans, but it got the job done. We emerged clean and satisfied, and smelling like the pink grapefruit body scrub my mother had gifted me for Christmas.

"I might have to steal this," Edward commented, sniffing his arm.

"Don't you dare. I love that stuff."

"I love it, too."

"Then I'll have her send you some," I said, knocking him with my hip.

He raised an eyebrow on his way out of the bathroom, leaving me to my beauty ritual...

...which was little more than doing my hair and slathering moisturizer on to my face. I decided to add a bit of makeup, as well, wanting to make a good impression on Edward's parents.

He was already dressed in his clothes from the night before when I came back to the bedroom.

"Smells like sour champagne," he complained, holding the shirt away from his skin.

"I'll give you a clean t-shirt," I said, going to my suitcase, which was _still_ packed and now spilling on to the floor.

"As long as it's yours and not Peter's."

Rolling my eyes, I tossed him an old, grey shirt I usually wore to bed. "It's mine."

"UW," he read, holding it up. "_Lux sit_."

"Let there be light," I said, nodding.

"I like that," he said, slipping it on over his head. "The motto for Northwestern's translates to 'Whatsoever things are true'. Don't even ask me to try and pronounce the Latin."

"I think it would be cool to see where you went to college," I said, holding my towel up as I searched for clean underwear. "And vice versa. I want to show you Seattle. All my favorite places."

"We'll do it," he said, right behind me. "Maybe next summer."

My heart skipped a beat at his abrupt closeness, at the deepness of his voice. He reached down, tugging on the towel until my breasts were exposed. I leaned back against him, watching his fingers tickle along the swell and peak of each nipple, raising goosebumps along my skin.

"You're so pretty," he whispered, kissing my ear. He gently pulled my towel up and turned me around, so that we were face to face. "The first time I saw you...you just, you caught me off guard. So different. It was obvious you weren't from here."

Swallowing, I searched his eyes. My stomach dropped out at what I saw, at the tangible affection. He looked at me like I was precious, like he really loved me. I knew that he did; he'd told me so. But seeing it so nakedly felt even more genuine, like he could give me pretty words any time but he couldn't hide the truth in his eyes.

"I thought you were a bus boy," I blurted out, my words completely incongruent from the tenor of my thoughts. My cheeks warmed, and I grinned, lovesick-silly. "A really hot bus boy."

He laughed, eyes crinkling at the corners. "I'm whatever I need to be there."

I nodded. "It's clear you love that place. I think it's impressive that you own it, when you're still so young."

"Well, My Dad helped me out, and I took out a business loan, too, but...I'm doing okay. I'm actually almost done paying my Dad back."

"Nice," I said, nodding.

"Sometimes things get slow, like in the summer, and it's hard not to worry, but...I never regret it, you know? I love doing this."

"What did you major in?"

"Business, hospitality management...all that stuff. For a while I considered being a chef, but ultimately I decided to focus this way."

"So you like to cook?" I asked, turning to my closet to get dressed.

"I can cook."

"You've been holding out on me, Mr. Cullen."

"Maybe I was," he said. "Maybe I was waiting to see if you'd stick around."

Smirking, I dropped my towel and pulled on a pair of panties, sidestepping Edward when he tried to get grabby. "I told you I would."

"I know you did." He ran his hands through his hair. "But, you know. I've heard it before, so..."

"Why are men like that?" I mused.

"Like what?"

"_So_ many of my guy friends back home went through this, I swear. It's like, you all get screwed over, and it becomes this insurmountable thing. Like...you're scarred. I hate that some silly girl made you so untrusting, but we're not all like that."

"Obviously," he said, cocking his head.

"I mean, I never compared you to the jackass I dated years ago who totally cheated and lied to me for months..."

"But you must have learned something from it," he said. "Like who to trust...and who not to."

"Yes, I did. Really, I just learned to trust _myself_. My gut."

"Touche," he said, in a fake snobby French accent.

"No," I laughed, fastening my bra, amused at how Edward's eyes strayed to my breasts repeatedly. "Anyway, the last thing I want to do is pique your tender male ego with my psycho-analysis...I just...this has been on my mind for awhile."

"Oh, it has, has it?"

"Of course. You're always on my mind."

I pulled on a pair of jeans and a top, finishing off with new sandals I'd bought from a store in town.

"There was this girl.. We dated in high school. I loved her, but...things fell apart when we went to college."

"Long distance is hard at that age."

"She went to Northwestern, too."

"Oh." I cringed.

"She chose not to come back for Christmas break, and when I got back to the states after break...she was already fooling around with someone else."

"Ew."

"Yeah."

I bit my lip, absorbing what he'd just told me. I felt for him; of course I did. "That sucks; I'm sorry..."

"And there have been a couple of others who moved down, and then decided St. Croix just wasn't for them so...I don't know. You learn to guard your heart after while, that's all. It's basic, common sense."

"I've never really been in love like that...but I follow my heart whenever I can. It's just how I roll. I'd rather regret trying than not trying."

"I can see that with you."

I nodded.

"So you've never been in love, huh?"

"I loved Pete. I just wasn't in love."

"And what about me?"

I smiled, going to him and wrapping my arms around his warm, solid body. He was fishing, now, and by the cheesy little grin on his face, he knew it. "Definitely in love with you."

"That's good," he said, exhaling in to my hair.

"You let your guard down for me," I said.

"Yup. I did."

* * *

Edward's parents, Carlisle and Esme, were a little different than I'd been expecting.

They seemed more...relaxed. Maybe a bit preppy. Not that this was a bad thing, by any means, just different. Edward's family was wealthy, but not the way Peter's was. Peter was practically blue blooded, even if you'd never know it by looking at him.

The Cullens had made their own wealth. Carlisle was a successful architect who owned firms in both the islands and the states and Esme was an artist and society wife, dedicating time and money to supporting the arts.

Anyway, these were the things that Edward told me in the car. They didn't prepare me for the real deal.

"Hey guys," Edward said as we joined his parents.

They both stood up, smiling between their son and me.

"Bella, this is my mom, Esme, and my dad, Carlisle."

"How do you do, Bella?" Esme asked, shaking my hand. She was pretty stunning. I hope I looked like her when I was old enough to have kids in their twenties.

"I'm great, thank you." I shook her husband's hand next. "Thanks for inviting me tonight."

"Trust me, our reasons for including you were completely selfish...we've wanted to meet you for awhile."

"Oh, okay," I said, eyeing Edward, who just shrugged innocently.

Once we'd sat, a waitress came by, pen and pad in hand. "Good evening. What can I get you all to drink?"

I glanced at Edward, waiting to see what he'd get. He always seemed to have the inside scoop on yummy Cruzan things.

"You have passion fruit?"

The lady beamed at him. "Fresh."

"I'll have that, please." He looked at me. "Do you want to try it?"

"Yes, please."

His parents refilled their drinks and we settled in to an easy conversation. After chatting politely about the holidays and weather, Carlisle turned to Edward, asking him something about the bar. It sounded like they were going to get into numbers and things, so I was relieved when Esme touched my arm, asking me about Seattle. She was easy to talk to, a good listener, and I thought I could see where Edward had gotten the charm I always teased him about.

Dinner was tostones, johnny cakes, seasoned rice, salad, rice and beans, and stewed chicken. I'd never seen so many carbs in my life outside of Thanksgiving. I ate way too much, but it was all good. Literally. All of it was good.

Afterward, in the parking lot, I promised Esme I'd come up to the house and spend a little more time with her before she and Carlisle returned to Chicago. I could see that she wanted to know me better, and I wondered what types of relationships she'd had with Edward's exes, if any. My parents were always pretty hands off when it came to that. They'd liked Pete, a lot, but in retrospect we'd probably all known that there would never be a marriage or anything.

It made me realize how significant my relationship with Edward was. I'd never been opposed to marriage or children, but I'd been in absolutely _no_ rush before. With Edward, I didn't just see possibilities in everything, I felt them too.

But I wasn't inclined to discuss this with him yet, because there was no need. I was content with where we were, and with the sweet process of just...becoming.

We went back to my place, and stayed up late, drinking beer and watching movies in bed.

* * *

_**tostónes (toast-O-ness) - made from green plantains, so they're savory as opposed to sweet, like fried plantains. smooshed with a bit of salt, fried golden. & we don't pluralize plantain. this is grammatically incorrect, but it's a cruzan colloquialism i suppose. **_

_**anyways, love yous! if i haven't added you to the FB group yet, and you'd like to chill over there, please message me. xoxo**_

_**lastly, i'll be out of town starting tomorrow, but le laptop is coming along so i'll be updating as scheduled. might be shorter chapters or wonky times, but, i'll get 'er done...**_


	23. Delay

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**storyline: Brighter**_

_**prompt - delay**_

_**NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

It was weird to be going to Edward's place without him, but his mother had asked me to stop by when I had time off. She and Carlisle were leaving island in a couple of days, and my work schedule was going to be crazy for the next couple of weeks, so I made sure to go up as soon as I could.

The drive to Edward's was a pleasant one. His house sat at the end of the road, bushes and fruit trees lining the dirt road. I parked beneath a tree at one side, and hopped out, straightening my skirt.

Barely eleven, the day was already warm and a bit humid. I knocked on the door, checking my phone for messages as I waited.

I could hear Esme's heels clicking on the tiles inside as she approached the front door.

"Hi, Bella," she said warmly, gesturing for me to come inside. She kisses my cheek, and I kissed her hers, slipping my shoes off right there at the door. It was a habit now, at both my house and Edward's, and I found I preferred it.

"I hope you're hungry," she said, glancing back at me as we walked to the kitchen. "I made a huge salad. I got a little carried away down at Princess Market..."

I smiled, nodding as I set my purse down on the counter. "I could definitely eat. All I had at home was coffee and toast."

"Good." Beaming, she plated us each heaping portions of loaded, colorful salad. "I wanted to eat on the patio one last time before heading home. Grab the lemonade, will you, Bella?"

I got the pitcher and two glasses before following her outside. On this side of the house, the breeze blowing up the hill cooled things off considerably. Plus, it was shaded by trees and an awning. I places the drinks down carefully, gazing out at the ocean in the distance. I could only imagine what it would be like to live in a place like this, with a view like _that_.

"Isn't it nice?" Esme said with a sigh, watching me take everything in.

"I think I'd probably eat breakfast out here every day if I could," I said, sitting down. "It's so peaceful and soothing."

"It is," she agreed. "I used to often have my morning coffee out here, before we left."

"Do you miss it a lot?"

"I do...but we have a good life back in Chicago, too. I'm happy as long as I get to come down a couple of times a year."

"Yeah, I think i'll be happy if I can get back to Seattle once or twice a year, too, but...it really depends on my finances," I said. "Right now I'm trying to get my parents to visit."

"Well, I hope they can come down, and see the place you've chosen to live in."

"Me too."

We made small talk for a while, only with her it didn't feel insignificant or awkward, or like conversation filler. I found I enjoyed learning more about Edward's parents; it kind of gave me insight in to him.

"So...Edward went fishing with his Dad, huh?" I leaned back in my chair, wiping my mouth with a napkin.

"He did." Esme smiled. "They take this ridiculous little dinghy out...it belongs to an old friend of Carlisle's."

"That's cool."

"They've been doing it since Edward was a child...and he cleans those fish himself before frying them up because God knows I won't do it."

Making I face, I shook my head. "I wouldn't do it either. Gross."

She laughed quietly. "He loves it. He loves this whole life. It was made for him, and he for it."

My heart clenched and released, a remembering of Edward that ran through my whole body. "You can tell."

She nodded, her eyes on me. "And what about you, Bella? Edward says you're pretty set on staying."

"I am. I love it here. I miss Seattle sometimes, but, I'm happy here. And..." I blushed a bit, feeling so weird saying this to Edward's mom, especially when we hardly knew each other. "I'm really happy with Edward, too."

"I can tell," Esme said, eyes twinkling. "And...I'll be honest with you; he hasn't seemed this content in a relationship in years. I hope you two stick it out. I see good things for you."

"I hope so, too."

* * *

I had a wait shift st Brew Pub that afternoon, so after spending a couple of hours with Esme, I said my goodbyes and headed back to my place to change. After seeing how well I could do with tips while waiting tables, I'd been requesting more shifts, and they'd been giving them to me. I still worked a lot at Coconuts, too, but I was considering dropping shifts there so I could save my energy at the pub.

Edward came in a couple hours afterward, a deep golden tan from being on the water all day.

I finished taking the order I was on, winking at Edward on my way back to the kitchen so I could put it in.

"Hi," I said, kissing Edward's cheek chastely when we finally had a moment to talk. "You're later than usual. Fishing must've been fun, huh?"

"Yeah...sorry abut the delay. There was an accident coming in to town, and than I stopped by this store..." he said, pulling me toward the office. "I got you something."

My heart fluttered. "You did?"

He nodded, closing the door before handing me a little navy blue pouch. "I thought you might like it..."

It was a pretty little bracelet, made of what appeared to be bits of ceramic. Gasping, I held it in the palm of my hand, examining the colorful little pieces. "I've never seen anything like it; it's beautiful."

"Crucian Gold makes them," he said, clasping it for me. "These little pieces are called chaney...you find it on beaches, usually, or sometimes in dirt. They're like little artifacts. Each one is different."

"Thank you..." I bit my lip and stepped closer. "You just...bought this? No occasion?"

"You're the occasion," he said, pushing the loose hair from my face.

I had no words for such sweetness, so I kissed him. He kissed me, hugging me close.

"My mom really like you."

"I like her, too. I'm glad we got to hang out today."

"She thinks you're the one for me."

I pulled back, looking up at him. "Yeah? What do you think?"

"I think she's probably right."

"Probably," I teased, thinking of my mother' reaction to Edward's postcards. "Moms have a special sense for that kind of stuff."

The office phone rang, bringing us back to reality. "I gotta get this," Edward said, grabbing for it.

"'Kay."

Bracelet dangling from my wrist, I left the little room, feeling as if I was walking on clouds.

* * *

_**chaney - you can find Crucian Gold on my FB, as one of my friends. they've got great pictures of their chaney jewelry... unique pieces of china collected all over the island and scientifically dated to a period covering the years 1750 to 1900.**_

_**so... sorry for the delay - ha, see what i did there? - we've been traveling and doing family stuff all day.**_

_**but anyway, much love to all of you! thanks for just...being so great. and supportive, and fun to talk to. have i mentioned how much i adore and appreciate this crazy fandom? cuz i do.**_

_**good night, islandlovers**_

_**xoxo**_


	24. Packet

**_All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization._**

_**storyline: Brighter **_

_**prompt -packet**_

_**NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

After leaving the home of my parents, I'd lived in various dorms until the day Pete and I had decided to get our own place. That apartment had been the first one I'd ever really decorated, which is probably why leaving it had been somewhat bittersweet for me. That, and knowing me and Pete were over.

But now I had my very, _very own_ place, a cute little home tucked amongst fruit trees and my friends' children paying in the yard.

Easily, I could see myself dwelling in the duplex beside the Whitlocks for quite some time. I had no idea if and when Edward and I would move in together, and really, we were nowhere even _near_ that point anyway. Honestly, I was just excited to have my own place, something I could decorate however I wanted.

Besides what had been shipped from Seattle, most of my stuff came from either the flea market or Alice and Jasper. Besides the futon he'd given Pete and me way back when, Tyler also hooked me up with an old desk a friend of his had been getting rid of. I had just enough stuff to make my house a home, and I loved finding new, unique things to fill it with.

After seeing how much I adored the chaney bracelet, Edward, Alice, Jasper and I went looking for pieces of chaney at certain beaches and fields known for having it.

I also loved collecting shells and sea glass. I put my finds in to jars – mason, jam, peanut butter, whatever – and put them all over my bedroom. Sometimes, when the light hit just right, it shone through the sea glass, creating the prettiest seagreen patterns on the wall.

I even made little gift jars to send back home, to my mother, Angela and Jessica. Angie was determined to come back during the summertime, and bring Ben. Jess, not to be left behind this time, was apparently saving money so she could come, too.

I hoped she could come. My affection for St. Croix was bursting at the seams, and I just wanted to share it with everyone.

* * *

A spoon came toward me, distracting me from my texting. "Taste."

I took a bite of Edward's chili, humming in appreciation. "Oh my gosh," I said, nodding. "That's perfect."

"Good." He took a bite himself, squinted thoughtfully, and then went back to the pot, adding spices again. I slid off of my stool and went to the fridge, grabbing the block of cheddar we'd bought earlier.

"I'm gonna start grating this," I said, rooting around a drawer for the cheese grater.

"Next drawer," he said, stirring.

I found the tool I needed and got to work, creating a fine mountain of cheese to sprinkle over the chili. Of the deliciousness of Edward's chili I had no doubt, but I was a cheese girl through and through and liked to embellish anything I could with it.

Luckily, Edward felt the same.

Meanwhile, the aroma of garlicky goodness filled the room, making my mouth water. Edward slid the pan of garlic bread he'd made from the oven, and I retrieved our salad from the fridge. It was a dinner fit for kings, our celebration of Edward's partial freedom from debt.

He'd sent his father a cheque earlier, paying him off completely. Now, all he had left was the bank loan. According to Edward, that would be paid off by the middle of next year. I was excited for him and proud of him, knowing how much it meant to him to be responsible and financially sound. I felt like I'd be paying student loans off for the rest of my life.

"Where's the packet of balsamic this came with?" I asked, searching the fridge.

"I tossed that shit out," Edward scoffed. "I make my own dressings."

"Oh," I cried, clapping my hand over my heart. "Well la-di-da-di! Please, do tell me where this gourmet dressing is hiding..."

"Second shelf to the bottom," he said smugly.

Smiling, I plucked the little bottle from its hiding place and set it on the counter. "I'll let you put it on, seeing as you must know the proper way to do it and all."

"Smart ass." He laughed, tuning the burner off and moving the steaming pot of chili over. "Let's go outside while it sits."

I nodded, handing him a glass of wine.

Outside, the evening was warm and breezy. We sat at the table where he'd first kissed me; I thought of that every time we came out here.

"It's so peaceful out here," I said, sighing in contentment. "I love it."

"Your place is pretty chill, too," Edward said. "I like being there."

"Oh, I do too," I said quickly, nodding. "I love it. But still. I can imagine what it must have been like, growing up and coming home to this. Did you guys ever have house parties when your parents left?"

"Maybe once or twice," he chuckled. "They didn't leave much – not together, anyway. We were kind of all over the island when it came to teenaged recklessness."

"I bet." I gave him a look, sipping my wine. The drinking age in the islands was eighteen, and the attitude toward drinking very relaxed in general. The result was interesting: one one hand, it seemed as though everybody drank, all the time. It was socially acceptable at damn near any age and hour. But on the other hand, it wasn't a big deal at all. I remembered how crazy kids had been at college in the states, especially freshman year. The drinking, sex and drugs had been a little crazy, and though I hadn't been a perfect angel myself, I'd been nowhere near as debauched as some. I wondered if a relaxed attitude toward certain things made people less attracted to it...

"We had good times," Edward said. "This was a great place to grow up."

I glanced back at him. He was gazing out toward the sea, a little lost in memories, maybe.

"When did you move here?"

"The summer before seventh grade. I hated it at first...but it didn't take long for me to...get it."

I nodded, tucking my legs under. "It must have been sort of a culture shock, coming from Chicago to this."

"Totally. But I met Jasper pretty early on, and his friends, and even though everything down here was different, some things were the same. They were skaters, like me. And they taught me to surf. There aren't too many surf spots on St. Croix, but the ones we have are all right. Small, but consistent, ride-able waves."

A couple of the albums back inside the house contained pictures of Edward, Jasper and other boys around this age. I smiled, thinking of their floppy, sun-bleached hair, hanging in their faces like they were all badass.

"You were probably so cute," I said.

He rolled his eyes and stood, arms overhead as he stretched. "So supercute."

I giggled, draining my wine. The sun had set, turning golden things soft grey. "I'm going inside before the mosquitos come."

"I'll be right in," he said, still looking out at the view.

Once inside, I watched him from the kitchen window. I loved everything about him, everything he was, everything this life had made him, nurture and nature. He continued to fascinate me. I understood now that while he was a relaxed, accepting person, he didn't give his love and trust freely, and I knew how special it was that I'd been given those things.

He turned to come back inside, his eyes catching mine, and something passed between us, a knowing, perhaps. My heart did this shivery thing in my chest, both heavy and light at the same time.

* * *

_**hi! another update coming later on tonight. i'm back from my mini family reunion-esque vacation.**_

_**love you more than cheesy-chili.**_


	25. Stump

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**storyline: Brighter **_

_**prompt -stump**_

_**NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

The weekend aside for the Christmas tree bonfire turned out to be a rainy one, so much so that Jasper and his friends pushed it back a week. Originally, I was supposed to work at Coconuts that Friday night and the following Saturday morning, but when the plans changed I managed to switch with Siobhan.

"Why don't you just let go of Coconuts?" Irina asked one evening that week.

Shrugging, I took a sip of my club soda. "I like it there. It's chill. Besides, they were the first ones to give me a job when I moved here. I feel kind of attached."

"You feel obligated," Irina corrected gently.

"I mean, kind of, yeah, but it's more than than that."

"Well, if you ever decide to come here full time, I know Edward could get you more lunch shifts for sure."

I nodded, knowing that was true. Before coming to St. Croix, I'd never imagined myself as the type of person to do well at waiting tables. Most of my jobs before and during college were low key, like office jobs. But waiting came easy to me, and I found that I enjoyed it.

Eventually, I'd have to think about how I might apply my degree to the life I was living. I'd majored in communications, with a focus on non-profit organizations and how I could fundraise. I'd always been interested in community service as a teen, above and beyond was had been required to graduate, so going in that direction had seemed like a natural step.

There was a lot of history and culture on St. Croix, and plenty of societies whose main focus was on keeping it alive. That appealed to me.

For the future, anyway. For now, I was taking things one step at a time.

* * *

"You ready, Bella?"

I nodded, zipping my backpack and grabbing a sleeping bag from the closet hall. "You sure you don't want this?" I asked. "It's cozy..."

"Only one of us can fit comfortably in that. My tent is perfect. For the _two_ of us."

Laughing, I tossed the sleeping bag back in to the closet. "Okay, but if I get cold tonight, you're gonna get it."

"That's what I'm hoping for," he said, earning a smack on the arm...and a kiss on the cheek.

Outside, the stump of Edward's Christmas tree was sticking up out the back of his truck. Jasper, Alice and the girls had left a little earlier, wanting to make sure things were getting set up down at Ha'penny Beach.

I tossed my stuff in to an empty space in the back before climbing up front with Edward.

"I'm excited; I love camping," I said.

Edward passed a slow poke on the main road, glancing over at me. "Yeah? Me too."

"I used to go with my Dad, back in Washington. We'd drive out to this tiny town called Forks, where his family's from. It's beautiful out there...the tallest, greenest trees ever."

"I'd like to see it," Edward said.

"You will," I promised, adding it to my mental list of things we wanted to share.

Ha'Penny was out on the South Shore. It took us about fifteen minutes to get there and then another five to bump down the dirt road. A number of vehicles cars were parked up already, and in the near distance, the glow of a fire was evident. Edward backed the truck up so that getting the tree out would be easier.

Jasper walked up; he must've seen us coming.

"Hey, guys." he greeted. "Let me give you a hand, Ed."

I waited until they'd hefted the tree out before dealing with our bags. On the beach, Leah, Rachel and several other children whooped and played, their little feet kicking up sand. One guy was grilling burgers and hot dogs, and a small makeshift bar had been comprised of coolers.

A cheer went out as Edward and Jasper tossed the tree in to the fire, and the flames licked up toward the deepening indigo sky. I recognized a couple of the faces, but not all; Edward quickly introduced me before we went to put up his tent.

It was a very low-key gathering, lasting well in to the night.

When the food was done, Emmett's girl Rosalie brought marshmallows and skewers, a sweet ending to a perfect night.

Edward had been right about his tent; it was one of those big deals, nothing like the pup tents Charlie and I'd roughed it in, back in the day. We crawled inside around two a.m., silly with sleepiness.

Sometimes during the night, Edward woke me, shaking me gently.

"i wanted to show you something."

"Now?" I yawned.

"Yeah, I saw it just now when I went to take a piss."

"Thanks for the visual." I yawned again, following Edward to the water's edge.

We poke our toes in.

"There," he whispered.

Squinting in the darkness, I tried to see what Edward saw, but couldn't.

He grabbed my arm. "There."

And then I saw it: little glowing things, coming closer as the water broke on shore.

"What is that?" I gasped, bending to get a better look.

"Bio luminescence," Edward said, agitating the water a bit. The glow seemed to flare up a little. "They're actually algae, but...they glow in the water. Cool, right?"

"Incredible," I said through another yawn, wish I could just bottle and save the beauty. "Thanks for getting me up to show me."

We held hands on the way back to our tent. And as I dozed off, I felt Edward tuck me closer, my back to his front. "I love you."

"Love you, too, I whispered.


	26. Rush

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**Story - Brighter**_

_**Prompt - rush**_

_**NOT BETA'D (as you can tell from my overload of errors the other night, one of which was "dung" instead of "during". bwahahaa...)**_

* * *

Weeks passed, months. I fell in to a way of being that felt so suited for me, and it was remarkable to think that once this had been a novelty. For the most part, I was too deeply entrenched in it to really see it objectively, but sometimes, I caught a moment outside of myself, and I'd marvel at my life.

When I spent the night at my place, I loved lying in bed when I first woke, listening to the morning doves cooing outside my window. Next door, Jasper always left for work way before I did, but I often heard Alice getting the girls ready for school. I'd hear the sweet up and down of their chatter as they made their way from the porch to the car, and then the crunch of tires over gravel as they all left.

Then, silence...which wasn't really silent at all, if you thought about the birds, the breeze, and the the scuttle of leaves across the gutters lining the roof.

Edward was usually snoozing at my side, but every once in while it was just me. I loved his house, and we spent a lot of time up there, but my home was my haven, and one of Edward's too. We spent a lot of time in my bed, and not just for the obvious purposes of sleep and sex. We watched movies together, read books side by side, played Scrabble (as well as Words With Friends on our phones while apart). Sometimes we just sat and talked until we were sleepy.

Or woke up and talked until we were ready to get up.

Things were definitely slowing down in town. The season came to a close, and I saw a side of St. Croix unlike what I'd gotten used to. Weeknights in town were so quiet sometimes, and the day time was lazy and chill. People who'd been on island forever were used to it, and responded accordingly: shorter store hours, keeping sparser inventories.

Coconuts tended to do well because it appealed to tourists and locals alike, and people would always need coffee and breakfast. The same went for the Brew Pub, which tended to focus on local favorites when it came to lunch time specials. I started having lunch there every day, upstairs, looking over the harbor. Edward usually joined me, but even if he didn't, I had my spot: a small corner table across from the entrance.

I was sitting there one afternoon when Edward found me, engrossed in an email from Jessica.

"Hey," he said, stealing one of my french fries.

"Hey," I echoed absently, offering my cheek for a kiss.

He disappeared, then came back with a plate of food for himself. I closed my laptop and pushed it aside, sighing heavily.

"What's up?"

"It's Jess. She's...freaking out again."

"That guy still messing with her?"

I nodding, making a face. "He's such a dick. I don't know why she even bothers. Seriously."

He shrugged, chewing. We'd been talking about Jessica and her on again, off again boyfriend for weeks now. He continually cheated on her and she kept on taking him back. I'd just about given up on her. Well, not on _her_, but on the situation. Jess was a smart, pretty girl who could easily have anyone she wanted. Why she settled for this loser was beyond me.

"She wants to come down," I said, sipping my soda. "Soon."

"She should. Flights are cheaper nowadays."

"That's what I told her. She's looking in to it."

He smiled, cocking his head. I loved when he looked at me that way; it still gave me flutters.

"What?" I asked, tucking my hair behind my ear.

"You miss those girls, huh?"

"Of course," I said. "I love my friends here, but Angie and Jess have been friends of mine forever. It's like...you and Jasper. Or Emmett, or Jacob."

Chuckling, Edward nodded. "Jacob's just waiting for me to mess up."

"What do you mean?"

He gestured to me with his fork.

"With me?" I screeched.

"Yup."

"What?"

He laughed harder. "He thinks you're _so fine_."

"He's gonna be waiting for some time, then."

"That's what I told him," Edward said. "He likes all the pretty girls, though. That's just how he is."

"A player," I said.

"Yeah. But he's a good kid. He'd probably relax if he found the right girl."

"Doesn't seem like he's in a rush to settle down to me," I sniffed, thinking of his antics with Irina. They'd had quite the torrid love affair for a couple of weeks after New Year's. But then again, Irina was still playing around with Tyler, as well. It was like the Real World of St. Croix, with all of the relationship drama and silliness. Edward and I were always joking that we should start a reality show based on our friends.

Edward rolled his eyes, most likely thinking the exact same thing as me. "Yeah, well."

"I know, I know. She's just as bad."

"She is."

"I know."

I kicked him underneath the table.

"Ouch," he said, grabbing my foot. "Is your period finished yet? Because you seem awfully sexually frustrated."

"First of all, I have one more day," I said, tossing a wadded up napkin at him. "And second, I am _not_ sexually frustrated."

"Yes, you are. Don't think I haven't noticed how violent you get."

"Maybe I just like play fighting," I shot back.

"Yeah – when you're sexually frustrated."

I stuck my tongue out at him, prompting him to do the same. Really mature of us both. Pushing back from the table, I grabbed my plate so I could bring it to the kitchen. "As much as I like bickering with you, I've gotta get ready for my shift."

He nodded, grinning up at me. "You've been working an awful lot lately."

"Yeah, well...that's about to change."

His smile fell, and he sat up straighter. "Why? What happened?"

"I gave up Coconuts today," I said, slightly nervous at how he'd receive my news. I wasn't sure why; he and Irina had both been pretty adamant that I come on board full time at the Pub.

"Really?" He seemed thoughtful. "How'd Alice take it?"

"She's fine, actually. I've been training the new girl all week."

"So...you're here full time now."

"I am."

A lazy grin crept back across his face, and he sat back, hands clasped over his belly. "No more early mornings..."

Now that was the most delicious thought, wasn't it... "No more."

"Good."

I leaned down to kiss him, and he pulled me on to his lap, almost making me drop the plate I was carrying. I rested it back on the table and relaxed in to Edward, playing with the hair at the base of his neck while we kissed. It was getting a little long in the back, so messy and cute. He kept threatening to buzz cut it, but he knew I loved it.

"Are you happy?" he murmured, brushing his nose against my chin.

I nodded, eyes closed. "Sometimes I think about what my life would've been like at this point. I almost missed this, Edward. The plan was to stay for the season and then just...leave, like nothing. Like...I don't know."

"I thank God every day you stayed," he said quietly.

My insides quivered, and I opened my eyes to see him looking up at me. He'd become so open with his affection, and with his words.

"Me too," I admitted, realizing that this was true, even if those prayers were sometimes subconscious.

"I'm so in love with you," he said, brushing his lips against mine.

I nodded, blinking back the wetness in my eyes. Good God, I could've found Edward in Siberia and I would've stayed had it meant coming to this point with him.

"Me too," I said, kissing him again...and again.

* * *

We had dinner with Alice and Jasper that night.

I helped Alice cook, as I'd been doing more and more lately. It worked for us both: her, because she was growing bigger and needed all the help she could get, and me, because I was becoming a much better chef. I found that I actually _adored _it.

"You're becoming a foodie," teased Alice, watching me add spices to the olive oil we'd be using for dipping bread. "I know that's Edward's influence."

"Probably," I said, nodding. "We _have_ been watching an alarmingly amount of Food Network lately..."

"And frequenting the farmer's markets," Alice said. "I hear all about it."

"I thought I'd left such food snobbery behind...I mean, Seattle is all about that scene. But Edward holds his own..."

"What about Edward?" he walked in, dropping an empty beer bottle in to the recycling bin with a clang.

"We're discussing your foodie ways and how they're rubbing off on Bella," Alice said, tapping her fingers on her round belly.

Edward grabbed another beer from the fridge before coming to peer over my shoulder. "Mm. That looks good."

"Alice did most of it."

He dropped a wet kiss on my neck and left again, leaving me loved and flustered. We'd been extra close since our talk at lunch, connected by the thread of all the things we'd said.

Later, I scrolled through the pictures on my phone while Edward showered. Time had passed so quickly, my moments rich with life and new things.

Valentine's Day, which we'd spent at work together. He'd made me fruity pink drinks all day, complete with twisty straws made in to hearts. We'd had dinner together at Kendrick's that night, one of many couples dining by candlelight. It was sweet, and traditional, only...everything felt a little different on St. Croix.

St. Patrick's Day...utterly insane. You'd swear we were in Ireland by the huge parade and the way people partied. We'd been covered in glitter and green paint by the end of the day, and totally exhausted after drinking green beer for hours on end.

Easter weekend, when Crucians camped out on the beaches from the morning of Good Friday until the evening of Easter Sunday. We'd avoided the crowds by going to Jasper's family beach, the one we'd secretly done it on that first time way back. Alice and Jasper brought the girls, and I'd finally met Jasper's parents, a rowdy, fun couple who'd obviously been camping for years. Their tents and supplies were like homes. It was hardly roughing it.

The next big event that I could think of was Edward's birthday, one month away in June. He'd been talking of sailing to the BVI, maybe going to Jos Van Dyke. I hoped we could go. I'd never been sailing like that, not for days at a time.

Edward came out of the bathroom, still damp when he flopped down next to me. "Ha, I remember that," he chortled, pointing at a picture of Jacob from St. Patty's Day.

"So is he really trying to grow locks now?" I asked, examining the picture more closely.

"He's been saying that for years," said Edward, rolling his eyes. "But he always gets over it after a few months and shaves his head."

"He's silly."

"No kidding," Edward said, resting his chin on my shoulder. "That's a nice one..."

"Which?"

He pointed to a picture of me and Alice, building sand castles with the girls. Rachel was half in my lap, reaching to put something – a shell, probably – on top of one of the towers as a finishing touch.

"I love that one."

Edward kissed my neck, my ear. "I can see you with kids."

"Just me?" I breathed, not even meaning to say it...but not really minding that I had.

"Me too." He moved to the other side of my neck.

"You too what?" I whispered, nonsensical in the wake of the shivery feelings he was giving me all.

"I can see me with kids."

"I like kids."

"Me too."

I snorted at our circuitous ridiculousness. He grinned crookedly, hair all crazy and sticking up from post shower toweling...and from my hands.

"We'd have cute kids," I said, shyly.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah.

"I'd like you with my kids," he said, nodding.

Wide open warmth bloomed inside of me. "Yeah?"

"Mhm." He went back to my neck, sucking on a spot, probably leaving hickies.

On the other side of the duplex, a wail went up. One of the girls must've woken up. Edward backed up, smirking down at me.

"But not for a while, just saying."

I pulled him down to kiss some more, imagining our play time cut short by cute, but needy, tinies. "Not for a long while."

* * *

_**Is This Love - Bob Marley**_


	27. Full Steam Ahead

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**storyline: Brighter**_

_******Word Prompt: Technology**_

_**Plot Generator—Idea Completion: Full steam ahead.**_

_**NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

Edward came with me to pick Jessica up from the airport. Her flight came in late, and baggage claim was a total zoo by the time we finally met up with her. Her eyes raked appreciatively over Edward before she threw herself in to my arms.

"I'm so glad I finally made it!" she squealed.

I hugged her tightly, inhaling her admittedly yummy conditioner – the wind was blowing her curls in to my face, tickling my nose. "Hey, Jessie..."

Once I'd peeled her off, I introduced her to Edward. She shook his hand, looking coyly between him and me. "I've heard _all_ about you, bartender man."

Edward choked, laughing. "I've heard _all_ about you, too."

"Did you drink on that flight?" I asked suspiciously.

"Sure did. Had a couple of those rum punches they offer you by the gate, too."

"Oh jeez," I snorted. "You didn't waste any time, did you?"

"Hell no – I'm on vacation! Full steam ahead, amigos."

Still chuckling, Edward nodded toward the luggage carousel. "How many bags did you bring, Jessica?"

"Just two," Jessica responded. "I mean, besides these."

Her "just two" were ginormous. She'd probably had to pay extra to get those bad boys on the plane, but, that was Jess. I was willing to bet she had an outfit planned for every single thing we did.

"Damn... it's hot, yo," she sighed as we walked to Edward's truck.

"It's nearly summer," he said.

"It's almost always hot," I said. "You should've seen it when we came down last September! The humidity was nuts!"

"Not good for my hair," she whined, tying her shiny, brown curls back in to a loose ponytail.

Once we were on our way, Edward and I took turns pointing things out, much the way Tyler had done for Pete and me on our first day. I marveled how how I'd acclimated to the island's quirks and sights. The things that had Jess gasping, oohing and ahhing over? It was so normal for me now, almost commonplace.

"Ohmygaaahhh look at the cows! Are those goats? Ack! You drive on the left! Are those Rastamen? . God. I want a sexy Rasta boy for myself."

Cringing, I bit my lip and looked over at Edward, who looked back at me and mouthed _"Jacob", _which totally made me laugh. Jake would be on Jess like white on rice once he saw her ample curves and cute face.

"Are you hungry, Jess? They didn't feed you on the plane, I know."

"Yeah, I'm starving. I can wait til we get to your place, though. I don't want you guys to have to go out of your way..."

"Pshh, no worries. It's your vacation," I said, elbowing her in the side.

"I could park right behind the Pub...her bags'll be safe in the cab," Edward offered. "Emmett would be more than happy to hook us up with an early dinner."

"Or late lunch," Jess said, glancing at her phone. "I'm a couple of hours behind here..."

By the time we got to the Brew Pub, I was hungry, too. We went in through the back, introducing Jess to Emmett and the other cook, Alistair, before leading her out to the bar.

Irina waved, grinning. "Hi, there."

"Hi," Jess said, smiling.

"What can I get you?"

"I think she's a Hammerhead kinda girl," Edward said, tapping the bar.

I rolled my eyes, thinking back to how he'd once guessed my "type" of brew. "What are you, the beer-whisperer?" I teased.

He swooped down, kissing my cheek. "You know this."

Jessica moaned from behind us, swallowing down her beer. "That's good. So good."

"Slow it down, babe," I whispered, hugging her from behind. "You have two weeks."

She tilted her face to mine, and for a moment, I saw the sadness she was hiding. "I just want to forget about him," she whispered back, eyes pleading.

"You will," I said, hoping like hell I could help that happen.

* * *

Jessica was out like a light by ten p.m.

We'd spent a couple of hours chilling at the pub, and by the time we'd headed to my place, she was totally sloshed. I fed her again, stuck her in the shower, and helped her to bed.

Edward was yawning when I emerged from the bedroom. "I'm gonna head home," he said, running his fingers through his hair. "I know you girls have catching up to do."

"Yeah, maybe if she was awake," I snickered.

"She gonna be okay?"

"I think so. Jess likes to party, but I think...she's just stressed out. She's unwinding."

"I get that," he said, nodding.

"But...yeah. I understand if you want to go home."

He smiled, pulling me close. "Feels weird, huh?"

"To not be spending the night together?"

"Yeah..."

"It kinda does," I agreed. "When did that happen?"

He laughed lowly. "I don't know."

Rising to my tiptoes, I kissed him soundly, missing him before he was even gone. We stayed that way way awhile, making out in the darkened hallway between my room and the living area.

"Thanks for...everything today," I said, kissing his chin. Ah, the stubble. I loved the stubble.

"You don't have to thank me," he said, gazing down at me.

I slipped my hands up under his t-shirt so that I could feel the warmth of his skin. His sharp intake of breath told me he was just as affected by me as I was by him. "I really love you, you know" I said, pressing close.

"You trying to seduce me in to staying?" he groaned. Poor guy; he was sporting a boner now.

"Sorry...I'll behave," I said, kissing his nose and backing off.

His face was a little red around the cheeks; so cute. "See you tomorrow...call me if you need anything, okay?"

"Okay."

We walked to the front door.

"Love you," he whispered, kissing me before leaving.

My heartbeat followed his footsteps, wishing he was walking to me and not away.

* * *

I awoke to Jessica's repentant face, her raccoon-ed eyes and smudged lipstick vestiges of her wildness the day before. It had been hard enough helping her in the shower last night; I hadn't even bothered with proper makeup removal.

"Oh, my gosh. You hate me," she whimpered.

I grabbed my pillow from beneath my head and put it over my face, giggle-snorting at her melodrama. "I don't, crazy girl. I love you."

"Even though I got totally wasted last night? Ugh. I can't believe myself. I hate flying, by the way. It makes me so nervous...this one time..."

I let her ramble awhile, affectionately reacquainting myself with her sweet, little-girl face. Button nose, cupid lips, light brown hair... she was a doll. Even when she was drinking and cursing like a sailor.

"So what's with you and Edward? He didn't stay?"

"Not last night; he wanted to give us time together, to chill and catch up."

"Aw, well that was sweet," she said. "He's so hot, girl. Does he have brothers?"

"No, but he does have some very cute friends..."

"For real? Bring. Them. On."

"You'll meet everyone, I promise."

"So. How's the loving. Is it good? I bet it's amazing. I bet he –"

This time I smothered _her_ with my pillow. "Shush!"

"Don't be a prude," she said, muffled. "I want the deets!"

"He's a real stud between the sheets, mkay?" I conceded, taking my pillow back.

"And?"

I climbed out of bed. "Nope. Not kissing and telling with you. This is not junior high."

"Oh, come _on_," she cried.

"Nope. Now, what do you want – omelets or pancakes?"

"Can't I have both?"

I grinned, pulling her out of bed. "For sure."

After a very long, very leisurely breakfast, I took Jessica to Shoy's, just like I had with Angela months before. There were so many things I wanted to share with her, and I was glad that we actually ample time to do it.

As usual, Shoy's was a little bit crowded, it being Saturday. We dodged mommy groups and tanning couples, finally finding a spot a little ways down. Jess grabbed her phone and starting snapping pictures the second we hit our towels.

"I'm sending these straight to Facebook," she vowed. "Caius can kiss my ass."

I smiled, handing her a Heineken. "Here, make sure you include this."

"Ha!" she cackled, grabbing it. I took a picture of her, beer in hand, bright blue water behind her. She sent it through, smiling. "Instant envy. Thank God for technology."

"So. How's Angie?" I asked, even though I spoke to Angela all the time. I really just wanted to move the subject away from any potential Jess and Caius drama.

"Good. She and Ben are two peas in a pod, I swear."

"Aw, that's good. He's a nice guy."

"Yeah. A little dull, but very sweet."

"Jess!" I laughed incredulously, sipping my beer.

"What? It's true. I like him, though. I could probably do with some duller guys in my own life..."

"Mhm." I tapped by beer to hers, toasting.

"Who. Is. That?" she asked, straightening up as she looked past me.

I followed her gaze down the shore, to where a group of guys was standing near the water's edge. After watching them a bit, I realized they were playfully sparring, Capoeira, by the looks of it. A couple of friends of ours were really in to, including...

Jacob. Son of gun. If that wasn't fate, I didn't know what was. I smirked to myself.

"You wanna go watch?" I asked my now intrigued friend.

"Hell yeah," she muttered, adjusting her boobs in her bikini top.

We stood, brushing sand from our behinds, and walked down to the circle. Had they been strangers, I never would have felt comfortable just wandering up to a group of guys like this. Besides Jacob, though, I recognized a couple of familiar faces from town.

Jacob saw me right away, breaking out in to a huge, happy grin. He loped over, water glistening off his ridiculously toned, tanned chest. I could almost see the exact second when he realized I'd brought a friend, the wheels turning in his perennially horny head.

Beside me, Jess was nearly salivating. I nearly smacked her, but then Jake was standing in front of us, and frankly, looking as goofy as she was.

"Hey, Bella," he said, kissing both of my cheeks. He smelled like weed, incense and beer.

"Hi, Jake. This is my girl, Jessica. She's visiting from Seattle."

Jess offered her hand, but Jake bypassed all that, instead leaning forward and kissing her cheeks, too. She turned pink and smiled.

She'd just wanted to forget, she'd said yesterday.

Well, mission complete.

* * *

_**awwwwww yeah.**_


	28. Lawn

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**storyline: Brighter**_

_******Word Prompt: Lawn, yawn**_

_**NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

Sometime during dinner, Jess had moved from her side of the table to Jacob's and now she was practically in his lap, gazing adoringly at him as he told tales of growing up Cruzan. I was pretty sure he was making things extra juicy just for her, but I couldn't fault him for it. He'd taken her mind off of her douchey ex-boyfriend, and the smile on her face was all I needed.

And anyway, Edward had pulled his friend aside earlier, giving him a man-to-man heads up. A warning, of sorts. As in, "if you hurt Bella's friend, not only will she stringing you up by the balls, she'll make me suffer by proxy." I had a feeling he'd told Jake about Caius, and what he'd been like, because he was being remarkably well-behaved.

Well, for Jacob. He was still having a hard time keeping his eyes away from Jess' ample cleavage, but...hey. She had it out there for his perusal. I knew the deal, and those two? Cut from the same cloth.

We'd had a fun couple of days, playing at different beaches during the day, exploring various restaurants and bars at night. It was low-key, but so much fun, and Jessica had told me time and time again that just being on St. Croix was healing her in ways she'd never expected. It wasn't just Jacob, either. He'd hung out with us a couple times – mostly at night – but, besides a couple of kisses, they hadn't done much. Jess said it was being with me, and in this idyllic setting, not having to worry about work or who was doing what. She understood why I'd left Seattle, joking that she was half-tempted to follow in my footsteps.

But now it was late, and I tried unsuccessfully to hide a yawn. Between Jess and work, I'd been crazy busy. I'd taken time off to be with her, and on the days I did have work she usually just wandered around town, but there had been no down time. I was getting closer to accepting Jake's offer to "take Jessie off my hands" for a day...knowing damn well he just wanted to have her _in his_ hands...horn dog.

"Tired?" Edward asked, resting his hand on my thigh.

I looked at him, noticing his eyes were red from tiredness, too. We'd both been super busy lately.

Nodding, I sat up a little straighter. "Yeah...I'll be okay, though."

"We can go home if you're sleepy," Jessica offered. "Or...I don't know. Jake said he'd drive me home."

"I'll bet he did," I said, smirking.

She made a face at me, but Jacob just smirked back, resting his arm around the back of Jessica's chair. "Hey, now. I promised to be a gentleman. Can you really blame me for wanting to spend more time with your gorgeous friend?"

Oh, my Lord. Even Edward groaned at that.

Letting them leave together had its appeal, though. Because as exhausted as I was, I was also really in the mood. Edward and I hadn't had alone time lately, not enough to do much more than kiss. Normally I could handle it, but it was starting to take a toll on me. I missed him.

"So, we're just gonna go," Jessica was saying, acting all sly as she stood. "I'll meet you at home?"

I glanced at Jacob. He winked and stood up, slipping his hand in to Jessica's.

"Sounds good," Edward said, on his feet. Damn, guess we were all ready to go.

I grinned, going around to give my friend a hug. "Have fun. Be safe." I handed her Pete's old key, just in case they got in really late or something.

"I will," she promised, pocketing the key. Jake kissed my cheek, and then they were gone.

"Finally," muttered Edward, tossing money down on to the table. "Let's go back to my place."

"Sounds good." It had been at least a week since last I'd been up there, not counting the night Edward, Jess and I made dinner and had it on his patio, and I missed it. I missed that shower, that bed.

We drove home quietly, windows down to let in the breeze.

"So, I'm thinking of getting a dog," Edward said, as we turned on to his long, windy driveway.

"You should," I said, thinking of the many pets I'd had over the years.

"Marcus' Rottweiler's about to have puppies."

"Ooh, you should definitely get one!" I clapped my hands in excitement, thinking of the utter adorability. I could already envision us rolling around the lawn with it, playing catch in the sunshine. "I love rotties."

"Me too. I'll talk to him tomorrow."

We lapsed in to another silence, smiling, both probably thinking of canine cuteness.

I yawned again as we pulled up to the house, grateful I had the next day off. Even when I got to sleep in due to my schedule at the Pub, I tended to get up earlier to make the most of my time with Jess. But we were at Edward's now, and she had a key to my place. I had a feeling she and Jake would...take advantage of the fact that that the house was empty when they finally made it back there.

"What's the face for?" Edward laughed, linking our fingers as we walked down the dim hallway leading to his room.

I smiled, realizing my thoughts were on display. "Jake and Jess are probably going to do it. In my house."

"Or in his car," he said with a shrug.

"Oh jeez," I said, covering my face.

"Yeah, I'm surprised he hasn't hit it yet."

"Edward."

"I'm just saying, babe, they're on the same page here..."

"I know, I know. Just...ugh." I peeked at him through my fingers. "It's weird thinking about _other people_ having sex. You know?"

Grabbing the hem of his t shirt, he pulled it off over his head and tossed it aside. "Yup. That's why I only think about us having sex."

"Nice segue," I said, kicking my shoes off and flopping back on his bed.

"I thought so, too."

He stalked closer, running his hands up my legs until he got to the hem of my skirt. "I like this."

"My skirt?"

"Mhm."

I smiled, kissing him. "I knew you would."

"I like those little shorts you wear to work, too," he added, cupping my bottom with both hands.

"They keep me cool," I said.

"They're pretty short."

"But not too short."

"Almost," he said, nipping my throat.

I wrapped my legs around him, liking how he moved against me, how his jeans dug into me just right. He could make me feel good just like this, but there was no comparison to how he felt inside me.

"Take your jeans off," I whispered, kissing his ear.

He smiled, getting up so he could.

I peeled my clothes off, meeting him in the middle of the bed, rubbing my hands against his warm skin, touching our tongues together. He slid a hand between my legs, touching me until I was ready, and then pulled me on to his lap. I rode him slowly, gripping his sides as he held my hips, breathing shaky when he pushed up hard.

"I love having you here," he said, his eyes caught on mine.

"Here...in this house?"

"Here in this bed...and this house. With me."

I nodded, crying out softly when he touched me, tracing his fingers in wet little circles. Closing my eyes, I arched back and came, and it swelled over me like the undertow, pulling me under so I could barely breathe. Edward stilled my movements and pushed me on to my back, and then my stomach, lifting my hips to meet his as he drove back inside. I smiled against the sheets, because maybe he enjoyed slow and sexy but he _craved_ hard and fast.

"If you...stay," he panted, his voice, warm breath at my ear, "if you stay here, we can do whatever you want to this house. Make it ours."

My mind started filling with possibilities, each one more crazy and wonderful than the last, but then his thrusts felt so good they pushed away all thought, leaving room only for the basics of pleasure.

His fingers dug in to my skin, warning me that he was coming, and then he did, with all the tempest of a hurricane.

I rolled over as he pulled out, taking his face so that I could cover it in kisses, this post orgasmic glimmer and glow. "Are you asking me to move in?"

"Maybe..."

I watched him, waiting for him to speak up.

"When is your lease up?"

"September."

"Three months."

"Just about."

"Easily." His breath was coming slower now. "I know you love that place."

"I do, but, I love you more," I admitted, shivering when he ran soft hands over the sweat between my breasts.

"I've always lived alone," he said.

"No roommates? Not even in college?"

"I meant girls."

"Oh," I breathed. "I only ever lived with Peter." Even as I said it, though, I suspected that cohabiting with Edward would be nothing like that.

We gazed at each other, sideways on the bed, nothing but the quiet fan, and the trees outside, moving in the wind.

"I want you close," he said. "I want to come home to you."

"Well, if we keep on working at the same place you'd be coming home _with_ me," I joked, pushing his hair from his face.

He said nothing, just looked. There was that intense Edward, the one that had both intimidated and attracted me so many months ago. Had it really been almost a year since we'd first met?

"I want that, too," I said finally. "I want to be close."

"We'd have a dog." He grinned real slow, as if the thought appealed to him like no other. It got to me, too, and I smiled back, nodding.

"And friends over for dinner."

"We already do that."

"But still." I shrugged, one shoulder. "It'll be different."

"You'll miss your tree," he said, remembering my flamboyant.

"I will," I agreed. "You have the best view, though."

"I'll make sure to stock up on mosquito spray."

"Citronella candles are prettier."

He snorted.

"I wonder what my parents will say..."

"Isn't your father a cop?" he asked suddenly, frowning.

"Retired," I said, sighing.

"Maybe I should ask him, first."

"What? Pfft."

"You mean Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater didn't ask?"

Facetious shock crossed his face. I rolled my eyes. "No."

"So I'll do it right, then."

"It's not like you're asking for my hand, Edward."

"Aren't I?"

My heart leapt. "No...I..."

"Should I?"

He was smirking, infuriating, so I couldn't tell if he was kidding around or being serious, but I thought it was probably a little of both. I'd have been lying if I said I'd never fantasized about marrying him; we discussed things close to it often enough, I supposed. But actually popping the question was just...different. Significant.

And I didn't even need it, not yet, not quite. We'd done well going with the flow, feeling one another out. I felt like...we'd know.

"Edward?"

"Hm." He was sitting up now, scratching his fingers through his hair.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

"Let's do it in the shower."

He laughed, but I noticed he didn't say no.

* * *

_**Turn Your Lights Down Low - Bob Marley**_

_**the original. not the lauryn hill version. that one's...ok. but it doesn't hold a candle to just bob.**_


	29. Boredom

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

**storyline: Brighter **

**prompt - boredom**

**NOT BETA'D**

* * *

I face planted on to my bed, exhausted.

We'd had, possibly, the best, most fun week ever, sailing to the BVI for Edward's twenty sixth birthday. Being in the business himself, Marcus had plenty of connections and friends with boats – bigger, fancier vessels that were perfect for overnight stays. He'd been more than happy to hook his boy up, offering to not only provide the sailboat but captain it.

So two days before Edward's birthday, early in the morning, we set sail: Marcus and his wife, myself and Edward, and...Jake and Jessica.

Jessica, whose ticket home had long expired.

She kept saying "_Damn, if you can do it, I can do it!"_, as if I was her inspiration for life changes or something. Maybe I was, God only knew, but the point was I had another roommate for the time being. I loved having her around. Loved it. It felt like old times.

Anyway, the weather played nice during our trip, and despite a cloudy forecast for Saturday, the actual birthday, it never rained. I'd been nervous about being on a boat for so long, afraid that I'd get seasick or something, but I didn't. The fresh air and calm seas were breathtaking. We even saw dolphins a couple of times, swimming alongside the boat.

And as if that wasn't magical enough, shacking up in a luxurious beneath deck bunk...let's just say it was definitely all about the emotion of the ocean.

I was so glad we'd been able to do something special for Edward's day. I got him a couple of nice button downs for work, as well as a new wallet to replace his old one, which had been falling apart. He liked to say he didn't need anything, and maybe that was true, but I liked to give gifts.

All in all, it had been a blast. I hoped we could go again some day. I had about a gazillion pictures, so many that I'd used my camera instead of just my phone to capture it all.

"Bella! I'm throwing in a load. Want me to just add your clothes?" Jess shouted from the other end of the house.

"Okay," I called back, tempted to just go to sleep instead of showering. I felt gross, though. We'd had showers on the boat, obviously, but it wasn't the same. And we'd been too busy getting home today to bother with bathing, anyway.

Groaning, I pulled myself away from the inviting siren's call of my blankets and went to the bathroom.

Jessica joined me there a couple of minutes later.

"I am so tired," she said, sighing. "I swear, I hurt everywhere."

"Me too," I said, reaching for my razor.

"Jake said they used to sail all the time back in the day. It's harder now with everyone having jobs and stuff."

"I can imagine."

"I need a job, Bella."

I squinted at the leg I was shaving. "How long you planning on staying, Jess?"

She eased the shower curtain aside. "I don't know. Forever."

"You sure about that?"

"Why is it so weird? You did it," she shot back, accusation in her tone. "Who questioned you?"

"Almost everyone."

That took the wind right out of her sails. "Oh. Well. I just...I don't know. I like it here. My life was stale back home, Bell, come on. I had a crappy job and a crappy boyfriend and just... a lot of crap."

I laughed, shaking my head.

"Girl, I was drowning in boredom. You know this. I was living with my parents for God's sake!"

That was true; she'd moved back in with them after college. I rinsed the razor and started on leg number two. "I know. And I'd love for you to stay, however long you wanted. I just want you to stay for the right reasons, you know?"

"Like what?"

"Like...not for Jake."

"What's wrong with Jake?"

"Nothing. But...I'm afraid you'll get hurt again, and we're just so far from home."

"You sound like my mother."

I straightened up, rinsing off as I looked at her. "You told her you were staying?"

"I'm still here, aren't I?"

"Yes."

"So."

I closed my eyes as I conditioned my hair. It was a knotty, horrific mess after a week at sea. "I'm glad you're here, Jess. I'll help you get a job. It'll be fun."

"You mean it?"

"Yes, I mean it!" And I did. Having a friend from home, permanently, was exciting for me. "I love you...and I want you to be happy. If staying on St. Croix makes you happy, then rock on."

"Okay," she snorted, amused. "Hurry up in there. I need to shower, too."

"Hey, what does Jake think about you staying? Is he excited?"

"Yeah...he really is." She sighed, all dreamy-like. "I love him."

I turned the water off and squeezed out my hair. "You what, now?"

"I love him. I want to have like five of his cute little babies. They'd be all adorable and mixed and –"

"Please tell me you're still on birth control."

"I am." She glared at me. "I'm just saying."

We looked at each other for a minute. I shrugged, then flipped my hair so I could wrap it in a towel. "Your life. Let me know when the baby shower is."

"Oh, shut up."

* * *

"He says he loves her," Edward said, shrugging as he popped another peanut in to his mouth.

"Oh my God, and I thought _we_ were moving fast."

"We didn't move that fast," he said, frowning. "I mean, not really."

"Not too fast, but fast," I said. "And you know, people could have totally said the same ting about us and our relationship so I should probably just shut my mouth. If they're happy-in-love, then that's super."

"You're so full of shit," he laughed, feeding me a peanut.

"I'm not," I chuckled. "I'm being serious..."

"Mhm."

"Look. I know Jessica, and she has always been impetuous. And passionate. It's one of the reasons things got as out of control with Caius as they did."

"Jacob's not Caius, though."

"I know." I nodded. "He's really not. I guess...I'm used to him being kind of a dog, but he's been really sweet with Jess."

Edward smiled. "For what it's worth, he seems really in to her. Like, I can't remember the last time he was this in to someone. Maybe they'll be good for each other."

"It's so weird. We knew they'd hit it off," I said.

And they really had – since the very start, their chemistry had been off the charts. But it had been all sex, all the time. I shuddered, thinking about that now. The noise, the moaning...good Lord. If Edward hadn't asked me to move in with him that one night, I'd have been begging him, just to get away from the lovebirds. I didn't blame them for not wanting to be at Jake's, with his two brothers, but still.

"And now they just hit it," Edward said.

I rolled my eyes. "I knew you were gonna say something like that."

"Bella, your order's up," Emmett called, ringing the bell.

I blew Edward a kiss and left my spot beside the bar, going to the little window dividing the kitchen from the rest of the Pub. It was a slow day, but I didn't mind. Neither did Edward; it had been a couple of days but we were still recovering from our sailing trip.

I worked steadily in to the evening, handling no more than one or two tables at a time, chatting with Edward and Emmett in between. Jessica and Jacob came in near closing, setting up at a back table, where they played dominoes and drank beer until it was time to leave. She was nice and tan now, her hair streaked naturally from all of the sun. I couldn't help but observe them, noticing how gentle and affectionate Jake was with her, his deep laugh alongside her giggly one. It was funny, like watching a wolf with a kitten. Maybe they really were a perfect match, opposites attract and all that.

* * *

"So...I'm thinking maybe Jess can take over my lease. Unofficially. Jake practically lives there with her anyway; maybe we should just let them have it."

Edward chewed on the end of his pen thoughtfully. "You sure?"

"Edward, when last did I spend the night in my own bed?"

"When we came back from sailing."

"Yeah. Almost three weeks ago."

"Your lease is almost up, anyway."

"Exactly."

"Midnight would be happy."

The puppy wagged his tail and squirmed, hearing us mention him.

I smiled, scratching behind his ears. He was so tiny and cute, and still fit on my lap. I knew that wouldn't last long, so I was determined to make the most of it while I could.

"Would _you_ be happy?" I asked, arching an eyebrow.

"You know I would."

"Just making sure, before I lug all my stuff up the hill."

"Didn't I ask you to come, months ago?" He pushed away from his desk, resting his hands on his belly as he watched me, eyes dark and intent.

Midnight jumped off of my lap and scuttled away, probably after a lizard or something. The world was his playground, and he was forever chasing something.

Brushing myself off, I stood and went to Edward, crawling on to his lap so that I was facing him, legs dangling. He gripped my thighs, holding me securely as I locked my fingers around his neck and bent my head to kiss him.

We stayed that way, kissing and touching, until I tried snuggling closer, at which point the chair, which was on wheels, shifted sharply. I flailed, almost falling backward but for Edward's arms. He shook with laughter as I eased off, heart pounding from my almost-fall.

"Don't laugh," I cried, smacking his arm. "That could've really hurt." But I was laughed a little, too, blushing.

"Could've, but didn't, 'cause I had you."

I pulled him so that he was standing, and wrapped my arms around him.

"I've always had you, Bella."

"Aw. You always say the right things, don't you?"

I felt him shrug, his nose in my hair.

"And anyway..._I've _always had _you_," I retorted softly, rubbing my face against his chest, loving his smell.

"Always." His hands slid in to my back pockets, squeezing my buns through the denim, pressing me close. "So when're we doing this?"

"The move?"

"Yeah. You don't have too much stuff...you'll leave the furniture for Jessica, right?"

"I probably should. That makes the most sense."

"So..."

"I can start moving stuff tomorrow, before work" I said, biting my lip. "If that's okay."

"Of course it's okay, babe. I've really just...been waiting on you."

I allowed myself to feel the excitement, knowing I was actually going to be living here, in the lovely house, with Edward. Officially. I knew, deep down...and probably not so deep down...that this was probably the start of forever with him. I remembered my Mom telling me years before, after a broken heart, that when I found the right guy things would just fall in to place, like puzzle pieces. As cliché as that little platitude had sounded at the time, I had to admit now that it felt true.

* * *

_***sniffles* **_

_**winding down now. sigh.**_

_**"wish you were here" by incubus **_

_**would be a perfect sailing song. the words, the way it feels...**_

_**p.s this was just pointed out to me: the term 'mixed' in referring to a biracial person can be construed as a bit offensive to some.**_** i**_** am biracial. i have always referred to myself as mixed. everyone in the islands does, and did while we were growing up. there are TONS of mixed/biracial kids there, of all types. so. that said...jessica was not being ignorant, she was talking like her new friends do.**_

_**love.**_


	30. Beckon

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**storyline: Brighter **_

_**Word Prompt: Beckon**_

_**Dialogue Flex: "I need to cancel our appointment," he said.**_

_**NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

"So...is that all right, baby? You didn't have other plans did you?"

I had to smile at my mother's characteristic all-over-the-place-ness. She was a typical sanguine/phlegmatic personality combo: perpetually excited but unable to make decisions. During my childhood this had meant a string of new hobbies, uncompleted projects, and road trips. Had it not been for my father and his steadfast ways, and his desire to see me grow up nearby despite their divorce, she probably would've dragged me all around the country on one escapade after another.

Thankfully, though, my parents had always gotten along, and respected each other's wishes. They made things work, and even after their marriage had dissolved, they remained a team.

"Even if if I did have plans –which we don't, really, not yet –you and Dad would be welcome to join in. Come on, I haven't seen you guys since Christmas!"

"I know, I know. That's what I figured. But you know. My parents were always a little pushy, and..."

"Mom."

"Okay. Well, good. I'll go ahead and tell Charlie to buy the tickets."

"I can't wait," I said, grinning. Midnight put his paws on the bed, standing on his hind legs so he could see me. I reached down to pet him, letting him lick my hands.

"Neither can I!" she squealed. "I'd better go...I think something's burning...oh shoot..."

"Bye Mom."

"Bye, baby..." her voice faded as she disconnected, rather abruptly. If I could count the amount of times she'd left things on the stove unattended...seriously. It was a miracle there'd never been a house fire.

I had a precious day off, and the house all to myself. Edward had gone in early to do some inventory before his shift, but I knew he'd try to get home early. We didn't say it, but now that we worked most nights together, having to work without the other sucked. I didn't even care if it was codependent behavior; I was happy, dammit.

I'd been in the middle of cleaning when Renee had called, bubbling over with my birthday surprise...which wasn't really a surprise, since she was calling to tell me about it. She and Charlie wanted to come down the week of my birthday, finally deciding that a visit was not only possible but necessary. It was about time. I'd been badgering them for months.

Midnight whined at my feet. I stood up, wiping my brow with the bottom of my shirt. Even with the fans on and the screened windows wide open, it was hot and sticky. August was right in the middle of hurricane season, and whenever a big storm was brewing out at sea, things got still and airless. The trees outside stood still, not a whisper of movement to be heard.

"Oh, yuck." The puppy had peed on the floor. Hopping on one foot, I went to the bathroom to rinse my foot, grabbing some toilet paper as I was in there. Midnight stayed at my side, seemingly oblivious to the fact I was icked out by his mess, panting and nipping at my fingers as I wiped up the puddle. "You're lucky I haven't mopped in here yet," I muttered, scooping him up to bring outside.

Once he was roaming wild and free in Edward's...our...vast back yard, which we'd recently put a fence around to keep the puppy safe, I came back inside to finish cleaning. I was almost done, and I looked forward to taking a cool shower and vegging out with a book. Maybe I'd Betty Crocker it up and made cookies or something sweet for later. Edward was a sucker for that kind of treatment.

Edward had offered to get a housekeeper, just someone who came every one or two weeks to scour the house, but I wasn't sure we needed that. After all, we were young, and had no children. Helping take care of what was now my home was kind of...satisfying. Maybe that would wear off in a couple of months, but for now, I was okay with doing it myself.

I was in the shower when my cell phone rang. Cursing lightly, I shut the water off and wiped my hand before reaching for it. Missed call: Edward.

Stepping carefully out, I quickly dried off and called him back. He answered promptly.

"Hey...Bella... hold on a sec, okay?"

"Okay."

"_No, tomorrow won't work_." He was talking to someone else; I could hear another male voice in the background. _"Well, then I need to cancel our appointment," _he said. The other person must have asked him another question, because he sighed, loudly. _"Then you're gonna have to recommend someone else, man. I specifically asked to meet Wednesday..."_

I set the phone down so I could wrap my hair in a towel to keep it from dripping everywhere.

"Bella? You there?"

"Hey."

"Thought I'd lost you...sorry about that. You knew how it is with these guys."

"Which guys?"

"The band. Remember, we were going to have those new kids audition later on? See if their stuff was a good fit for the Pub?"

I nodded, remembering. "The ones Marcus recommended?"

"Yeah. No call, no show yesterday and then the lead guy just pops up today..."

He ranted for awhile, complaining about the lack of professionalism. Eventually he sighed, running out of steam. "Sorry, babe. I'm just...frustrated."

"I know; it's okay. The rest of your day been okay?"

"Not really, but whatever. What've you been up to?"

" Cleaning. I spoke to my mom earlier."

"Yeah? How's she doing?"

"She's good," I said, smiling. "She and Charlie are coming down for my birthday."

"Together?" he chuckled. "They're so funny like that."

"I know," I said, shaking my head. "It's like they're still married; it's weird. But anyway, I figured they could stay in the extra bedrooms..."

"What're the dates?"

I gave him the details, we chatted a little longer, and then hung up.

He came home not two hours later, much to my non-surprise. He'd sounded stressed earlier, and I knew that sometimes when he got that way taking time off was the best option, especially if the bar was covered.

* * *

If Edward was nervous about meeting my parents, he surely didn't act like it when they came down a few weeks later.

And if my father was suspicious of Edward or feeling overly protective of me, he didn't show _that_. Instead, everyone got along pretty beautifully.

Then Edward arranged for a charter to take Charlie deep sea fishing on his second day, and that sealed the deal. They left early in the morning and returned around dusk, sunburnt and chummy, full of stories.

Edward gave me some time off so that I could give my parents the various island tours. Jessica came along sometimes, tickling my parents with her new islandy ways. She worked for one of the glass bottom boat tour companies now, and managed to get all of us free trips. I didn't think I'd ever seen my mother as mellowed out happy as she was on this trip. I teased her, saying if she wasn't careful she might get sucked in to the same vortex that Jess and I had, but I knew it would never happen. She and Charlie were way too comfy and content living their Seattlelite lives.

They did, however, vow to return at least once a year.

On the day of my birthday, Jess, Laurie, Irina and Alice came over to help Renee and me decorate for the get together we were throwing that evening.

Alice, who was super creative, showed us how to fasten handles to Mason jars, which we then filled with tea lights and hooked to as many tree branches as we could reach. Next, we lined the perimeter of the yard with tiki torches and little blue solar lights. (Those were compliments of Esme, who, after hearing from Edward how much I adored them, sent down several boxes as a "housewarming gift" to celebrate my moving in.) Rachel and Leah sat on a blanket in the corner of the lawn, "babysitting" little Lucas while he chilled in his play-yard. Born in late June, the baby favored his father with his wispy blond halo of curls and bright blue eyes. I told Alice he was a pretty swoony little guy, sure to be a heartbreaker one day. Edward, Jasper and Jake were in charge of the food and drinks, which they brought early enough so that there would be plenty of libations to go around pre-party. That was another area in which Edward had my father's respect: his knowledge and appreciation of good beer.

Midnight ran circles, getting in to everything until Edward got fed up and put him inside the house while we finished up.

"Bella, why don't you go get ready?" Renee asked, taking me by the arm.

"I...okay." I blew my hair from my face, looking around the back yard. It was always a lovely space, but now, it had been transformed in to a lit up wonderland. I couldn't recall the last time I'd had an actual birthday party. We usually just went out for drinks or dinner.

"Go ahead, baby," she encouraged. "We're pretty much done, anyway."

I nodded, turning to go inside. Edward passed by on his way out, all sweaty and yummy looking.

"You gonna go shower?"

"Yeah...wanna join me?" I teased, smacking his butt as I continued on.

His soft laugh echoed down the hall, disappearing as he went outside.

I wasn't expecting him to take me up on my offer, sliding in next to me a few minutes later. Squealing in surprise, I slid my arms around him, kissing his face.

"You know we have, like, a ton of guests, right?" I said, letting him corner me, late day sunlight glowing golden down through the glass above.

"Maybe you'll think twice before you beckon me with those bedroom eyes and them seductive words, ma'am" he drawled, licking my neck.

It was a very good thing our bathroom was on the opposite end of the house from the back yard festivities, because we were about to do some private partying of our own.

Things had cooled down as the sun went down, and I stretched my legs out on the blanket, enjoying the gentle breeze. Surrounded by lights, music, and friends, I celebrated my twenty third birthday, appreciating the simplicity and the good feelings.

Things were low key, hence my bare feet and the glass of wine balanced lazily between my fingertips. Edward sat down next to me, kissing my cheek.

"Enjoying yourself?" he asked.

I nodded, beaming. We'd just cut the cake and everyone had spread out once more, talking in small groups.

"I got Midnight a new collar for your birthday," he said, pointing. He clapped his hands to get the dog's attention, whistling when that didn't work.

Giggling, I watched our puppy bound toward us, his big ol' tongue lolling out.

"Aww," I cooed, grabbing him and putting his squirmy little body between ours on the blanket. There was a...message of sorts, attached to the collar. Frowning, I unhooked it and opened it.

_Will you marry me?_

I froze, heart pounding, hands shaking. Beside me, I felt Edward move, and when I finally looked up at him, through blurry eyes, he was on his knees, holding a ring. I was aware of the silence that had fallen all around us...even the music had been turned down...and I wondered how long he –they – had been planning this.

"Yes," I whispered, wanting to say so much more but unable to because I was crying, and he was laughing, and the people we loved were cheering and clapping as he took me in to his arms.

* * *

**_I'm a little in love with love, in case you can't tell._**


	31. Bistro

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**Story - Brighter**_

_**Prompt - bistro**_

_**NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

The day before my parents went back to Seattle, we spent the day in Frederisksted, at Rainbow Beach. Edward brought his jetski, and gave my parents rides. Renee was a nervous nellie at first, but after while we couldn't get her off the thing. She even took it out by herself.

There was a bar and restaurant right on the beach, so we stayed for lunch, leaving only when the sun started its slow descent, a sinking sphere hovering heavily over the horizon.

"People go fishing off that pier?" Charlie asked, as we drove past on the way out of Frederiksted. Sometimes cruise ships or navy ships docked there, but right now, it was empty.

"All the time," Edward said, pulling in to a parking space that looked out over the water. "Come on, I'll show you."

Wrapped in towels and still wet from "one last dip" at the beach, we left the truck and walked down the pier, where there were, in fact, several men scattered up and down, fishing.

My father nodded in approval, rubbing his mustache. "Nice to be able to do this all year. Good weather."

"Yup." Edward grabbed my hand. I felt him thumb my ring, and we looked each one another, smiling. We'd been engaged for just a few days, and already it felt like we always had been and always would be. Well, not always engaged...we'd be married...but basically our togetherness just felt really natural and timeless.

"You wanna jump in?" He asked, bringing me to the edge. Further down, toward the end of the pier, a large group of kids was doing just that: running and leaping in to the sparkling water.

I grinned, shaking my head. "Ah, I don't know..." It was a long way down. Kind of. At least I could see what was down there; even this late in the day, the water remained deeply clear, lapping gently against the concrete of the pier.

"Everyone does it," Edward cajoled, dropping his towel and kicking off his flip flops.

"You guys have to jump, too," I called over my shoulder.

Charlie snorted, waving me off, and Renee just giggled, shaking her head. "Kid's stuff. That's all you, baby."

"Bella..." Edward unwrapped my damp towel and placed it next to his. "It's a rite of passage. Every kid who grows up here does this."

"But I didn't grow up here," I whispered, tangling our fingers together as we stepped closer. A soft breeze blew my hair around my face.

"But our kids will, and what will you tell them when they ask?" he said, elbowing me.

My stomach flipped, and I gazed up at him, grinning, goofy. Play dough. Putty. That's what I was in this man's hands. He always knew exactly what to say... "Okay."

"Okay?"

I nodded.

We took a couple of steps back and then made a run for it, jumping in to the great blue beyond.

I shrieked all the way down.

* * *

"So you'll keep me informed as to what's going on," my mother said as we pulled in to the airport. "I don't want to hear second hand from Angela or...or Facebook or something that you and Edward eloped in Martinique or something."

"Mom, I would never," I laughed, squeezing her shoulders.

"Ouch." She winced, patting her sunburnt skin.

"Whoops, sorry...forgot..."

"It's okay, baby."

"Anyway, I promise I'll keep in touch. I'll need your help, anyway."

"All right."

We pulled up to the curb, and in a scene that was becoming remarkably familiar, Edward and I saw my parents off after exchanging hugs, kisses and promises.

"Hey, don't cry..." Edward opened my door, letting go of the handle to thumb my tears away.

"I know...I just...I'm silly," I mumbled, feeling more like my mother every day. She'd cried every time I'd left to spend the weekend with Charlie – even though he lived on the other side of town, for God's sake – as well as every time I'd gone on a class trip or something. In fact, the only time she _hadn't_ cried was when I'd come on vacation to St. Croix...and then I ended up staying there. So of course she cried this time, leaving, which set me off.

"I'm actually really happy," I said, once Edward was beside me and we were driving away. "Their visit was pretty perfect. I'm really glad you guys got along."

"They're great," he said. "I don't see how anyone could _not_ get along with your parents. They're so easy going...they even get along with each other and they're divorced."

"Ha, good point," I said, nodding. "But you know, Charlie doesn't take to everyone that easily. He can be a hard-ass when he wants to."

"Well, then I'm glad I could pass muster."

"Me too," I said, smiling.

* * *

I was picking up lunch from Salud Bistro a couple days later when my phone rang, forcing me to excuse myself from the cash register.

"Edward?"

"Hey, babe –where are you now?"

"Just about to leave Salud; why, what's up?"

"That tropical depression just became a tropical storm, and it's looking like it might get nasty tonight. We're all thinking of closing up a little early tonight."

He'd said this happened sometimes. The storm we were expecting was nowhere near hurricane force, but it would still be windy and rainy enough to cause a mess, and the power would very likely go out. Being right on the water, most of the restaurants and business on the boardwalk had been discussing closing early tonight anyway. Edward had played with the idea of having a hurricane party, but now that we'd upgraded from depression to storm, that idea was out. We'd have to "party" at home.

"Okay...do you want me to come by and help or just meet you at home?"

"Maybe just...grab a few supplies from Pueblo? The power'll probably go out at home, too. Make sure you get extra batteries."

"Will do. Love you."

"Love you too."

We hung up, and I rushed back inside to pay and pick up the food.

An hour later, I pulled up to the house. Midnight had been holding down the fort all day and now he was anxious to be let outside. Because of our schedules, he generally only had to stay indoors for the afternoon hours, and sometimes Alice and the kids would go up to let him out. Me being home early was a treat for him, and he jumped excitedly, almost making me drop the bags of food.

By the time Edward made it home, the skies were heavy and grey, and in the distance, the ocean churned angrily, capped with white as far as the eye could see.

"Was the traffic awful?" I asked, as he kissed me.

"Not really. Kind of quiet, actually."

"Really? I'd have thought people would be rushing around."

"They probably were, a little, but this is typical for this time of year."

"Huh."

"I mean, we don't get storms every year, but, it's life, you know?"

I nodded, running my hands through his hair. "Want me to microwave your food? It got cold..."

"For sure. I'm starving."

He washed his hands and grabbed a couple of beers from the fridge, popping them open as I set our late lunches down on the table. Outside, the wind began to pick up, howling and whistling through the eaves.

"We should shower before the power goes out," Edward said, around a mouthful of food.

"Do you think it'll get bad?" I asked, slightly nervous.

He shook his head. "Nah. But power outtages are so normal down here. Any little thing. We have a generator, but I'd prefer not to use it unless it's an absolute emergency."

I nodded, swallowing down a bite of food. "Makes sense. You go first; I'll clean up in here."

"You and your cleaning..." he chuckled, wiping his face with a napkin.

"Hey, if the power really does go out, I don't want to have a nasty kitchen that I can't clean," I protested, grimacing at the thought. He was right – I was a little obsessed with cleanliness, but come on! Ants and roaches I could do without.

He drained his beer and stood, stretching as he smiled slyly down at me. "Don't take too long..."

I smirked at his expression, loving that he always wanted me as much as I wanted him. I didn't know if that would change with time, age or children, but I suspected we were enough of a good match that we'd be okay. Even if things slowed down...I'd always want him.

In bed, later, after a shower, and slow, giggly sex (he wouldn't stop tickling me), and another shower, and a power outtage, we sprawled out above the covers, listening to the wind batter the house outside. Inside, things were cozy and sweet, the air fragrant with the scent of just-blown-out candles.

"I want to get married on the beach," I said, running my hands over the fine hair on his chest.

"I knew you would."

"I want all of my friends to come. Maybe even Peter."

"Oh, jeez...not that guy..."

"He's one of my best friends," I laughed. "But I... I'll understand if you don't want him there. I guess it's just, I feel like if it wasn't for him, we might not have met."

"We would've met somehow, some way."

"Yeah, probably. Although I don't see how."

"If he comes he has to stay on the other side of the island."

I giggle-snorted in to his arm, pinching him. "He's engaged to Charlotte Delaney, anyway."

"Who is...?"

"This girl...I always knew she liked him. Always. It's not surprising they ended up together."

"That was fast."

"I guess."

"Bet she's nothing like you."

"She's not; she's tiny and has red hair...dainty and pretty, like a porcelain doll."

"Sounds like you know her well."

"I do. She was my roommate freshman year."

"Small world."

"Indeed."

"How's you find out?"

"Well...Ange told me. And then Pete emailed me and told me. Then I saw it on Facebook."

"Gotta love Facebook."

"Speaking of which, I updated my relationship status to 'engaged'."

"I noticed that." Edward's hands found me in the darkness, and he pulled me close, kissing my eyelid. "Where's your mouth?"

Laughing quietly, I nuzzled our faces together 'til our lips met.

"So...which beach?" he asked after a moment.

"I don't know yet. You have to help me pick," I said, hitching my leg over his hip. It was getting chilly, so I leaned down to cover our legs with the blanket.

"The Buccaneer is nice..."

"That hotel?"

"Yeah, but...they do weddings on the beach. Nice ones. I went to one once."

"Hm...I'll have to see it."

"We'll go. Together."

"Okay." I kissed him, pulling down on top of me. Teasing kisses grew intense, and I wrapped my legs around him, even though I could still _feel_ him from just a little while before.

"You trying to go for round two?" he teased, squeezing my hip.

"Nothing else to do," I teased back, biting his lower lip.

His mouth went to my neck, and I felt myself melting against him again, still sensitive to his touch.

"When should we do it?" I whispered, holding his face.

"What? Check out the Buccaneer?"

"Get married."

"Oh." He was silent for just a second. "Soon."

* * *

_**no, charlie and renee were not "married in ch 19 and 20". if you read closely, it never says that (it does, however, state earlier in the story that they are divorced). they are, like my own weirdo parents, divorced but extremely chummy and close. they travel together and hang out and generally defer to one another. it's odd, but it happens.**_

_**xoxo**_


	32. Trophy

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**storyline: Brighter**_

_**prompt -trophy**_

_**NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

One year after I met Edward Cullen, he asked me to marry him.

And six months after he asked me to marry him, I became his wife.

For the months leading up to the ceremony, little changed. I planned ahead, working on my guest list, figuring out decorations and costs, and securing a venue, but it was nothing like the spectacle I'd seen some of my friends go through on their big days.

But as time whittled away, and we came down to the very last month, things got a little hectic. I was determined not become an involuntary bridezilla, but it was crazy the amount of things that could go wrong.

With a couple of weeks to go, the florist called and said they couldn't handle the order –why they'd only realized then I had no idea –and I had to rush to find another. My dress didn't fit properly; I'd lost weight due to nerves I hadn't realized I'd had until...well...until I realized I had them. It was either pig out or have it taken in a bit, so, back to the seamstress I went. Mrs. Hodge was a little old Cruzan lady who'd come highly recommended by anyone who knew anything. She fussed over me, encouraging me to eat so I didn't look "too skinny", but dealt with my dress free of charge.

Meanwhile, Jessica and Jacob went through their first real drama. Apparently, she'd caught him out at the club one night, _whining up_ with "some ho". One screaming match later, they'd made up with Jacob's gifts of groveling, guava tarts and tons of "hot sex". Unlike me, Jess was _all_ about dishing the lurid details. I had to beg her to stop.

Our honeymoon was going to be a week long stay in Puerto Rico, so as we got down to crunch-time, Edward was always busy at the Pub, making sure everything was handled for his impending absence: inventory was stocked, schedules were made, and there were extra people on hand. We were back in the season, and the days –and nights –were busy and long.

Two weeks before the big day, my mother came down. A couple days after that came Carlisle and Esme (who insisted on staying in a hotel despite our pleas to stay with us), and then Charlie. Angela, my maid of honor, brought Ben down early, wanting to experience St. Croix with him. The rest of our friends, mine and Edward's both, trickled in day by day, including Peter, who brought Charlotte.

Initially, we'd wanted to have the wedding at the Buccaneer, but our chosen date, as well as the weekend after, was taken, so we had to find someplace else. This was probably the best thing that could've happened, because when we returned to Davis Bay, to see the Carambola Resort, I knew that we just had to have it. The North Shore has long been my favorite part of the island, and the beach was absolutely gorgeous. I could already envision the pictures of our sunset ceremony.

Plus, Edward had connections, so we got a great deal on the romantic beachside villas, where we and our out of town guests would stay the night of the wedding. He'd even gotten a room for me and the girls to get ready in.

The night before the wedding, we decided to play it traditional, allowing our friends and family to split us up. Edward went off with our fathers and his boys while I headed to Carambola early with our mothers and the girls.

"Have fun," he said, leaning down to kiss me in the driver's seat. I'd finally upgraded to a new car, an SUV perfect for the potholes and dirt roads of St. Croix. Edward had insisted upon it months back when my junker died yet again on Christmas Eve, leaving me stranded in the supermarket parking lot .

"You too," I said, giving him another kiss.

His eyes twinkled, and he was about to lean in for more when Emmett yanked him back by the t-shirt.

"Enough, dude. Let's go."

I stuck my tongue out at them and started the car. "Behave yourselves."

"Don't worry...we won't let the strippers touch him," Emmett promised, waggling his eyebrows. "Much."

I made a face, hoping they were joking about strippers, and rolled up my window.

"We should get strippers," Rosalie huffed from the backseat. "And take pictures."

I snorted, turning around in the driveway. "I'm good, thanks."

"Nothing wrong with a little fun," Renee said, eyeing me. "Aunt Mindy got me strippers for my bachelorette party –"

"Gross. Mom, please."

"No, go on, Renee," Irina shouted from somewhere in the back. "I want to hear this."

We did not, in fact, get strippers (and neither did the boys, as evidenced from Edward's increasingly drunk confessional texts as the night went on) but we did party it up at the hotel bar before going to my villa, where we had a bachelorette slumber party.

I'd thought we'd just be eating pretty cake and watching girly movies and crap, but no. Jessica and Angela started things off with margaritas and gift bags full of vulgar goodies and things sort of deteriorated from there.

When Jessica whipped out the penis shaped pinata, I lost it, laughing so hard I started crying. And then we were all giggle-crying, mainly because we were three sheets to the wind, even Esme and Renee, but also because it was an emotional time. I was getting married, for God's sake.

Married.

* * *

"Bella, wake up! Wake up!"

I snapped up, awoken harshly by Alice, who was shaking me.

"What? What time is it?" I mumbled, rubbing my face. I'd fallen asleep sitting up, in an armchair, in my clothes from the night before, and my neck hurt. Around me, in a sea of ripped wrapping paper, empty glasses and...sex toys...the girls were waking up, looking as out of it as I felt. In the corner hung the penis pinata, ironically the only un-battered thing in the room, a trophy from our night of debauchery.

I giggled at it, covering my mouth.

"Ten. But your hair appointment is at eleven, right?" Alice had been with us the night before, but she'd gone home at some point to be with the kids. Good thing, too, because God knew when we'd have gotten up without her.

"Shit," I said, standing up. I was slightly hung over, but hopefully that was nothing a greasy breakfast wouldn't fix. "Yeah. Lemme just...take a quick shower."

Angela followed me in to the bathroom. "Oh, my goodness, I'm soooo sorry, I was supposed to be the one keeping things together!"

"Shh, it's fine, Ange," I said, waving her away. "We'll be fine. Let's just...do this."

I ended up being five minutes late for my appointment, stuffing an Egg McMuffin down as I walked through the door, but it didn't matter because the hairdresser was running behind, too. Typical for St. Croix; it was called island time for a reason. She was nice, though, and we went with an elegant, side fishtail braid, tiny white flowers woven in to it. It was just the look I wanted, and I loved it.

Afterward, I picked my dress up from Mrs. Hodge, who'd kept it for safekeeping, and then headed back to Carambola, where I met up with the girls for a light lunch at the restaurant. Rose gave me a french mani-pedi while Angela and Alice did my makeup, and then we all got dressed.

Something borrowed: diamond stud earrings that had been my grandmother's. Something blue: my garter, compliments of Angela.

Mom, of course, cried when she saw me in my dress while Esme stood back, taking pictures. The professional photographer had arrived a little while before, to capture behind the scenes type moments, but Esme had been at it since the night before.

I kind of cringed, thinking of what last night's pictures looked like, to be honest.

And then it was four o'clock. Show time.

My nerves were at a slow simmer, keeping me in a constant state butterflies. There was a quiet knock at the door, and then Charlie walked in, his face pink at the overload of femininity in the room, while we all gushed over his handsomeness.

"Bella," he said, finally, smiling at me. He took my hand, and I kissed his cheek, making sure to rub away the smudge of lipstick I'd left.

"Hi, Daddy."

"You look..." He shook his head, overcome.

I took a deep breath, and Angela appeared at my side, delicately dabbing at my eyes so I wouldn't cry.

"You look...not like a little girl. You're beautiful. More than that, but, you know," he said, clearing his throat. "You ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be," I said, accepting his offered arm.

We stepped outside and walked to where we'd wait 'til it was our turn to walk, taking our place at the back of the line as the music started. Being so near the ocean had its advantages, like the breeze blowing in off the water, keeping the warmth at bay. I watched, swallowing back the lump in my throat repeatedly, as my best friends walked ahead in matching dresses.

Then Rachel and Leah Whitlock forged a path for us in petals, and my father and I walked down the aisle, a bamboo runner laid down over the sand.

Edward. God, he was gorgeous. He looked so serious, and in that second, images from our past flooded me.

The first night we'd met, in a busy bar. Exchanging words at the Full Moon party, when he'd tried to scare me off. The countless looks we'd shared when we'd both belonged to someone else, and then the shift when that began to not matter anymore. The look on his face when he'd kissed me for the first time...loved me for the first time...told me he'd loved me, for the first time.

It was overwhelming.

Charlie and I paused, and he squeezed my hand tight before giving it over to Edward.

We stared, caught in each other's gaze, probably acknowledging the gravity of what we were about to do. I saw his eyes flicker over my dress, and I smiled, which triggered a smile from him, and then we turned to Big Beard, the captain and minster residing over our wedding.

We exchanged vows, a simple mix of traditional and personal sentiments. It was so surreal to look at Edward and say these things in front of everyone, but things became very real when we were pronounced man and wife. We kissed to a setting sun, and applause.

* * *

The reception was a whirlwind.

We danced until our feet hurt. Bubbled over in champagne, toasts and laughter. Shared a creamy, tiered cake adorned in white chocolate seashells. Took at least a thousand pictures, between the photographer, photo booth, and personal cameras. Edward made me melt when he slow danced with Leah, only to scandalize me minutes later when he copped a feel during the garter search.

Jessica and Irina fought playfully over the bouquet, only to be bested by Angela, who snapped it right out of their hands.

By the time Edward and I retired to our villa, a special honeymoon suite right on the water, Edward's shirt was partly unbuttoned and I was barefoot, my hair halfway loose. We shared a shower, and drank champagne straight from the bottle, and fell in to bed lightheaded, naked and happy.

"As much as I liked that dress, I like this better," he said, dropping wet kisses down the length of my body.

I shivered, smiling.

"But, when I saw you today, when you came out with your dad...it was like an out of body experience."

"Well, good...that's what I was going for." I sighed, swoony, delighted. "And, I love you too. So much."

He kissed one hipbone, and then the other. I ran my fingers through his damp hair, letting the happy ache in my heart effloresce into a giddy sort of need. He kissed between my legs until I came, and then entered me in a quick thrust, searing my mouth with his.

"I'm glad you chose me," he whispered.

"You were the only choice," I whispered, holding his face. "I knew we'd end up like this. My heart knew. The first time I saw you, it was like...a chapter of my life closed. And another began."

* * *

_**Their wedding night jam is Usher's "Here Comes My Baby". it's so fantastically horny/sexy/baby-making/appreciating your woman. i always wanna dirty dance to it. in my mind.**_

_**"whining up" - grinding up while dancing. caribbean men love to do this, lol.**_

_**Big Beard really does weddings on STX, and a girl i know really did have a penis piñata at her bachelorette party D: i won't go in to what other "party favors" she had.**_

_**one, maybe 2 more chapters left.**_

_**thanks for the love, all. you certainly make my day ~brighter.**_


	33. Buckle

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

**storyline: Brighter**

**prompt - buckle**

**NOT BETA'D**

* * *

**_About a year later..._**

_Today_

* * *

I pulled in to the gas station and cut the engine, lost in thought.

Gas...six pack...card...

Nope. Not enough. She was hurt, yeah, but she was also pissed off, I could tell. Bella was super low key, the opposite of high maintenance, but I'd have to pull out the big guns for this one.

Sighing heavily, I left the truck and went inside to pay, racking my brain.

I paid for the gas, grabbed the six pack, and, on a whim, a couple of Snickers bars. I had a feeling she'd want one of those, if nothing else.

A guy I knew nodded at me as we passed each other, back out by the pumps. I wondered if he'd ever messed up like this. Leaning against the truck, I absently started pumping gas, mind still elsewhere.

Damn.

I hadn't meant to, but...I'd forgotten our first anniversary.

* * *

_Two days ago_

* * *

Gritting my teeth, I stared down at the mess Midnight had made. Technically, he was no longer a puppy, but sometimes he still acted like one.

Shit like this really tempted me to just leave him in the backyard over night, teach him a lesson. He was Bella's big, spoiled baby, though. Even if I did punish him, she'd sneak him back inside at some point. Kneeling down, I started shoveling trash back in to the garbage bin. It was everywhere. What the hell had he been looking for?

Ah, of course. We'd been eating in bed the other night; the trash probably smelled like food. You'd swear we never fed the damn dog. I was just about done when something caught my eye, something that had nearly gotten lost underneath the bed.

My breath left me as I pulled out the pregnancy test. I didn't know what two lines meant...was it two of two or two of three? Dammit, why couldn't they make these things simpler, like a happy face or something? Although, maybe not being pregnant was a happier result for some people than being pregnant... I shook my head, going back to the trash ban.

Yup, there it was. A pink box: _First Response._

My heart was really going full force now. Wiping sweaty palms down my jeans, I looked inside the box, at the balled up directions. There was another test jammed in there, too, with matching double pink lines.

Okay. So, unless someone else had been pissing in our bathroom, according to the two of these, Bella was...pregnant.

We were pregnant.

Holy Shit.

Don't get me wrong: our anniversary was a big deal to me. I wanted to do something special, take Bella out or something.

But when I saw those pregnancy tests, I kind of freaked out. Not because I didn't want kids, because I did. It's just...wow. What a way to find out. I couldn't understand why she hadn't told me yet. Back when Alice got pregnant for the first time, she'd texted Jasper a picture of her test. I remembered; he'd showed me.

Had Bella just taken these last night? I thought back to how she'd been acting then, and that morning...nothing had seemed off. But then again, I hadn't been looking for anything.

Either way, I was caught off guard. All I could think about was Bella possibly, probably, being pregnant, and her not telling me, and wanting her to tell me, and just being really excited. And overwhelmed. Was she overwhelmed? And then I started worrying that maybe she didn't want this yet, and that she felt resentful or something.

I went through most of the day in a daze, operating on auto pilot. Our lives were about to change, big time. It was time to buckle down, get ready for this next stage. I wanted to be a Dad; Bella and I had often discussed one day having kids. This was a little earlier than we'd planned for, but that was okay.

And the more I thought about it, the less worried I was. It would be okay.

_We'll be okay. We'll be _great_._

* * *

_One day ago_

* * *

She still hadn't said anything.

I was on pins and needles, waiting for her. This wasn't our style. We didn't keep things bottled up, play games. Never had. Was she waiting to surprise me?

Or was she nervous?

I was off in la la land, scrubbing down the bar...again...thinking. Endlessly thinking. I'd had to head in to the Pub earlier than usual; neither Maggie nor Irina could open, and it was kind of a last minute thing. Bella was scheduled to come in later on for her usual shift, so...maybe she'd tell me then.

Tell me something. Anything.

She'd been in a funny mood when I'd left today, quiet. Definitely not playful, like usual. No morning sex when I tried to initiate. Said she was "tired", which was code for PMS-y, or bitchy or...pregnant. Not that I was supposed to know that. I doubt I would have noticed any of this had I not been watching her so closely. And the fact that I wouldn't have even known had Midnight not trashed the bathroom...it made me a little ill. I felt like Bella was lying to me, lying by omission.

But she was my wife. My girl. My best friend. She had to have reason.

She didn't notice me notice her sticking to water later on, when everyone else was having a beer.

* * *

_Today_

* * *

I awoke to Bella's smiling face. It...made my stomach feel funny. Excited.

This was it. She was gonna tell me.

"Hey," I rasped, voice thick with sleep.

"Hey," she said, touching my face.

We sorta looked at each other, smiling. Then I noticed the scent of bacon. I glanced down at the breakfast tray, realizing right as she said, "Happy Anniversary, babe."

Panic clutched my heart. _Shit, shit shit!_ All of my stressing and over-thinking and stupidness for the past two days had completely taken my mind off of our anniversary. Oh no. No.

Bella's face fell. She sat back on her knees. "Did you...did you forget?"

I paused, shaking my head. I hadn't forgotten, not really...I'd remembered up until a couple of days ago, when this baby thing threw me for a loop. "No..." I was prevaricating, and we both knew it.

"You totally did," she said softly, looking down.

"Bella..."

She shook her head and moved away, sliding off of the bed. I followed her, right up to the bathroom door, which she closed quietly, but firmly, in my face.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I...didn't really forget...I've had my mind on stuff lately. Just..." I pressed my ear to the door, trying to hear. "Let me in, please?"

Nothing.

God, what an idiot. Originally, I'd planned to bring her back to the Waves, where we'd had our first date. Nothing over the top, just really special to the two of us. But in the wake of the tidal wave that was Our Baby, I'd forgotten all about making a reservation. I'd been so, so distracted. And that wasn't like me.

I knocked softly, antsy with anxiety. We almost never fought. On the other side of the door, the shower went on.

I scrubbed my hand over my face and turned back to our bed, looking at the food. Bella had made me bacon and eggs, bagels and cut up fruit. I should've done this for her, not the other way around. But that was my girl, always taking care of me. I sat down, taking a piece of cantaloupe, wondering if I should just leave, or if I should eat and wait her out. On one hand, I was feeling a little too sheepish and guilty to eat it, but on the other, it would be rude and ungrateful to leave it.

Finally I picked it up and brought it back to the kitchen, where I polished it off. I pulled a t shirt on, switched sweatpants for cargoes, and hit the road.

And so now there I was, shuffling around a dusty gas station like the clueless asshole that I was, trying to figure out how I could possibly make things up to Bella. A woman across the street was selling fresh fruit, and I loved that, so after looking both ways I jogged over to see what she had.

Avocado, mango, and little bananas.

"Good morning," I said, smiling a little.

"Mahnin," she replied, smiling back. "What can I get ya?"

I pointed out what I wanted, chatting with her while she bagged it. A plastic container sat on the corner, nearly hidden by produce.

"How much for tamarind balls?"

"Fifty cent."

"How much for the whole thing?"

"Whole ting? You crazy?" she chuckled, picking it up. There had to have been at least thirty or forty tamarind balls inside. My mouth watered just thinking about their sweet-sour tang.

I nodded, shrugging. "For my wife. She's...pregnant."

It felt weird saying it out loud, especially since Bella hadn't even confirmed it yet, but I knew it was true.

The woman broke out in to the biggest smile ever, nodding. "Just gimme ten."

"You sure?"

She sucked her teeth, thrusting the container at me. "And five for the fruit."

I handed her a twenty, anyway, and waved. "Thanks. Enjoy the day."

"You too, dahlin."

I tried one in the truck; they were just as good as they'd looked. Nodding to myself, I started the car and drove to town. I called home, just in case.

Bella answered on the first ring. "Where'd you go?"

"I had to get something...I'll be home as soon as I can."

"Oh."

"I promise. Bella, I'm so sorry about today."

"It's...okay."

"It's not. But I'll make it up to you."

"Just hurry up."

So I did.

About forty minutes later I swung in to the driveway and ran inside, barely missing Midnight, who nearly tripped me in his excitement.

Bella was sitting in bed, looking at something on her computer. Taking a deep breath, I handed her a bouquet of flowers and a gift bag.

"Happy Anniversary, Bella."

Biting her lip, she put her laptop aside and accepted the flowers.

"Star lilies," she breathed, closing her eyes and brushing her cheek over the petals.

I nodded. It was a replica of her bridal bouquet. My father had always done this for my mother on their anniversary, and it had stayed with me. Judging by the little smile on Bella's face, it had been a good place to start.

Opening her eyes, she put the bouquet down and reached for the bag.

She probably saw the tamarind balls first, because she laughed loudly as she pulled them out. "What is this – are you nuts?"

"That's what the lady I got them from asked me."

She took a bite of one, then popped it in to her mouth. "Mm..."

'"I don't know if you remember..."

"Of course I remember," she said, swallowing. "You got these for me once. Before we started dating."

I nodded, licking my lips.

"I've been craving these lately," she said quietly.

My heart thumped. Blushing, she put the tamarind balls aside and went back in to the bag, this time pulling out a blue pouch. She slid out the chaney ring I'd gotten her and smiled, sliding it on to her finger right away. She still wore the chaney bracelet I'd given her way back.

"This is so pretty," she whispered. "Thank you."

I sat down beside her, taking her hand. "And...we have reservations for dinner at the Waves."

"Our first date," she said, eyes shining with tears. Good tears, I hoped.

"I –"

"This is all us. Memories," she interrupted, fingering the ring. "You've always been so thoughtful like that."

"I feel really shitty about today."

She shrugged. "It doesn't seem like you to forget...but whatever. I love this. All of it." Plucking another tamarind ball from the container, she took a little bite, closing her eyes. "Mm. Love it. I bet you had one of these already, didn't you?"

"Maybe," I said, smiling. I leaned forward and kissed her sugary mouth.

We kissed for a minute before I pulled back, tucking her hair behind her ear. "I'm gonna grab a beer. You want one?"

She shook her head. I didn't really want one, either, but I was determined to make her spill.

"Why not?" I asked, staring her dead in the eye.

She blushed, but looked right back at me.

"When were you gonna tell me, Bella?"

She covered her face with her hands, and, alarmed, I sat back down, putting my arms around her. "What is so bad that you can't tell me?" I asked, suddenly terrified that there was some crazy complication I hadn't even considered.

"I'm pregnant," she whispered.

I touched her hand. "I know."

"It's so soon; we didn't..." She straightened up and looked at me, her face all splotchy and red. "We were gonna wait a little longer."

"Well, we _were_, but I mean..."

"I don't know –"

"I thought," I shook my head slowly, slightly confused by her reaction. "Aren't you happy?"

"Yes," she cried. "I am."

"Did you think_ I _was going to be upset?" I asked, incredulous. How had we gotten our wires so crossed? We were normally on the same page, even with minor stuff.

"Not upset," she said, shaking her head and sniffling. "But I was afraid you'd be disappointed, like it was too soon or something. And I didn't want to tell you, and have you look anything less than excited, you know? That would've broken my heart."

I wrinkled my nose. "Why would I be anything less than excited?"

"Because...whenever we babysit for Al and Jasper, you're always so relieved when the kids go back home, and you _hate_ changing Jackson's diaper and you were so annoyed when Rachel broke that picture frame by the TV..." she trailed off, eyeing me. "And...I don't know. I just always assumed we'd have kids when we were good and ready."

"I don't think anyone's ever good and ready," I said, clearing the stuff off the bed so we could lie down.

"You know what I mean."

"Yeah, I do, but...those are other people's kids. You know? I love Alice and Jasper, and their kids are great...but they're not our kids. Our kids? _Our_ kids?" I grinned, pulling up her shirt. No belly yet, but I could imagine it. "I can't even begin to describe how that makes me feel." And I really couldn't. I was overwhelmed. And in love. With both Bella and the baby she was giving me.

I kissed her belly, and she ran her fingers through my hair, scratching. Felt so good. "When did you figure it out?"

"When I came home to Midnight's bathroom raid. He'd emptied the waste basket again."

"Oh, no," she groaned, her hands pausing. "You saw the tests?"

"Yup. I've been...freaking out about it. Two days." I peered up at her. "Freaking out that you weren't saying anything, by the way, not that you were pregnant."

"I guess I can give you a pass for forgetting our anniversary," she said, resuming her scalp massage.

"And I can forgive you for keeping something this monumental from me," I said, kissing her belly button over and over until she laughed and pushed my head away, only to pull me up, up to her face so we could kiss.

"I'm sorry," she said, pouting.

"I could never be upset about something like this. I love you."

"I love you, too," she said, rubbing her nose against mine. "I've just...been really emotional and hormonal, too. Crying and stuff. I think that might be another reason I was so weird and worried. I don't feel like myself lately."

"It's okay," I promised. I had no idea what we were getting in to, but, we'd figure it out. Hopefully.

"So you're excited?" she asked, smiling shyly.

"So excited."

"Is that why you got me all those tamarind balls?" she asked, giggling.

"Yup."

"Awww." We kissed until kissing wasn't enough and I just had to have her. She pulled my shirt off over my head, and I removed her tank top before tugging off her underwear.

And then I went down on her, because she liked it, and because getting her that horny and wet really turned me on. I was practically rutting in to the mattress when she came, her fingers tightening in my hair before letting go.

Naked in two point five, and then I was inside her.

"Feels different," I moaned.

"Like how?" she gasped, mouth half open in a silent cry. So warm...slippery.

I shuddered, thrusting. "Like you're carrying my baby..."

"Shut up, you can't feel anything!" She laughed breathlessly, opening a little wider.

Our eyes locked, and I stilled, deep inside. "It feels different in here," I said, tapping my heart. And I leaned down to kiss her where hers would be.

* * *

_**you see why not talking about stuff is silly? jeez.**_

_**one more to come.**_

_**xo**_


	34. Bold, Hold, Fold

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**storyline: Brighter**_

_**Word Prompt: Bold, fold, hold**_

_**NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

Edward adjusted the baby carrier, moving it so that the straps weren't digging in to his shoulders. He was still getting used to it; we both were. Normally, we preferred to just hold Bailey in our arms, but that was impractical for travel. Especially when we were going from the Caribbean clear across the country to the west coast.

"Want me to take over for awhile?" I asked, resting our carry-ons on the floor. All around us, fellow travelers rushed around O'Hare Airport at a frenetic pace.

He shook his head, smiling a little. "I'm okay. He's sleeping, anyway...I don't want to bother him."

"If jostling him through two crowded airports and an airplane didn't wake him, I doubt moving him from one body to another would," I chuckled, looking affectionately at our baby's tiny sleeping face. I reached down to touch his socked feet, only to find Edward already cupping one little heel. Our eyes met, and we grinned, tangling our fingers together.

He still made my heart flutter. They both did, actually.

* * *

Renee and Esme had both flown to St. Croix for baby Bailey's birth. My doctors had projected a rather large birth weight, and so, to avoid complications or the necessity of an emergency Caesarian, they recommended inducing. The good thing about that was everything was scheduled and orderly, at least, as much as something like child-birthing can be. There were no middle of the night messes because my water broke, no break-neck drives to the hospital. We checked in to the hospital early, filled out my paperwork, and got a room, almost like we were in a hotel or something.

The bad thing was the stuff they used to induce labor, pitocin, hurt _like a bitch._ I was prepared for pain, but this stuff apparently really upped the ante. Esme said that contractions were way more intense when brought on this way. My tentative plans for going without pain meds flew right out the window.

Thank God for epidurals.

Bailey Masen Cullen was almost a Christmas baby, born on the twenty third of December around eleven p.m. Edward and I fell in love all over again, with each other, and then with the little one. Our lives hadn't been the same since.

Now he was six months old, and we'd finally moved his crib in to his room. Not that I'd wanted to. The first couple of nights were rough on me, having him that far away, but baby monitors and frequent night check ups helped.

And, okay, it was nice to play around with Edward in bed without having to worry about being too loud.

And now we were en route to Seattle, to spend a couple of weeks visiting with both Charlie and Renee before heading to Esme and Carlisle in Chicago. I'd been there with Edward once, before we'd had the baby, but he'd never been to Seattle. I couldn't wait to show off my old stomping grounds, and of course, we were both excited about everyone meeting Bailey.

"I'm kind of hungry," I said, leaning against the wall. Food smells were coming at me from all directions, thanks to the smattering of restaurants we were next to. "Are you?"

"I'm always hungry," Edward said, nodding. "Let's go find something."

We found a place to eat, and managed to stuff it down before our flight began boarding. I just hoped Bailey stayed asleep throughout take off. He'd cried a little leaving St. Croix, and my heart just went out to his little ears.

He did, and I managed to grab a cat nap, too.

* * *

Our Seattle stay was close to perfect. It only rained some of the time, so we got to do a lot of outdoorsy things.

I got to see most of my friends, as well – even Peter, who was fast tracking it through grad school, and working, and doing about a million of other things, too. He and Charlotte were buying their first home, a gorgeous townhouse in an expensive part of Seattle. No surprise there. They seemed happy, though, and I wished them the best. I might not have been right for him, but it was comforting to see someone who so obviously was.

And really, I could say the same for myself and Edward. He was like my other half, corny as it sounded. We did well apart, and we needed our own space from time to time, but coming back together again was always somewhat of a relief. Like everything was back to normal, we were safe and sound and complete. Amazing how seamlessly baby had fit right in to that picture, and I assumed it would be the same for any future kids we might bring in to the fold. I couldn't imagine loving any child more than I loved Bailey, but Alice assured me I would. She said it was as natural as breathing.

Landing in Chicago, to stay this time, and not just hurry through the airport as I'd done so many times over the past two or three years, was a big deal for me. I knew Edward grew up here, even if he had spent most of his life in , and I was excited to see where he'd come from.

Esme met us at baggage claim, insisting we hand Bailey over immediately.

"Lucky for you, he just woke up," Edward said with a tired smile. "Otherwise he'd be screaming right now."

"Oh, you wouldn't scream at your Mimi," she cooed, ready to just leave us there now that she had her baby held tight. "How'd he do on the flight?"

"He was okay," I said, yawning. "Slept a lot."

We collected our luggage and followed her out in to the warm, bright afternoon. It felt good to breathe fresh air after our rather long flight.

I let Edward sit up front with his mother while I chilled in the back with Bailey. Esme had remembered his car seat, thankfully, so we hadn't had to rent one. I was loathe to drag ours from St. Croix; it was a heavy pain in the butt down there, and traveling with it just sounded awful. The one we'd used in Seattle had been a hand me down from my cousin, so we'd lucked out there, too.

"Sorry Carlisle couldn't come," Esme was saying, glancing at me in the rear view. "He's been stuck in this meeting all darn day...hopefully he'll be able to beat traffic on his way home."

"It's okay," I assured her. "I'm just sorry he's stuck somewhere he doesn't want to be."

I knew how fiercely independent Carlisle was, and how protective he was over his free time. These days, he really only worked as a freelance consultant, hand picking jobs and projects that interested him.

"That's life," Esme said with a sigh, merging on to the freeway.

And it was life. Especially up here. Fast paced, busy. Always on the move. Edward's parents, and mine, spoke of it fondly, but I saw more and more how I'd been cut from a different cloth. Visiting the states was great...but I couldn't imagine staying. Not now, not at this part of our life.

I mean, I spent my days with Bailey at the beach, or in the backyard with Midnight.

I cringed away from the window, still not used to how many lanes there were, and how fast everyone was flying, and the fact that we were on the right side of the road again. It didn't matter we'd just spent the past week in Seattle; years in St. Croix had totally changed my perceptions.

As if he was reading my mind, Edward twisted around in his seat, looking at me. "It's crazy out there, huh?"

"Insane," I murmured, watching exit ramps and bright green signs blur by.

* * *

Papa and Mimi, otherwise known as Edward's parents, were babysitting so that we could go out for dinner. I was excited. I'd heard good things about both the cuisine and the nightlife here. And it was always fun to have a little adult time, too.

I slipped in to a flirty, haltered black dress and strappy heels, finishing off with simple gold hoops. The hook bracelet Edward had given me for Christmas never came off my wrist, and neither did my Chaney bracelet. The ring I wore sometimes, depending on my outfit. It matched tonight, and I was glad. I loved the eclectic feel my jewelry collection lent my look.

Edward appeared beside me as I put mascara on, regarding our reflections in the mirror.

"You look good," I said, right as he kissed my ear and whispered, "yummy."

I smiled at him, letting him pull me in to a kiss. "You're messing up my lipstick," I said, biting his mouth.

"I want to mess it up," he said, sliding his hand up my thigh, under my dress. "All of it."

"Stop," I said, dancing away. "Or we'll never get out of here."

"You're right. I can always seduce you when we get back."

I winked at him, and reapplied my lipstick.

Edward's hand tickled back up my thigh, from the back this time. "Or maybe when we're in the car."

"You're a bold boy," I sighed, extra breathy just for him, leaning over further so my ass was in his face.

"God, Bella," he moaned, smacking it before leaving the room altogether.

Esme and Carlisle hurried us out the front door, promising to call if anything happened, but also making_ us_ promise not to worry. It was difficult, leaving like that. I still stayed home with Bailey back home, and except for a handful of times when Alice had watched him, I rarely left his side.

But I could do this.

"I miss him already," Edward said, once we were in the car.

"Aw, me too!" I admitted, grabbing his hand. "I was just thinking that. Mind melt."

"I know . You should've seen your face as we were leaving."

I nodded, looking out the window. "Yeah...we needed this, though."

"Yup."

We were quiet awhile, gazing outside at the city lights.

"Do you ever miss it?" he asked, squeezing my hand.

"Sometimes." I shrugged. "It's kind of exciting, being in big cities again. And it's pretty...especially like this, when the sky's all colorful, and the sun's going down, and the lights are all...sparkly."

"It is pretty," he agreed.

"But it's nothing like home."

And there it was.

He looked over at me, smiling, and he was so breathtakingly handsome that it made my heart feel freer and tighter all at once.

"Nope," he said, pressing a kiss to our clasped hands. "It's nothing like home."

* * *

_**fin**_

_**la isla bonita by madonna is today's song. haha, just kidding.**_

_**also, i flirted with the idea of naming baby bailey charneé eslisle, as i stated earlier on twitter. **__**haha, now i'm really just kidding. no made up names today, folks.**_

_**awww, i love you guys! you have made this self indulgent journey back to the land of my origin so wonderful. st croix is not perfect, by ANY STRETCH of the imagination, but it can be pretty idyll and mellow and sweet. good for the soul. i miss it every day, but honestly, it's going through a lot economically right now. kind of sucks...but that's life.**_

_**thanks for reading. i cherish every review, every note.**_

_**xoxoxo**_

_**ps new storyline starts tomorrow.**_


	35. Appease

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**Story - Appease**_

_**Prompt - appease**_

_**NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

The statuesque blonde smiles at me, but it's not warm. It's sort of...a place holder, something to do with her mouth until she's ready to speak to me.

I smile back in kind, waiting to speak, too. Waiting to hear her say what I already know.

"Well, Ms. Swan, your reputation certainly does precede you."

I keep smiling, adding a gracious nod.

"You've come so highly recommended." Gesturing to the thin stack of paperwork on the little table beside her, Tanya crosses her legs. Her skirt is just short enough that it skims the line of inappropriate, but she's got the legs for it. And she should: a lifestyle of yoga, vodka, and near starvation...and maybe pills; we'll see...would give anyone a body like hers.

"Thank you, Mrs. Masen."

"Please, call me Tanya," she says, just like I knew she would. These society wives are all the same, clinging to what they perceive as the vestiges of their youth.

Again, I nod. And smile.

The static mood in the room would drive lesser prospects away, but I've been doing this for years. I know the games these women play, and I play them just as well. She wants to know if I display class, calm, grace under pressure. And I do. This will be my fifth year taking care of other people's children. I began as a glorified babysitter during high school, going above and beyond with the kids whose family I worked for, and evolved in to a professional nanny sometime during my freshman year of college.

It is now the summer before my junior year, and classes have ended, giving me three months where I can work full time. If things go accordingly, and they always do, I'll stay with the Masen family during the school year as well, attending classes while the twins go to school, picking them up afterward, and basically being their mother while Tanya cavorts around the city.

"Katherine assured me you'd have no problem staying in the house if called to do so," she says, clasping her hands over her knee.

Katherine Whitaker, who I worked for last year. Now _she_ was a gem, and I'd still be employed had they not moved to the opposite coast. But she promised she'd place me with another family, which is why I'm here now, being interviewed by Tanya Masen, second (and much younger) wife of Edward Masen, financial mogul.

She doesn't have nearly the couth Katherine did, but I'm not here because I like her. Nor am I here to be liked. I'm here to be hired, and paid.

"I can do, or be, whatever you need, Tanya," I assure her. "If you'd like me to stay on the premises, I'd be glad to do so. If you'd prefer I kept a separate place of residence, that can be arranged as well."

"No, no. I'd like you to stay here," she says, pretty much securing my employment.

I'm smug inside, but I keep neutral, nodding. Again. Always agreeing.

Tanya brushes invisible lint from her suit. "Well."

_Here it is..._

"I think you'd be a good fit. The children, of course, will be the ones to make the final call, but...I don't foresee an issue with that."

"When might I meet Irina and Alistair?"

"They're in the Hamptons with my in-laws," she says, tilting her chin up. "And will be returning on Sunday evening. My husband will be here as well...we usually dine as a family during the weekend. You can meet them then."

"Perfect. I look forward to it."

"As do I."

"Thank you for giving me this opportunity," I say, mainly to appease any lingering doubts she might have. Appealing to Tanya's sense of power and control is one way I can keep her under _my_ control. "I appreciate it."

"You're welcome, Isabella."

We rise, and I follow her out in to the hallway. I slow down a little, fascinated by the never ending parade of photographs adorning the walls, color and black and white, posed and casual, current and past. It's endearing, and it brings life and warmth to this cathedral of a house.

One picture in particular catches my eye and before I realize it, I've paused altogether.

"Oh, those are Edward's other children," sniffs Tanya. "From his first marriage."

I gaze at the boy and girl, similar in face but not in stature. He's much taller than she is, but they're both dark haired and beautiful, devastatingly so.

"Are they...do they live here?"

"Here? In this house?" she laughs, a little maliciously. "Thankfully, no. Their comings and goings are mercifully brief."

I keep my frown hidden, not caring to upset the tenuous balance I've achieved with the "lady" of the house.

"I see," I say, even though I don't.

"Alice is about your age...she lives in the city, in a place of her own," Tanya says as we start down the hallway again. "And Edward...the second...has just graduated from Dartmouth."

"Oh."

"They have rooms here, and keys, but their lives are elsewhere," she continues. I'm not sure why she's explaining all of this, but I'm admittedly nosy, so I let her. She's done, though, saying nothing else until we reach the front door.

"It's been a pleasure, Isabella," Tanya says, extending her hand.

"Thank you, Tanya. It's been a pleasure for me, as well," I echo politely.

We share one more fake smile before she shuts the door.

I turn and let myself out, confident about my job. Outside the day is lush with sunshine, the street lined richly with trees. Central Park West is a grand, lovely neighborhood...and if all goes according to plan, it's about to be mine.


	36. Spritz

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**Story - Appease (this storyline started yesterday)**_

_**Prompt - spritz**_

_**NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

Summertime, and the days are sublimely long. The sun lingers languidly over the city, saturating the air with color.

Inside, the doorman has been instructed to let me in when I arrive and give my name. I don't mind the formality; after all, the wealthy residents of this co-op pay good money for such a lifestyle. Anyway, Marcus will know who I am soon enough, when my face becomes as permanent a fixture around here as his.

The Masens live on the tenth floor of the Dakota, natch. I smooth my hair back in to my ponytail and run my tongue over my teeth, making sure my –very light – lipstick is nowhere it shouldn't be. I'm in a knee length summer dress and flats, a simple cardigan with three quarter length sleeves. It's youthful and modest; Sunday school teacher meets college girl.

Which is what I'm going for, of course.

The same woman who greeted me last time appears before me, standing aside so that I may enter.

"Good evening, Ms. Swan," she says, smiling briefly.

"Good evening, Mrs...Cope?"

Her smile returns. She's surprised that I remember her name. "Please come in. May I take your purse?"

"No, thank you."

"Very well. Mrs. Masen and the children are waiting for you in the sitting room."

I follow her through the "apartment", which...is more like twenty of the ones I grew up in...to where my future employers sit, chatting quietly. Classical music plays from unseen speakers; it's pleasant, soothing.

"Isabella," Tanya says, rising.

The children follow suit. They are identical to each other and almost to their mother: the same strawberry blond hair, light blue eyes, slender build and upturned noses.

"Hello...Mrs. Masen," I reply.

"Tanya," she corrects, tilting her head. "Please."

I nod, clasping my hands in front of me. "And I'm really just Bella."

"Bella, this is Alistair," he comes forward to shake my hand, "and Irina." She does the same. They regard me with open curiosity, their eyes bouncing back and forth between their mother and myself.

"It's so nice to meet you, Bella," Irina says politely.

"And you as well," I respond, giving them my very best, my warmest. "I have heard such good things about you both."

"It's about time we had a younger nanny," sniffs Alistair.

I swallow back a laugh . Looks like I might have some fun with these two, after all.

* * *

Dinner is not quite the stilted affair that i'd expected.

I wouldn't exactly call Edward Masen, Sr. a sweet, fluffy guy, but he is quite talkative, and he fills the time asking questions of myself and the children. Tanya seems content to sit back and sip her Campari Spritz, but Irina and Alistair are chatty and animated. Interesting, seeing as their mother is something of a cold fish. Apparently they take after their father.

An errant thought of his other two children, the older ones, flickers through my mind, and I wonder if they are anything like him.

As for me, I enjoy conversing with Mr. Masen, who is opinionated and sly. He keeps the conversation topical, but it's obvious he could delve deeper if he wanted to. This dinner, however, is really just the final step in my employment process. They want to get a feel for me, and that's about it.

Afterward, Mr. Masen excuses himself, and I'm left with Tanya and the children. She dismisses them to watch TV, and then turns to me.

"I'd like you to start tomorrow."

"That would be fine."

"Will you need assistance in moving your things?"

"I should be all right, thank you."

"Very well."

She stands, and I follow, trying not to gaze longingly at the remainder of the chocolate raspberry torte on my plate.

"I had Mrs. Cope call you a cab," Tanya says over her shoulder.

I have no idea when she had time to do that, but I'm grateful. "Thank you."

* * *

In the morning, I call Jacob, a friend of mine. We met at orientation, right before starting at NYU, and have been tight ever since. He's my go-to guy for just about everything, and if I felt for him the way he obviously feels for me, we'd probably be dating.

But I don't, so we're not. We are, however, close, regardless of the one sided attraction. For that, I am grateful. This city is way too big to not have close friends.

Jacob is also one of the few people I know that has a car. The rest if us take cabs or the subway, or we hoof it, but Jacob needs his ride for his delivery job.

"That it?" he says, placing the last of my boxes in to the backseat of his car. "Where's the rest of it?"

"I got rid of a ton of stuff," I explain, lugging an over-stuffed tote bag over. "It was time, you know?"

He shrugs, nodding. "SO you have a good feeling about this place?"

I nod, slipping in to the car. "It's gorgeous, obviously, and the family's not too whacked out. The only weird one is Mrs. Masen, and I have a feeling I won't be seeing much of her."

"Nice."

"Yeah."

"So, where is it again? You said Central Park West, right?"

"Yeah...West 72nd."

He nods, checking his mirrors as we pull in to traffic. Since school ended a couple of weeks ago, I've been staying in my friend Angela's apartment. She's one of the few people I know who lives in her own place, and not just a dorm, but then again – she was born and raised here. She's at work now, but she made me promise to call her later with an update of how things were going at "La Casa Masen".

There's a different doorman, but he lets us up without issue, and after several trips, Jake and I are done. I have one of the smaller bedrooms, but it's still a palace compared to my room back home.

This is actually the first time I'm staying on the premises; past jobs were full time, but I lived in my own place.

Jake has things to do, so with a hug, he leaves me to it.

I spend the majority of the morning listening to Tanya explain what she expects of me, as well as the ins and outs of how the household is run. Conversation between us flows easily enough, but I'll be glad when I'm on my own.

Eventually she does disappear, leaving me to unpack my things properly. Jake was right; I don't have much. I'm just setting up my computer when there's a soft knock at the door.

"Can we go swimming, now?" Irina asks, already in her swimsuit. "I go nearly every day."

"Oh," I say, putting down my laptop. "Not today, Irina. It's been a little hectic for me."

She pouts, folding her arms.

"Did you ask your mother?"

"Why would I ask her when I'm supposed to ask you?"

"I'm just wondering," I sigh. I suppose Tanya has fully handed the reins over to me.

"We'll go tomorrow," I promise.

She nods, wandering back down the hall. "I'll be in my room, then."

I find a rather aloof Alistair in the kitchen a couple of minutes later, leaning against the counter.

Mrs. Cope is busily sliding cookies on to a plate. I can't recall the last time I had homemade cookies, and my mouth waters even as my eyes tear slightly.

I miss my mom.

"Help yourself, Isabella," Mrs. Cope says, motioning me closer.

"These smell...and look...amazing," I say, taking a couple.

"They are," a new voice says suddenly, clear and sweet.

I feel I know who it is even before turn to see...the girl from the picture: Alice.

* * *

_**The Silversun Pickups - All the Go Inbetweens**_

_**i'm once again changing the title to avoid further confusion. now it'll be "brighter, appease."**_


	37. Motor

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**storyline: Appease**_

_**Word Prompt: motor**_

_**NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

Alice's smile is real.

Alistair's indifference melts like ice cream on a hot day, and he dives in to her arms. "You came!"

"I came," she says, kissing the top of his head as her eyes dance around the kitchen. "Hi, Mrs. Cope..."

"Hello, sweetheart."

I watch as they embrace too, fascinated by the bonds I'm only now seeing. I guess things aren't as cold, all around, as I'd assumed. It's a welcome realization.

"I'm Alice," she says, reaching out to shake my hand. "You must be Isabella, right? The new nanny?"

"That I am," I respond, shaking her hand. "It's nice to meet you. I wasn't sure I would be...seeing you so soon."

"I'm not around much," she says, shaking her head. Her ponytail is short, and so many wisps have fallen from it that it's practically non existent. "But I do like taking these guys out when I can, and I promised I'd come by when the semester finished."

"Are you staying?" Alistair asks, eyes shining as he crams a cookie into his mouth.

"Maybe...I'm not sure yet."

"Please! You can sleep in my room," cries Irina, running in to the kitchen. Like her brother before, she practically flies in to Alice's arms. I'm not sure if these kids are starved for physical affection, or if they're simply close to their older sister. I'm betting it's a bit of both.

"Shh, maybe," Alice says, now cuddling them both. "Relax...eat your cookies. Let me chat with Isabella."

"Bella," Irina corrects, smiling almost shyly at me from the nest of her sister's arms.

"Bella," Alice echoes.

We sit together at the island, eating cookies and milk with the twins as they chatter incessantly, forgetting all about Alice's request to speak to me. It's cute, actually, and just like the last night with Mr. Masen, I find I'm learning a lot about Irina and Alistair through their conversation with Alice. They shoot back and forth, vying for our attention with tidbits of their daily lives.

"And how's ballet?" Alice asks, dipping her cookie.

"It's fine, I guess...even though Claire Preston might get the lead. She's not even that good," Irina says.

Alistair jumps down off of his stool. "She's better than you."

"Shut up, toad."

"You shut up."

"Both of you, chill out," laughs Alice, tweaking their ears. "Isn't it your bedtime?"

"It's summer," scoffs Alistair.

"Well. I'm going to help Bella put things away in her room. I'll be here when you wake up in the morning, promise."

They kiss her goodnight begrudgingly before disappearing to their rooms.

I stand tentatively, collecting Alice's empty cookie plate along with my own. "I should get them ready for bed," I say. "I've already unpacked, by the way."

"I figured," she says, standing. "I just wanted to...I don't know. Get to know you some."

"That's cool," I say. "Well...give me...twenty minutes?"

"Sure. I'll be in my room. You know which one that is?"

I shake my head.

"The one beside yours. On the left."

"Oh, okay."

The children's rooms are at the very end of the hallway. Irina's is tranquil and feminine in light blues, greens and golds, while Alistair's is a soft explosion of reds and oranges. They both have bunk beds with built in desks, lovely murals on the walls (painted by Alice and Edward, I'm informed) and large windows overlooking the park. The rooms are adjoined by the bathroom that they share, and it's here that I oversee their nighttime ritual of teeth brushing and changing.

"Can I stay up to read?" Alistair asks, a Harry Potter book dangling from his fingertips.

"Of course." I was always allowed to stay up and read, especially during the summertime. "I'll check on you a little later."

He nods, satisfied, and climbs in to the top bunk.

Next door, Irina looks sleepy as she drags herself in to bed, yawning. "Leave the bathroom light on, Bella."

"I will. Good night, Irina."

"Can we paint nails tomorrow?"

"Sure."

"Alice is good at painting nails. She gave me a french manicure for my birthday..." She yawns again, wider.

"Maybe she can teach me," I say, pulling her blanket up.

"'Yeah. Night..."

"Night."

I travel back up the hall to Alice's door, which is open just a crack, and knock.

"Come in."

I enter, making sure to close the door again behind me. I haven't yet been in this room –I've had no reason to –but it's obvious that it's Alice's. Like her flowing, bohemian style of dress, the room is bright and bursting with color. Books piled on the nightstand, a tapestry on the wall, sheer curtains shimmering, diaphanous in the lamplight.

"Wow," I murmur, looking around. "I thought...Tanya said you and your brother didn't spend much time here."

"I'm not here as much as I'm at my place, but I'm here enough," she says, sitting on her bed. "Tanya doesn't know the half of what goes on here, honestly. She's in her own little world."

"I bet."

Alice grins, patting the spot beside her. "So. Tell me about you. I thought I'd never get the chance, with those little motor mouths running the show."

"They were so excited to see you." I laugh softly as I join her, slipping my shoes off so I can sit comfortably. "Well, I'm about to be a junior at NYU...and I'm from Washington State."

"Long way from home."

"No kidding. I like it, though. A lot. It...feels like home now."

"Have you always lived in student housing?"

"Until now, yes."

Alice nods, running slim, delicate fingers over the patterns on her bedspread. It's an intricate pattern, something exotic. Moroccan, maybe. "I'm glad you'll be staying here. These kids need a normal life. Down to earth people."

"Mrs. Cope seems nice."

"She is; she's the best. She's been around longer than they have...but she doesn't live here."

"That's true."

We sit quietly for a moment. Alice's cell buzzes, and she glances down at it, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. "My brother," she murmurs, typing something back.

"Edward... the second?"

Alice smirks. "The one and only."

* * *

Alice and I stand wait near the door as the twins wrestle socks and shoes on to their feet. It's a pretty day, and she promised them ice cream and a walk in the park. I'm tagging along, partly because it's kind of my job but mostly because I like Alice – and the kids.

I've just helped Irina double knot her laces when the door opens, almost hitting me in the head. I guess this wasn't the smartest place to be bent over...

"What happened to Mrs. Doubtfire?"

I look up sharply at the owner of playful voice, but he's already hugging Alistair and helping Irina to her feet. They fuss momentarily over him, much as they did with Alice last night.

"Who?" I ask, smiling.

"The other nanny. Plump, matronly type," he continues, silly, mocking words coming from a gorgeous, gorgeous mouth. _Well, damn._

"Bella's our nanny now," Alistair announces impatiently. "But we have to go."

"Hello, _Bella_." He smirks and offers his hand. Alice's eyes are hazel, but Edward's are bright green, almost impossibly so. "I'm Edward. The second. But really, the only."

His words, so similar to Alice's last night. I'm beginning to think it's something of an inside joke.

But we shake, and I smile. "Nice to meet you."

"Oh, no. The pleasure is definitely mine," he says, unsubtle in his perusal of me.

_Ah, yes_. The rake, the playboy. Such a cliché, right down to his expensive watch, Abercrombie good looks, and loose khaki pants. Sighing inwardly, I step closer to Alice. "Ready?"

She snorts, shaking her head at Edward's affected obviousness.

"For sure. Let's go," she says, herding the twins out the door.  
"What's this?" Edward asks, following us in to the hallway. "I come, you go?"

"It's eleven o'clock, Edward," Alice murmurs. "You were supposed to be here for breakfast at nine."

"Things come up."

"They always do, brother."

"Yes. Yes, they do."

The door closes behind us, and I look back, thinking he's gone inside, but he's right beside me.

"So, Bella..."

I pat Alistair's cowlick down, noticing that Edward has one just the same, only his is a warm, coppery color. It's cute.

"So, Edward."

"What's your favorite ice cream?" he asks brightly, all chipper and ridiculous.

I temper my smile, trying not to fall in to his appeal. "It depends on my mood."

"Hm. Yes. I'd have to say I'm the same way."

"I bet."

He eyes me, but I keep my gaze forward, on the elevator doors as they open.

* * *

_***special thanks to edwards_debussy and nia77, my insiders. ;) i'm pumping them for info and they're indulging my whims, sweet girls. xoxo**_

_*** You, Appearing - M83**_


	38. Duty

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**storyline - Appease**_

_**prompt - duty**_

_**not beta'd**_

* * *

"I feel like I should know this, but, when is their birthday?"

"February thirty first," says Edward, folding his hands behind his head as he stares up at the sky.

Alice takes another lick of her chocolate ice cream. "February _eleventh_."

"Okay." Nodding, I enter the date in to my phone. "So they just turned eight."

She nods, watching the twins.

Alistair and Irina are running in circles now, hyped up from sugar. Tanya pretends to try and keep them from eating too much of it, but between Mrs. Cope and their older siblings, they get their secret fill.

"Already," Edward says, rolling on to his side. He props his elbow up and rests head on his hand. Grass falls from his hair, and his t-shirt is rumpled. He looks like he just rolled out of bed. "Remember when they were born, Alice?"

"I do," she says with a small sigh. "They were so tiny."

"Tanya was _so glad _to get her body back," Edward says in a high voice. He snorts, more with derision than amusement. "Idiot."

"Well...it's gotta be hard, being pregnant" I begin, attempting to be fair even though I suspect I feel the same way about Mrs. Masen as he does. "I don't know. You probably feel more like yourself once you've given birth."

"You sound like you speak from experience, Mrs. Doubtfire."

I roll my eyes at his silliness. "Yeah, I'm actually a mother of three."

"I can tell."

"And I'd like to imagine I'm more Mary Poppins than Mrs. Doubtfire."

He arches an eyebrow. "Abso-frigging-lutely. Mary Poppins was a sexy bitch. A vixen. A minx."

"Shut up, Edward," Alice mumbles, flopping on to her stomach as she reads something from her phone.

Edward stands up, throwing his wadded napkin at her head before coming to stand over me. I ignore him at first, keeping my gaze on the kids, but eventually I look up. His hands are in his pockets, and his eyes are on me.

He smirks when our eyes meet. "And practically perfect in every way."

* * *

By the time we return to the Dakota, Edward's wandered off.

Alice has to leave soon, too, but not before she gets roped in to doing Irina's nails. Alistair seems annoyed, and I find him moping inside his room not long after we come back.

"What's up?" I ask, leaning against the door frame.

"Nothing."

"You sure?"

He glances over his shoulder at me, scowling. "You can go, you know. My parents don't pay you to coddle me."

Inside, I'm a little shocked at the somewhat mature sentiment he's just expressed. I mean, he's eight. Outwardly, though, I'm just annoyed at his abrasiveness.

"There's no need to be rude," I say, folding my arms. "And I don't have to do anything I don't want, Alistair. There is a difference between _coddling_ and caring, and I happen to care if you're upset about something." I do my best to keep my tone even and gentle, not wanting to upset him any further.

He shrugs, sitting at his desk.

I stand for a moment more, watching him, but his silence makes me feel dismissed. Turning, I walk back down the hall, thinking about him, about the things that make him tick. He's a moody one, for sure, animated one moment and sullen the next.

"He's right, you know."

I gasp, startled out of my mind. Edward smiles ruefully, hands in his pockets.

"What...where did you come from? I thought you'd left..."

"I stopped to talk to someone I knew for a second..." He pushes a hand through his hair before jamming it back in to his pocket. "I was behind you...I can't help it if you're unobservant."

His antics are wearing on me. Pursing my lips, I push past him and continue on. But then I pause. "What is he right about?"

"About you. And him. Your duty does not extend past their physical wellbeing."

I shake my head and go to my door. "I beg to differ."

He follows me, so light on his feet I don't hear him coming until his hand is on the door. "Trust me. Don't bother. These two have been through several nannies in their lives."

"A situation you're not helping by trying to chase the latest one away," I say, looking pointedly at him before entering my room.

"I'm not trying to chase you away."

"Mm."

"I'm not."

I sit on my bed, frowning when he closes the door behind him. "I didn't invite you in."

"May I come in?"

I examine my nails. "Fine."

He sits beside me. "If you want to baby Alistair, that's fine."

"I wasn't babying him. Everyone deserves a listening ear if they need one."

"Even me?"

"Even you." I sigh.

"You should be careful, you know."

"Of what?"

"Of everything. Especially my step mother. She's a snake."

"Not that surprising."

"No, it's not, is it?"

I shrug. "I've worked with women like her before."

"She's insufferable."

"Don't take this the wrong way, but...she doesn't seem terribly fond of you or Alice, either," I say quietly. "Although I can't see why. The twins adore you..."

"She feels spurned."

"Spurned? By who?"

"By me."

I frown, trying to follow, hoping this isn't as sordid as it sounds.

"She tried to proposition me, back before they were married."

Now this is unexpected. I gape at him, and he smiles indulgently.

"She wanted to suck me off," he continues casually.

"I...okay. Wow."

"I wasn't interested, and that pissed her off...especially because then she tried _again_, after they were married. The answer was still no, and now she hates me. She hates my mother, though, too...so I doubt that helps."

"And she probably dislikes Alice because he's related to you and your mother."

"Right."

"Well. That's messy."

"It's old news. Just watch your back."

Shaking my head, I say, "Unless she's bisexual, I highly doubt she'll try to proposition me."

"Stranger things have happened."

I give him a look.

"She's crazy," he says. "She fired one girl because she thought my father wanted her."

My heart trips. "Did he?"

"Well, yes. But that's not the point."

What have I gotten myself in to, here? I rub my hands over my face. "Oh, boy."

"Most of the nannies since then have been... older. I guess I'm just surprised she hired you."

"She knew my last employer," I explain. "They were friends, and I Mrs. Whitaker vouched for me."

"I see."

"I had a good working relationship with the Whitakers... in fact, I'd still be with them had they not moved."

"Didn't they give you the option of going with them?"

"Yes, but I have school here."

"And where do you go to school?"

"NYU."

"Ah. I almost went there."

I nod, and then we fall silent. I can feel him watching me, and as has become my way, I ignore him. Yes, he's handsome, and yes, he's appealing. Very. But there's something behind his smile, his easy humor which I somehow suspect is not-so-easy, that keeps me wary. That, and the fact he's the un-favorite son of my employer. Any way I look at it, or rather, him, it's a bad idea.

Nannies are a dime a dozen in this city. The only reason I've been as successful as I have, is because of my professionalism. I'm not cold or mechanical, but I understand the value of not crossing the line. It's a hazy thing, but I know it when I see it. Comforting a sad child, in my opinion, is acceptable. Falling for the charms of someone like Edward is not.

"Keep on doing what you're doing and you'll be fine," he says suddenly.

"And what would that be?" I ask, finally giving him my attention.

He stands, that ever-present smirk tickling at his face. "Focusing on the twins and nothing else."

I nod slowly, watching as he leaves.

* * *

Neither Edward nor Alice join us for dinner.

I'm slightly relieved, especially after Edward's stories earlier. Tanya is here, and I'm not in the mood to deal with tension around the table.

Irina is bright and chirpy, showing off the bubblegum pink manicure Alice gave her, and even Alistair has mellowed out, seeming quiet but content. I suspect that he might be a slow thaw, and that he's still feeling me out. Unlike his sister, he's probably not as accepting with new people, and that's fine. My father is the same way; not quick to trust but once he does...a friend for life.

Tanya disappears as we finish up. Mrs. Cope stops me from helping clear the table, so I offer a movie and popcorn to the twins. They bicker for awhile before finally deciding on one of the Wimpy Kid movies. My previous charges loved these movies, as well, and even though I've watched them all, it's kind of comforting to watch them again.

I get a text around eleven.

_Wanna come out? _

It's from Alice. I glance over at the kids, who are fast asleep beside me. Alistair snores a little. On one hand, I'm a bit tired...but on the other, getting out for awhile sounds really, really good. Besides, I like Alice. She's easy to talk to, and genuine.

I type back that I'd love to, and she sends me the name and address of a lounge that I've heard of, but never been to. I have to assume that if she's there, she has connections, and that getting in won't be a problem.

Once I've carried the twins to bed, I quickly change into jeans and a top before calling a cab. It's summertime balmy, busy and electric, as I stand on the sidewalk and wait. A car pulls up and I turn the other way, looking up the street for my bright yellow ride.

"Oh, look. A midsummer's night dream."

Edward's voice floats to me, and I can't help but smile to myself. Somehow, I'm not surprised he's here. I glance over at him, right as he hops out of his...

"What is that?"

"What?"

"...that." I point to his shiny silver car.

"An Aston Martin."

"Oh."

...his Aston Martin.

"Oh?" He swings his keys around his finger. "Get in. Alice doesn't like to be kept waiting."

I open my mouth to speak, but then my cab pulls up.

Edward opens the door to the passenger side, and waits expectantly.

I shake my head at the cabbie, who leaves without much fuss, and, though I know better, get in the car with the pretty, rich boy.

* * *

_**swimming in the flood - passion pit**_


	39. Telescope

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**storyline - Appease**_

_**prompt - telescope**_

_**not beta'd**_

* * *

"I'm surprised you came out," Edward says as we glide down the street. His car...feels like it's floating, it's so smooth.

Shrugging, I gaze at the passing lights. "I felt like getting some fresh air."

"I guess I mean I'm surprised Tanya let you out."

I look at him. "She said that unless she's stepping out, the nights are mine."

"Huh." He doesn't have to say anything else. He wears his thoughts and emotions –suspicion, skepticism – like full body tattoos: colorful and impossible to ignore.

I fiddle with the zipper on my purse. "I know you have a weird history with her but...she's my boss, Edward. And she's been good to me so far. Can we just...not talk about her?"

He keeps his eyes on the road. "Sure."

* * *

"Thanks."

The lounge Edward brings me to feels like it's hidden in plain sight. I doubt I could have found it myself. He assures me it's one of Alice's favorite haunts, an "artsy fartsy place packed with hipsters like her". I don't know how I feel about that, seeing as I'm not really an artist or a hipster, but, whatever.

Alice is holding court at a corner table when we arrive. Edward deposits me in a chair and disappears back in to the crowd.

"Hey," says Alice, giving me a small wave.

"Hi." I smile, glancing around the table. Two guys and three girls, none of whom seem too extremely friendly or even interested.

But then one, a redhead, grins. "Hi, I'm Victoria. You're the new nanny over at the Masen's huh?"

I nod cautiously, wondering what Alice has told them, if anything.

"How's that going?"

"It's going really well."

"That's cool," she says, sipping her drink. "Those kids are awesome."

"They are," I agree, feeling myself relax. No one else engages me much after that, but Alice turns toward me, tucking her leg up under her. She's petite and slender, like a dancer.

"The rest of your night went okay?" she asks, running her finger in circles atop her glass.

"It was pretty chill. We had dinner, watched a movie...the kids had just passed out when you texted."

She nods. "Good. Hey, do you want something? A martini, maybe?"

"No, that's all right. Thanks."

Frowning, she straightens up. "A Coke?"

I shrug. "I mean...okay."

"Do you not drink?"

"I'll be twenty one in September."

"Not what I asked," she says with a secret smile.

"I know."

"Well, I must say...I respect that. You're like...an alcohol virgin."

I laugh. "You could say that."

"Sweets for the sweet." Edward's back with a drink for me, something light red.

"Oh...thanks, but I don't drink."

"It's a Shirley Temple," he says, rolling his eyes.

"Oh." I actually love Shirley Temples. As in, _adore_. "Thanks..."

"I even got an extra cherry for you," he says, winking.

* * *

The night passes in bursts of conversation, mainly between Alice and her somewhat pretentious friends. Victoria's okay, as is this blond kid Jasper, but the others seem both bored and boring. I don't understand why the vibrant girl I'm getting to know wastes her time with them, but...I guess there's a lot I still don't get.

Anyway, she speaks a lot to me, which is why I came, and so does Edward. He speaks to everyone, and it's painfully obvious that they sort of revere him. That he intimidates them.

"Sycophants," he mutters, draining the rest of his club soda. He's tonight's designated driver, something he and Alice take seriously since the drunk driving death of a friend years ago.

"Then why do you bother?" I ask, angling my face toward his.

"Why do you?"

"I didn't know..."

"Shit excuse."

My eyes flash up to his. His, always challenging. "No, it's actually not. I came to hang with your sister, not her snooty friends. I don't know these people, but you obviously do."

"I came to hang out with my sister, too," he says, not releasing me from the snare of gaze. "I haven't seen her much since I came back to the city."

"Well...okay then."

"Okay."

"Fine."

"Indeed."

I look away first, severing the connection. He does things to my insides, things I can't afford.

Behind us, sounds of goodbye echo back and forth across our table, punctuated by half-hugs and air kisses, and promises to call. They hardly say anything to me, except for Victoria, who taps the table in front of me.

"Come out again, yeah?"

She's cool; I would. "Sure."

"Walk me out?" Jasper says to Alice, his eyes heavy with lust. It startles me, the intensity of his expression, and I look away, feeling like I just saw two people having sex. Have they been this way all night? I hadn't noticed.

Edward and I follow them, keeping a distance. They don't touch, but the vibes between them are tangible.

"He's going to ask if he can bring her home," Edward murmurs to me, inclining his head so close his hair brushes my forehead.

"So?"

"So." He shrugs, defaulting back to hands-in-pockets. He's in jeans tonight, and I find I rather like how he looks.

Outside, Alice and Jasper continue their whispered flirtations, only now they actually _are_ touching, and seconds later, they say goodbye, ducking in to a nearby cab. It's over so fast my head spins, and I turn awkwardly to Edward. "Would you mind –"

"Come on," he says, already walking up the sidewalk.

"Thanks for the ride," I say, once we get back to the Dakota.

"You're welcome."

We haven't spoken much since leaving the lounge. He confuses me, on one second and off the next. Truly, like Alistair. I wonder if he needs love, too.

I give him a smile and reach for the door handle, but he touches my arm.

When I look back at him, slightly surprised, his face has darkened. I freeze, unsure of what's going on.

"Promise me you'll call me if you need anything."

"I...promise."

He nods curtly, letting go, and I get out, thoroughly bemused.

* * *

In the morning, I join the twins for breakfast.

Alistair, updating me on the latest with some show he's in to, seems back to his normal, somewhat snarky self. _Yep. Not unlike his brother... _

Irina turns to me, her fork in mid-air. "_Today_can we go swimming?"

"I suppose so," I say, spearing a piece of melon. "It's going to be hot today, so that's probably a good idea."

"It is," Alistair assures me. "And then you can take us to Dylan's."

"Oh I can, can I?" I chuckle, shaking my head. "We'll see."

"I know you have a sweet tooth," Irina giggles. "I saw you pigging out on Mrs. Cope's cookies!"

"You mean like you were?" I ask playfully, arching my eyebrow.

Mrs. Cope lands a pancake on each of our plates. "No one can resist my cookies, dear."

Alistair and Irina fight briefly over the syrup before I swoop it up and pour a little on each of their plates.

"More please..."

"But what about Dylan's? Shouldn't you save your sugar rations for then?" I tease, adding more syrup to Alistair's pancakes anyway.

A fifty lands on the table beside me. "Take them to Dylan's," Tanya says, smiling thinly. "I'll be gone for the day, and the evening as well...so be sure to stay in later on."

"Of course," I say, sobering up immediately. The light hearted silliness dissipates, and the twins stare at their plates,dragging their food through the sticky syrup.

They don't ask her where she's going, and neither do I.

* * *

Irina and Alistair having a standing swimming arrangement with their friends Siobhan and Liam Seanessey, who live over at 15 Central Park West. Siobhan is a little younger and Liam slightly older, but they attend the same school, and their parents are acquainted with the Masens.

Apparently the nanny brought Irina and Alistair swimming over there all the time last summer, so now that I've settled in to life at the Dakota, I figure it won't hurt to do the same. Maggie, their nanny, is most certainly a Mrs. Doubtfire, right down to her accent – which happens to be Irish, but the similarities are still there.

She's friendly and kind, although stern with the children. She's been with them their entire lives, and the security they feel with her is obvious. We spend the day in and out of the pool, stopping only for lunch. I take them to Dylan's on the way home, as promised, and we splurge on candy. Even me.

Later, at home, I pack a picnic dinner and we eat on the floor of the TV room. There's a Star Wars marathon on, which Irina initially balks at until she realizes how cool it is. She and Rini, her American Girl mini-me, make it through to Episode IV before passing out.

Alistair looks disdainfully at her. "It's not even midnight."

I laugh through a yawn. "We had a long day, though."

He shrugs and stands up, stretching. "Wanna see something?"

I glance back at Irina. She looks like she'll be out for quite some time. "Sure."

In Alistair's room sits a brand new telescope, gorgeous and unused. It sits at one of his windows, angle upward toward the sky. It's the first time I've noticed it.

"Oh, wow," I murmur, bending down to look through.

"You can't really see anything with the city lights messing everything up," he says with a frustrated sigh.

"Light pollution," I say, nodding. "Well...maybe we can take it to the Hamptons. Your mom told me you guys go every July, for the fourth."

He brightens, running his fingers over the smooth surfaces of the telescope. "That would be awesome."

"I think so, too."

* * *

_**El Ten Eleven - Thinking Loudly**_


	40. Admit

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**Story - Appease**_

_**Prompt - admit, permit**_

_**NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

Days melt in to one another, an endless string of wakings and sleepings and little adventures in between.

The city is so hot that we exist on a steady diet of swimming pools and ice cream, Italian ices and air conditioned museums. When the sun goes down, and the heat lets up a little, I take the twins for walks through Central Park. I'm a big believer in spending time outside, enjoying the grass and trees, so if we have to do it during the mellow haze of twilight, that's fine.

Unless it's raining or we're traveling across town, I opt for taking cabs and subways. The Masens have a driver, but I want Irina and Alistair to experience Manhattan the way most of its residents do. The kids don't mind, and in fact they prefer it, saying they hate having to use a driver. I don't deal with the bus, though. Even I have my limits, and I did that enough back in the day.

All of this physical activity keeps the twins' minds occupied, their bodies active and thoroughly exercised. They're often tuckered out by the time we eat dinner with Mrs. Cope, and, occasionally, Mr. and Mrs. Masen.

We don't see Edward and Alice all the time, but still, we see them way more than I thought we would. And the twins are smart; I notice they never mention this to either of their parents. It's better that way, seeing the fragile familial balance. Needless to say I never tell Tanya about these meet-ups, either. For one thing, she's rarely around, and for another, if asked, she'd probably find excuses that would prevent them from spending time together.

_It's better to ask for forgiveness than permission. _I'll admit: this is my personal credo. There's nothing like family, and Irina and Alistair shouldn't have to suffer because of their mother's issues.

* * *

I wave to Edward, who is standing outside the entrance of FAO Schwarz, chatting up the Toy Soldier at the door as if they're homeboys. Knowing Edward, they just might be. Anyway, he and Alistair like to goof around with the giant piano here, and since Alistair needs something for one of his Lego sets, we figured we'd kill two birds with one stone.

Irina huffs beside me. "Alistair always gets his way," she whines.

"Not always," I say, tucking a blonde wisp away from her face. Faint freckles dot her sunkissed skin like summertime's kisses. "And anyway, I'm sure we'll find something here for you, too."

"I don't want anything from here."

"Then what do you want?"

"You promised to take me to tea."

"No, _Alice_ promised. I said I'd take the two of you here and then maybe a movie in the park if the weather permits."

She continues pouting, even when Edward sweeps her in to a hug.

"What's with you, blondie?"

"She wanted to go to tea," I explain, adjusting the strap on my bag.

He makes a face. "Sorry, princess, tea's not my speed. That's Alice's thing."

"That's what I told her."

"But if you're good, and if Bella Poppins allows it, I'll bring you to Max Brenner's."

Irina wrinkles her nose, intrigued. "What's that?"

"Guess you'll have to wait and see, now won't you?"

Meanwhile Alistair clears his throat impatiently. "Now that she's finished her tantrum, can we go inside?"

"Well, that's the pot calling the kettle black," I mumble, following him through the doors.

Edward chuckles beside me. He smells like grass...the kind you mow...and cigarettes.

"What?" I ask, smiling his way.

"You."

"Me what?"

"I wish I'd had a nanny like you when I was their age..."

We've fallen in to an easy way of being. He still teases and goads me constantly, and his words are often laced with innuendo, but that's about it. Sometimes I wonder if the smolder of attraction that existed between us when we first met has been extinguished by familiarity.

Sometimes. But then other times I catch him looking at me, and I know he probably feels the same way I do. And _it is _the same, even if it manifests differently for me than it does for him. I've no delusions about who he is or what he does. He'd probably sweep me off my feet long enough to get between my legs and that would be it.

Boys like him make great friends and fantastic lovers...but really, really awful boyfriends. I've seen enough of my friends get mixed up with the likes of Edward to know that friendship is the best way to go. The only way.

And anyway, even if we wanted to, it would be inappropriate. So we don't spend time together without the children, and a lot of the time, Alice is with us too. Edward spends a lot of time outside of the city, visiting friends in Connecticut and Martha's Vineyard and God knows where else. Life is just one big party for him; must be nice. He says that this fall he'll attend grad school, but who knows.

"So where'd you go this time?" I ask, watching Irina wander toward the books.

"Nantucket."

"Mm."

"Friend had a birthday."

"Who was she this time?"

"Oh, Bella. You pretend you don't care, but then you ask these transparent questions. What am I supposed to think?"

"That I _don't_ really care and I'm making polite conversation."

Alistair hands me a book he wants, and I tuck it under my arm.

"That's such sh-crap," Edward mumbles. Irina hears his almost-curse, and giggles, sliding her hand through his.

I shrug, caught between genuine and false indifference.

"Edward, come on." Alistair calls back.

"Bella, can we go back to the books while they play the piano?" Irina asks, letting go of Edward's hand.

"Sure," I say, turning to go with her.

Edward sighs loudly behind me. He's almost as bad as the twins, pulling a face when I refuse to play his games. "Claire Spencer. She turned twenty four."

I smile somewhat smugly and follow Irina back to her books.

* * *

Edward disappears after bringing us home. I glance around, inwardly glad that at this time, Tanya is usually safely ensconced in the apartment with her in-home yoga instructor, working out. Having her see us pile out of her step-son's car would just suck.

Upstairs, I hurry the kids through showers and a quick dinner with Mrs. Cope, explaining I want to get down to Bryant Park for tonight's movie. We even use the Masen's driver so that we can make it on time.

We've gone a couple times now, always meeting up with Jessica, a nanny I've known since my days with the Whitakers, and her charge, seven year old Riley. The park is packed when we show up. I text Jessica, letting her know we've arrived, and she messages back, telling me where they're sitting.

"Hey, you." She grins and waves when we join them on their blanket. Irina and Alistair add their blankets and pillows to the mix, offering Riley some of the flavored popcorn we brought from home.

"Hi, Jess." I sigh as I settle in, looking forward to a little down time.

"One of those days, huh?" she asks, smiling knowingly.

"Kind of, yeah. Not bad...just...go-go-go."

She nods, popping a Cheetoh in to her mouth. "Want one?"

Nodding, I snag a couple. We chat about what we've been doing since we hung out the week before, bringing each other up to date on our lives and the children.

"You hear Lauren moved?"

"No way!" I gasp. "She had it so good with the Van Mullens. What happened?"

"They're getting divorced; Mrs. is taking the kids."

"Whoa."

"I know."

"Bella?"

I glance down at Irina, who's playing a game on her iPad while she waits for the movie to start.

"What's up?"

"What's a three letter word for happiness?"

I think for a minute, then smile. "Joy."

"Oh yeah!" She shakes her head, quickly returning to her game.

Before long, the crowd quiets and the film starts. This is one of my favorite things to do in the city; I've been coming since the summer before freshman year, when Angela and Jacob introduced me to it.

I'm totally sucked in to the scene onscreen when someone sits down right next to me. Irritation flares; this place is crowded, but not to the point of having to impede on people's personal space. I tense, ready to scoot away, when the familiar scent of grass and cigarettes...and caramel, this time...wafts my way.

"I thought you had a date," I mutter, barely turning my head.

"I did," says Edward, thrusting a box of bonbons at me. "With you."

Now I do look at him, giving him my best _oh really? f_ace.

"I cancelled," he whispers, shrugging. "She's a bore."

I watch him for a moment, his profile in the darkening light, illuminated by a light at the other end of the park. He's classically handsome, straight nose, sharp jaw...a face I want to smack with my hands, then soothe with my mouth. He turns a bit, letting me know he knows I'm looking.

"What?" he mouths.

"What's up?" I mouth back.

He hesitates, running a hand through his hair. "I...feel very protective over you."

"Oh. I...we're okay..." I frown. "Eleazar's out there waiting, actually. He drove us tonight."

Shrugging, he offers me a caramel, and I take it.

"You're kind of innocent, you know?" he murmurs.

I don't know. But maybe he does. I take a little bite of my sweet, savoring.

"I like movies." His mouth, right at my ear. It tickles, giving me goosebumps. I haven't flirted this vaguely, this ambiguously, since high school. If that's what we're even doing. It's frustrating, this almost-but-not-quite.

I know he dates different girls, like, all the time. And I know that I'm content being single right now. I enjoy my days, and my nights, even the ones I spend in my room with a book. I've always been that way. Edward and I...we don't really seem to have very much in common, and yet, this thing between us crackles.

We remain silent, arms just barely touching, for the rest of the movie. His nearness unnerves me, and I resent that he's distracted me so. I spend hour-long minutes wondering if he's as aware of me as I am of him.

When the credits roll, I'm relieved, yet my muscles are tense from holding still for so long. I look at Edward, but he's staring at the blanket, at the place where our hands are side by side.

* * *

_**i know tanya's an awful mom/catty biotch/cliche. let's just enjoy it. sometimes it's satisfying to revel in the hot mess of it all. **_

_**and we can agree everyone else is dysfunctional as well. so.**_

_**thanks so much for your reviews. i don't think you know what it means to me. today is tiny tyrants 1st birthday. we spent the morning w/ him in the ER, worried he might have a concussion from a nasty bump (and subsequent puking). he doesn't, thank God, but the whole day's been us watching him be sick and sleep instead of try birthday cake. life. sigh.**_

_**song: *Personal - Stars**_


	41. Account

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**Story - Appease**_

_**Prompt - account**_

_**NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

"You know," says Alice, dipping in to her Greek yogurt. "My parents have a pool, as well."

I stare wordlessly at her, momentarily confused. We're sharing a light brunch in Bryant Park, eating while Alistair, Irina and several of their friends ride Le Carrousel.

"My mother and Carlisle," she adds.

"Oh. I...didn't realize..."

"I had other parents?" she teases.

"No." I roll my eyes, smiling. "That your mother was remarried."

"Of course. They live over in Boerum Hill."

I shake my head, never having heard of it.

"Brooklyn."

"Oh! Okay...cool."

"You seem surprised," Alice says, licking yogurt from her spoon.

"Oh, come on. Your father lives a certain way, and at one point he was married to your mother. Of course I expected her to live around here."

"Well...to be honest, she was never as in to that sort of lifestyle as my father. She comes from old money...Esme Platt...her family's been around forever... but she's mellow and real, you know?"

Sipping my tea, I nod, having heard of the name.

"Dad's family had money too, but he pretty much built his little empire all by himself."

"Ah. I see."

"Yeah. Hence the pride and arrogance."

I wince, looking away. The carousel slows, and the twins tumble off, red faced and giddy. I hope they manage to keep down their breakfasts.

"Does that bother you?" asks Alice. She's generally sweeter than Edward, yet a lot more direct. He tends to be circuitous, while her words are like arrows, pointy and straight.

"What? Your comments about your father?"

She nods.

I shrug. "I've heard it all."

Laughing acerbically, she tosses the remainder of her snack in to the trash can. "You can stop being diplomatic now, Bella Poppins. I'm asking you an honest question, friend to friend."

"Ugh, not the nanny names," I say, making a face. "No, it doesn't bother me, per se, but it does sadden me somewhat. I'm pretty close to my Dad, even though my parents split when I was little. We spent summers together every year, and when I was seventeen I moved back to Washington State to finish off high school in his town. I get along with both of my parents, actually."

I blink. I'm not usually so forthcoming.

Alice smiles gently. "That wasn't so hard, was it?"

"No. But there's conversation and then there's unsolicited commentary. You might be open to either one, but in my line of work, I had to learn really quickly which was appropriate, and when."

"Fair enough."

I nod, watching the twins confer with their friends before jogging over to us.

"Can we go again?" asks Irina, blue eyes shining.

"Ugh...aren't you pukey yet?" I ask.

"Only old people get pukey," sniffs Alistair.

"Fine, then. Go ahead. One more time and that's _it_."

"Spoiled brats." Alice snorts, shaking her head. "Not that I can talk. Edward and I wanted for nothing growing up."

"I doubt that's changed."

"Yeah, I guess it hasn't."

"So...the pool. Are you inviting us over?"

"Yeah. If you want, I mean. My mom knows the situation with Tanya... but she likes the twins."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Shoot."

"Did your father cheat on your mother with Tanya?"

"Of course he did."

I nod; I'd had a feeling.

"They carried on for quite some time...and then my mother found out and filed for a divorce...and ended up with her lawyer."

I gape at her; she giggles, nodding.

"It's a soap opera, I swear."

"I..."

"I know. In their defense, though, they're really very normal. Low key. My mom's an artist, and Carlisle still practices law. They're loaded, but not showy about it."

_The exact opposite of the Masens_, I think to myself.

"So that's why you live in Brooklyn."

"No, I live in Brooklyn because I like it." She shrugs. "Having my parents close-by is just a bonus."

"Where does Edward live?" I blurt out.

You'd think I'd know these things by now, but I'm careful never to cross the line. People generally tell things when they're ready, sort of like Alice right now, with me. I've learned it's best to let things happen organically, to allow friendships a bit of breathing room.

And then there's Edward, who purposely remains an enigma, I think. Revels in it. Wears his mysterious like a cloak, like he knows it only adds to the appeal.

Alice smirks at me, looking so much like Edward it's alarming. "He's got a loft in SoHo."

"Of course he does," I mumble.

"Don't do it, Bella."

"I definitely will not."

"I love my brother," she continues, like I didn't just speak, "but he can be a slut sometimes."

"Ouch," I say, frowning in disapproval. I mean, I suspected as much, but damn. Piercing words.

"I'm just being real. Women love him, and he loves them."

"I know, but just...he's not even here to defend himself," I chuckle.

She says nothing, and I don't look at her, because Alice doesn't need words to say what she wants to say.

* * *

Over the next couple of days, I battle with myself.

On one hand, my problems are not that of my employer's, and I can do what I want as long as it hasn't been explicitly forbidden. Forgiveness, not permission, remember? On the other, there is such a thing as discernment, and I suspect that bring the second Mrs. Masen's children to the home of the first just might be a no-no.

In the end I say screw it. I'm ready for a change of scenery, and fate deals us a fair hand anyway: Edward Sr. and Tanya leave town. Their anniversary falls on the last Friday in June, so they make arrangements to vacation down in Naples from Thursday evening to Saturday.

Mr. Masen corners me in the kitchen on Thursday afternoon, while Eleazar helps Tanya downstairs with her luggage.

"There you are," he says smoothly.

I turn slowly, a carton of juice in one hand and a glass in the other. "Hi, Mr. Masen...is everything okay?"

"It's wonderful, Bella. Thank you for asking." He smiles, all charm and good looks. This is probably how Edward the second (but really, the only) will look when he's in his fifties. Anyhow, our interactions are rare, and as a result, I'm still not fully comfortable with him, regardless of how DILF-y he might appear .

This probably has something to do with Edward's nanny stories, but I try not to think about that right now.

"I've been meaning to thank you for a job well done with my children. They absolutely love you."

"Thank you, sir; I appreciate that," I say politely, setting the carton and glass down. "They're great kids."

"Yes." He nods, reaching in to his pocket and producing a wad of cash. "A little extra spending money. I've already transferred this month's funds to your account, so you should be covered in that regard, but just in case."

Good grief. "Just in case" money for me, growing up, was an extra ten or twenty. He just handed me three or four hundred dollars. I won't be so gauche as to count it in front of him, but I can tell.

"Thank you, Mr. Masen." I nod, accepting the money and putting it in to my back pocket.

He winks, and then leaves – thankfully before Tanya comes back up here and finds us in the same room together.

Friday morning is overcast and muggy. I'm in a great mood, though, and so are the twins. They know we're going to Brooklyn today. Apparently they've been there before, though never with a nanny. They seem thrilled that I'm so willing to go along on such a secret.

I use my _just in case_ money to summon a cab, and then we're off, weaving through the damp, silvery streets. I text Alice to her know we're en route, and she replies instantly, saying she's just arrived, herself.

Truth be told, I'm excited to meet Alice and Edward's mother. I know just bits and pieces, and I'm curious about her.

But then we pull up to the front door, and I see Edward's car parked conspicuously outside. My heart drops to my toes. I feel like I'm sneaking around behind his back, which is utterly ridiculous. We're nothing but friends, and if anything, I'm even closer friends with his sister. If she wants to invite me to their childhood home...or whatever it is...then I'm perfectly in my right to do so.

The thing is, though, I _do _know Edward. He thinks the world revolves around him, and that everything I do or don't do has something to do with him.

So I'm not at all surprised when it is he who opens the door, a deceptively serene smile slicing across his face.

"Twins," he shouts, prompting rowdy replies and monster hugs from Alistair and Irina. I close the door gingerly, looking around the foyer. Alice shoves her way forward, mouthing "sorry" to me as she nods toward Edward. Right behind her is a woman, alike in stature and style to her daughter, but more similar in coloring to her son. She's just as beautiful as they are.

"I'm so glad to meet you, Bella," she says graciously, clasping my hands between hers. "My children are quite, quite taken with you."

My eyes flicker to Edward just as his flicker away from me.

"It's nice to meet you, too, Mrs. Cullen."

"I'm definitely just Esme," she says, ruffling Alistair's hair.

"Thank you for having us over today, Ms. Esme," Irina says, giving her a gently hug. "Can we go in the pool right now?"

"Of course, sweet," Esme says, the dimples in her cheeks showing. Jeez, she's stunning. They leave the room and we follow behind, walking though a sitting area and then a kitchen.

I look back at Edward, who, as usual, has either no concept for personal space or little regard for mine.

"Fancy meeting you here," he says.

"Alice invited the kids over. To go swimming." He knows this. But I say it, anyway.

"And you? Are you going to go swimming?"

"I don't know," I say, not so sure anymore. "Maybe."

"Well, don't let me stop you."

"So...what are _you_ doing here?" I ask, pausing near the windows overlooking the pool, where Alistair is busy trying to shove Alice in.

"Me?" He scoffs, shaking his head.

I laugh, a little cautiously. "What?"

"Seeing the nanny in a bikini is every naughty boy's wet dream, Bella."

* * *

**_*Golden Porsche - Mogwai_**

_**thanks for the love and compassion and anecdotes, loves! tiny tyrant is feeling remarkably better. he hasn't puked since...last night sometime. yay!**_


	42. Window

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**Story - Appease**_

_**Prompt - window**_

_**Dialogue Flex: "Thank goodness it's Friday!" she said.**_

_** NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

I return my gaze to the window, letting Edward's childish words drop to the floor like unwanted toys. I'm not willing to play with him, not this way, not when his moods swing so wildly and it's impossible to tell whether he truly likes and respects me, or if I simply amuse him.

He remains at my side, no doubt wondering why I dropped the ball. Well, I dropped it on purpose, asshole.

After a moment he shifts, and in the corner of my eye, I see him start toward the door.

"I don't like when you objectify me," I say.

"Don't you?"

My hands are in fists; I unclench them. "I'm the children's caretaker, not your personal slut."

"I never said you were."

"Then don't act like a cocky prick."

"That's repetitive."

My heart races; I don't know why I'm so pissed, but I am. I hate that he affects me. I hate that I can't laugh off the inappropriate things he says. But I can't and I'm so angry right now that my fantasies of slapping him might come to fruition if I don't escape.

So I look straight at him. "I can't talk to you. Leave me alone, please. I mean it."

He whips around, his expression one of genuine surprise. "I don't mean to..."

"Yes, you do."

"I'm only teasing you, Bella."

"Don't." Pushing past him, I go outside to join the others.

* * *

Carlisle and Esme live in a renovated brownstone, complete with gleaming hardwood floors and a garden in the back, resplendent with trees, shrubbery, and flowers. The little pool the children are currently splashing around in is something of a novelty in neighborhoods like this; Esme tells me that she and Carlisle had it installed while Edward and Alice were younger. It's not big, in fact, it's kind of tiny, but it's perfect for days like this one, and, I'd imagine, summer nights with your sweetheart. Esme is proud of her garden, and she gives me a little tour..

She's laid back and easy to talk to, more so than even her children, but it's impossible to ignore the cultured, rounded way with which she speaks. There's something delicately regal about her. I don't know Tanya Masen's history, but her demeanor has always felt forced to me, as if she's bought her way in to wealth, and like she's uncomfortable in her own skin. Esme couldn't be more of a polar opposite, and I can't help but wonder what kind of an idiot Edward the first had to have been to go from such grace to such gaudiness.

A huge splash distracts us from our chat, and I know, even before looking, that Edward has joined the pool party. I watch him from the protection of my sunglasses, acknowledging that yeah...he makes me feel. A lot.

It's a good thing I've learned to control my feelings. It's what separates humans from animals: the ability to operate in the cognitive instead of just the visceral. Because that's all this is: primal, physical attraction. I can admire Edward's face and even the sublime lines of his body without acting on that attraction.

Especially when he's being such an insufferable jerk. I see it, I know it: his pretty face, and his wallet, have gotten him into any place –and any girl –he's ever wanted. I can't be a part of that. I won't. I couldn't do it on principle, but I also couldn't do it because he would hurt me.

After hanging out in the pool for awhile, we have lunch. It feels good to get out of the sun for a while, even though I know we're just about to go right back in.

Edward and I play hide and go seek with our eyes. It's involuntary; for me, anyway. I know he probably feels bad about our conversation earlier, and I'm glad. I want him to feel bad. I want him to know that I'm not another one of his spineless skanks, waiting breathlessly to be graced with his attention.

I'm still sitting there after we're finished eating, debating whether or not I want to join the children in the pool, when Esme sits down again.

"Bella?"

I look up, sliding my shades on to head. "Hi..."

"Aren't you going to go in? It's getting late."

"I probably should, yeah."

"Everything okay?"

"Oh, I'm fine. Thanks." I smile, nodding.

"Is there something going on between you and my son?"

My face warms to burning. "No, there isn't."

She nods, squinting at the pool.

"Why?" I ask, curiosity getting the better of me.

"I suppose I assumed because of the way he's been looking at you since you arrived. And the way you look at him. I thought..." She glances at the pool, and then back to me. "I thought..."

Frowning, I stare at my hands. I'm a bit embarrassed. For someone who has always prided themselves on keeping cool and not showcasing my emotions, I sure slipped up.

"We...we're friends. Usually."

"He's not as bad as he pretends to be," Esme says with a sigh.

"With all due respect, he _is_ your son. You have to say that," I laugh, even though the truth of it all hurts.

She nods, laughing lowly. "I know, I know. The thing is, I raised him. He thinks he has to be like his father, his father whom he actually resents. He thinks that because they share blood, they have to share personality traits..." Shaking her head, she looks straight at me. "I've been fighting for him for a long time."

"What do you mean?"

"He's been going through this phase for awhile now, and while it probably sounds naïve to you, I can assure you that it _is_ just a phase. He's always been appealing to girls, and when he hit puberty...his father sort of played it up for him. Made it look like it was the way to go." She wrinkles her nose in disgust. "I always allowed him and Alice to spend as much time with their father as they wanted, because I didn't want our failed marriage to sever their relationships. Sometimes I wonder if it was the right choice. Alice drifted away on her own, but Edward...seemed to think they had things in common. Is as if Edward wants to be different but he's resigned himself to being the same."

"_Do _they have things in common?"

"Of course. They're both handsome, charismatic, ambitious men. Except Edward's father uses these things irresponsibly whereas my son has more of a conscience. He's not nearly as ruthless." She smiles. "And he has a bigger heart."

"I can see that," I admit, because I can. Edward is all heart when it comes to the children, and he's had his moments with me, too.

"It's hard, watching your little boy grow up and then leave home. You have to trust that after he makes a mess of his life, he'll eventually return to the proper path..."

"Like the prodigal son," I say.

"Pretty much." She places the towel she brought out on to my lap. "Anyway. Go enjoy yourself, Bella. I'm sure Irina and Alistair would love to play with you for awhile."

"All right." I pull my sundress off and leave it with my shoes and bag, keeping my eyes off of Edward. I don't want to know if he's looking at me.

* * *

Despite Edward's offer to drive us home, I call a cab.

"You're stubborn," he remarks as I get off the phone with the cab company.

I nod. "I know."

"That's okay. I can be stubborn, too."

"I know."

He exhales slowly. "I'm sorry I offended you earlier, Bella. I din't think you'd take it so seriously."

Maybe it's what Esme said to me before, or perhaps it's things I kind of already sensed...or maybe I'm just tired and not on my toes, but I don't want to be angry with him.

"I didn't either," I say with a sigh. I drop down on to the couch and he follows. "I just...you confuse me. Sometimes you're sweet and sometimes you're kind of a jerk."

Shrugging, he nods. "Sounds about right, although...I wouldn't exactly refer to myself as 'sweet'."

"But you can be, sometimes."

Our eyes meet, but we look away quickly, like there's too much open honesty in the room without adding in the nakedness of eye contact.

"Some people deserve sweetness," he says, almost to himself.

It feels rhetorical, so I say nothing.

Mrs. Cope meets us at the door when we get home, smiling at our sunburnt tiredness.

"Oh, looks like you all had a good day."

"We did," I say, yawning.

"Hungry?"

"Starving!" Alistair says, pushing past toward the kitchen. He lets out an excited yell when he gets there.

"You got pizza, didn't you?" Irina cries, taking off after him. "Thank goodness it's Friday!"

"You'd swear they never got anything they wanted," huffs Mrs. Cope, but she's smiling.

I wolf down as much pizza as the twins, maybe even more, before heading to my room to take a shower. Originally we'd planned on having another movie marathon in the TV room, but I think we're all a little too sleepy.

Once the children are in bed, I snuggle down beneath the blankets with my new Kindle, looking forward to reading. I hardly make it past the first few pages before falling asleep.

* * *

In the morning, a knock at my door stirs me from my dreams.

And I _was_ dreaming, of underwater arms and legs, of hands in my hair...

"Hold on," I call out, trying to disentangle myself from the sheets.

Mrs. Cope stands there, a small red box in her hands. She smiles rather knowingly at me. "This was delivered a few moments ago."

"Really? From who?" I try to remember if my mother mentioned sending a care package recently.

She purses her lips. "I suppose you'd better open it to see."

But then I think I know. I think she knows too. "Thank you," I say, accepting the box.

Inside, nestled in pretty paper, sits another, smaller box, _Richart_ inscribed across the top. I open it to find about twenty little squares of designer chocolate, decorated in whimsical swirls of color. A small note flutters to the floor.

_Some people deserve sweetness._

* * *

**_i love hearing from you guys. always. even those of you who are so righteously indignant toward edward and his crap, haha... ;)_**

**_also, i can't respond to your reviews if you block private messaging silly gooses. geese._**

**_*Mogwai - I Know You Are, But What AM I?_**


	43. Aromatic

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**Story - Appease**_

_**Prompt - aromatic**_

_**NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

The cynical part of me wonders if Edward has the numbers of prominent chocolatiers on speed dial, so that he can make amends, seduce or impress at moment's notice.

That is who I have become in this place, this concrete jungle.

But the softer part of me, the Bella-deep-inside, who wrote her own plays as a little girl and went fishing with her father and cried at movies with her mother, the hidden romantic...

...accepts the gesture for what it just might be.

I don't melt. But I thaw.

I pick up my phone and scroll through the texts, to a recent one from O&O ("One and Only"...he put it in there himself, so that I could contact him for "play dates" with his siblings).

_Thank you for the chocolates. They're unlike any I've ever had._

As soon as I send it, I wince, half-expecting him to reply with a comment about how _he_ would be unlike anything I've ever had...

But he behaves. Even though I just know he's thinking it. I know because I'm thinking it and he's way saucier.

_I meant what I said. And I really am sorry. Enjoy them._

_I will. Thank you._

I put my phone away and choose a chocolate.

* * *

"We have housekeepers who can do that," Tanya says, observing me from the doorway.

I'm in the middle of cleaning my room. I told the twins to tidy their own rooms, as well, and figured what better way to teach than by example?

"I know, and they do," I say, straightening up, Swiffer in hand. It's mine. "But I just wanted to do a quick...sprucing up."

"I see." She smiles. "That's good. Anyway, I'm just letting you know that we'll be leaving Monday morning for our annual trip to Southampton. We'll be there for a week."

"For the Fourth, right?"

"Right. Mr. Masen will join us on Wednesday, but I like to go a little earlier."

"Of course. It sounds nice."  
"Have you been?"

"To the Hamptons? Yes. I used to go with the Whitakers; quite often."

"How could I forget? Of course." She shakes her head and smiles, and for a second, she's just a girl, chatting with another girl. It's gone in a second though. "Well. Have the children ready, please."

She turns to leave, but I remember something. "I will. And, Tanya?"

"Yes?"

"I told Alistair we could bring his telescope. He's been wanting to use it, but he can't really see –"

Her words, her nod, are brisk. "That's fine."

* * *

I'm riding my bike through Central Park, taking paths and routes at whim. I've been at it for quite awhile, stopping sometimes to look at stuff or chill. It's rare to get so much time alone, especially during the daytime.

Mr. Masen decided he wanted to spend time with Alistair and Irina, so I was dismissed from my duties, given an impromptu Sunday afternoon off.

I'm glad the man wants to hang out with his kids, but I'm also a little put off that it happens so infrequently. I don't know why I feel this way; it's not like I'm unused to this sort of thing.

Not all families are like the Masens, though. Take the Whitakers, for example. Katherine and Marcus had four children, all under the age of ten. I helped out, but I didn't parent, really. They were both busy people, especially Marcus with his Wall Street job, but they were present. Their children _knew_ them.

But the family before that? Just as detached as my current employers.

And so it goes.

I think about Alice and Edward, bouncing back and forth between two distinctly different homes and upbringings. The warmth, acceptance and groundedness of Carlisle and Esme's Brooklyn brownstone versus the cold hubris of Edward and Tanya's UWS penthouse. I can see how the duality has affected both Alice and Edward, although Alice definitely takes more after their mother. Edward is still up in the air. He could go either way, and I hope for his sake –and Esme's –he lands on the right side.

My phone vibrates with a text. I pull off to the side and plop on to the grass to check it: Jessica, asking if we're on for Tuesday night's movie in the park. I message back, letting her know we'll be in Southampton for the week. She tells me to have fun, and that's that.

I wonder if Carlisle and Esme go to the Hamptons, ever? Probably.

Before I can get going again, my phone vibrates again, and this time it's Alice. As if she's on the same wavelength as me, she asks if we're heading down to the beach this week.

_Yes. we leave tomorrow_

_cool. I might head down with Jasper. His family has a place._

_Fun :) _

_maybe we'll see you if you get time off_

_maybe_

I decide not to ask about Edward.

If he goes to the Hamptons, it's better I don't know about it.

Standing up, I brushed myself off before getting back on my bike. I've had it since I came to New York, and though I don't get to ride it as often as I'd like, I do go sometimes. Irina seems to enjoy riding more than Alistair, but he'll go. Still, there's a difference between riding with two eight year olds and then going hard by myself.

It's Sunday, so there are a lot of people out and about. I'm making my way past the North Meadow when I see a small game of touch football going on, half the players shirtless. If I remember correctly, football is only allowed during the fall, but this isn't the first time people have broken _that _rule. There aren't too many guys playing, anyway.

Then the sunlight hits just right, illuminating a familiar head of hair. Few people have hair that color, sort of a bronzy auburn. My heart skips a beat, seeing Edward so unexpectedly.

My bike hits a pebble, veering a little, and I pause, breathing heavily. The last thing I need is to face plant or cause a mini accident because I was drooling over sweaty, half naked boys tumbling around in the grass.

God, it really is like an Abercrombie & Fitch ad. Snorting to myself, I continue on...

...but then someone whistles, loud: a catcall.

It might not be for me, and it would be embarrassing to assume incorrectly, so I ignore it.

But then it happens again, and I hear my name.

Swallowing, I ease my feet to the ground and look, and here comes Edward, flanked by several of his buddies.

"Hey," he says, flushed from play.

"Hi." I give him a little wave, glancing at his friends. One of them, a blue eyed blond, grins back.

"_Damn_," he says, nodding in approval. "You're the kid's nanny?"

I nod tersely, eyeing Edward. What has he been saying?

But he rolls his eyes and shoves his friend. "Shut up, James. Here. Fetch." He tosses the football away, over his shoulder.

James laughs, shaking his head as he and the other guy jog off.

"Sorry," Edward says, coming closer.

"Like you're so different," I tease, but I'm smiling.

He shrugs. "Maybe, maybe not."

We look at each other, like really look. It's uncomfortable and sort of weirdly thrilling. His eyes are usually a vivid, unapologetic green but today they're slightly hazel, like Alice's.

"So, you're just riding around?" he asks, glancing away.

"Yeah. It's been awhile since I got to do it by myself."

"You usually take the twins?" he asks, sounding surprised.

I nod. "Every now and then."

"Edward, _come on_!" one of his friends yells. They're all shuffling around impatiently, like they can't proceed without him.

"Why don't you stick around?" he asks, taking a couple of steps back.

"What, and like, watch?"

"Yeah."

It's on the tip of my tongue to say no, but I've been riding for awhile and maybe...it wouldn't be so bad. "For awhile," I agree, swinging my leg over the bike seat so that I can walk beside it.

"We van get something to eat after."

He's gone before I can say no. I sit uneasily beneath a nearby tree, resting my bike on the ground. I brought my Kindle in case I wanted to find a quiet spot and relax, and while it's not that quiet here, it's good enough. I alternate between reading and watching the guys tumble around. They're all pretty good looking, but none of them are like Edward. I'm not sure what it is about him; I guess it's charisma. Some people just have it.

Eventually, though, I'm more in to my book than the game. I must lose time, because the luster of day has faded by the time Edward walks over to me, a t-shirt clinging damply to his chest.

"All done?" I ask.

He nods, wincing.

"What?"

"Scraped my knee."

Sure enough, there's a nasty looking cut, raw and red and slightly bloody.

"Ew." I rummage around in my bag until I find the Neosporin spray I keep for emergencies. Normally the children use it, but...Edward qualifies. "Come here."

"It'll sting."

"No, it won't," I say, beckoning him closer.

He comes hesitantly, and then sits next to me, leg extended.

I spray, and he jerks. "Stop," I laugh, blowing on it.

He hisses, trying to grab at my hand, but I spray again. "Ouch."

"Don't be such a baby," I chide, shaking my head. "There. Just wash it out properly when you get home...there's grass and dirt in there."

"Thanks," he murmurs, examining the wound.

"I should probably get back," I say, standing up.

"Come with me...I'm hungry. I'll bring you back home."

"I..." I'm hungry. But I'm also conflicted, so I blurt out what I'm thinking. "I'm a little nervous about what Tanya would think if she saw me with you."

"Is that why you act this way?"

"What way?" I ask, trying not to come off as defensive.

"Like a strict nanny chastising a bad boy."

Snorting, I pick my bag up off the ground. "Behave like a child and you'll get treated like one."

"Touche."

I decide to just reason with him. He's far from stupid, and who knows? Maybe he'll be able to respect where I'm coming from. I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy his company and having him in my life...it's just a sticky situation. "No, but...seriously, I need this job. Your dad and Tanya are my employers, and that means I should probably keep my distance, to be professional. But then there's what she tried to do years ago and that...that's just..."

"Gross."

"Well, yeah, but I could see her being weird if she thought we were friends."

"Or lovers."

"Edward."

"God, I'm just playing," he says, grabbing my hand and tangling our fingers.

"I know..."

"Relax," he says, bumping our shoulders. "I won't bite, unless -"

"Unless I want you to. Yeah, I've heard all the lines, Casanova."

He grins devilishly. "I'm not even gonna lie, Bella, that's what I like about you: you're so feisty."

"Is that it?" I ask dryly, pretending like our clasped hands don't make me jittery with butterflies.

"That's it, but it's not _it._"

"Then what is _it_?"

He stoops down to pick up my bike, never letting go of me, and we begin to walk slowly. "You're different...and smart...and cute...and you can be playful when you're not growling at me."

"I sound like a puppy."

He yanks my hand so I look at him. He's exasperated.

"I'm just saying, Edward. A laundry list of adjectives tells me nothing."

"What do you want? Sonnets? Poetry?"

"I want you to be yourself."

"So you do want me."

I bite back a smile.

"You do. Good. I want you, too."

I don't bother responding. He seems to be on a roll, here, and it's an amusing glimpse in to his mind.

"What're you in the mood to eat?" he asks suddenly, switching gears.

"Really, we don't have to get anything. I should get back."

"Do you have a curfew?" he asks in mock concern.

I roll my eyes, trying to take my hand back, but he just holds on tighter.

"Don't worry, Bella Poppins," he says in this uppity British accent. "Once we sup togetha, I shall spirit you home in two shakes of a lambs tail."

I can't even help it; I burst in to laughter. "You're ridiculous."

"So where do you want to eat?"

"I don't know. Surprise me."

* * *

We end up at this place called Big Nick's. The sign says burgers and pizzas but their menu's practically a book, crammed with every possible type of food imaginable. The pizza selection alone is overwhelming, but there are a couple Edward swears by, so I let him order for us.

"We'll share," he says.

We find a table and sit, surrounded by the aromatic smells of garlic and rosemary...and grease, to be honest...as well as the din of a dozen conversations. It's cozy and warm, and not what I was expecting from Edward.

Conversation flows easily. The argument we had at his mother's house feels like it happened to two other people...because right now, our dialogue is effortless: books we're reading, shows we watched in high school, sports we don't like, travel (places he's visited, places I'd like to), guacamole recipes...

On the surface, we still have nothing in common, but then his edges coincide with mine, like a jigsaw puzzle where all the pieces fit.

All in all it's interesting, seeing this side of Edward, slumming in shorts and a t-shirt while eating pizza.

"What?" He grins, catching me watch him.

Shaking my head, I smile and look at my pizza.

Underneath the table, his foot nudges mine. I withdraw slightly...my foot, myself...and take another bite. Focus on chewing, and swallowing. It's not hard. My pizza's amazing.

"Bella," he almost sings, staring at me as he eats.

"I like you like this," I confess before I can wimp out.

"How?"

"Normal."

"I'm usually abnormal?"

"You know what I mean."

"I don't," he laughs.

"You do. You know. You wondered earlier if I kept away because of my job, and that's a huge part of it, but I also keep away because you're a player...and I'm not a game." My heart pounds in the wake of my spontaneous honesty.

He wipes his mouth. "Okay."

_Okay?_ I want to say. _That's it?_

Uncertain now, I take a sip of coke and look surreptitiously at my phone, not wanting to lose track of time again.

"It's just about seven."

I nod, looking up.

"Are you really that anxious to get away from me?" he asks, sitting back in his chair.

"No," I admit.

"I'm not going to play you," he says.

I want to trust him. I just don't know if I can.

When Edward brings me home, he drops me off at the end of the street. He takes my bike out of the trunk – I'm surprised it fit in there to begin with – and gives it back to me.

A warm breeze blows, tickling my hair around my face. I'm tired, in a time-well-spent kind of way.

"So, I had fun," I say, easing on to my bike.

"I did too," he says, nodding.

"Thanks for dinner."

"No problem."

"Well, bye..." I bite my lip and start to go, but then his hand is on my arm.

"I'm going to be out of town this week, but when I get back, can I see you?" he asks.

"I don't know," I say, frowning at the sidewalk. "Let's just...hang out. Like we've been doing. With the twins."

He says nothing, and when I finally look up at him, he seems annoyed. Or maybe disappointed.

"I would like to," I say, touching his arm the way he just touched mine. "But I need to focus on my job. I can't mess up right now. You understand that, right?"

"Sure."

"Edward," I sigh.

"I get it. I do."

I hate that I actually feel a little guilty, but it is what it is.

But then he catches me completely off guard, and kisses my cheek. Having him so close is dizzying.

"Good night," he says.

"Good night." I ride away, down the sidewalk, before he can do anything else. Or before I can.

* * *

_***Yppah - never mess with sunday **_


	44. Dormant

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**Story - Appease**_

_**Prompt - dormant**_

_**NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

I hurry Irina and Alistair through their morning rituals, getting them ready to go to the Hamptons for their annual seaside holiday. We packed our bags the night before, so that we wouldn't have too much to do come morning, but things happen...

...like the strap on Irina's swimsuit snapping, necessitating I grab two others, just in case. Then Alistair can't find the book he wants to bring, only to realize he left it in the laundry room –what he was doing in there, I don't know.

Meanwhile, Tanya seems rather sour for someone who is on their way out of town for a vacation. She speaks very little to me or the children, choosing to eat breakfast in her bedroom, curtains drawn. She seems so have mood swings like this: sometimes she's almost friendly, and other times she's sullen and withdrawn. I haven't heard any arguments between her and Mr. Masen, nor have their been grumblings amongst the staff, so I really don't know what her problem is.

None of that matters, though. Giddiness effervesces through me, just from knowing that in a few hours I'll be breathing salty, fresh air and feeling sand between my toes.

Outside, the sun is already high and hot, having already burned off any lingering morning coolness. Heat shimmers and prisms over the asphalt, making me wonder what the temperature is, and what it'll be out in Southampton.

Mrs. Cope and Eleazar help the twins and I load our bags in to the car, where Tanya is already waiting. She's got headphones in, and her eyes are closed.

Honestly, that's good enough for me. I make sure Irina and Alistair have books and snacks of their own, grab my Kindle, and settle in for the ride.

* * *

The Masens own a pretty big two story home on the beach.

There's a pool in the back, and a tennis court on the side. A "smaller" – five bedroom – house near the end of the driveway turns out to be a guesthouse belonging to the property.

Another pair of housekeepers welcomes us inside. They're younger than Mrs. Cope back in the city, but just as polite and warm. They bustle around, taking our bags and asking if we're hungry. Tanya disappears in to the master suite, and I sit at the island in the kitchen with the twins for a lunch of chicken salad sandwiches, fruit and kettle chips.

"Can we go swimming?" Irina, of course. My little mermaid.

"Definitely," I say, nodding. "Finish up your food and we'll go."

Even Alistair seems amenable. He finishes before either of us, and scampers off to his room. I help the housekeepers, Carmen and Sue, clear the table and then Irina and I change in to our swimsuits.

The Fourth isn't until Wednesday, so we have a day and half before Mr. Masen shows up. This doesn't seem to deter Tanya from enjoying herself, though. She emerges around dusk, to my surprise, dressed like she's going out. I'd have thought from her behavior all day she'd be staying in, but...I guess not.

"I'm leaving now, Bella," she says, standing at the edge of the pool, where the twins and I are turning in to prunes from being in the water all afternoon.

"Oh, okay." I nod, giving her smile.

She smiles back distractedly, checking her phone. "All right. Bye, Alistair. Irina. Be good for Bella."

"They always are," I assure her, vaguely amused. As if she knows how they _ever behave._ She never asks.

Her heels clack across the patio and then it's just us again, quiet but for intermittent splashes and the constant crash of surf.

I'm so tired after dinner.

It's kind of like life back in the city: we shower, eat dinner together, and then pass out while having a movie marathon. Only tonight, Alistair catches me before I nod off.

"Bella."

"Hm?" I yawn.

"Let's go look at the stars. I set everything up already."

"Okay," I agree, shaking Irina. "Come on, let's go look through Alistair's telescope."

She yawns a couple of times, but follows us back to her brother's bedroom. I switch off the light for optimum viewing, and we take turns looking through the scope. Alistair's obviously well read when it comes to astronomy and constellations. Even after Irina goes to lay down, I stick around, taking turns and listening to star stats.

He's telling about the legend of Ophiuchus when a bright blaze off in the distance catches my attention. Someone's probably having a bonfire down there. I rest my elbows on the window sill, lulled by the breeze and Alistair's increasingly drowsy voice.

* * *

On Wednesday, after Edward Sr. joins us, we head in to town for Southampton's Fourth of July parade. The streets and sidewalks are loud, cheery and packed with people. Alistair and Irina walk between their parents, holding their hands, and I trail behind them, taking it all in. Even though I used to come to the Hamptons with the Whitakers, I've never been here for the parade.

As we stroll along, it hits me that is the most normal thing I have seen this family do, other than Sunday dinners. I'm starting to realize that Mr. Mason's worst folly is his excessive absence; when he's actually around he's quite affectionate, ruffling the children's hair, hugging them close. Perhaps it's why they're as well adjusted as they are –that, and the relationships they have with their older brother and sister. Because if it was just up to Tanya alone, things would be a very sad state of affairs.

Afterward, we end up at B. Smith's, an upscale restaurant in Sag Harbor. Edward and Tanya are members of the nearby yacht club, which is where we'll stay to watch the fireworks, set to go off a little after nightfall.

We're halfway through lunch when Tanya suggests I take a little time to myself, to walk around Sag Harbor a bit when I'm done eating. I jump at the chance.

"Can I come?" Irina pleads, watching me swallow the last of my chowder.

"I think your parents would like to hang out with you," I say, giving her hand a quick squeeze.

"She'll be back for the fireworks," Mr. Masen says.

"Right. I'll be back even before then. You have my cell," I say to her. Because, of course, she's got her own phone. She pouts a little, but lets me go.

It feels good to set out on my own. I've been with the children for two and a half days straight, which is normal, but it feels different when there's not a city at our fingertips for us to go get lost in. Here, we have the beach, pool and house. It's relaxing and lovely, but that's about it.

I text Alice as I walk around the little shops and restaurants lining Sag Harbor's streets.

_Having fun?_

She texts back after a moment._ So much fun. Where are you? Did you come out?_

_Yeah. In Sag Harbor for food and fireworks._

_Yawn._

I laugh quietly, shaking my head. _It's not so bad. I'm walking around on my own a bit._

_See if you can escape late on, tonight. my dad's there, right?_

_Yeah_

_so he and tanya will probably stay in_

_i'll see_

_ok. happy 4__th__!_

Her last text is punctuated with smiley faces and firework symbols.

There's an unexpected pit of longing in my chest. For the first time in awhile, I feel almost as if I'm missing out on something, a feeling that's lain dormant in me for a couple of years now. Usually I'm so focused on school, or my job, or both...but suddenly my age catches up with me and I realize I'm yearning to let loose a bit. Nothing crazy, just... Alice is with her boy; they're having a great time. I bet Edward's doing the same, and I don't even want to imagine who he might be with right now. This is why I didn't want to get involved with him; we haven't even hooked up and yet I've already managed to catch feelings. I hate that I care.

Either way, though, he's probably kicking back with his friends, without a care in the world.

Sighing, I call my mom back in Phoenix. If there's anyone who can distract me, it's her.

* * *

The fireworks are amazing.

It's fun watching them with Irina and Alistair, whose wide eyed wonder is a joy to watch. I feel it too: the magic of such a light show. It never gets old; I never outgrow it. Alistair leans closes, poking me.

"Imagine if we could watch through my telescope," he says.

"That would be so, so cool," I agree, nodding.

On the way home, my phone lights up with another text from Alice.

_You coming out?_

I bite my lip, not really wanting to ask the Masens. After all, this is their special time together, and the only reason I am even here is to cater to them by watching the twins. Beside me, Alistair is already dozing and Irina is close to it. We've had another long day, and I'm glad that their parents were a part of it.

Back at the house, I get the kids to bed, helping them use the bathroom and brush their teeth. I've just clicked the lights off when Tanya appears in the hallway, still in her clothes from earlier.

"We're turning in now. Is everything all right?"

"Yes; the children are asleep."

She nods. "Well, good night."

I almost let her go, but the urge to join up with Alice and Jasper is overwhelming. "Tanya?"

She turns, eyebrow arched in question.

"A friend of mine invited me to a get together nearby. Would it be all right if I stepped out for awhile?"

She frowns. "Of course you can. The nights are yours; you know that."

"Back in the city, yeah, but I didn't want to assume."

"It's fine," she says, waving me off as she walks away.

I'm not sure what I was expecting, but that went well. A tiny thrill burns through me, and I quickly text Alice.

_I can come._

_Excellent. You're at Gin Lane, right?_

I'm surprised she knows but then I remember that she and Edward probably spent time here as teenagers, after the divorce.

_Right._

_Be there in twenty._

I feel gross after walking around all day, so shower quickly, and change in to sandals and a little dress I bought for the beach. I grab my bag and wait outside, not wanting to make too much noise.

Jasper and Alice pull up in an SUV after awhile. I climb in to the back, shivery from the air conditioning and cool leather.

"Heeeey, Bella," Alice says, reaching her hand back to touch me.

"Hey, guys."

Jasper grins at me in the rear view mirror, backing out on to the road. "How long you here til?"

"We driving back on Friday, I think."

"Yeah, she usually stays for the week," Alice says. "But my Dad'll probably be gone by tomorrow."

I shrug, not sure if that's the case or not. "So...where are we going?"

"Friends of ours are having their own fireworks, out by the pool," says Alice. "Good thing you called when you did...I think Victoria said they were doing them soon."

"Oh, Victoria's family has a place here, too?" I ask.

"I forgot you met her," Alice muses, before turning to look at me. "But anyway, yeah, they do. They're not here, though, just Vic and James."

That name sounds familiar... "Who's James?"

"Vic's boyfriend."

Before long we pull in to a driveway crowded with cars. I follow Alice and Jasper up through the house and to the back patio, where there are about fifty or sixty people our age, milling around or strewn on outdoor couches and lounges. The scent of weed and cigarettes tickles my nose; I hope I don't smell like it when I get home.

"Do you want a drink?" asks Jasper, nodding to one of the outdoor bars.

"I'm okay."

He nods, walking away, but Alice grasps my arm and we sit on one of the couches. Immediately several girls flock over, some of whom I've met. I'm introduced and then they're all talking and smoking and laughing. I smile, trying to keep up, but then across the patio I see the one person I just...God, I knew I'd see him. I'd felt it. He didn't say where he'd be this week, but I just knew.

He's smoking a cigarette, surrounded by friends, sitting on the curlicued rail surrounding the patio, feet propped up on the lower rungs. A brunette with waist length hair and a tiny dress is wedged between his legs, talking to him as he talks to his friends; she looks determined, he looks disinterested, but I'm sure they'll figure out a way to meet in the middle.

It makes my stomach hurt, so I look away, back to where Alice is giggling about something someone said, and Victoria is shoving someone away so she can sit beside me.

"Hey, Bella!" she cries, drunk and happy. "I'm so glad you came! Alice said you'd try."

I nod, smiling. "I got a little time off."

"Good! Good. You deserve it." She tilts her head. "What're you drinking?"

"Nothing, I—"

"Oh, no. I'll be right back."

She's gone as suddenly as she appeared, probably off to fetch a drink I won't touch.

A loud POP! startles the crowd, and then everyone is cheering frantically at the light show in the sky, my second one of the evening. I'm not sure where the fireworks are being shot from, but they're just as beautiful as before.

I feel a cold glass being pressed in to my hand, and then Victoria's sitting beside me again, clapping and yelling along with her friends. Despite the fact I know barely anyone, I'm glad I came out tonight. It feels good to just...celebrate.

My eyes slide back over to where I saw Edward.

He's watching me now, a half smile on his face.

* * *

_***Passion Pit -Moth's Wings**_

_**screaming babies eat up writing time.**_


	45. Exploit

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**storyline: Appease**_

_**prompt -exploit**_

_**NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

A particularly close firework goes off right over our heads. People scream; first in fright, and then in wild delight, clapping as embers rain down in technicolor. Shaken, I look around, wondering again where these are being shot from, and if the person doing the shooting knows what they're doing.

I look back at Edward, who holds up his phone. He taps it, and I shake my head. It would be impossible to hear right now.

But he taps it again, so I open my purse and glance in to my bag, which is glowing from my phone, the face of which is lit from a text.

_You're here_

is all it says.

I give him a look and put the phone away again, not seeing the point of this cutesy conversation that we can't even have in person, face to face.

He grins and taps his phone again, and sighing, I oblige him.

_Come here_

Now I do respond: _you must have me confused with someone else._

_Maybe. The Bella I know wouldn't be out this late at night._

I roll my eyes as his teasing. _The edward I know would know better than to summon me like a puppy._

I watch him read the latest text. He looks up at me, then types something.

My phone vibrates. I look at it. _I'm sorry. Please, Bella, come join me._

_I came with Alice, and you with your exploit of the day. It would be rude to abandon them. _With that, I put my phone back in to my bag and return my attention to the fireworks. If he's trying to message me again –and he probably is –I can't hear it or see it.

With a dazzling finale, the fireworks end. More applause and cheers. Several people throw themselves in to the pool.

I put my untouched drink aside and peek over to the railing. The brunette's still there, but Edward's gone.

Victoria's still by my side, but she's chatting someone up, and when I look, it's the same blue eyed blond I'd seen with Edward at the park. James. His eyes flicker to me, away and then back. He stands straight, grinning and snapping his fingers.

"The nanny!" he cries.

"Bella," Victoria corrects, poking him in annoyance. "Really, James."

"Yeah, Bella. Crazy seeing you here...does Edward know?"

I blink slowly, the implication of what he's saying settling over me. Does Edward talk about me? What does he say?

Another cold drink is thrust in front of me. I take it and glance back to see who it is. Edward smiles down at me, hands already back in his pockets.

"Sprite," he says, nodding toward the glass.

"Thanks," I say, giving the glass a small sniff.

"You don't trust me?" he asks, his voice abruptly closer.

"I trust you," I say. "With my beverages."

He disappears again and then pops up in front of me, hand extended. "Come on."

"Ugh, Edward," groans Alice. "Can you just...turn it off? For like five minutes?"

"I don't know, can I?" he shoots back, frowning at her. His eyes slide back to me. He frowns some more. "No?"

Sighing, I accept his hand. It's warmer than I expected.

"You don't have to go, Bella," Alice says.

Irritation bolts unexpectedly through me, and I shake my head as I stand up."It's fine, Alice."

Edward adjusts our hands so that our fingers are interlocked, and then he jostles his way through the crowd, leading back toward the house. James gives a passing thumbs up, leering like the lech he is, and across the patio, the abandoned brunette shoots daggers our way.

It's all so typical, so predictable. I roll my eyes as Edward steps inside, pulling me close behind him.

"You love this."

We're in a darkened living room. He props me up against the wall and stands just apart from me. "Love what?"

"This whole scene."

"Maybe."

"Hm." I look away, toward the glass doors.

"Do you not love it?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because it's fake."

"Then why'd you come?" he asks, amused.

"Because I was bored. And because Alice invited me."

"And because part of you hoped I'd be here."

I fold my arms, careful to keep neutral, and say nothing.

"Right?" he presses after a moment.

"You didn't tell me where you were going, Edward. I didn't know where you'd gone."

"Bella." He's not convinced. And why would he be? It sounds like bull even to me.

I keep my eyes on the scene outside...flirting, drinking, dancing, swimming...

A light tug on my hair; he's running his fingers through it. I turn my attention to him, but his eyes are on his hands, watching them navigate my hair.

But then he makes eye contact. "Look me in the eye and tell me you don't want this."

"I don't want this."

"Tell me you don't want _me_."

I avert my gaze, but he gently grasps my chin and makes me look. My blood is lava-like, and my face, so warm. The tension between us is unbearable; it almost hurts.

"You just want to win," I whisper.

He blinks. "There's nothing wrong with winning."

"This is not a game."

"I never said it was, Bella. You're the one who keeps insisting that I think that, but I don't," he says, urgency making his voice shake.

"Look me in the eye and tell me you won't drop me the second you get some," I say, twisting what he said before, heart pounding so viciously it's hard to get the words out.

"I won't," he says, coming closer. "I won't."

I close my eyes. "Edward...you were all set. If I hadn't come tonight you'd probably be with that girl...you'd be..."

"What do you want?" he says, frustrated. "We're not..together. You won't give me an answer, you won't give me a chance...am I supposed to just wait and hope?"

"I don't know!" I cry, pushing him away. "Is it really that hard? Do you have to dip your wick into every cute girl you see? It's... I hate it. I hate thinking about you...that way."

"I don't even...she's just a girl!"

"They're all just girls!"

"I didn't kiss her! I didn't even like her."

"Like that matters," I scoff, trembling.

"What do you want?" he repeats, very nearly sneering. "You want to change me?"

"I don't want to do anything. You...you do what you want." I start to move, but he's right in front of me again.

"Bella..."

"Stop it," I plead, feeling the tears coming and despising them. "We're too different, okay?"

"It doesn't matter."

"It does."

"You're full of it," he says, staring down at me. "Your mouth says one thing, but the rest of you says something else completely. Why can't you just admit that you like me? Am I that awful?"

"I do like you. And you're not awful, but you can't give me what I need."

"Oh, I think I can."

"I wasn't talking about sex."

"Neither was I." He's staring at mouth, which makes me look at his.

I'd say I want to leave, but that would be such a lie. Because there isn't anywhere I'd rather be than right here, with him so close I feel his body heat. It's classic chemistry, and the way he affects me is hypnotizingly heady. He cups my cheek; his fingertips are rougher than I'd expect.

When he kisses me, I barely taste the cigarettes and alcohol. I taste him, and it makes this strange sense, like something clicking in to place somewhere deep within. Like I knew he'd taste like this. His tongue, warm, wet, searches my mouth and I respond in kind, searching back, because I want it, and while my mouth can tell lies with its words it can't tell lies with its kisses.

He presses soft against me, his hands leaving my face and sliding around my waist. When I don't reciprocate he wraps my arms around his body, stopping just long enough to whisper, "hold me", and then he's kissing me again, fervently and fast.

I can't keep up; he moves his lips to my chin and throat, dampening the skin and giving it goosebumps. Exhaling in a rush, I hold his head, trying not to go completely slack. Dizzy, breathless, and a little out of control.

He comes back to my mouth and kisses me over and over, making me lose track of time and self until I pull him gently away by his hair and whisper, "stop."

And he does, immediately. He looks surprised, but like it's because I let him kiss me, not because I stopped him.

Looking in to his eyes...this..._this_ is what I was afraid of. This bottomless ache of wanting, wanting, wanting.

Not just his; mine.

* * *

_**part one of two. i'm trying to play catch up, here (this was yesterday's prompt). next chapter up in a couple of hours.**_

_***Washed Out - Feel It All Around **_


	46. Saturate

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**Story - Appease**_

_**Prompts - saturate, lacerate, exaggerate**_

_**NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

Voices drift down the stairs, giggles and hushed conversation.

Edward takes a step back, running his hand through his hair. "What do you want?" he asks once more, quietly this time. Patiently. None of the aggression those very same words carried a couple of minutes ago.

Two girls pass by on their way back outside, heads inclined as they share secrets.

"I don't know." I shake my head slowly. "I want...not to get hurt."

"I won't –"

"You say you won't, and I, I might even be able to believe that _you_ believe that. But people don't just change overnight and you know what? Maybe you're right; maybe it's unfair for me to want you to change. That never works anyway. And it's –"

Smiling, he drifts closer again. "Do you always ramble when you're nervous?"

I lower my eyes. "Probably."

"You're shaking." The light moment is gone, and he now sounds concerned. He grabs both of my hands and holds them against his chest, like he's warming them. "Are you that afraid of me?"

"I think I'm afraid of _us_," I say, swallowing.

His face falls, and he drops my hands. "Do you want me to just bring you home?"

He looks so bummed out, and already I can see that I'm going to have a hard time saying no to him. Not because he's a spoiled brat who usually gets his way, though he is, but because I genuinely care for him. And while he might have a ways to go, I think he might care for me, too. So I say, "Not just yet. I don't mind hanging out a little more...and anyway, I think Alice and Jasper can drive me."

"I'll take you."

"I don't want you to leave your friends..."

"Can you just let me take care of you? Tonight, at least?"

I take a deep breath and let it out slowly, letting myself be calm. "Okay."

He smiles ruefully and takes my hand.

* * *

Alice seems resigned to whatever it is she thinks is going on between her brother and me. I get a few curious stares from other people, but I think that's more due to the fact I'm an unfamiliar face. I doubt there's anything fresh and new about seeing Edward with a new girl.

Edward keeps in contact with me until we leave: an arm around my shoulder, our thighs pressed together as we sit, fingers tangled on his lap. I find it's a relief to have this freedom, to not have to pretend. I don't have to work so hard to deceive myself and everyone else. And thank God, because nobody was fooled. Not Alice, not Edward, not me.

When the clock starts to creep toward one, I decide to call it a night. I say goodbye to the few people that would care I'm leaving –Alice, Jasper, Victoria and even James –and then walk slowly to the driveway, Edward's jacket draped loosely over my shoulders.

"Edward!"

Our quiet chitchat is interrupted by Alice, who must have followed us out. Something passes between the two of them, because Edward hands me the keys. "Go ahead and start the car. I'll be right there."

"All right." I give Alice a shy smile, and she strokes my arm just once, affectionately, before turning to her brother.

A cool breeze blows right off the ocean, chilling me and making me glad for Edward's borrowed jacket. I hurry to the car and get in, turning the heat on low, and then directing it at my feet. I get cold easily, and tonight is no exception.

Edward slides inside a moment later.

"What was that all about?" I ask, flattening the wrinkles from my skirt.

"She...loves you," he says haltingly, the grit in his voice commanding my attention. "She begged me to stop."

"Stop...this?"

"Yes."

"Oh." I turn to the window, looking back at the house as it disappears behind us.

"You must really have made an impression on her," he says, glancing over at me. The moon shines in, giving his face an angelic glow. "I guess...I can't say I'm surprised. You've certainly made one on me."

I don't know what to say to that, so I say nothing.

"She said if I break your heart, she'll lacerate my face."

"Oh my God." I laugh somewhat incredulously, unable to keep my eyes off of him for long. "Exaggerate much?"

"I'm not." He chuckles dryly. "She's crazy-protective over the people she cares about. Normally I fall in to that group, but...you...have this thing. This need to be protected."

"So you say." I frown in the darkness. "Remember a while back, when you made me promise to call you if I needed anything?"

"Of course."

"How is it that you're both my protector and the very thing I need protection from?"

"Good question."

"I'm being serious."

"See, I know my intentions toward you, and they're nowhere near as coldhearted and nefarious as you and Alice make them out to be. I'm just a guy who likes a girl."

"Is that right?"

"It is."

"Even if I was willing to take a chance, there's still my job. I just don't see how it could work, knowing Tanya would flip her lid if she found out."

"So we keep it on the DL..."

"A secret relationship. What every girl dreams of ," I say, rolling my eyes.

"Just until school starts up again," he says, totally serious. "You're not going to continue working there, are you?"

"Well, I don't know yet. I wanted to try...see if we could arrange something. I mean, the kids'll be in school at the same time I am if I arrange my schedule properly."

"Oh, okay," he says, nodding. "Like part time?"

"Kind of. If Tanya's game, anyway."

Our drive comes to an end. Edward pulls up right outside the driveway and cuts the lights. "So...where does that leave us?"

Shrugging, I shake my head. "I don't know."

We look at one another in the almost-light. He's beautiful.

And so he kisses me lightly. When I don't move away, he does it again, a little longer, a lot deeper. It makes me all tense inside, makes me feel things I'm used to taking care of myself.

"I'm worth your time," he says, "and you're worth mine."

His words bury themselves in to my psyche, where I know they'll probably take seed. Sprout. Bloom.

I take his jacket off and lay it across his lap, kissing his cheek. "Thank you..."

He grabs my hand. "I'll talk to you soon. Tomorrow, maybe."

"Yes," I agree, giving him another little kiss before forcing myself out.

I'm inside before he finally drives away, tummy fluttering and hands still shaking.

* * *

As Alice predicted, Mr. Masen heads out the next day. He's gone by late morning.

Tanya joins the twins and I for breakfast. She's in a pleasant mood, for a change.

"I'm going to be spending the day with friends in East Hampton," she announces, watching as Irina and Alistair saturate their pancakes in maple syrup. "I should be home by dinnertime."

"Sure," I say, smiling pleasantly.

"Will you be going out again?" she asks.

"Tonight?" I drag a strip of bacon through my syrup. "I don't have plans to, no. I think we might bring the telescope out by the pool and do a little stargazing, though."

"That sounds nice," she says, checking her phone.

She leaves soon after, kissing the children's heads on her way out the door.

A little later on, Alistair, Irina and I are on the beach behind our house. I text Alice to let her know where we are, and that Tanya's gone, and she messages back, saying they'll come surprise the twins. They do, and Edward "tags along"...it's such fun watching the glee on the children's faces when they realize their siblings are there. Although it's apparent by Edward's gaze that he'd probably like to get me alone, he keeps it PG, roughhousing with Alistair and helping Irina build a sandcastle.

That is, until I go inside to get refreshments for everyone.

There's a note on the counter, written in Carmen's swooping scrawl, letting me know she and Sue went grocery shopping for tonight's dinner. I put it aside and open the fridge, wondering if I should grab sodas or juice boxes for the kids.

"Can I kiss you?" Edward asks, startling the crap out of me as I straighten up.

"Don't sneak up on me like that!" I cry, spinning around.

"Sorry," he says, contrite. "But...can I?"

I nod, and he stalks across the kitchen, making my heartbeat pick up with every step closer. He holds my face in his hands, like I'm this precious thing, and he kisses me so thoroughly. Soon he's pinning me against the counter and I'm clutching his hair, cherishing its softness between my fingers.

It feels warm and good, like stretching sore muscles and breathing deeply. Like laying in the sun and listening to the rain. It's hard to fight against something that feels physically so right, like his mouth was made for kissing my mouth.

_This is Bella, giving up, giving in._

* * *

**_*With Rainy Eyes - Emancipator_**


	47. Vivid

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**Story - Appease**_

_**Prompt - vivid**_

_**NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

The stars at night are so clear and vivid here, diamond-like and sharp.

I sit on the patio between Alistair and Irina as they take turns with the telescope. A cup of hot cocoa warms my hands. It's summertime, so it's not cold, but the breeze still cuts through the fabric of my cardigan.

It's been hours since Edward, Alice and Jasper left. They stayed until nearly sundown. I wished things were different, that we could have grilled out on the patio or something, but with Tanya coming home any minute, it just wasn't plausible. It sucks for them to have to sneak visits with the kids (and me) this way, but for now, it's all we have.

"I wish we had marshmallows," says Irina, looking longingly at her empty mug.

"I know...we should've thought of that, huh?" I tighten her sweater, closing the gap in front where her buttons are unfastened.

"Maybe tomorrow?" she says.

"Maybe. If we have time."

I think we both know we won't, though. Tanya came home in a good mood, but then announced over dinner that we'd be leaving Southampton a day early. I don't ask questions; I just work with what I'm given.

So we're out here, making the most of our last night.

"Maybe Dad'll bring us back," Alistair says. "Before school starts." His words put an ache in my chest; I want so badly for these kids to know that they are loved. There is no greater gift their parents could give them.

I don't have kids... I only take care of other people's so maybe I _don't _know what it's really like. Maybe my constant inner judging is just pointless, and lacks compassion.

But how can that be the case when I look at the twins and how they shut down when Tanya leaves? How they light up when their Dad touches them? It's just so obvious, and yet...this happens all the time. It's easy to see the affection Edward and Alice share with Esme, but was this what life was like when they visited their father, after the divorce? Was he around?

Maybe Alice's resentment is only partly because her father cheated. Maybe she felt ignored, as well.

"Bella?" Irina's voice brings me back from my musings. "Can we go inside now?"

I glance down at Alistair. "You ready? Or did you want to stay a little longer?"

"I'm ready," he says with a nod. I help him pack up the telescope and then we bring it inside.

Once the kids are in bed, I retreat to my own room, doing a little last minute packing. I'm ambivalent about leaving. On one hand, it'll feel good to get back to the city. It's almost a part of me now, and I do well in it. But on the other, I'll miss the simplicity and fresh air of the _this_ life. It's been a nice reprieve, and a needed one.

Under the covers, I grab my phone and find "O&O".

_had fun today. Glad you guys came._

His response comes a couple of minutes later. _Me too._

Another moment passes, and then he texts again: _what are you up to tomorrow?_

_Heading back to the city_

_thought you had 1 more day?_

_T. changed her mind_

_sucks. I'll be back saturday_

To my surprise, and slight dismay, I find that disappointing. Biting my lip, I write _where have you been staying?_

_With victoria and james. _

_How perfect. I bet the party never ends._

_You'd be surprised._

I frown at that, not knowing what to make of it. My stomach feels bubbly, anxious-like. The last time I felt this way was been junior year, when Paul Lahote, my senior crush, asked me to prom. All excitement and nerves, fear of the unknown.

_I'll be good, _he texts.

I smile, in spite of myself. _Thats good to hear_

_I mean it. I want to try with you._

My heart thumps heavily. He wants to reassure me, and I appreciate that. I just ...have to keep a clear head and not freak out over every little thing. That's not who I am. Never have been. It's one thing to occupy the same sky as Edward, quite another to orbit around him like he's the sun. I can't lose myself that way.

And I know it would be easy to. He's intriguing.

Taking a deep breath, I say what's been floating around my mind all day, since earlier when we were playing on the beach. _I want to try too._

* * *

The next morning, the sun shines down in earnest, as if begging us not to go.

But we pack up the car and leave anyway; Alistair engrossed in a game on his PSP, Irina with her nose in a book. I get out my Kindle, too, but my mind is elsewhere, back at the beach. Kisses with boys in dim rooms at parties.

By the time we make it back to Manhattan, the sky has clouded over. It's petty, I know, but I hope that the weather in back in the Hamptons is overcast, too. That way I'd feel like I was missing out less.

Regardless, it feels good to be back. Mrs. Cope has lunch prepared, and we eat together before Tanya goes to take a nap.

"Do you guys want ice cream or something?" I ask, feeling restless. "We could go for a walk. Or a bike ride."

"I'd rather ride," Alistair says, pushing his plate away.

"Me too," agrees Irina. They're sun-kissed from their time at the beach, blond hair glowing effulgently against rosy, newly freckled cheeks.

She turns toward me as we ride down the elevator. "Are you still in school?"

"College," I say. "At NYU."

"So will you go back when we go back?"

I nod. "I'm still trying to figure out my schedule, though. I'd kinda like it if I could keep on hanging out with you guys, as well."

Alistair stiffens slightly, but Irina just grins. "That would be so cool. You could pick us up from school..."

"It'll never happen," huffs Alistair. "It's always someone different."

"It _will_ happen, if I have any say in it," I say. I loathe that he's this cynical, and at such a young age. "It just depends on your mom., and whatever works best."

He seems unconvinced, but then again, he's been let down before. I so don't want to be the next in line.

Saturday morning, there's a knock at my bedroom door.

Yawning sleepily, I make my way over to it. Mrs. Cope stands there with a little box, pink this time.

She purses her lips and hands it over. "Good morning, dear."

"Morning, Mrs. Cope."I close the door and settle back into bed, opening the box.

I'm ready for the note above the seashell shaped chocolates this time. The sweet are from Godiva, but the message is from Edward.

_Lunch today?_

I text hm to reply. _Thx for the chocolate..._

_anytime. Did you get my note?_

_yes, but i have the twins_

_I know. Bring them_

_ok. where?_

He gives me the address of a nearby food kiosk in the park, and we agree to meet around one.

"So how was it?" I ask. We're sitting on the grass, watching the twins navigate one of Central Park's many playgrounds. The remains of their lunch lies scattered on the blanket next to me.

"What?"

"The rest of your stay."

"Fine." He shrugs, wiping his hands on napkins. "Low key."

I watch him for a moment. "James doesn't seem like the low key type."

"He's not, and neither is Vic...I ended up going to Jasper's with Alice."

"Why?"

He shrugs again. "Didn't feel like partying every night."

"Getting old," I teased, crumpling my sandwich wrapper.

"Ha, not exactly." He pokes me with his sneaker. "What about you? You miss me?"

Smirking, I stretch out my legs and lean back on my elbows. "Why, did you miss me?"

"I asked first," he says.

"A little."

"A little," he echoes, nodding.

He maneuvers so that we're side by side, his arms by mine, close enough that I can feel the fine hairs tickling my skin. I try to keep my eyes on the children, but then Edward starts doing things: blowing in my ear, nuzzling my cheek, and I can't keep a straight face.

"Would you stop?" I laugh breathlessly.

"You're the girl next door. Peaches and cream perfection."

"I think you're obsessed with my normalness. It's like...a novelty for you."

"Maybe...but it's not only that, Bella Poppins."

I roll my eyes at the name, earning an elbow in my side. "Let me guess. It's my plucky temperament and my charming wit!"

"And the fact you can kiss. That's important."

"Mm. Yes, it is."

"So, do you like when I kiss you?"

"Yes," I whisper, willing myself not to blush.

"That's a start," he says, his voice low and close.

I nod, wondering when, where and how today's round of flirtation will culminate.

* * *

_**sorry so late. baby stuff, busy day!**_

_**xo**_


	48. Zoo

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**Story - Appease**_

_**Prompt - zoo**_

_**NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

We keep the coquetry to a minimum. We have to.

Somewhat subtle in public, confined to the daylight hours, and night time texts.

This city is vast and populated by millions...it's easy to be invisible, but also easy to be seen. Sometimes it's surprising what a small world it truly is, especially when you run in certain circles.

Alice is taking a couple of classes a week now, at SVA. She's something of an artistic jack of all trades, dabbling in sketching and illustration, photography, film and even a little bit of fashion design. She says she's interested in advertising, but that changes from week to week. Edward says she's been this way since childhood, trifling with everything from ballet to horseback riding.

It must be nice to have the means with which to "find oneself", but it's also nice to have a firm grasp on the things one loves. Me? I want to major in child psychology with a possible minor in education. I want to work with children. I'll probably be in school for a while because of this, but between grants, scholarships and loans, I'm pretty much covered. Also, my father refinanced his house so that I could go to NYU. I found that out about halfway through freshman year, and while it kind of bummed me out, he assured me that it was what he wanted to do, more than anything. So I do my best to make him proud. Him and Renee, both.

Anyway, Alice's classes mean she's not as available to hang out as she once was. She still comes around, though, even to the apartment. Tanya's not always there, anyway, and if she is, she's cordial enough to Alice. I don't think she minds Alice as much as Edward, and it's obvious why. There's the Lusty Proposition of Years Past, of course, but also...Edward Jr is set to take over for Edward Sr one day. The whole father passing the torch to his son sort of deal. I think Tanya feels almost...threatened by that.

Alice finishes painting our toenails and blows on them before capping the bottle.

"They look awesome," Irina coos, wiggling her newly pinked and polka dotted toes.

"Yeah, they do," I say. It's been awhile since my toes looked this cute.

"Are we still going to the zoo?" Alistair asks, squeezing as much boredom and nonchalance in to his tone as possible. In his khakis and Ralph Lauren polo, he looks the way I'd imagine Edward did as a kid.

"Yes, we are," I assure him. "It's only eleven."

"It's gonna be hot," he says. "And crowded."

"You sound like an old man, all worrisome and crotchety," chides Alice, shaking her head. "Chillax, dude."

Irina giggles at Alice's vernacular, and even Alistair cracks a smile.

"Is Edward coming?" Alistair asks.

Alice's eyes flicker to me before settling on her younger brother. "I don't think so. He's in a meeting with Daddy."

"Daddy?" he frowns. "Why?"

"They're discussing the classes Edward needs to take next year in order to be on track for internships and all that..."

"What's an internship?" Irina asks, walking funny, toes spread to avoid smudging.

"Like...when you work at a place so that they can train you to be a real employee there. You don't really get paid that well, and in some places, not at all." Alice snorts, glancing back at me. "But I'm sure Edward will be paid handsomely for his time and trouble."

"Is he returning to Dartmouth for grad school?" I surprise myself by asking. My budding relationship with Edward is often the elephant in the room. She's holding her breath, waiting for him to mess up, hoping to God he won't. I understand. I'm doing the same thing.

It makes me feel bad, because Edward's really trying.

"He didn't tell you?" Alice asks, frowning.

My heart drops. "No...what?"

"He's coming back to the city, to go to grad school here. Columbia Business."

Relief; it's like pulling my hands from the snow and submerging them in hot water. It prickles through my body, warming me from the inside out. Edward and I don't much discuss our future, probably because we're so intent on each day as it comes. The last time grad school came up, he'd mentioned the possibility of putting it off a semester, and he hadn't yet decided where he wanted to go for sure.

Nodding, I give her a small smile. "That's good. He'll be close to everyone, then."

She sighs, smiling back. "Yeah. It'll be good."

* * *

As Alistair predicted, the Bronx Zoo is..well...a zoo. As in, crowded and busy and hectic. But it's so much fun. Initially I'd thought about just bringing them to the Central Park Zoo, but then decided that a change of scenery was healthy. And besides, the Bronx Zoo is way bigger.

My phone vibrates as we look at the snow leopards.

_How's the zoo?_

_Amazing. How was your meeting with your dad?_

_Alice told you_

_yes_

_it was ok. The usual_

_I don't know what the usual is_

_nothing special_

He always glosses over anything having to do with his father. I make a mental note to ask more later. If we're going to begin to build a foundation of any sort, whether we're platonic or romantic, we need at least a modicum of disclosure.

Edward is so used to charming his way through life that it's left little need for anything more than surface stuff. I know he's close to his mother and Alice, and that he confides in them, and I know he greatly respects and even loves his stepfather, Carlisle, but other than that, I suspect he keeps a lot bottled up. His friends? Even the nice ones come off as so shallow. And I'm not even sure they actually _are; _it's just par for the course for their group.

Alistair taps on my arm. "Are you done yet? They're not even there anymore."

I blink at the enclosure, realizing the snow leopards disappeared while I was off in la la land. Sheepishly, I nod. "Yeah. Lead the way."

_wish I could be there_

His text makes me ache. He's got a little boy heart, and he might think I need protecting, but sometimes I feel like he needs it more.

_Me too. Maybe tomorrow? There's so much here and no time. Irina wanted to go to the Butterfly Garden_

_lol of course she did_

I smile, looking up at Irina. She's the ultimate girlie girl, with bright blue ribbons in her hair and glittery jellies on her feet. _Yeah. So tomorrow?_

_Maybe_

_ok_

_bye_

_bye_

* * *

"I thought I'd be seeing you tomorrow," I say. It's hard –no—impossible not to smile when Edward looks this pleased with himself. "You said 'maybe'."

"Yeah, maybe tomorrow...definitely tonight."

"Sneaky," I say.

"We haven't kicked it in a couple days," he says.

It's true. He's been busy, and so have I. The twins recently went through their dentist appointments and yearly physicals.

We're in his car, going to a late movie at the Sun Shine Cinema.

He'd messaged me after nine, knowing I was unofficially "off the clock", asking if I wanted to meet. I wrote a message for Tanya, letting her know I was stepping out in case she or the twins awoke, and then quietly left.

Felix, the night time doorman, had tipped his hat at me on my way out, and I wondered how many things he'd seen. The doormen of Manhattan probably had great stories, tales of secret love, relationship drama and God knows what else.

"I know," I say. "And it's only going to get busier, when summer ends."

He nods, making a turn.

"I hear you're going to be at Columbia this fall."

"Does Alice keep her mouth shut about anything?"

"I didn't realize it was a secret," I murmur, looking out the window.

He rests his hand on my thigh. "It's not. I just...I like to tell you things, too."

"I wish you'd tell me more..."

"I would, if frigging Alice didn't always beat me to it."

I pat his hand, and he immediately flips it so that it can hold mine. "Don't be jealous," I tease.

"I don't know; apparently Alice is pretty cute."

I laugh quietly, shaking my head. His phone makes a a funny sound, and he pulls it out, frowning at the screen.

"No texting while driving," I say, grabbing it away.

"I'm not," he says, trying to take it back.

I don't even really mean to, but I see the words before the screen goes dark: _Call me._

Rolling my eyes, I toss the phone on to his lap.

"Bella...come on. I can't control who texts me."

"Like hell."

"Are you actually mad right now?"

"I'm annoyed, yes."

"I'd say I liked your possessive side but something tells me it doesn't mean the same thing to you as it does to me..."

"Ugh. Is every thing a game to you?"

"Is everything life and death to you?" he shoots back. "Her name is Leah. We had a thing. It's over, and she still likes me, okay? I can't un-do what I did."

"I know that."

"So if we're going to do this you have to stop punishing me."

"I'm not punishing you. I'm just making sure you know I don't play around."

"I get that."

"Don't you ever feel bad? For all the girls you...hooked up with?"

"No. They knew what was up."

"Which was?"

He levels me with a glare, somewhat surprising on his normally smirky, easy going face. "Don't feel bad for them, Bella. That's bullshit. They wanted something, I wanted something, and that was that. I never lied."

"And what about me?"

"You're different."

"How so?"

"You speak differently, you act differently, you think differently. And you have expectations of me that, for whatever reason, I find myself eager to meet."

"You want me to approve of you," I say.

"In a matter of speaking. But more than that. I want you to _like_ me."

"I do like you."

"I know you do. I like you, too."

And just like that, the tension dissipates. I give his leg a little pinch, which is hard to do through denim.

"Ouch," he chuckles, grabbing my fingers. "Stop. There'll be plenty of time for that later."

I give him a look, which only makes him laugh harder. "You wish. You're just the type to be in to kinky stuff like that, all Eyes Wide Shut..."

"Yeah? You in to that, too?"

"No," I laugh.

"No, I bet you like it slow and sweet."

"Oh, is that right?"

We're at the cinema. He parks the car, and puts an arm around me as we go inside.

"What do you like?" he asks, kissing my ear. "They have s'mores..."

"We should bring the kids here," I muse, shivering away from his mouth. "They wanted to roast marshmallows back at the beach..."

"I love that you think about them," he says, and when I look up at him, I see he means it. "But tonight, just...be here with me. It's okay to take a break sometimes."

"Yeah." I exhale, nodding. "You're right. It's just hard to switch it off."

He kisses my cheek, eyes sparkling. He's so cute when he wants to be. It's not hard to understand his mass appeal. "So. Popcorn?"

"Yeah...and candy."

"What kind?"

"Do they have Mike n Ike's?"

"Where your boyfriend at? Is he getting' you refreshments? Is he tall? Is he gettin' you Mike n Ikes? Oh, you like Mike n Ikes?"

I immediately start cracking up, shocked beyond reason. "Did you really just quote Darrell!"

He winks and pulls me toward the concessions counter. I can't stop giggling at his silliness, which only makes him whisper more. There are no Mike n Ike's, but there's just about everything else. Edward gets popcorn and soda for us to share, and I grab a couple of fancy schmancy candy bars for Alistair and Irina as well as some for myself.

The theater is almost empty when we sit down, not surprising for a weekday.

"Thanks," I say, settling in to my seat. "For bringing me here. It's nice."

"It's nice you let me take you out," he counters, resting his arm along the back of my chair. "So...thank _you_."

"Always with the smooth lines," I tease.

"So, uh, listen..."

I look expectantly at him.

"Can I have yo numba?"

* * *

_***Float On - Modest Mouse**_

_**-"O&O" - "(the) One & Only"**_

_**-School of Visual Arts (Fine Arts & Graphic Design School)**_

_**-and lastly, if you don't know Darrell and mad tv's Can I Get Yo Numba Skit, then i don't know what to tell you.**_


	49. Flaunt

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**Story - Appease**_

_**Prompt - flaunt**_

_**NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

After the movie, most of which we actually watch, Edward and I stroll back out to his car.

We're sitting in his car, still parked near the theater, when he asks, "Do you want to come over?"

I sip thoughtfully on the last of my soda.

On one hand, it's not like I'm a child with a curfew. Tanya doesn't specify anything other than having nights off. I suppose if I wanted to, I could stay out all night.

But I don't want to, and I'd never take advantage that way. She hired me to be a live in nanny.

Still, seeing his place wouldn't hurt. I know what I'm comfortable with, and as long as I'm direct with him, there shouldn't be any forwardness on his part to contend with.

"Sure, as long as you know there won't be sex."

"Tell me how you really feel," he snorts, pulling on to the street.

"I just don't want you to have...expectations," I say with a shrug. "You know asking a girl to come over is code sometimes."

"Yeah, it can be." He side eyes me. "But that's not why I asked you over."

"Okay." I nod, giving him a small smile.

Traffic's light, but it still takes awhile to get to his loft. "See, this why I usually just cab it," he says, raking a hand through his hair in frustration.

"Then why didn't you?" I ask, surprised. "I wouldn't have minded...I take cabs everywhere."

"Yeah, I know, but...I love my car." He smiles sheepishly. "Even though there's no place to park it."

"Did you take it with you to school?"

"Dartmouth? Yeah."

"What was it like there? You studied business, right?"

"Yeah..."

"Did you always want to study business?"

"What is this, Twenty Questions?" he teases, squeezing my knee.

"Yes. I want to know you."

"You do know me."

"Ha." I scoff. "Hardly."

Keeping his eyes ahead on the road, he rubs hand over his jaw. "All right. Yes. I mean...I always knew I'd work for my father, and that I'd eventually take over."

"But is that what you wanted?"

"Yes," he laughs, looking at me in amusement. "It really was. Still is."

"So, you majored in business..."

"I majored in business, and would have gone on to Tuck School of Business had my father not requested I receive my MBA here instead."

"Where is that? Tuck?"

"It's related to Dartmouth."

"Oh. So...he wanted you closer to home," I guessed.

"He wanted me to attend his alma mater." He shrugs. "And it's a good school...but so is Tuck."

"Did you..." I frown, wanting to navigate this conversation carefully. "Did you _want _to switch though?"

"It didn't really matter."

"It had to have mattered. You loved in New Hampshire for years; don't you have friends there?"

"I have friends everywhere," he says, glancing at me. "Anyway, being back in the city has its benefits."

"Like what?"

"My mom."

My heart flutters at his admission. There is something timelessly sweet about a boy loving his mother.

"And Alice. The twins...you."

I chuff quietly, amused. "There are thousand "me"s, Edward. I'm quite certain you could have found a replacement in New Hampshire."

"The way you regard yourself...or, rather, the way you think _I_ regard you, is tiresome, Bella. I've already told I like you."

"I know," I say, quiet.

"So?" You laugh a bit.

"So what?"

"So what's the deal?"

"I guess I'm just still getting used to this," I say, gazing out the window. "I don't go out much. Not on dates."

"That's not it," he says.

I look sharply at him. "What?"

"It's not that you don't date, it's that_ I_ date all the time and you think you'd be another notch on my bedpost."

I'm a little taken aback at his brash voice and words, but he's absolutely right, so I don't shrink away from it. "I want to trust you..."

"But you don't." He's matter of fact about this, but there's a faint undertone of hurt.

"I do," I say, touching his hand hesitantly. He's good at this, at eliciting emotion. And yet, I don't think it's false. I think he's genuinely a little wounded that I'm still suspicious of his motives. "I just don't want anything to happen that would change that. I feel like...we're balancing on a knife's edge, here."

We pull up to what I assume is his building. He turns the car off and looks at me.

"If we're going to do this, if we're going to try, then you're going to have to do two things. One, forgive my past. I don't like it when you flaunt that I've been with other girls in my face time and time again. Two, assume that from here on out, I'm with you. And only you."

"Are you asking me to forgive your past?" I smirk, cocking my head. "Or telling me to?"

He shakes his head, his pretty mouth curving in to a smirk of his own.

"Fine, then. I agree," I say. "But you need to do two things for me, as well."

He motions for me to proceed.

"One, open up. Like I said, I want to know you. Not the cute little charmer who everyone loves, but _you_. And two, act like from here on out you're with me. And only me."

Grinning, he grabs my hand. "Done."

I twist it around so that we're shaking hands. "Done."

* * *

It's just as I imagined it would be.

Spacious, with gleaming hardwood floors, and recessed lighting. Hardly any walls, giving it a wide open feeling. Lots of windows and sharp edges, but it's got its warm touches, like throw rugs here and there, plants, and photographs. Edward kicks his shoes off when he enters, so I do the same, leaving them next to my purse by the door.

He gives me a brief tour, holding my hand as we practically jog from room to room in a frantic attempt to see everything all at once.

"So what do you think?" he asks, as we regard his bed. It's gigantic, like everything else here. Dark grey sheets, almost steely, and cream walls.

"About the condo?"

"Loft."

"Loft. I love it. You're very lucky."

"I am," he says quietly, looking around as if seeing it for the first time, himself.

"I like that it feels so...open."

"Yeah." He nods. "I can't stand stuffy, closed spaces. I need room to breathe."

"How long have you had this?"

"It was a Christmas present," he says. "Sort of a pre-graduation...incentive."

"Incentive to do what? Graduate?"

"No, graduation was a given. It was an incentive to stay on track. In general."

"Hm." We walk over to the couch and sit. It's smooth and butter-soft.

Edward pulls me close, and then pulls me on to his lap.

"Hey," he whispers.

"Hey," I respond, heart a crazy, wild thing in my chest.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do this."

"Show me your place?" I ask, all innocent.

"Have you so close," he says, pulling my face closer for a kiss. He gives me his tongue right away, and I melt against him, clutching his shoulders.

* * *

_***Everyday Including Holidays - the Union Trade**_

_**i tried to update last night, but ff net was being ornery.**_

_**also, LostInIntimidation chided me for Edward's use of a car in the city. so from here on on they'll be using cabs and drivers, no matter what sebastian valmont did!**_

_**ETA: last, normally i believe in not having to explain one's writing. however, i go against that and say this:**_

_**edward and bella are just starting out in terms of having a real relationship. does edward have issues? YES. does he use humor and flippant conversation to avoid serious stuff? YES. does he still have other girls numbers in his phone? YES. does it mean he's calling them and having lurid phone sex and/or bootie calls? NO. maybe, like a lot of people in real life, he hasn't gotten around to housekeeping, i.e, cleaning his contact list and polishing his life so he can look pretty for bella. normally i loathe these ragey a/n's but...just let thecharactres get to that point. i'm not interested in perfect characters making perfect choices i'm interested in douchiness redeemed. **_

_**they will get to that point. i love the reviews, i do. and i will say everyone's been really respectful. but let's just...let the relationship play out. slowly.**_


	50. Salute

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**storyline - Appease**_

_**prompt - salute**_

_**not beta'd**_

* * *

One kiss...

...that lasts an hour.

My lips feel dry, and when I excuse myself to use the bathroom, and look in the mirror, they're red. Red from kissing. I splash water on my flushed cheeks and do what I came to do.

Back on the couch, Edward's still sprawled out, sitting the way guys do, legs open as if in constant invitation. Or maybe nonchalance. His head rests on the back, and it almost looks as if he's dozing.

"Tired?" I ask, standing behind him. I just spent the better part of an hour running my fingers through his hair, but now all I want it to touch it again, so I do.

His eyes drift open, and he looks at me upside down. "A little,"

"Do want me to call a cab?"

"Don't be ridiculous." He pulls my wrist down, forcing me to fold awkwardly over the couch.

"Edward!" I pinch his side as I topple forward. He catches me, eyes shining, grinning as he gentles my head on to his lap. "You're an overgrown child..."

"So?" He bends over me, kissing my face until I push him away, laughing. "You like me."

"Yes, I do." I think he likes hearing me acknowledge this, so I oblige him. "Edward?"

"What?"

"Were you like Alistair when you were little?"

"He's not that little anymore. In fact, sometimes he acts like an old man. Alice is always teasing him..."

"I know," I chuckle. "So, is that a 'no'?"  
"It's not a 'no'," he admits, looking away. He runs his fingers continually through my hair. "He's...more serious that I ever was, and a little more studious. A little more cynical. We're alike in other ways, though." He pauses, rubbing his chin. I've noticed he does this kind of a lot, especially when talking about himself. "We both play piano, although I think I enjoy it more than he does. And we both like books. And astronomy."

"He really does love astronomy," I say, sitting up. "Did you...did you teach him that stuff?"

He nods, the apples of his cheeks pinking ever so slightly.

"You did?" I breathe. I can't help it; I touch his face, my palm to his cheek. "I love that. It means so much to him, Edward. He's taught _me_ so many things about the constellations and their legends. We stargazed a lot in the Hamptons."

"I know. He told me." Edward sighs, sitting back again, hands folded clasped behind his head. "In fact, there's something else we have in common."

"You and Alistair?"

"Yeah. We both like you."

My face warms, and I shake my head slowly. "He has a crush on me?"

"Big crush."

"How do you know?"

"He told me."

"Oh, no," I groan, covering my face with my hands. "What a mess!"

"No, it's not," Edward snorts, tugging my hands away. "It's not that big a deal. You're young, and pretty, and you're interested in the things he likes. You listen to him, and you encourage him to talk about...everything."

"I like listening to him. He's a smart kid."

He nods.

"I like listening to you, too" I whisper, letting him hold my hands.

"I...know." He rubs his thumb over my knuckles. "Thanks."

* * *

I feel like something changed tonight, like we had a breakthrough.

Perhaps that's too dramatic a word, but it certainly feels appropriate. Edward seems more comfortable with me, more calm. It isn't that I don't like his joviality; contrarily it's one of the things I like best about him. But I've learned that a lot of the time, when someone jokes around as much as Edward, all the time, it's because they're hiding pain. Laughter may be the best medicine, but it can be an addictive drug, too. I want Edward's laughter to come from an honest place when we're together, and not because he wants to keep me at arm's length.

I realize that i'm the opposite, and that the rigid rules I've set for myself with regard to boys and dating need to be reevaluated. I still have to focus; I can't afford to get spun...but I think that being with Edward could be good for me.

I promised Edward I'd stop freaking about his past, and I will. I didn't know him before, so it's unfair of me to persist in talking about it. At the same time, though, I'm going in to this brand new phase of our relationship with my eyes wide open. It's common sense; survival. Until time has proven that we can succeed, I will take each day as it comes.

It's a balancing act: holding one another accountable without smothering the other with expectations.

Edward pulls right up to the curb. It's late, nearly midnight.

"Thanks for tonight." I unbuckle my seatbelt, already blushing at the hope of a goodnight kiss.

"Thank you," he says, brushing my air back over my shoulder. "I'd walk you to the door, but I know you're kind of paranoid..."

"Just until school starts," I say as our eyes meet, realizing I'm near desperate to be able to fulfill this half-promise. "By then I'll be part time or maybe not even working here." Although, the thought of leaving Alistair and Irina makes me feel as if I've swallowed a lead weight.

He nods.

"Good night, Edward."

"Good night, Bella." He leans close and gives me a soft kiss on the lips, pushing just enough to warm my lips with his tongue before pulling away.

Straightening my shirt, I get out of the car and step in to the Dakota. Felix grins and gives me a mock salute; I mimic him with a nod and silly grin of my own. He's older, kind of like my Dad, Charlie. Makes me wonder if he has children.

Upstairs, I'm part of the way down the hall to my room when the low murmur of voices catches my attention. It rises and falls; an argument. I don't want to listen, so I continue on to my room, but I can tell it's the Masens. While it's not surprising that they're arguing, it's surprising that they're doing it tonight, so out of the blue. I wasn't even sure if Edward Sr. was in town.

Trying to ignore the voices, I change direction and look in on the children. Irina's passed out in bed with her American Doll and purple nail polish that looks suspiciously like mine. Alistair fell asleep with both his book and his PSP on, as well as the TV. I turn the both of them off, tuck him in a little better, and go to my room.

* * *

"We only have a few more weeks until school starts," groans Alistair.

"You have, like, a month," I argue. We're back at 15 Central Park West, having a swim day with the Seanessey kids and their nanny, Maggie. The sky's looking a little overcast, but unless it actually rains, we'll stay a while longer.

"Same thing."

"Then let's enjoy what we've got left," I say, splashing him.

"Have you spoken to my mother yet?" Irina asks, popping up. "About watching us even when you return to school?"

"Erm...yes," I say, a little uncomfortable with discussing this. Things are still up in the air. "She said she'd need to talk to your father first."

"I really hope they say yes," Irina says, sighing. "I'm sick of having different nannies all the time."

I don't have the heart to tell her that it's probably her mother's attitude and suspicions that drove the former nannies away.

"I hope so, too," I say, glancing at Alistair. He blinks when I catch him watching, and then, turns bright pink. Biting back a smile, I look back at Irina. "It's looking good, though. I think I'll be able to stay."

* * *

_***Six Days at the Bottom of the Ocean - Explosions in the Sky**_

_**i love you guys. that is all.**_


	51. Coal

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**storyline: Appease**_

_**Word Prompt: Coal**_

_**Plot Generator—Idea Completion: A little bird told me...**_

_**NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

Mr. and Mrs. Masen sits across the table from me. He's got a little smile on his face, but she looks constipated. I wonder if her demeanor has anything to do with the fight I overheard last night.

He leans forward, settling his arms on the table and steepling his fingers like we're in a board meeting or something. I guess, in a way, we are.

"So, Bella. You're interested in continuing on as the children's caregiver even when your studies resume?"

"I am, yes, Sir."

"You can call me Edward."

Has no one any sense of decorum left? No one ever wants to be called by their surnames these days. It's one thing when Esme, who's down to earth and casual requests it, but Mr. Masen is both my employer and old enough to be my father. Still, I'll do what he wants, so I simply nod, smiling agreeably. I also make sure to maintain eye contact, but only when necessary.

Don't want to have the missus thinking I'm checking out her prize stallion.

"I realize I haven't been around much but Tanya says you've been fine." He smiles graciously. "And a little bird tells me the children are absolutely attached to you. It would be a shame to have someone else step in when you're so willing to continue, even part time."

"Really, I can perform most of the same duties. It's easy enough to arrange my class schedule so that it coincides with that of the twins'. As for residing here, that of course is up to you, but I have the option of staying at the dorms, as well." My eyes flicker to Tanya, whose expression is still unreadable. "Or I can stay, so that I can help Irina and Alistair with homework and bedtime. Either way.."

"You really care for them," he muses, pleased.

"Yes. They're easy to be close to."

Tanya blinks and turns her face, settling her gaze on the windows to her right, where the day's early sunlight floods in.

"I'd love for you to stay on, then. We can discuss your wages at a different time; I'll have something drawn up for you to look over." He nods decisively, standing. "Tanya?"

"Yes, dear." Resignation seeps from her voice. I don't know why. She hasn't shown signs of disliking me, and she doesn't seem to disapprove of my place as the twin's nanny. Perhaps it has nothing to do with me, or this conversation. Who knows where she's at? Even after all this time, she remains a mystery to me...which is surprising. Normally I'm quite adept at figuring people out.

"I have to go. Can you finish up here?"

"Of course."

Mr. Masen...Edward...leans hesitantly down, kissing the top of her head. It's unexpectedly tender, and I look away.

He pats my shoulder on his way out.

Tanya sighs, standing. "Well. That's that."

"Oh, okay." I stand as well, clasping my hands. "Thank you for allowing me to stay, Tanya."

"It's fine," she says, waving me off dismissively.

"Is there anything I need to know, anything that might be changing in terms of what you expect from me?" I ask. Eventually I'm going to have to tell her, and probably her husband, that I'm dating someone...but for now I want to keep things on a need to know basis. "I'll be escorting the children to school on the mornings, I presume? And picking them up?"

"Yes, with our driver." Tanya nods, walking slowly to the door. "If I think of anything, I'll draft it in to a new contract."

"All right."

She leaves without another word, disappearing down the hallway. I turn in the opposite direction, toward my room. On my way there, I pass Irina's room. She's sitting on the floor, playing with another little girl her age. I smile to myself and let them alone, figuring I'll share my good news with her when she's less occupied. Alistair's door is closed, though, so I knock lightly.

"Alistair?"

"Yes...come in."

I enter his room, which is a current mess of Legos. He's half way through the construction of Hogwart's castle, and won't accept any outside help. "Hey."

"Hi." Furrowing his brow, he completes a turret.

"You've come quite a way since this morning," I comment, picking my way carefully over gray and black blocks.

"I know," he says, innocently immodest the way children his age can be.

"So, your parents agreed to let me stay on. Looks like I'll be with you guys even after the summer ends." I'd love to say "for good", but I have no idea what the future holds. It's best to be cautiously optimistic.

He's still examining his castle, but he breaks in to a huge smile, completely reminding me of Edward. "Good."

"Yeah, I thought so." His happiness makes my chest hurt, and before I can think about it, I go to him, bending down and wrapping my arms around his thin little body. "I'm glad we'll get to hang out. Imagine Halloween..."

He lets me hug him, but I make sure to release him when his cheeks turn pink. I'm halfway to the door when he says, "Bella."

I turn, and he plows in to me, hugging me with a ferociousness I'd never associate with someone so mellow and controlled. A little shocked, I hug him back, again, until he lets go and returns to his Legos.

I see now how children can wrap themselves around your heart.

* * *

Tanya's out, so I'm home with the twins.

It's been a quiet day. After my meeting with the Masens, the children stayed in their rooms, Irina with her friend and Alistair with his building. I caught up on a little bit of reading and correspondence, calling both of my parents to let them know about my extended contract of employment.

I even texted Alice, letting her know that I'd be a more permanent fixture. Her joy at the news surprised me, making me realize just how fragile a thing my presence must have seemed to everyone else. How many nannies had these kids gone through? I decided right there to do everything in my power to preserve my position; not just for my bank account, which was flourishing as a result, but for the twins. They deserved as much stability as possible.

Irina wanders in through the open door. I told her a little earlier, too, after her friend went home.

"Bella," she says, climbing up on to my bed. "Do you know how to french braid?"

"Yes...did you want me to do your hair?"

"Yes, please."

"Go get your brush and an elastic."

She hops down and runs off while I clear a space at my desk so I can sit there comfortably while I braid. A moment later she's back, with a handful of stuff, including hair feathers and glittery rubber bands.

"Irina," I laugh, pushing her to the floor between my knees. "What am I supposed to do with all this?"

"I want a side french braid," she says, twisting to look up at me. "Like Lauren Conrad."

"I can't believe you even know who that is."

"Um, me and Chenelle use to watch the Hills all the time," she says, haughty as all get out.

"What, when you were five?" I laugh incredulously, trying not to be disturbed at what other than side french braids Irina's probably picked up from TV . "Anyway, whatever. I can do it. Did you want the rest out, then? Like Lauren? And the feather in the back?"

"Yes," she says, nodding. "And I brought an extra feather for you."

"Oh...that's okay, sweetie."

"No, I want to be twins." She's not asking; she's telling.

"Er, okay..." I suppose it isn't that big a deal. "I'll do it this time."

Her hair is straight and so silky that it's hard to keep the braid from sliding. I manage to do it, though, fastening the end and then adding her feather to the back. Admittedly, it's adorable –on _her_. I just hope I don't look too ridiculous myself. Not only have I not braided my hair in ages, but I've never attempted the feather.

In the end, though, it looks fine, and Irina is overjoyed that we're "twins".

"Take a picture and put it on Facebook!" she cries, grabbing my phone.

Laughing, I clear the hair out of our brushes.

"Bella, who's 'O&O'?"

I grab the phone from her hands. "Oh, um..."

"They said they've been thinking about you aaaaalll day," she says, batting her lashes dramatically. "Is it a boy?"

"Irina..." I shake my head, smiling at her. "None of your business, Ms. Nosy."

"Is it Edward?" she asks in a –very loud and exaggerated –stage whisper.

"What?" I gape openly at her, feeling my face heat up. I swear, you can't put _anything_ past these kids...I really shouldn't be surprised. Edward and I are careful in public and around them, but I know sometimes there are words and touches and glances that, if someone were to pay enough attention, might give us away.

Irina tugs at her feather. "Do you love my brother?"

"I like him, yeah," I say, sitting on the edge of my bed.

"Is that him?" she asks again, pointing at my phone.

I nod reluctantly.

Her blue eyes widen. "He loves you?"

"No...I don't...we're just hanging out, you know? We like each other. We like to...hang out." An eight year old has reduced me to an inarticulate rambler. Awesome.

"Well, you'd better text him back," she says bossily. "But first, take our picture. For Facebook."

* * *

Edward's eyes sweep over me, head to toe and back before landing on my hair. "I like...that." he points to my braid.

"Thanks," I say, rolling my eyes.

"Saw you and your BFF on Facebook," he tease.

"Shut up," I laugh, kicking him. The picture of Irina and I turned out so cute, I made it my default, and Edward and I often communicate online.

He grabs my leg and holds on to it. We're in one of our usual spots, on the grass by the Tarr Family playground. I try to switch it up with the twins, and by this late in the summer we've pretty much been to all of Central Park's playgrounds. One or two have emerged as favorites; Irina and Alistair like this one because of the water jets. Sometimes Jess and her charge, Riley, come to play, too.

The playground is packed today. Summer's almost over, filling me with both anticipation of autumn's crisp, cool air and sadness that the long, sunshine filled days are coming to a close.

"You need to shave," he says, caressing my calf.

"So do you," I shoot back, sticking my tongue out. I think hanging out with Edward is forcing me to regress, and I tell him so.

"Ha, don't blame your childishness on me," he says, tugging my leg so that I slide closer.

"You better stop," I warn, glancing over to where Irina's climbing something. "Your sister suspects."

"Alice already knows."

"Irina, genius."

"Oh, no shit?" He stills, following my gaze to the playground. "What did she say?"

"She saw your super subtle text from earlier."

"But...it was in code."

I purse my lips. "First of all, Irina's not stupid. And second, the message was not in code; your name was, and she _still_ figured it out."

Grimacing, he flops on to his back. "Yikes."

"Yeah, I know."

"Was she...weird about it?"

"No...I think she probably likes the idea. But just...you know. I can't have her talking about it and then Tanya overhearing. I want to be the one to tell your parents if I have to."

"But...you're going to continue living there, right?" he asks, frowning. "Or at least working there?"

"Yes."

"How long do you plan on keeping this a secret, Bella? You said the money you made, and saved, from this summer would be enough to carry you for awhile, right?"

"Yeah, but –"

"So, what's up?" He sounds irritated.

Sighing, I scoot closer. "It's not just the money anymore, even though it's great and it helps. It's the twins, too. I don't want to leave them now. You should've seen Alistair when I told him I was staying...he hugged me so hard." There's a lump in my throat, and I swallow it, shaking my head. "He's never done that."

Edward's face softens.

"Yeah...it's like, they need me. And I love being with them. If I have to work, then I want to work with them, taking care of them."

"How about I pay you to take care of me?" Edward asks, grinning and waggling his eyebrows. "Be my nanny. You could make my breakfast...and then feed it to me..."

"Edward."

"...preferably naked..."

"What have I told you about objectification?" I chide playfully, pulling his leg hair.

"Oh, by this point I'd say you probably objectify the hell out of me, too. I see how you look at me when you think I'm not paying attention."

Indignant, I cry, "I do not!"

"Do too. It's okay." He drops a kiss on my cheek, just shy of my mouth.

"You're so conceited," I mumble, shivering away from his roaming hands.

"So I've been told."

I look at him, and he kisses my mouth. Twice. I let him, but then I pull back, glancing around. No one's really paying attention, but they could be.

"So, no on the naked breakfasts?" he whispers, nibbling my earlobe.

"If I was your nanny you'd probably live in time out," I laugh, giving him a little shove. "You'd get no dessert, coal in your stocking, and maybe even spankings." That last part is just for him.

He shudders, groaning. "You're making me hard."

Jumping to my feet, I toss the corner of the blanket over him, hoping he's joking. "Get it together. I'm going to see if they're ready to go yet."

"Yeah, yeah."

"So...are we good? With the not telling?" I ask him.

He nods. "Yeah, I'm just...selfish."

"And spoiled."

"Yes."

"Are you _sure_ it doesn't bother you?" I ask, biting my lip.

"Bella, it's fine," he chuckles. "I get it. Tanya's not someone you want to mess with. Believe me, I know."

"All right. I just don't want you saying one thing but secretly being resentful."

"I'll let you know when it starts to fester."

I give him a look and walk over to the water fountains, where Irina is dancing beneath the spray. "Five more minutes," I say. "Then you have to dry off."

"I don't want to go," she whines. "Bella..."

"It's getting late," I say.

"It's not! It's still bright!"

"Because it's summertime...but it's almost seven, Irina."

She pouts, turning away. I turn and scour the rest of the playground before finally spying Alistair's red shorts. He's dangling upside down from one of the climbing structures, his shirt almost covering his face. He needs a haircut.

"Leaving soon, dude," I announce, once I'm close enough for him to hear me.

"I saw Edward kissing you," he announces, face red from hanging.

"No, you didn't," I laugh, looking over to where Edward is still on the blanket. From our angle, it's nearly impossible to see him.

"I did. And Irina said you like him."

"Well, I do. I like all of you."

He eases up so that he's sitting on the very top, and looks down at me. "Please. You guys are always looking at each other all mushy. It's gross."

Biting my lip, I squint up at him, wondering how much of this is genuine grossed-out-ness and how much is jealousy. It's hard to tell; he's rather impassive at the moment. "Five minutes, and then I'm coming after you myself."

"Fine," he mutters, starting his descent.

"Now Alistair's badgering me about liking you," I say once I get back to the blanket. "This is so going to blow up in my face."

"Relax; I'll handle it," Edward says.

"You'll talk to them? We can't ask them to lie."

"I didn't say anything about lying. They just need to keep their mouths shut."

My stomach churns; this feels wrong. But then Irina skips up, dripping wet, Alistair trailing close behind. I cover her in a towel and hand Alistair a bottle of water.

Edward's helping me fold the blanket when Alistair says, "you guys are really obvious."

I look at Edward, who looks at Alistair. "Dude. You're being obnoxious."

"You are."

"No, I'm just kickin' it with Bella. If you have something to say, then just say it."

"I did say it," Alistair says.

It's almost funny, watching the two of them bicker, like Edward with his blonder, smaller counterpart.

"Not to me, you didn't," Edward says, purposely antagonizing him. He's good at it; I'd know.

I help Irina in to her sundress, sighing loudly.

"Shut up, Edward," Alistair says, suddenly bored. "I saw you kissing Bella. I know you like her."

"We won't say anything," Irina says softly, clutching my arm. "I don't want you to get in trouble with my Mom."

Apparently these two know and understand way more than we give them credit for. Life's BS makes kids grow up fast, I guess. I nod, unsure of what to say besides, "Okay."

"Yeah, she hates Edward," Alistair says.

"No she doesn't," I argue, lamely.

"They were fighting about him last night," he scoffs. "Anyway. Your secret's safe with us. Just, stop kissing. It's gross."

I flick his arm. "You said that already."

He shrugs, giving Edward a look. "Can we get a milkshake from the Shake Shack?"

Edward looks at me. I shrug, and nod. "Sure."

"Little bastard's blackmailing us," he whispers, as we follow along behind the twins. We rode our bikes today, even Edward, who met us with his earlier.

I laugh quietly. "Let's hope it doesn't come to that."

"Well, he is my father's son..."

"And so are you," I say. "So...why would Tanya and your Dad be fighting about you, you think?"

"It could be anything."

* * *

_**i have a 9 year old boy. they notice EVERYTHING.**_

_***Metric - Help I'm Alive**_


	52. Relate

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**Story - Appease**_

_**Prompt - Relate, deflate, negate  
**_

_**NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

When I was a kid, I dreamt about New York City. The fascination never abated, following me into my teen years...it's one of the reasons I was so determined to attend school here. I still remember watching this movie once, where the characters went to Coney Island. Growing up between Phoenix and Forks, I went to my fair share of amusement parks, but there was something so particularly...quirky and cultured about Coney Island. It seemed so legendary.

The summer before my freshman year at NYU, I made sure to include Luna Park at Coney Island in my list of things to do. I've been a time or two since then, and it remains one of my favorite things about living here.

Somehow, though, I'm not surprised to discover Irina and Alistair haven't been there yet. I don't know if nannies past thought they were too young or if it was beneath them or something ridiculous, but, it's barely even on their radar. With the start of school looming on the near horizon, however, I start plotting with Alice and Edward to take the twins.

We decide on the Saturday before school starts, right in the middle of August's dog days. It's muggy and hot; my t-shirt sticks to me the moment I step outside, making me almost miss the intense but _dry_ heat of Arizona. Still, I want to do this, so we have Eleazar drive us to Surf Avenue with the twins, where we meet Edward and Alice. It takes forever –traffic is insane –but we leave early so we have time.

The spangly, round loops of the red Luna Park sign gleam brightly overhead, colorful curlicues against a bright, blue sky. The twins are near frantic with excitement beside us, straining to see and hopping around like they have to use the bathroom.

"I haven't been here since I was a kid," Edward muses nostalgically, his fingers finding mine.

"Mom brought us for my birthday," Alice says, smiling. "Remember? You puked after riding the Cyclone."

"In my defense, I rode it five times in a row... after eating a huge lunch." He grimaces. "Even now I relate the smell of cotton candy to vomit."

"Okay, that's disgusting," I say, wrinkling my nose. "I love cotton candy; don't ruin it for me."

"Sorry."

"And I'm still going to eat it today, even if I have to keep my distance," I tease.

Winking at me, he squeezes my fingers. "I'll buy you an extra large."

"What if it makes you hurl?" Alistair asks, regarding Edward cautiously, like he might vomit right now.

"I'll buy you one too," says Edward, as if that helps.

Alistair shrugs. "Deal."

"And me," Irina says, standing on tip-toe to see inside the park.

Eventually we make it inside. The sun beats down on us, and the air is mixed with the aromas of hot dogs, popcorn, and – yes – cotton candy. I'm already imagining what sort of junk food we'll consume throughout the day... God knows I've got the extra cash. Mr. Masen tosses it at me all the time. Guilt money. It's early, though, so we bypass the snacks and head straight for the rides, deciding to start small and work our way up.

The Balloon Expedition is an ideal way to begin, because we can see the rest of the park from our vantage point. Alistair, Edward and Irina take seriously the task of mapping out exactly what we need to do and in what order. I mainly just chat with Alice and take pictures. Until Edward whispers in my ear, letting me know he'd like to ride this again later with just me, maybe when the sun is setting.

Then all I can think about it kissing. Such a rogue.

Despite their meticulous "planning", we wander randomly around the park, choosing our adventures at whim. My favorite is definitely the Cyclone. It turns out Alice is a complete wimp when it comes to thrill rides, while Edward is the type to want to do something repeatedly.

"I see now why you puked," I say dryly, when he suggests riding the Circus Coaster again.

"Don't be a killjoy. We won't be coming here again for awhile."

"We won't be coming here at all if you vomit all over everyone's memories."

"I'll go!" shouts Alistair, tugging Edward. They run off, literally, leaving the girls and I behind.

"At least they're going on empty stomachs," I say. "He's a giant kid, I swear."

"He acts up especially for you," laughs Alice.

"Probably." We stroll over to a nearby stand and by an ice cream for Irina. "But that doesn't negate the fact that he suffers from Peter Pan syndrome. Look at him!"

Over in the line for the ride, Edward's shoving Alistair aside so he can get on first. Alistair's yelling and laughing, much to the amusement of the attendant.

"Yeah. He knows you're watching, though. See?"

On cue, Edward glances over and gives us a thumbs up. I love it, this preppry rich boy acting the fool. Maybe, probably, acting the fool for me.

* * *

A couple of hours later, we're dragging. Even Edward.

"Alice, take the games so Bella and I can go on the Balloon Expedition one more time before we go," Edward says, handing her a twenty. He looks at me, cheeks red from the sun, hair messy from the wind. "You want to?"

"Sure."

The sun's starting to set. Neon lights and glowing signs bring color to dusk's grey. The park is just as crowded as it was earlier in the day, the lines just as long. I suppose we're not the only ones having our last hurrah.

Edward stops at a stand selling cotton candy.

"Are you sure?" I laugh quietly.

"It's fine," he snorts. "I was like...seven when that happened. Alice was just being a pain." He pays for a huge cloud of fluffy pink and hands it to me, smiling. "Come on."

The line for the Balloon Expedition has actually gone down; maybe people are more interested in thrill rides now. We get a balloon to ourselves, and huddle close as it drifts up, giving us a great view of the park. A warm breeze blows, tickling my hair across my face.

I turn from the sparkle of lights below to find Edward lost in thought, his face more serious than it's been all day.

"You okay?" I ask, taking a bite of cotton candy.

Blinking, he snaps out of it. "Yeah. Tired, I guess. I was up late last night."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. Sometimes I have problems sleeping. My mother thinks it's stress related."

"What are you stressed about?"

"I don't know. Graduate school, I guess. Taking over my father's company."

"But...that's not for awhile, right?"

"Not for a long while. He still wants me there, though, learning alongside him. I have a feeling that's what he and Tanya were fighting about. She doesn't have a clue how anything works, yet she still tries to throw her two cents in. It's ridiculous. I think she thinks Alistair should be groomed for the position as well, but I mean...come on. The kid is _eight_. We don't even know if he's interested in this." He shakes his head, scowling. "Everything to her is a power play, something to secure her position. Like we're playing life's biggest game of chess."

It just might be the most I've heard him say about...anything this serious.

"Alistair's lucky to have you, to run interference," I say.

But the moment has passed. He shrugs, picking a piece of cotton candy from my cheek. "Serious conversation to be having up here..."

"That's okay –"

"Nah, we're watching the sunset from a fake balloon while you stuff your face with sugar. Come here." He pulls our bodies closer, making the balloon rock a little.

Our lips touch; mine are sticky-sweet. Sexy, playful, he swipes his tongue across and inside, like he's tasting me. My eyes had been open, but they close when he does that; I tingle down deep, tensing and pressing against him, abandoning my cotton candy for the nectar of his mouth.

Sighing, I slant my mouth so I can get closer, and he responds in kind, sliding his hand into the space between my thighs. Kissing side by side is always a little more awkward than it should be, and my body angles naturally toward his, yearning to face him in this cramped, yet exposed, space.

"You're driving me crazy," he whispers, dragging his lips to my throat. He clutches my waist with one hand while moving the other higher, touching his thumb to where my panties would be. Where they _are_, only there's a denim inseam there, too.

"I'm sorry," I whisper back, tilting my head as he sucks my collarbone.

"I want you," he says, face pushed in to my neck. Warm breath flutters down the V of my shirt, raising goosebumps across my chest.

"I want you too."

He looks up at me, biting his lip, . Gone is the mischievous ever-child who disarms me daily with teasing and silliness. I forget sometimes that he's _this_ man, too, whose smolder makes me catch my breath, makes my heart stutter in acknowledgment of the need so naked on his face.

He kisses me again, hard, teeth hitting mine before they readjust to nip at my lips.

Our balloon begins its descent.

"Shit," he whispers, laughing in to my shoulder. Palming his erection, he grimaces. "This sucks."

I smother my giggle with a big bite of cotton candy. It's easier for me to hide it, of course, but...I'm just as worked up as he is.

"Wish I was driving you home," he says as we float to the ground.

"Why, so we could drive around for hours looking for non-existent places to neck?"

"So I could bring you to _my _home," he says, adjusting himself again. "And do more than neck."

"Slow down," I say gently, kissing his cheek.

"I've been going slow, Bella," he whisper-moans. "You don't even know."

"I do..."

"You don't."

"You think I don't think about you at night?" I ask quietly. A blush steals across my cheeks, and I know that he now sees my dirty thoughts written all over my face.

"Oh, my God. You're...this is not helping the situation," he says, looking pained.

The attendant comes by to let us out, effectively bursting our lusty little bubble. I hop down and Edward follows, hands in his pockets. I toss the end of my treat in to the trash as we go to the games, where Alice and the twins are hanging out.

"You guys just about ready?" I ask.

Alistair shrugs and yawns. Alice nods. "I'm exhausted. And I have to meet with a group from one of my classes tomorrow, so...we should head out."

Edward slings Irina on to his back so she can piggy-back, and we leave Luna Park.

* * *

We spend Sunday in the park, having a mellow day, just the twins and I.

I buy them their last ice creams of the summer, and we have a dinner picnic in front of the television, courtesy of Mrs. Cope. Part of me is definitely sad to see summer go, but I'm also a little excited about the upcoming months.

For now, I'm still residing at the Masen's, but I have time to decide what I'm going to do. Classes start September fourth, and I can always stay in the dorm I signed up for, same as I've done for the past few years. Tanya doesn't seem to mind either way, as long as it doesn't affect my work or the twins' schedule.

I know Edward wants me out of his father's house. I can't say I blame him, even though things have been good for me here.

At seven, I turn off the TV. The kids deflate a little, knowing this means their bedtime is back, but they behave. By seven thirty, I'm walking them through their bedtime rituals and tucking them in.

"Will you french braid my hair in the morning?" Irina asks sleepily.

"Yes...I will."

Alistair's request is typical, for him. "I want eggs tomorrow, scrambled. And bacon."

"Please?"

"Please."

"I'll tell Mrs. Cope." I ruffle his hair and turn off the light.

Mr. Masen passes me in the hallway as he goes to them, I suppose to say good night to his children himself. It's a rarity.

Back in my room, I go over the paper Tanya gave me, the schedule for tomorrow according to what last year's nanny did. It seems simple enough, but I should probably go to bed early, too, if I want to feel human at six a.m.

I'm brushing my teeth when my phone vibrates on the bathroom counter. I spit and rinse before picking it up.

_What are you doing?_

_About to go to sleep_

_at 8?_

_8:30 actually_

_?_

_I have to be up early with your bro/sis_

_sucks_

_yeah I know_

_come out_

I roll my eyes and shut myself in to the bathroom, dialing Edward's number. He picks up on the first ring.

"Did I not just say I was going to sleep?"

"Fine. Come see me after you drop the kids to school then."

"I...oh. Okay."

"Good."

"It'll be early," I warn.

"I'll buy you breakfast."

* * *

_***Little People - Basique**_


	53. Butterfly

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**Story - Appease**_

_**Prompt - butterfly**_

_**NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

Bleary eyed and yawning, the twins and I make it through the morning on auto-pilot. Mrs. Cope has been feeding these children for years; she knew what Alistair wanted even before I asked her. He gets his bacon and eggs, while Irina devours french toast made just for her,

I braid Irina's hair while Alistair agonizes between his white and blue polos...help Alistair un-do a knot from his laces...fasten Irina's tiny gold butterfly earrings.

I make sure their uniforms are wrinkle-free, their teeth are brushed, and that they've flossed, despite the whining I have to put up with.

"No one _likes_ to floss," I huff, arms folded as I observe their progress. "Just get it over with! Cavities suck!"

"Have_ you_ ever had a cavity?" Alistair asks, leaning over to spit in the sink.

"Yes. And it sucked."

Eventually we make it downstairs to the car, where Eleazar is waiting with the door open. I slide in after the twins, swallowing back yet another yawn. Summer has softened us all; I'll have to get used to early mornings again, both because of these two as well as my own upcoming classes.

Eleazar pulls up to the Dwight School, where I see other parents and nannies dropping their children off. I follow suit, stopping just short of kissing them goodbye. Alistair stands aside and waits while Irina hugs me.

"You'll pick us up?"

"Of course."

"'kay. Bye, Bella."

"Bye, guys. Have a great day."

Alistair smirks and waves before turning to go inside.

"Heading home, Miss?"

"Actually...no." I give Eleazar Edward's address. If he's familiar with it, he doesn't say so, promptly swinging the car back in to traffic. I play with the idea of texting Edward to warn him that I'm on my way, but then decide not to.

Let's see if he's as awake and ready as he was last night.

Edward's half naked and sleep-ruffled, grinning down at me from the frame of his door.

"Utterly indecent," I murmur, grazing his bare stomach with my nails as I push past him.

He closes the door and follows me to the kitchen. "What? I'm at home."

"Didn't you have to go out to get that?" I ask, pointing to the bag of bagels and two steaming coffees on the counter.

"Ever heard of delivery?" he asks, propping himself on a barstool and pulling me to stand between his legs. He slouches so our faces our level, and then kisses me. He's minty.

"Did you just brush your teeth?" I ask, resting my hands on his shoulders. His skin is incredibly smooth. I bet he uses an exfoliant in the shower. He's picky like that.

He nods, eyes lazily tracking my mouth as it moves.

"So you remembered I was coming..." I try to back away so I can reach my coffee, but he tightens his legs, trapping me.

"Of course I remembered. I invited you." His fingers tuck themselves in to my waistband, and he tugs me closer. "Where're you going?"

"Coffee," I whisper-giggle, arching away from his migrating hands. They're everywhere; beneath my shirt and tickling my sides and back.

I'm not used to him this way, all serenely muted and mellow in the early morning quiet. His eyes have that look, the one that says they were just closed in sleep. His bedhead is precious. It draws me in, and I allow myself to press in to his space.

"In a minute," he says, kissing me. I give up the games and let myself go, kissing him the way I always want to. The concept of holding him at arm's length, the way I did when we first met, hardly able to really even look at him, seems so foreign and far away now. Again, I'm reminded of two different people, one more rigid and one less respectful, and I marvel at how we've met in the middle, how we really do fit.

Clasping my fingers behind his head and through his hair, I hold him firmly, my mouth wanting and open, accepting his tongue.

His hands skim down my butt until he's cupping it in both hands. He squeezes, pulling me even closer, and moans quietly when our lower halves meet in a way that makes me warmly aware of how hard he is. It's not the first time I've been aware, but it's the first time I've felt it.

But maybe I expected to. Maybe it's why the "first thing" I pulled from my closet today was a thin, gauzy skirt.

The same sexual prowess I ran away from when Edward first sauntered in to my life is the same that appeals to me now. My mind and body are of the same accord, both yearning for the release and satisfaction they know this man can give me. It's more than that, though, because if that was all I needed, I could have gotten it on my own. And I have.

And had it been a willing body I needed, I could have called Jacob, because he's always had feelings. I could have said yes to the male classmates, peacocks flaunting their feathers.

But I didn't, because it would have meant nothing. And when it comes down to it, to me, sex is always something.

Right here, though, is where I've longed to be. Feeling this way. I suppose we don't choose who we love; rather love chooses us and we either submit or rebel. I tried to fight it, but...throwing in the towel never felt so good.

I suck Edward's tongue; he stiffens. His hands slip down and under my skirt, palms warm against my behind, the delicate material of my panties. He lets our kiss drift to a stop and pulls slightly away, smiling crookedly. "You're so soft," he says.

"And you're so hard," I say, smirking.

"Don't they teach you in nanny school not to tease?"

"Pretty sure they taught me not to make out with the older children of my employer."

His lips push in to a pout. "I'm not a child."

"Good, then you'll be patient while I have my coffee." I drop kisses on either side of his mouth and then pat his thigh, asking silently for permission to go.

He obliges, giving my buns once last squeeze before letting go altogether.

* * *

We eat outside, on a tiny balcony next to his living room. The sun rises on the opposite side of the building, so while it's bright up here, it's not blinding.

"I bet you have killer sunsets," I remark, sipping my coffee.

"I do," he affirms, nodding.

"Do you have parties?"

"I haven't been here much," he says, tearing a piece of bagel off and tossing it in to his mouth. "I've had friends over, but nothing major."

With a place like this, I'm sure he's had plenty of female company, but I keep that unsavory thought to myself. He's with me now. I promised myself I'd see where this goes.

"I love the kitchen, too," I say longingly. I'm no Betty Crocker...or Martha Stewart...but I miss having proper access to an oven. I suppose technically I cook bake back at the Masen's penthouse, but that's Mrs. Cope's domain. She's the queen of that castle.

Edward glances at it through the glass. "It's all right, I guess. " He shrugs. "I usually eat out or get stuff delivered, so I hardly use it."

I make a mental note to cook him something one night.

We chat about the upcoming academic year, comparing class schedules. Finding time to hang out will be an even more creative endeavor now than it was over summer, but we'll figure it out. In a way, I'm a little relieved he'll be just as busy as me. That way I won't be so tempted to goof off, and I won't feel guilty when I have to choose studying over him.

Edward's quickly becoming a very significant part of my life, but I can't afford to ignore the rest.

"This might be one of the best bagels I've ever had," I sigh, polishing it off. "Where'd you get it? Zabar's?"

"Of course." He smiles, standing.

I follow him inside. "I don't think I knew they delivered."

"They even ship outside the city," he says, like it's common knowledge. Well, maybe it is.

I use the bathroom, and when I come back, Edward's on the couch. The kissing couch.

His head lolls to the side as he watches me walk approach. When I'm close enough he sits up and guides me on to his lap. I try to sit sideways but he maneuvers me so that I'm facing him, knees neatly bracketing his thighs.

"So." I put my palms to his chest. Besides a couple of times at his mom's or swimming, I haven't seen him this casual, this...undressed. He's in just sweatpants; sensuality rolls off him in waves, like he knows that seeing him this way commands my attention in different ways than usual. It's very physical and undeniable...I want to do nothing but touch and be touched.

His lips find my neck, and he kisses a trail down to my collarbone, where he pauses.

I kiss his forehead, and he closes his eyes. "Lemme take this off," he says.

Lifting my arms, I lean back a little so he can get my tank top off. The grin on his face when he sees my bra is hilarious. He smooshes his face in to my cleavage. "Worth the wait, Bella."

"Worth the wait?" I repeat, laughing. "We've only been fooling around for a couple of weeks."

"Four weeks," he says, voice muffled by boobs.

"You've been counting?"

Reaching up to hold my breasts in each of his hands, he looks at me. "Haven't you?"

"...yeah," I admit, biting my lip.

We stare, eyes searching each other's faces. He rubs his thumbs over the fabric of my bra, grazing my nipples before dropping his hands. Then he touches my bottom lip, shifting beneath me, reminding me that things are not as calm below the surface as they might appear above.

"You know what I love?" he asks, guiding my face closer.

"What?"

"That when we're like this I get all of you."

I nod faintly, feeling vaguely intoxicated by such closeness.

"I want..." his hand snakes down, right past the elastic of my underwear as if it isn't even there, to where I'm wet... "to watch you let go."

Our mouths meet and match: every stroke of the tongue, every sigh, every push and every pull. He twists his hand and inserts a couple of his fingers, keeping his thumb outside. I gasp, and he kisses me deeper. It's calculated and sudden, and I know that all of our games have led to this.

And instead of being nervous about it, wary of his intentions, I welcome the sureness of his touch, giving in to the craving. Instead of my mind racing with consequences, my heart flutters with possibilities.

The more he touches me, the more I want it. The longer we kiss, the wetter I get.

I come on his fingers, my mouth quivering in a quiet cry.

He withdraws slowly, still kissing me.

* * *

_***Foxes - Youth (Adventure Club Remix)**_

_**it's a bummer not being able to respond to a review because the reviewer doesn't receive PM's. Dudes. How are we supposed to chat? **_

_**Anyway... i know it's tacky for me to respond to you via A/N, and, you ~know~ who you are → I fixed some of the details you mentioned, fair enough and thank you. Some of the other things you talked about were off, though; sorry. We'll have to agree to disagree on those ones.**_

_**Everyone – especially native New Yorkers – seems to have different takes on city life. Me? I've visited a bunch of times over the years, and lived in LI for a year (resulting in lots of city frolicking ). So, I'm not a total tourist but I'm ~nowhere near~ a local. nope, island girl here. But I have really good memories of Coney Island (from my childhood). And I rode the Cyclone when I was 8... maybe it was different in the 80s.**_


	54. Hunt

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**Story - Appease**_

_**Prompt - hunt**_

_**NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

I might be coming down, but he's flushed and tense, breathing heavily underneath me. His fingers dig in to my hips, and he pushes up against me, moving me back and forth over his lap, moving like it's instinctive. His kisses become wild and breathless.

He says he likes when I let go, but I find _his_ loss of control fascinating. It's kind of a turn on, and I think that if he asks for sex, I might give in. I want to give in. The floodgates aren't just open, they're gone.

A tiny pinch of pain at my next breaks me out of my concupiscence. Edward comes.

"Ow," I whisper, stilling.

"Sorry, sorry..." he chants, panting in to my neck.

"Did you bite me?" I laugh, touching the skin. It's damp and warm to the touch, from his insistent tongue and teeth.

"Yeah." He looks sheepish. "I...it's been a while."

"I think your awhile and my awhile might be totally different things," I say, brushing his hair back with my fingertips.

"Maybe," he concedes, peppering kisses along my cleavage. "I'm gonna take a quick shower."

"Oh, okay." I climb awkwardly off of his lap, adjusting my bra strap.

"Don't go anywhere," he says, winking.

"Where would I go?" I ask, looking around for my tank top, which is on the floor beside the couch.

True to his word, Edward's shower is quick. He emerges not five minutes later, in a t shirt and another pair of sweatpants.

"Oh, so you do wear shirts," I tease.

"Yeah...I only go shirtless when I'm in seduction mode."

"Ew..."

"Ew what?" He comes up behind me, wrapping me in both arms.

"Seduction mode sounds so licentious."

"Well, it worked, didn't it?" He goes back to my neck, tickling me with his mouth. "When was the last time you hooked up?"

"Like, slept with someone?"

"Mhm..."

"The summer before sophomore year."

"A year ago?" His eyes are cartoonishly round as he comes to stand in front of me. "You're practically a virgin."

"Why, because you're practically a libertine?" I laugh, giving him a playful shove. "I've had sex; I just don't have it often."

"So basically you limit it to serious relationships."

"Is that what this is?"

"Do you want it to be?"

"I don't know." I frown, shaking my head – at myself. I really am rusty; I sound ridiculous. "Yes."

"You sure? You don't sound sure." He's back to his cocky self, self assured and gorgeous and teasing. "You either know or you don't, Bella Poppins."

"We're regressing back to the nanny names?"

He stands right in front of me, rubbing his hands over the skin of my stomach. "Don't you know by now the nanny names are terms of endearment? You're my fantasy..."

Charmer. I won't admit it, but I like the names, too.

"I do want to be with you," I say, biting my lip. "It's..." I exhale roughly, twisting my hair in to a loose ponytail. "It's just hard to let go sometimes."

He nods. "I can see that about you. It kind of makes me that much more interested in cracking the shell."

"I was afraid of that," I say. "Before. I thought that's all you were interested in – the hunt."

"And now?" he prompts.

"Now I think you're different."

Slowly, he nods, clasping his hands atop his head as he gazes intently down at me. "I am."

"Feels like such a cliché," I whisper, fidgeting with my skirt.

"What does?" He reaches down, taking my hands in his.

"This." I gesture between us. "The nice girl tames the bad boy. It's a typical tale."

"Most bad boys are tamed eventually," he says, caressing his hands over my neck. "It just takes one."

We kiss, slowly.

It's funny. I thought I was taming him, but maybe it is I who has been in need of taming all along.

* * *

In the early afternoon, I summon Eleazar.

Normally I'd consider just calling a cab, but the Masens were pretty adamant about picking Irina and Alistair up with the driver.

Edward walks me downstairs. "Will you come back tomorrow?"

"Yes." I nod, smiling up at him. "I'll bring breakfast this time."

He grins, smoothing down my hair. We just spent the past seven hours making out and watching TV. There were even a couple bouts of ticking and rough housing, which were obvious ploys to get me to kiss him.

We have just this week. After that, school, and work for me, will keep us exhaustively busy. Normally this time of year is marked by the anticipation of brand new classes and professors...research papers to be conquered, problems to be solved. But these days I'm no better than a schoolgirl with a crush, trying to reassure myself that the time apart from Edward can, and will be, productive.

"I had fun today," I tell him.

"So did I."

Outside the doors, Eleazar pulls up to the curb.

* * *

The twins are full of first day anecdotes. Even the more reserved Alistair is flushed and excited about the day's events. I listen to them babble, frequently interrupting each other.

They don't ask me about my day, which is probably good. It's private.

I help them sort through their books when we get home. There isn't much by way of homework, just two worksheets where they must talk about themselves. It's to be shared with their classes tomorrow.

After that, and Mrs. Cope's cookies and milk, they go to their rooms to relax. I go to mine, and take a much needed nap.

The next morning runs a little more smoothly. We're still groggy, but we're getting the routine down now, so there are less hiccups. Eleazar's eyes meet mine in the rearview.

"Same as yesterday?" he asks.

"Yes, please. But first, can we make a stop? I'd like to pick up something for breakfast."

Forty minutes later I march up to Edward's door with a warm bag. He looks tired today, his eyes underscored by faint smudges.

"Hi," he says with a yawn.

It's contagious, and I yawn, too. "Hi..."

"What'd you bring?" he asks sleepily, peering inside the bag.

"Oatmeal. From Whole Foods."

"Mm." He smiles. "Let's eat it in my bed; come on."

I follow him through the loft to his bedroom, where I kick off my shoes and join him in the mess of blankets and coziness atop his bed. We eat, chit chatting quietly, and then, afterward, when our bellies are full, sleepiness takes over and we fall asleep.

* * *

Xoxo


	55. Stripe

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**Story - Appease**_

_**Prompt - stripe**_

_**NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

When I wake up, I fumble for my phone, which is beside Edward's on his night stand.

Nearly twelve. We've been napping for hours; I guess I was more tired than I realized.

I feel good now, though. Rested. Yawning contentedly, I lean back against the pillows and watch the play of light In Edward's room. He's got these really dark drapes that probably keep all the light out, but they're not completely closed, so a stripe of light on either side slices across the room and over the bed.

Edward stirs, his foot nudging mine in sleep. I watch him as he turns his head toward me, one eye drifting open.

He smiles. "Hey."

"Hi." I turn on to my side, tucking my hands under my cheek.

"You're a sight for sore eyes," he says. "Especially first thing on the morning."

"It's almost noon," I say.

"It's morning somewhere," he murmurs, rubbing his face into the pillow.

I nod, closing my eyes. His bed is so comfortable. He sleeps sandwiched between two down bedspreads; it's like being cocooned in clouds.

Edward sits up, sipping a bottle of water by his side of the bed. I watch as he greedily drinks it, eyes closed as if in supplication. He looks down, catching me stare. "Want some?"

I shrug, leaning up on to my elbow. "I'll have a sip."

He hands it to me and I drink most of it, thirstier than I realized.

"Thanks." He smirks when I give it back. "A sip, huh?"

"Sorry," I say, stretching.

He puts the bottle down and rolls over so that we're touching, legs tangled. I stare up at him, seeing how good he looks in this artificially dim light.

Without another word he leans down and kisses me, maneuvering his way between my legs. Our bodies press together and then we're making out, kissing hard without preamble. This is the way it goes, I suppose, now that it's been established that we're together. He made me come...he made himself come with me...and now our bodies crave things only we can give them.

His hand runs from my knee to my thigh, squeezing lightly. He pushes his hips against mine, exhaling roughly against my mouth right as I feel his hard-on. Pausing, he looks down at me. His fingertips dance down between my breasts. He plays with the neckline.

"Did you wear this for me?" he asks, eyes traveling down the length of my dress.

"Yes," I whisper, touching his scruff.

He backs away a little, so that he's kneeling between my legs, and then lifts the hem of my dress up, up over my head. There are no buttons or zippers, and the material is light, so it comes off easily.

I shiver in the a/c, not that my dress did much to keep me any warmer.

Running his hands up my sides, he once again stretches himself out over me, kissing the new skin.

His mouth leaves me warm and when he reaches beneath my unfasten my bra, I burn.

For a second he just looks, blinking slowly, watching his own hands as they travel over my skin. He touches me gently, like I'm delicate, and then he kisses my breasts, one, and the other. Maybe it's nervousness, but his kisses make me giggle and he grins up at me.

"Your cheeks are pink," he tells me, right before his mouth closes over my nipple.

I hold his head, squirming beneath him, really liking what he's doing, but slightly nervous, too. There's still a little part of me that wonders how things will change once we do it. Sex doesn't seem to be of a deal to Edward, so maybe it'll be like always. But I think he knows it means something to me.

"Hey," he says quietly. "Bella..."

I look down at him, my fingers scratching lightly through his soft, soft hair. My nipples are cold and wet in the absence of his mouth.

"Where are you?" He laughs lightly, but he looks almost...confused.

"Here," I say, pulling him up so that I can kiss him. I'm good at that; we are.

He kisses me aggresively, filling my mouth with his tongue, pinning me to the bed with his body. I run my hands over his skin; his shoulders, the place where his lower back dips.

When he leaves my mouth, he goes for my neck, turning me to total goo. There are no words; he makes me inarticulate. This time, when he slides down my body, he takes my underwear with him.

It's going so fast now. My heart beats triple time; I've thought about this for weeks. I can't lie.

Weeks.

Since he kissed me at the party. Since before.

Last night, I knew. I snuggled down beneath my blankets and knew that if today came and Edward brought me to this point, I'd go willingly. He might be more vocal and obvious about his desires, but mine are just as strong.

I'm not expecting him to go down on me, though, and I squeal in surprise when he licks me, my legs clamping down around his ears. His eyes flicker up to mine, and he's grinning, like...like...he's eating ice cream.

"You don't have to," I lie, hoping he ignores me.

"I do. The way you smell makes me hard. Anyway, I was thinking about it all last night..."

I blush, deeply.

Edward slides a finger inside, kind of like yesterday, then another. I let go after that, losing myself to the feelings he's giving me. When I do come, it's fast and intense, shivering through me like an electrical shock. He's above me again, hovering, hand inching toward his night stand.

I watch him pull a condom out, and then I watch him put it on. Our eyes meet. There's nothing but need in his, and nothing but agreement in mine. He moves slowly and sinuously, settling down over me.

"Thank you," he says, whispering against my mouth as he starts to kiss me.

For a minute I can't respond, because my mouth is occupied, but when I can, I whisper back, "For what?"

"For trusting me," he says. "For giving this to me."

We kiss, and he slides inside.

So, it's been awhile, and while there are certain things you never forget, there are other things you kind of do. Like how full it makes you feel, and how it kind of stings for a second when he's first inside.

"Hold me," he says in to my ear, leaving little kisses along the side of my face.

I lift my hands from the pillow by my head and wrap them around his body, clutching his back, pulling him close. He thrusts harder, deeper, swallowing my kisses and moans with his mouth, affectionate and sexy.

I lift my hips, meeting him, and lock my ankles high around him.

And then he arches his back, his movements losing rhythm. He eyes flutter shut a couple times before he focuses on me. His lip trembles, and I reach up, rubbing my thumb over it.

He doesn't need to announce it; I can tell. I push against him, he pushes back, and then he's coming, gasping groans and grateful kisses.

I let him ease on to me, and we roll to our sides as he pulls out.

Across pillows we stare. It's crazy looking so honestly and earnestly at someone you just made love to, like your soul is indelibly imprinted with theirs. This is why I take it seriously...

"Talk to me," he whispers. "You're quiet."

"I'm...overwhelmed," I admit, realizing as I say it how true it is. A tear rolls down my cheek, and frowning, he stops it from falling.

"I..." He stops, staring at me.

"I really care about you. A lot. I...I haven't felt this way in a really long time," I say, caressing my knuckles over his cheek. "It was easy for me to...talk to you before, or to put you in your place when you acted up..."

He grins at that.

"But this is new territory for me."

"For me, too," he says.

I nod.

He traces his pinkie over my breast. "I like it, though."

"I'm sure you do," I laugh, catching his hand and holding it. "I do, too."

"I'm not going to lie. I've been thinking about getting inside since day one."

"I know," I say, rolling my eyes.

"I couldn't help it. You've got this whole..."

"Yeah, yeah. Girl next door...you told me."

"It's so hot, Bella." He's practically moaning. "I'm sorry..."

"No. If that's all I was to you, that would be one thing. But there's more."

"There's definitely more."

"I feel it too."

"Let's go take a shower so we can _feel it_ again," he says, pulling me up as he stands.

I'm about to make a snarky reply when he catches me in a bonecrushing hug, kissing me and hugging me close. We fool around like that for awhile, but eventually he starts adjusting himself. He's sticky.

"Do you have exfoliant?" I ask, following him in to the bathroom.

"Yeah, why?"

_Knew it! _"Just wondering."

* * *

**_*x-33 - Lights Out Asia_**


	56. Shoulder

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**Story - Appease**_

_**Prompt - shoulder**_

_**NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

"I have to go."

Edward's face is smashed in to my stomach, but he manages a nod. "Okay."

I almost don't want to go. The more time I spend with Edward, the more time I want to spend with Edward. It's a sweetly vicious cycle, indeed.

He works his way up my body and kisses me. "I have to do laundry, anyway."

"You do laundry?" I tease, cringing as his scruffy chin scratches my cheek. "_You_?"

"I did attend college," he jokes, pushing his semi against me.

I grab it, making him grunt and push harder. "I said I have to go."

"There's time..."

"There really isn't," I say, sighing. "And we already showered. Twice."

"Fine." He leans back, smiling lazily. Relaxed. "Can't blame me for trying."

"I can't," I agree.

We roll out of bed. I pull my dress back on and look around for my sandals, one of which is hidden partially beneath the bed. A quick look in the mirror reveals horrific hair, and grimacing, I work my fingers through it, trying desperately to fix it so it doesn't look like I just spent the day getting laid.

Edward appears behind me. His hair looks like mine, but it often looks like that so I doubt anyone would bat an eyelash. He drops a kiss on to my shoulder before resting his chin there. Our eyes lock in the mirror, and my heart skips a beat.

"I wish I could read your mind," he says.

I lift my hand hesitantly to his face, grazing his cheek. "What do you want to know?"

"What you really think about this," he says, suddenly so serious. "I see you, you know. When you think I'm...whatever. Half the time you look terrified."

"You're more observant than I gave you credit for," I murmur, turning my attention back to my hair. It's about as good as it's going to get, so with one last pat, I leave it alone.

"It's okay," he says, straightening. "I'm used to being underestimated."

"That's not okay," I say, turning around so that we're face to face.

"It is what it is."

"I don't want to be like everyone else in your life."

"You aren't."

I think about Alice, and how, despite her love for her brother, she expects the worst. And Tanya's scathing opinions. Even Mr. Masen, whom Edward says has a contingency plan in the event Edward squanders his money and tries to do the same with the company.

"Your mother believes in you," I say, taking his hand.

"Of course." He rolls his eyes, but he's grinning. "She's my _mother._"

We're quiet for a moment. I look at his mouth and think about how it feels against mine, how both giddy and whole I feel when he touches me. I want to kiss him over and over, but it's difficult to talk when your mouth is otherwise engaged.

"Sometimes I'm afraid that you've been so programmed to think you might fail, especially in relationships, that it could become a self-fulfilling prophecy. You think you have a roll to play, and even though what we have is different, the outcome could be the same. It doesn't have to be, but it could be."

He nods, his gaze somewhere over my head.

"But I'm ignoring that, and I'm trusting you now with my heart," I say, swallowing. "I know how trite that sounds... I assure you it's anything but."

His eyes are on mine now.

"I'll be honest with you, and I'll believe in you. Just...be the same for me. I think..." I want to look away, but I can't... "I think we could be great."

"I think we already are," he says, tilting my chin up. He kisses me, slowly.

* * *

Eleazar smiles at me as I slide in to the car. He pauses before closing the door, frowning.

"You might want to be a bit more discreet, Miss."

My heart drops to my feet. "I'm sorry?"

He motions to his neck. My hand shoots to mine. _Oh no..._

"I think we both know Mrs. Masen would disapprove," he says, not unkindly. The door closes, leaving me shaken. I grab a compact from my purse and look at my neck. Sure enough, there's a faint hickey on the skin right above my collar.

When Eleazar climbs in to the driver's seat up front, I clear my throat, stammering, "I hope that, um...this is okay. For you to drive me here. You don't have to, you know."

"Nonsense. It's my pleasure."

I have to say it. I can't stand not knowing. "It's not going to be a conflict of interest?"

Our eyes meet, as they so often do, in the rearview mirror. "Mrs. Masen is the lady of the house now, but I've known Edward since he was a child; I drove him and Alice to school every morning. Ms. Esme used to come along."

To say I'm shocked would be an understatement, and my surprise stems from a couple of things: one, that Eleazar knew _exactly _what I was referring to and two, that he's been around so long. I guess I assumed that the Masens switched drivers the way they do nannies, but now that I think about it, Mrs. Cope has been around forever, too.

"I didn't know that," I admit, wringing the fabric of my dress.

He smiles, giving a brief nod.

I gaze out the window, unsure of what is considered appropriate conversation here. "So...you knew this was Edward's place?"

"Of course." I swear he's smirking.

"Oh."

"As I said, be discreet. You should be fine."

He doesn't volunteer any additional information or advice, and I don't ask for anything. I know what I need to: that I can trust Eleazar.

* * *

I'm painting my toenails after dinner when there's a knock at the door.

"It's open," I call out.

Irina walks in, yawning.

"Hey, Rina. Why aren't you in bed?"

"Can't sleep."

"Can't sleep?" I echo. "Why not? Are you okay?"

She shrugs, sitting on the edge of my bed.

"What's wrong?"

"I wish it was still summer."

Sighing, I cap the nail polish and spread my toes. "I know what you mean. But aren't you glad to be back with your friends?"

"Audra goes to a different school now," she says. I don't know who that is, but I nod anyway because I know how that feels. "And Brandon kept making fun of me today. He kept pulling my braid and teasing me at lunch."

"Oh. Well...do you know why?"

She shrugs.

"Do you like him?"

She makes a face. "He's annoying and loud and he teases me all the time."

"Is he cute?"

"I guess."

Chuckling, I nod. "My mom used to tell me that, sometimes, boys tease the girls they like."

"Well, he's stupid," Irina says. "If he likes me then he should be nice."

"I agree."

"Does Edward make fun of you?" she whisper-demands, eyes flashing.

"Uh...sometimes. But not in a really mean way. He's just..."

"Being Edward."

"Right." I bite my lip, watching her. It's getting late. "Anyway, I wouldn't worry about Brandon. Boys are pretty clueless sometimes. And...you need to get to bed."

I walk her back to her room, which she's been complaining needs a new paint job because she's more in to purple now, and tuck her in again.

"Will you still be my nanny if you marry Edward?" she asks, staring up at me in the darkness.

"Oh. I don't...we're not getting married, Irina. We're just..." I shake my head, floundering. Damn books and romance movies...Irina is perpetually being carried off by the Prince Charmings of her imagination. "We're just hanging out right now. Okay?"

"Okay."

"And remember...keep it to yourself. No chatty Cathy stuff."

"I'm not," she cries, affronted.

"All right, all right." I kiss her forehead and give her ponytail a gentle yank. "Now good _night_."

* * *

In the morning Edward and I barely make it past the door before he's got me pressed up against it.

"The one day I want to do it against the door you're wearing pants," he whines.

"I like your bed."

"I like my bed, too, but I wanted to get carried away."

"Carried away should be spontaneous, shouldn't it?"

"Fine," he huffs, pulling me away from the door.

In the kitchen, there's a fruit platter spilling over with exotic looking fruit and little containers.

"Mm, what's this?"

"Well, I had to up the ante after yesterday's oatmeal."

"You're so competitive."

"I won you, didn't I?"

"Sure did. So...what it this?"

He rattles off the names of at least a dozen types of fruit, half of which I've never heard of. Containers of almond butter, Nutella, Biscoff, yogurt...it's total overkill. I can't wait.

"Where'd you get this? They delivered?"

"I had it made."

"By who?"

"Place downtown."

I look up at him, nibbling on a cherry. "I don't need fancy stuff, you know. I love it, but...I just...I love being with you."

"That's touching, but maybe_ I _love the fancy stuff," he says, but he's pink-cheeked as he draws me close.

I love kissing him.

"And anyway, if you think I'm bad now, wait'll your birthday."

"What d'you know about my birthday?"

"That it's in a few weeks...

"Who told you? Irina?"

"It's on Facebook, Ms. Poppins."

Later, in bed, I break away from his mouth. I know where we'll be in a couple of minutes, and I want to tell him before I forget.

"Eleazar totally knows, by the way."

"I know." He bites down on my nipple.

"Edward, ow." I knee him somewhere around his chest. "What do you mean, 'you know'?"

"Who do you think helped me keep tabs on you when you wouldn't even look at me?"

"Ugh, you were second hand stalking me. Creepy."

"Not creepy...concerned. It's a big city."

"I've lived here for years, and –"

"I've lived here way longer, and trust me, you need all the protection you can get."

"Yeah, protection from the likes of you," I whisper, wrapping my legs around him.

"Maybe I need protection from you," he counters, gazing down at me. "You could, after all, very easily seduce me and leave me for dead."

I give him a look.

"Metaphorically speaking, of course."

"Right," I say, sarcastic.

"I mean it."

"I'm not going to seduce you –"

"Too late."

"...and leave you for dead, Edward. Literally or metaphorically."

"I'll hold you to that."

"Good."

"Good."

He lowers down and licks his way in to my mouth, murmuring, "I don't take heartbreak well..."

"I don't think anyone does."

We kiss for a minute, getting worked up. He's got my panties half way down my legs when I frown, stopping him. "So wait, how could Eleazar be looking out for me when he was supposed to be driving your Dad or Tanya around?"

"My father has several drivers; Eleazar is just his most trusted...which is why he often has him drive the twins. Or Tanya. And now, you. As for Tanya...well. I think it's apparent she does her own thing. It's not like Eleazar sat around waiting while she was at her appointments, not if he had something else that needed to be done."

"Like stalking me and the kids."

"Exactly." He smiles brightly, giving my underwear a little tug. "Can I have these now?"

"As long as you give them back at some point."

"Maybe I will, maybe I won't."

* * *

_**so, i love the theories. some of you are right on, or at least close, and some...not so much. ha, but it's all good! maybe i'll write a fanfic of this fan fic, complete with alternate and/or parallel universes. either way, thank you so much for reading an deputing up with my "literary" shenanigans. **_

_***Between Sheets - Imogen Heap**_


	57. Field

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**Story - Appease**_

_**Prompt - field**_

_**NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

Saturday feels like old times.

"Old times" being summer. Alice and I take the twins to a matinee down town and then to Central Park, where they ride the carousel and goof around on one of the playgrounds.

I receive yet another text from Edward, lamenting that he's not here with us. Instead, he's holed up with his father in the office, discussing everything from stocks to course loads.

"I don't know why he couldn't have met him over the week," Alice comments, glancing down at my phone. Edward's been texting me for a while now, so she caught on quickly. "It's not like he's had anything else going on...he's been doing nothing, just waiting for school to start."

_Doing nothing, indeed. _I blush and squint in to the sunlight. The children are dancing shadows, darting around the trees and playground structures.

"Have you seen him?" presses Alice.

Sighing, I turn to look at her. "You'd be a good lawyer, you know that? Asking questions you know the answers to."

She smirks, examining her nails. "I've heard that, actually. Law doesn't interest me though." She looks up. "Not like relationships do."

I shake my head a little, smiling. "Yeah, we hung out this week."

"A lot?"

I nod.

"No wonder he's been so relaxed lately," she muses, lying back on our blanket. "He's been clubbing and bar-hopping since he got his first fake ID at sixteen...but not lately."

I want to say it's because he's too tired, because we're on the phone or online late at night...stripping each other's clothes off early morning...and eating and talking and making out and having sex until I leave to pick up the kids. I'm sore, and not just between my legs. My mouth feels raw from the...creative ways we've been kissing. My eyes are sandpapery from a lack of sleep. My thighs hurt from...well.

"I should take up yoga," I say, randomly, my mouth picking up where my brain left off.

Alice cackles, rolling on to her stomach. "Please tell me that comment had nothing to do with Edward." She groans when I stay silent. "Oh my God, it totally did. Bella Poppins my ass."

"Shush, Alice. You're worse that he is. And Irina. Combined."

"Are you happy, though?"

"Yes," I whisper.

"Good. I'm glad he's treating you well." She sits up, folding her legs. "I'm glad to have been wrong."

"Me too."

She looks sharply at me. "You understand why I warned you, though, right? And why I had to warn him?"

"Of course I do," I say, meeting her gaze. "Some things are too powerful to ignore, though. Believe me, I tried to avoid it. I really did." I frown, swallowing. "But after awhile I was tired of fighting it. And now, I'm in way too deep. I couldn't leave him if I tried."

"Have you told him how you feel?" she asks gently.

Nodding, I sweep my hair back in to a loose knot at the nape of my neck.

"I must say, I didn't imagine Edward settling down this soon. I'm glad, though."

"Settling down?" I chuckle. "You really are like your little sister. I'm dating Edward, not marrying him."

"You just said you couldn't leave him if you tried," Alice points out. "What does that say? We both know he's stopped playing the field to be with you...so it sounds pretty serious to me. On both ends."

She's totally right, of course. It makes me sick with nervousness and alight with excitement, all in one. "It's happened so fast," I say. "Too fast, almost."

"I feel like true love often does," Alice says. "And before you say anything about that, yes, beneath this feisty exterior I'm utterly and hopelessly romantic. Who do you think got Irina in to fairy tales? Wasn't her mother, that's for damn sure." She grins and looks out at the playground, where Irina is hanging upside-down, t-shirt tucked into her pink shorts. A boy her age runs by, and she eases down to watch him. Suddenly he doubles back, and they start to bicker.

I stand up, brushing grass from my jeans, ready to intervene if this towheaded little brat messes with my girl. But she simply shoves him, yelling, "Kiss my butt, Brandon!" before flouncing away in a

blur of ribbons and dust.

Alice snorts, and even I have to admit it was pretty funny.

Poor kid. I should tell Irina that pushing Brandon away will only make him want her more.

* * *

"So...the Mr. and Mrs. went out to dinner."

"I know," Edward groans, his sigh audible even over the phone. "My father mentioned it when he was leaving earlier. Sucks."

"I know," I say. "Maybe...tomorrow?"

We'd had tentative plans to grab a late dinner somewhere once I was off the clock, but now I'm stuck at the penthouse. At least I got to spend time with Alistair and Irina. It's amazing how quickly the two of them have ingratiated themselves in to my life. They've been back to school just one week and already my life has felt completely different.

Not that spending time with their older brother has been bad.

"Yeah, let's try for that. You taking the twins out?"

"I can if you want...I hadn't really thought about it."

"Bring them by my Mom's...let them go swimming before it gets cold."

"Okay," I agree. "A swim sounds good. It would be great right about now."

"Don't tease," he says. "I'll have to beat off in the shower."

"You'll have to anyway."

"You're right, as usual."

"So what are you going to do?" I ask, standing up so that I can peek out my window. Full moon tonight; clear sky.

"Now? I don't know..."

"You're not going out?"

He's quiet for a minute. "I wasn't planning on it. Why?"

"Just wondering."

"Bella, you're never just wondering."

"I just wish I could be with you right now," I admit, a little sheepish.

"Me too," he says. "More than you know."

* * *

After a Sunday morning brunch with both Mr. and Mrs. Masen, I take the children out. Eleazar is otherwise engaged, and I don't trust or really know any of the other drivers enough to ask, so the twins and I cab it to Esme's brownstone.

Alice can't come, but Edward arrives soon after we do. It's the first time I've seen Esme since Edward and I stopped playing games, and she's obviously delighted at our delicate attempts at "public" togetherness. Besides Edward's loft, we haven't really tried to "be" anyplace else.

"Hold on," Edward says, motioning for his mother to take the twins outside.

I look questioningly at him. "You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah." He runs his hands through his hair. "Don't get mad, okay?"

My heart jumps around a little. "Why? What?"

"I made plans for your birthday," he says. "Can you get that night off? And maybe the next day?"

"I'm sure I can," I say, nodding. "Why would I be mad about that?"

"I don't know. You don't seem to like surprises...or when I do stuff for you."

"That's not true," I say, smacking his chest playfully. "I just don't want you to try and buy my affection."

He nods, smirking. "Got it."

"Okay..." I turn toward the French doors. "Was that it?"

"That was it." He has my curiosity piqued and he knows it. Now all I'll be able to think about for the next two weeks is my birthday.

As for right now, though, it's a perfect day. We splash around in the tiny pool for hours, playing and soaking up the sun. Edward does inappropriate things to me underwater, and I retaliate when I can, trying to keep things PG on the surface.

He corners me in the guest bathroom right before we leave.

"Have you ever seen my bedroom?" he asks, kissing my neck.

"Uh, yes. All the time."

"Not that one...the one upstairs."

"No..."

"We should do dirty things to it."

"I'm sure you've done that all by yourself," I whisper-giggle, holding his face still so we can kiss properly.

"Alice is house sitting next month. Maybe then."

"Maybe then..."

Back at the Dakota, things are quiet. Neither of the Masens are home, and even Mrs. Cope is off. Neither Alistair nor Irina look disappointed or even surprised by this, and that saddens me. It means it happens all the time, and I wonder how they've become such an afterthought in the lives of their parents. If maybe, they always have been.

* * *

I have a case of the Mondays. Really, really bad.

Groggy and unmotivated, I do my best not to mope through our morning ritual. It sucks knowing there will be no Edward after dropping the kids off today. I do, however, have a very loaded day of classes ahead. In fact, if it wasn't for picking up the children, I'd probably be in class all then, too, but as it is, I've scheduled around them.

By eleven, my mood is better. I'm too busy to be down, and I'm seeing old friends and former classmates left and right. I even have a class with a professor I loved last year.

Edward and I message each other here and there, silly texts about stupid things. I finally call him when Eleazar picks me up.

"You on your way to Dwight?" he asks.

"Yeah; just got in the car."

"Lucky. I'm busy all day."

"I'm busy all day, too," I laugh. "Just not in the same way as you. I'll be doing homework right along with the twins tonight."

"Yeah, that's true," he says. "Well...I have to run. I really just wanted to hear your voice."

"Oh, okay. I guess...I'll see you later?"

"Definitely."

We mean it when we say it, but it's a crazy busy week. As things are, I don't see Edward until Friday night, when he's exhausted and so am I. He dozes off during the movie and I have to wake him up when it finishes and people are filing out of the theater.

"Shit," he yawns. "What'd I miss?"

"Not much. It was kind of boring."

"Sorry," he says, grimacing. "I was so tired...did you want me to take you home?"

"Yeah," I say, squeezing his hand.

His face falls, but he nods.

I put my mouth to his ear, forcing him to pause in the aisle. "But I want you to take me to _your_ home."

"And that is why I think I love you," he jokes, tugging me along.

My chest tightens. He glances back, frowning, stopping again. "I shouldn't have said that."

"No, I..." I stammer, shaking my head, but he holds my face between his hands.

"I mean I shouldn't have said it like that. But I think I really do, Ms. Poppins."

* * *

_**sighs dreamily**_


	58. Water

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**Story - Appease**_

_**Prompt - water, daughter**_

_**NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

"Tanya? May I speak to you for a moment?"

Pausing right outside the door to her bedroom, my employer nods. "Is everything all right?"

"Yes, everything's fine. I, ah...I wondered if you might consider giving me time off for my birthday. It'll be my twenty first, and a close friend wanted to do something special for me."

Tanya looks down at the phone in her hand, quickly punching a few buttons. "That should be okay. What day?"

"The thirteenth. It's a Thursday...but my plans are for Friday night, tentatively."

"That's fine. You can take the Saturday off as well, I suppose."

"Are you sure?" I blurt, relieved. "The twins –"

"The twins will be fine," she says. "And you're letting me know in advance, which I appreciate."

"Oh. Okay. Thanks, Tanya."

She smiles briefly and disappears in to her room, closing the door with a quiet snick. I go to my own room, dialing the moment I hit the bathroom.

"Hey, Bella," Edward answers, sounding vaguely distracted. I have his schedule on my phone, so I know he's just coming off of a break. It's the midway point during one of his evening classes, a three hour finance course he absolutely loathes but must take.

"Hey. I won't keep you long, just wanted to let you know I got Friday and Saturday off."

"No kidding? Nice."

"Yeah. So...I mean, obviously we'll be in class during the day but the night is yours."

"Yours, you mean."

"Right. Ours, even." I smirk at my reflection, at the flushed, slightly rumpled Bella in the mirror. Apparently Edward brings this side of me out. I remember this me... "Anyway, go. I'll talk to you later."

We hang up. I lean down in to the tub and turn the water on for a bath, deciding to indulge a little. Normally, I'm busy enough with the kids and school that I stick to showers, but tonight I have time. Alistair and Irina are tucked away in their rooms, reading, and my own studies are complete for the night.

It's a great bathroom, I must admit. Large, frosted windows letting in scores of soft light during the day, and a huge, sunken tub just made for soaking. It's one of the things I'd certainly miss if I switched to the dorms.

And, obviously, there are a few other things I'd miss as well, Irina and Alistair being the most important. As their nanny, I'd still see them all the time, but I have to admit there's something significant about being needed they way _they_ need me. If things were perfect, I'd be nothing more than a helper for the Masens, a pinch hitter who could swoop in when they really needed me. But that's not the case at all. No one would ever come out and say it, but the twins are more like my son and daughter than the are my charges. Like Edward, they flitter through my thoughts during the day, memories of things they said or ideas of things we can do. I consider them when making plans, even personal ones, and the littlest things remind me of them. When Eleazar and I go to pick them up from Dwight, my chest both tightens and expands when they come in to view, familiar faces emerging from a sea of uniformed children.

Yes, they've definitely become a much bigger part of my life than I ever, _ever_ expected. I've always cared for the children I've watched, and I've always gotten along with the families. Along with being extremely professional, it's why I've been recommended amongst this inner circle of society wives and mothers.

But here, I have lost a lot of that professionalism. It's like I couldn't maintain the same level of it, not with my heart tugging me in so many different directions. Never before have two children drawn me so close, accepted me and confided in me. Never have I bonded with the older siblings.

And never, ever, have I fallen in love with a member of the family.

Thank God Edward doesn't live here. Things don't need to be anymore tawdry than they already are. I can almost imagine him sneaking in to my room at all hours, groping me in the pantry...and I'd like it.

* * *

On Thursday morning, Mrs. Cope makes me a breakfast of crepes and fresh fruit. She and the twins regale me with a silly, hushed rendition of Happy Birthday, and then we rush off.

Right as the twins climb out of the car, Alistair turns and hands me an envelope.

"Irina!" he calls.

She stops, staring blankly at him before her eyes widen. She digs in to her backpack and hands me another envelope, and then they're gone.

There's a lump in my throat, and I haven't even opened the envelopes. As we pull slowly away from the curb, I watch as the crowd entering Dwight absorbs Irina and Alistair before turning my attention to their little gifts, handmade birthday cards full of drawings and happy wishes.

I'll fight to stay with them if I have to.

When we return home later in the afternoon, there's an enormous bouquet of pink tulips waiting in my room, along with a box of Jacque Torres champagne truffles. There are no notes or cards, but it's obvious who they are from.

I send Edward a thank you text, not sure of what class he's in without checking the schedule, and proceed to taste a chocolate. It's divine, of course. I'll be sharing them with the twins...at this rate I'll be more Doubtfire than Poppins if I eat all the things Edward gives me.

There are voicemails and emails from both of my parents, so I call them back and chat for awhile, catching up. I chat more often with Renee, but my conversations with Charlie tend to be longer. Facebook yields another explosion of birthday wishes, and for awhile I sit and bask in it, chatting with various friends.

All the while I wonder what Edward has planned for me. I can't remember the last time someone made a big deal out of my birthday, and when I step back and look at where life has brought me, it's amazing that it's him.

* * *

Friday comes. Tanya sends the children to the Hamptons for the weekend, to their grandparents. This makes me so happy, because I know how much they adore that lifestyle. The weather has begun to cool, so it'll be different than it was during our vacation, but they'll still be able to use the telescope and make s'mores.

I take a cab to Edward's, not wanting to arouse any suspicion. Tanya's been in and out of the penthouse since we got back from school, and I have no idea what her plans are, if she and Mr. Masen are going to enjoy a quiet evening, or if they're going out. Or if he's even home, or if she's going out. Honestly, anything's possible.

Edward meets me downstairs, in front of his building.

"Hi." His eyes run the length of me, stopping only when they meet mine. "I like this."

He's talking about my dress. It's new, soft pink. I wanted something special for tonight...he makes me want to feel pretty. I start to go toward the door, but he leads me away, to his car. It's been a while since we took it out, and I'm glad to see it. It reminds me of the very beginning, when he was always trying to impress me.

We end up at the Waldorf-Astoria.

"Are you kidding me?" I laugh, shaking my head as we pull up to where a valet awaits.

"Your twenty first is a big deal, Bella," he says, getting out.

We don't make it past the lobby, though. Edward has our overnight bags brought up to our room –I can't _wait_ to see that later –and then we're outside again, catching a cab.

"Hope you don't mind," he says, as one stops for us. "I want to go for a drive tomorrow, but tonight we'll be drinking..."

"It's fine," I assure him. "I'm more interested in where we're going than how we get there. You didn't have to do this."

"I wanted tonight to be memorable," he says, kissing me. "I wanted to do something completely different."

"You already have," I whisper, swallowing back the stupid lump in my throat that's been appearing more and more lately. "Everything about you... is different."

The address Edward gives the cabbie brings us to Nobu, a restaurant I've heard of but never been to. We eat salmon tartar and various sashimi dishes, and the chocolate Bento Box for dessert.

It's also the first time I drink alcohol. I'm almost nervous, which is ridiculous, I know...but...it's been such a long time I've waited and I really don't know what to expect. I am the only person I know who has chosen to abstain so wholeheartedly, to the point where I'm used to being a novelty among friends. Now, here with Edward, I'm glad I have. It's another thing that will make tonight special. Memorable.

Edward knows his wine, so he orders a bottle of _Riesling._

"It's sweet...I think you'll like it," he says. He's right.

I don't get tipsy as much as I feel lit up from the onside, warm and effervescent. I'm also really, really in the mood, and when we step out of the restaurant, I'm seconds away from begging him to take me back to our hotel. I can already imagine the bed...

But for once, Edward has other plans. "There's someplace else I'd like to go," he says, hesitant. "If you want to. It's this place Alice and I found a couple of years ago...we go with our friends all the time." He pauses, shrugging. "Well, I _used_ to go all the time..."

"Sure," I say, nodding. Generally, the thought of being around his friends makes me anxious, but tonight I feel untouchable. It could be the wine, or the fact that it's my birthday, but...now that he's mentioned it, I want to go out.

"Yeah?" He cocks his head, grinning. "I like you like this."

"Like how?"

"Relaxed." He slides his arms around my waist and dips down, kissing the corner of my mouth. "Happy."

Mad46 Rooftop Lounge is crowded when we arrive, but Alice and a couple of her friends are holding down a cabana. It's breathtaking being this high up, outside in the crisp night air, surrounded by city lights.

Alice is already a little tipsy; she squeals when she sees me and gives me a hug, whispering overjoyed little _happy birthday!_s repeatedly. Victoria and James show up soon after, and pretty soon the champagne is flowing. I love it, even more than I did the Riesling.

It loosens me up, and eventually I just kiss Edward, whose lap I'm sitting on. His friends cheer us on, and when we finally part, I gaze down at him in wonder.

"I love you," I say, barely louder than a movement of lips.

"Tell me when you're sober," he says, eyes twinkling. He rubs his thumbs over my cheek.

"I will," I say, and I mean it.

* * *

The Waldorf-Astoria is a pretty princess fairy tale come true; I can't help but think of Irina. She'd love this place, with its gilded opulence.

"I cannot believe this place," I murmur, as Edward leads me to our room on the forty fifth floor. "It's gorgeous..."

"I know," he says smugly, stopping outside a door.

He leans down to kiss me, and I kiss him back, glad we'll finally be alone. I have butterflies just thinking of what we'll do...and I want to tell him I love him. Over and over. As we open the door and step inside, a muffled giggle wafts down the hall. It's a flirty giggle... a lover's giggle. It's impossible _not_ to look.

"Holy shit," Edward mutters from behind me.

The giggling lover glances back at us as she's pulled in to a room just feet away. Her laughter evaporates when she sees us, even as the man she's with calls her name.

I have never seen Tanya look as shocked and caught as she does right now.

And I've never seen her as happy as she was just a second ago.

* * *

_**oh, snap.**_

_***Skin of the Night - M83**_

_**thanks for reviewing, dear lovers. your messages are like little word-gifts.**_


	59. Disdain

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**Story - Appease**_

_**Prompt - disdain**_

_**NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

The guy Tanya's with calls her name again before popping up beside her.

I gasp involuntarily, clapping my hands over my mouth. It's Laurent, the Belgian Pilates instructor who comes to the penthouse to give her lessons. He's handsome, tall, and olive complected. And he's definitely not Mr. Masen.

He takes one look at Edward and me before disappearing again. Behind me, Edward shifts, his hand coming to rest on my hip. Guess there's no point in pretending; we are, after all, standing in the doorway of a hotel suite at one in the morning.

"Well, don't let us stop you, Mrs. Masen," he says, almost jovially. "What happens at the Waldorf, stays at the Waldorf."

Tanya blinks. Her lips thin in disdain and she spins around, slamming the door.

I follow Edward in to out room, shell shocked and sobered. "I...can't believe that just happened."

"Neither can, and not much surprises me these days." He kicks off his shoes and runs his hands through his hair. "Cheating, lying whore..."

My mind whirls with all of the potential ways this could blow up. The fall out could be really messy.

Perching on the couch in the front room, I close my eyes as they fill with tears. "Edward, what if I lose my job?"

"I'll take care of you."

"That's not what I want!" I cry. "It's not just about money!" I pause, shaking my head. "The kids will freak out...especially Alistair. He thinks I'm just one in a long line of people who leave him...And then, my reputation is shot...Tanya will make up something to make herself look good..."

Edward sinks down beside me. "None of that is going to happen. I won't let it."

"You have no control over this."

"Yes, I do."

I look at him, rubbing my eyes.

"We have leverage here, Bella. If she does _anything_, I'll tell my father what we saw tonight." He shrugs, settling back. "I'll tell him what she tried to do back in the day, too."

"I...we can't do that."

"You might be above blackmail, Bella Poppins, but I sure as hell am not. She wants to play hardball?" He chuckles darkly. "I'll be her worst nightmare."

I bite my lip, watching him. I'm still a little freaked out, obviously, but his words help. Maybe he's right, and for once I need to let someone else take care of me. I'm so used to being in charge of my world, and it's difficult knowing that I'll have to share the reins.

I know that Edward will stay by my side, at least. I don't know what I'd do if I lost him as well as my job. My entire world would change.

Amazing how this has _become _my world.

"Do you trust me?" he asks, as if he's read my mind. He takes my hands in to his.

"Yes." It's automatic; I do.

"Then don't worry. Let's deal with this tomorrow."

"That sounds good...but I don't know how."

"Because you're a worrier."

"Basically."

He nods, standing, and pulls me to my feet. Without another word, he walks to the bathroom, where there is a huge, beautiful tub, rose petals and buckets of champagne.

"Edward..." I cover my face, unable to keep the unladylike snort in. "You're such a charmer. What is all this?"

"Come on...girls love stuff like this. Alice gave me a few pointers."

"Oh, Alice, huh? Riiiight." I peer up at him, teasing.

"What?" His mouth drops open, almost comically. "You think I do this for all the girls? What are you, crazy?"

I tug him closer, and then stand on tip toe to kiss him. He tastes like the champagne we had at Mad46, making me thirsty for more. "Can we open that?" I ask, pointing to the silver bucket.

"Why do you think I had it brought up?"

I grin, sitting on the edge of the tub as he turns the faucet on. The petals rise as the water does, and I slip my shoes off, wanting to get comfortable. Needing to.

Edward leaves the bathroom, and returns with two robes. He pours two glasses of champagne and sets them aside.

"I'm not giving you any until you're in the tub."

"I was wrong; you're not a charmer. You're a seducer."

"I've enjoyed seducing you, it's true."

"If I get in the tub, you have to get in too..."

He grins devilishly and begins unbuttoning his shirt. So I stand up and unzip my dress, taking care to pull it off slowly. It's new, and unlike some people in the room, I can't just get a new one that easily if I mess this one up.

He tries gallantly to keep his eyes on mine, but in the end, he's a guy and guys love breasts. He runs a finger down the center of my chest, and then pulls on the sides of my my underwear, urging them down.

"I'm so glad you let me in," he murmurs, straightening up. "I didn't think you would."

"I didn't think I would, either," I admit, kissing him. "But you're convincing."

We step in to the tub, which is almost too hot. It takes some adjustment, but it feels –and smells –great.

Edward hands me my glass of champagne.

"I meant it, just so you know."

"Meant what?" He smirks at his glass, glancing at me for just a second.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

"I...know." I'm sure I'm blushing, but it doesn't matter anymore. If we love each other, truly, we're going to see the worst as well as the best of each other. "Have you ever...before?"

"I suppose I thought I was once or twice, but...it didn't feel like this."

"What does this feel like?"

"You tell me," he laughs. "You just said you loved me."

I roll my eyes at his deflection. "Edward."

"It feels like you come first." His eyes soften, and he's so serious. "And _that_ is a first. For me."

"For me it feels like a loss of control." I ripple my fingers through the warm water. "Like for once I'm just letting feelings happen instead of trying to control them."

He sips his champagne, reminding me that I haven't tried mine yet. It's super bubbly, and not quite as sweet as what we had earlier. I might prefer it, and I tell him.

"It's better stuff," he affirms, nodding. "Dryer."

Our toes canoodle under the water as we sip and chat, and pretty soon the warm giddiness is back,

And it's not just the alcohol, or the bubbles...or the roses or the room or the luxury.

It's him.

It's different tonight, all-consuming and ardent.

We're still damp from our bath when we slip between the sheets, and we warm each other up with our bodies.

He promises me things will be fine, and I believe him. I have to. The alternate is too depressing to consider.

In the morning, as I wake up, I realize that this is the first time we've been able to do this. No dashing off, no reluctant goodbyes. No watching the clock or rushed showers.

Turning my face, I meet Edward's sleepy gaze. He reaches out, brushing my hair over my shoulder.

"Have you been awake long?" I rasp, trying not to yawn in his face.

"Just a little while."

I nod sleepily, my eyes fluttering shut. A moment later I feel his lips on the back of my neck. His kisses follow the sheet as it slides down my back, culminating in one on each butt cheek.

"I never took you for an ass kisser," I mumble, grinning in to the pillow.

He bites me, and I flip over, swatting at his messy head. "Behave..."

He turns me back on to my stomach, tickling me, and I scoot away, only to have him yank me back. "As if you can outrun me..." He kisses my neck, sucking lightly, and reaches down, sliding his fingers between my legs. "Ever."

"Mm..."

He keeps kissing and touching me until I'm squirming back against him, and then he enters me, keeping me flat on the bed. It's intense, and, even though I can't see his face, very intimate.

We don't last long. We're still both so tired after last night's love.

I try my best to keep thoughts of the upcoming storm at bay. It's like we're in this insulated little bubble here.

I wish we never had to leave.

* * *

_**sorry so late. busy day, busy baby**_

_**btw, lauren, famouslyso over on twitter, made me the best banner for Appease ;) i tweeted it earlier, plus it's my new twitter background. i also posted it on my FB group's page. and there's a little version up there, at the top of this page.**_


	60. Clutter

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**Story - Appease**_

_**Prompt - clutter**_

_**NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

The charade is over, so Edward walks me to the door.

The doorman knows him, of course, giving him a grin and a wave as we walk past on our way to the elevator.

I'm a jumble of mixed feelings; high off of a wonderful couple of days with Edward, nervous about what tomorrow, and maybe even tonight, might bring. My heart flutters with every floor we climb.

"You're okay," mutters Edward, squeezing my fingers as we walk down the hall. "I won't come in, obviously, but I'm just a phone call away. Okay?"

I nod, taking my bag from him. He kisses my cheek, and then my mouth, lingering.

"Thank you for this weekend. It was perfect." I laugh nervously. "Almost."

He steps back, hands in his pockets. "Call me later."

"I will."

He waits until I've opened the door, and then I watch him retreat nonchalantly down the hall, as if everything's the same.

Inside, things are quiet, but not silent. Classical music tickles by faintly, reminding me of my first visits. The mouth watering smell of Mrs. Cope's cooking wafts under my nose, reminding me that I haven't eaten since lunch, when Edward and I went to Junior's in Brooklyn.

_Inhale, exhale. Shoulders straight. I'm Bella Swan/Poppins, super-nanny extraordinaire, practically perfect in every way. Defender of sweet children and lover of hot, preppy boyfriends. Slayer of cuckolding Botox-bitches..._

"Oh, you're back," Mrs. Cope says, wiping her hands on a dish towel as I join her in the kitchen. She's a welcome sight, smiling and flour-dusted amongst cooking clutter and yummy ingredients. "I wasn't sure what time...we usually don't eat so late, but..."

"Do you know what time the twins are due?" I ask, giving her shoulder an affectionate pat.

"They should be here already; Eleazar left to pick them up a couple of hours ago."

I glance at the clock over the stove; it's nearly eight. "Are, uh...Mr. And Mrs. Masen home?"

"Yes, dear."

"Oh. Okay, well, I'm going to go freshen up..."

Mrs. Cope nods and returns to her cooking.

Despite my ongoing inner battle cries, I find myself walking on pins and needles as I approach my room. I really don't want to see Tanya, don't want to look in to her eyes and have the memory of _that moment_ pass between us. I remember Edward saying, way back, that his stepmother was a snake, and I feel it now more than ever. I don't know if she's going to retreat, or if she's poised to strike. It's awful.

I take a quick shower, and by the time I'm done, the twins have returned. Their laughter and loudness echoes through the penthouse, followed by the more subdued responses of who I assume are their parents. I pull on jeans, socks and a thermal, and then I charge right on out, unable to bear the not knowing.

"Bella!" Irina cries, practically sprinting toward me. I catch her in a hug. Alistair grins and waves, not exuberant like his sister, but glad to see me nonetheless. I carefully avoid Tanya's face, instead giving Mr. Masen a gentle smile.

"How are you?" I ask, perfected calmness belying the turmoil in my gut.

"I'm well, thank you, Bella. How was your birthday? I trust you enjoyed yourself?"

My eyes flit to Tanya's on their own accord. "I...yes. It was...exciting." I don't know what's gotten in to me. I'm letting Edward handle this, really, but something in me is reacting to the subtle challenge in Tanya's expression. She narrows her eyes, and then looks away, folding her arms.

"I'll bet. Manhattan is...yes. It's an exciting place," Mr. Masen says. He's so cheesy sometimes; it's amusing.

Mrs. Cope ushers us in to the dining room, where a magnificent spread of roasted chicken, mashed potatoes and vegetables awaits. Freshly baked bread, fruit salad...it looks like Thanksgiving, but it's a typical weekend meal here, especially when both the Masens are around.

I chat mostly with Alistair and Irina, asking about their weekend in the Hamptons.

"I wanted to stay another day," Alistair says, poking at his carrots. "To see if the sky would clear up enough for me to do some more star gazing, but it never did."

"We can try again tonight," I offer.

"You know the lights here suck," he scoffs.

"Alistair, really," Tanya snaps. "Language."

I try not to choke on the hypocrisy of what she perceives as inappropriate.

"Sorry," he mutters. "The lights are really, really bad." His sarcasm is just under the radar enough to elicit no reaction but a smile from his father. The man misses nothing.

How does he not know his wife is cheating? Maybe he's unfaithful, too.

My food churns in my stomach. I put my fork down and wipe my mouth, suddenly full.

* * *

For the next few days, all is quiet.

I go to school, keep my nose in books, and take care of the twins. Edward and I talk every night, but we decide to wait on dates or visits. Just until we know what's going on.

I almost never see Tanya, and when I do, she ignores me so completely that it's as if I don't even exist. I go through each day on tenterhooks, waiting for the inevitable.

It comes on Thursday night. I've just finished helping Alistair with his math homework when Tanya comes to the bedroom door.

"A word please, Bella. When you're finished."

"Sure." My heart begins to pound in earnest. "Okay, buddy. Just... I guess take your shower and I'll be back to tuck you guys in." _I hope._

I follow Tanya down the unusually dim hallway, in to the room we sat in when she first hired me. She closes the door softly, motioning for me to have a seat.

I sit, bracing myself for her ire and threats, but they never come. Instead, she's perfectly impassive, sinking down in to the chair across from me, legs crossed primly, hands clasped over her knee.

"I think we both know why we're here," she begins.

"Yes."

"Then it is obvious why this cannot continue."

"Why what can't continue?" I ask, even though I know.

"Your employment here." She cocks her head. "But I can arrange for an interview with a friend. No guarantees, of course, but...given the situation..."

I stare blankly at her, my breath coming in shallow huffs.

"All right." She moves as if to stand.

"No. No, that's not all right."

"Excuse me?"

"I said, it's not all right. I have been nothing but professional—"

She laughs incredulously. "You're sleeping with my husband's son, Bella. I hardly find that professional."

I want _so_ badly to throw in her face what she tried to do and is currently doing, but it would do nothing but make things worse. "I wasn't aware that my relationships outside of work were of any consequence to you or this job," I say. It's a lie. I knew she'd have issues, but technically what I'm saying is true. "Anyway, I'm passionate about this job. It's a good fit for me, and I'm a good fit for the children. I don't think it's fair to keep on switching their caregivers –"

"My children are no longer any of your concern," she snaps. Always in denial when it comes to the twins.

"Why exactly are you letting me go?" I ask.

"I'm sure you know."

"I want you to tell me," I say, trying to keep my voice level.

She purses her lips. "Fraternizing."

"What about your fraternizing?" I blurt out, my hands shaking.

"You impertinent little bitch." She turns bright red, as if my words surprise her. "You may leave in the morning."

There's a huge crash right outside the room, and the door vibrates violently as if something just hit it.

We jump to our feet, but I'm the first one out. Pieces of glass and plastic litter the floor. A door slams elsewhere. I squint around, confused and startled. At the end of the hall, Irina switches on the light.

That's when I recognize the mess for what it is: Alistair's telescope.

Tanya curses softly behind me. "What is this?" she shrieks, sweeping her hand over the floor. "Alistair!"

But Irina's face is pinched and white. I pick my way over to her, holding my hand out.

"What happened?"

"Alistair heard you," she whispers, eyes glassy.

"He heard me and your mom?" I ask, biting my lip.

She nods, eyes darting between myself and Tanya, who has followed me to Irina's doorway. She shoves past me and goes to Alistair's room, then turns, scowling.

"Where is your brother?" she asks.

"He left."

"What do you mean, 'he left'?"

"He ran away," sobs Irina, her tears spilling over.

It's all I need to hear. I'm down the hall and out the front door before Tanya can say anything, patting my pocket to make sure my cell phone is still there. The elevator takes forever, but it's still faster than hoofing it, so I wait.

Trembling, I hit #1 on the touchscreen of my phone, which is Edward. It goes to his voicemail. I don't leave a message; he'll see soon enough that I called.

The elevator finally comes, and I ride down to the first floor, praying. Felix is in the lobby, looking outside at the street.

"Is he here? Alistair? Did he come by?" I gasp, already out of breath.

"Yes...he came down so quickly I hardly had a chance to react before he was gone." He grimaces apologetically. "I'm so sorry. I've already called up to the penthouse."

"It's okay." I rush outside. It's fall, and the days are markedly shorter already. Cars pass; a couple is walking their dog down the sidewalk. Across the street, the darkening silhouettes of Central Park loom like shadowy sentries.

Going on instinct, I cross the street and jog into the Park.

He could be anywhere, any number of playgrounds, nooks and crannies. The carousel. Food kiosks. It's so vast. We used to play hide n' seek, all throughout the summer. Stifling a sob of my own, I call his name. I remember that he has a phone, so I call it, but he doesn't answer.

I knew he'd freak out if I left, but I had no idea it would be like this. Why was he listening at the door anyway? It makes me wonder how many other conversations he's eavesdropped on. What other secrets he's privy to.

My phone rings in my hand; Edward.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Bella."

"Alistair ran off!"

"What? Where are you? Are you home?"

"I'm in Central Park, right near that one kiosk? With the coffee?"

"What...okay. I'm coming."

"Edward, she tried to fire me. I mean, she _did_ fire me. Alistair heard us and...oh my God. Why would he do this?"

"I _knew_ I should have spoken to her," he says. "I knew it. I should have let her know the deal, but I didn't...because I thought she knew better. I can't believe it." Doors open and slam in the background, like he's leaving his loft, maybe.

"Call me when you're here," I say, unable to bear his guilty rambling. "I need to keep looking."

No sooner do we hang up, my phone rings again. Tanya.

"I've called Edward," she says when I pick up. "His father. He'll be home in a moment. Where are you?"

"In the park, looking."

"Oh. So am I. Eleazar is combing the streets."

"I have to go," I say, hanging up. I have nothing to say to her, and I need to concentrate.

Never, in all my years of childcare, have I ever had to deal with something like this. I scream his name until my throat hurts. Concerned passersby ask me what's going on, including a policeman, who says he was just radioed with the information. Looks like the Masens called the cops. Thank God.

Edward shows up. We wander aimlessly, calling Alistair's name and his phone. Mr. Masen calls me, and I tell him what we're doing, assuring him I'll call back.

My phone is about to die, but then, it rings with Alistair's ringtone.

"Where are you?" I shout in to the receiver.

He sniffles. "At the playground."

"Which one?" I'm trying not to fall apart, but I'm close to it. Fear, relief, anguish ripple through my body; I can't stop shaking.

He tells me, and I tell Edward. We're only about a hundred feet away.

Alistair is huddled atop a slide structure, barely visible.

He comes down when we're closer, and Edward picks him up, cuddling him close. I've never seen Alistair cry, and right now he's almost hysterical. It makes me feel even worse, and even Edward has tears running down his cheeks.

I grip Alistair's hand while dialing Mr. Masen, letting him know we found his child.

* * *

_***Amon Tobin - At the End of the Day**_

_**...so, yeah. i think we could see poor Alistair was going to snap eventually. also, i don't know ~exactly~ how the police would intervene in this kind of situation, if they'd do the whole waiting game or if they'd act right away...anyway. feel free to enlighten me, otherwise, i wrote this off the cuff. **_


	61. Scooter

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

**storyline: Appease**

**prompt - scooter**

**NOT BETA'D**

* * *

We walk slowly out of the playground.

I call Mr. Masen first, to reassure him, and so he can call off the search party and police. Next I phone Tanya, even though she's the last person I feel like talking to. She _is_ Alistair's mother, even if in name only.

I reach up, running my hand through his hair. It's damp from sweat. His tears are slowing down, and every once in a while he heaves a huge sigh as his body calms itself.

The past hour has been crazily intense and emotional, and now that the adrenaline is gone, I'm bone tired. My throat hurts from yelling Alistair's name.

Tanya, who actually looks as if she's been crying as well, meets us on the sidewalk. She reaches for Alistair, but he only clings more tightly to Edward, limbs wrapped around his older brother like a little octopus.

Edward ignores Tanya and continues on toward the Dakota's main door, where Felix is standing with Irina, their faces lined in worry. I reach my hand out to Irina, who takes it eagerly, barely giving her mother a glance. It's so strange to me, still. I remember enough about being eight to know I adored my mother. We were, and still are, close.

Mr. Masen steps out, his face grave. "Alistair."

Alistair lifts his head and peers at his father. I'm not used to seeing him look this way, limp, as if he's given up. My heart breaks for him. Tears leak from my eyes, and I wipe my sleeve across my face.

"Come on," Mr. Masen says, extending his arms. Edward whispers something in to his little brother's ear, and then hands him over.

We get in to the elevator for what is quite possibly the _most_ awkward group anywhere, ever. No one speaks. Edward and I stand against one wall while the Masens, Irina and Alistair stand near the other. Tanya stares at the floor. I think she knows this is it, that she was the catalyst behind tonight's events, and that things are about to deteriorate even further once we're upstairs. She has to know Edward and I are going to be honest...about _everything._

The elevator doors open, and we enter the penthouse. Edward leans close, kissing my temple. He doesn't say anything, but he doesn't really have to. Just having him with me helps, a lot. Tanya might hate Edward, but he gets along with his father, even if there are things he doesn't like about him.

If Mr. Masen is surprised at our closeness, he doesn't say anything as we walk by. I'm wondering how we're going to handle this discussion, because while the twins are far from stupid, there are some details they don't need to hear.

Thankfully, we go to the TV room, where the big, cushy couches offer plenty of room. I don't think I can stand another stilted discussion in the room where I was hired and fired.

"So. What happened?" Mr. Masen asks, as soon as we're all sitting.

I open my mouth to speak but Tanya beats me to it. "Bella and I were discussing –"

"You were firing her!" Alistair cries, lifting his face from his father's chest. "You want her to leave in the morning!"

"Alistair," she chides, frowning. It's a front, though. She's obviously a little freaked out by his outburst. He and Irina tend to be quite obedient with their parents, even meek.

"Is...that true?" Mr. Masen asks, glancing between his wife and me.

"Yes," I say, nodding.

"What exactly is the problem?" he presses, looking a little confused. Caught off guard, maybe, just as I'd guessed. He had no idea Tanya was thinking of letting me go. She's probably always been the one to handle the household and its staff.

I speak up this time, before Tanya can spew any crap. "Mrs. Masen informed has me that my relationship with your son is unprofessional and grounds for dismissal. I was not aware that it would be a problem, as this was not stipulated when I was hired."

Mr. Masen's eyes land on our hands, which are clasped and resting on the seat between us. A ghost of a smile passes over his face. "I see."

"Dad, come on. You know Bella's professional. She's been great with the twins. I don't see the problem," Edward says, sighing.

"I can't say I see the problem, either," Mr. Masen says, glancing at Tanya. Her face is carefully arranged in to a blank mask, but I know her now, and I know she's trying to figure out her next step.

I think she thought she could bully me, that my quiet, compliant demeanor meant that I was docile and easily intimidated, but she was wrong. I hope she sees that now.

"Well. If you don't have a problem with this," she motions toward us with a look of irritation, "then, fine. I just don't see how it's appropriate."

"And I don't see how it's inappropriate," Edward says.

There's a pause.

"So can she stay?" Irina whispers.

"We'll have to discuss it, but yes, I think so." Mr. Masen says, brushing her hair back from her face.

"I could always live off of the premises while continuing on as their nanny," I offer. I know there are lot of details that need to be ironed out, but right now, these kids just need _some_ sort of assurance that I'm sticking around.

And I want desperately to give it to them.

"That's fine," Mr. Masen says. "Now, Alistair, I don't want you to ever do that again. You frightened your mother and me, as well as your sister. And Bella. And Edward." He chuckles, but I can see the concern on his face. "Please. Talk to us next time."

"I can't talk to you if you're not there," Alistair says.

My stomach tightens. This is getting more real by the second.

Mr. Masen's lips thin, and he nods. "Fair enough." He stands, taking Irina's hand in his while he continues to hold Alistair. "I'll need to go over a few more things with you, Bella, but for now I'm going to put these two to bed...Tanya?"

She rises and goes dutifully toward him, and they leave the room as a family.

I turn to Edward, who's reclining on the couch, head resting on the back. It's a pose I've seen a hundred times.

"Thanks for staying with me," I whisper, climbing over to kiss his chin. "I'm pretty sure I could've dealt with it... but it's a lot better with you here."

He shakes his head. "You crazy? I'd never let you here by yourself...in this...this lion's den."

I snort. "That's a little dramatic. And anyway, your dad's not quite so bad."

"Yeah he is. In his own way. Tanya's a selfish bitch, and Dad's a negligent idiot. They're both in their own little worlds...why either of them had kids I don't know."

"Harsh," I say. "But...I see your point."

"It is what it is."

"At least...I don't know. At least your father can be reasoned with. Tanya just strikes me as really vindictive and conniving. Like, you can't trust her at all."

"That's for sure," he says. "I can't wait to tell dear old Dad what she's been up to."

* * *

Now that the kids are asleep, the gloves come off.

Tanya and Edward Sr. return to the room, still subdued.

"My concern," he begins, "is that there seems to be tension between you and Tanya. I...understand that the children adore you, and the staff assures me that you have been exemplary and passionate, so I want you to stay. But it makes for an uncomfortable situation when you and my wife don't get along."

"I understand," I say. Because I do. It would be terribly awkward. But before I can say anything else, Edward leans forward, elbows resting on his thighs. "You might want to talk to your wife about her yoga instructor."

Tanya stiffens. "Excuse me?"

I bite my lip, looking from Edward to his father to Tanya. _Here we go..._

Mr. Masen sits back, nodding. He's got his poker face on, I assume, because he is absolutely impossible to read. For a moment, no one says anything, and the silence is loaded I think I hear my own heart beating.

"Anyway," Edward says eventually, "You two probably have a lot to discuss...so I'd like to take Bella home with me tonight, if that's okay. "

Mr. Masen nods hesitantly, eyes flickering between myself and his son.

"And I'd like to come back in the morning, to bring the twins to Dwight with Eleazar," I say, hoping he'll agree. Because really, at this point, what Tanya wants is irrelevant. "Please."

"That might be a good idea," Mr. Masen says. His face remains calm, but his hands are clenched. I really don't want to see things get any uglier than they already have. I almost wish we could scoop up the twins, too, but that would be overstepping my bounds. After all, they are with their parents, and while I don't agree with their parenting style (or lack thereof), they're safe.

"I'm going to pack a bag," I say, standing. "Thank you for allowing me to stay on as your children's nanny, Mr. Masen. I..." The tears are back, and I swallow them back, trying to get a grip. "I really love them, and I would do anything for them."

"I appreciate that, Bella," he says. "Thank you." He's looking at me, but it's like he's looking through me, as if his mind is elsewhere. I almost feel badly for him as I walk away. His youngest son called him out on his absence, and then the older one cast doubt on his wife's fidelity. But then I remember that he's a grown man living with the consequences of choices _he_ made. He's the one that puts work before family, and he's the one that cheated on Esme, just like Tanya has now cheated on him.

I don't wish pain and betrayal like this on anybody, but in the end, what goes around comes around. We reap what we sow.

I glance back as I step in to the hall. Edward's eyes meet mine, and I realize he's probably going to tell his father what Tanya tried to do way back. It's not a conversation I want to be around for.

There's never a good time to have discussions like this though, so...I guess now's a good a time as any.

The cab ride to Edward's is quiet.

I feel raw inside. My wounds are new, and even though they're nowhere near as bad as the ones the twins, Edward, his father and even Tanya have, I'm still hurting a little.

"I was so scared when we couldn't find him," I whisper, pressing my forehead against the glass. Outside, the night sparkles by, enkindled with lights that never go out.

"I know." Edward scrubs his hand over his face. Our thighs are pressed together, and he reaches down, covering my knee with his hand. "So was I. I'm glad he knew to call you."

"He might have heard us calling his name," I say. "We were closer to him than we realized."

"Yeah." He nods, sighing. "If I never have to go through that again it'll be too soon."

"No kidding." I turn from the window and rest my head on his shoulder. "Thanks for standing up for me tonight. With your Dad."

"I told you I would."

"You did," I agree softly, nodding.

"Anyway, he really, really likes you. And he knows the kids are attached. I think he would have had a hard time letting you go."

"And...I'm kind of proud of you for telling him what Tanya did when you were younger. I know you didn't want to."

He shrugs. "I'm not as traumatized as you seem to think I am. I'm just disgusted."

"Still, though."

"Yeah, well. He deserved to know."

"So what's going to happen with Tanya?"

"I don't know. The twins might need more than ever now, especially if Tanya and my Dad get divorced. Which they will. It'll be ugly."

Just thinking about it makes my head hurt.

We pull up to Edward's building and pay before getting out. There's a brisk breeze blowing, and I'm so glad Alistair is safe and warm in his bed, instead of shivering outside on that playground. I'll never be able to bring him and Irina there again without thinking of tonight.

A guy rides by on his scooter, holding on to the leash of a bulldog trotting ahead of him. It makes me laugh, which I really needed. Never underestimate the power of levity.

"He must live around here," says Edward, taking my hand and pulling me inside. "I see him all the time. Sometimes he's on a skateboard."

"That's awesome," I giggle-sigh. "I wish I had a dog. I like bulldogs...especially baby bulldogs."

"I'll get you one."

"And where would I keep it, Daddy Warbucks?"

"Here..."

We step on to his elevator. "So it would really be your dog, then."

"It would be your dog, living with me," he says, jabbing at the number of his floor. "Until you can."

"I don't see that happening for a long, long time," I say.

"You didn't see yourself dating me, either, but look at you now."

* * *

_**no, i didn't participate in the boycott, for very specific reasons. if you have questions, tweet or message me.**_

_***Black Spider - Mogwai**_


	62. Dilute

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**Story - Appease**_

_**Word Prompt: Dilute**_

_**NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

Before Edward, the relationships I had ranged from comfortable to exciting but short lived. I dated in high school and college, but with the exception of one guy, it was never ...true love, I guess. Maybe they were relationships in training? I don't know.

The one guy I do feel like I loved was also the first one to kind of break my heart. That was Paul Lahote. Our prom date led to a pretty fantastic summer romance. I had no problem giving him my virginity, but then he seemed to have no problem leaving me for the college girls when he left for UW.

There were some pretty great guys after him, but none that I was head over heels for. It's easy to click with different people, but then there's the guy you just _fit_ with. The one who you suddenly can't imagine life without, which for me, is just...nuts. I'm so good at being independent.

I was, anyway. Before Edward.

We stay up late at his place, eating popcorn in bed and watching TV. And then, exhausted from the night's drama, we take a shower and pass out. I make sure to set the alarm on my phone, wanting to be up early so thatI can return to the Dakota and take the twins to school. Yawning, I climb beneath the covers. Edward reaches for me, and I curl up in to him, accepting his warmth. Both the physical and the emotional kind.

We almost oversleep anyway. I shoot out of bed, rushing through an abbreviated version of my morning routine. Edward follows me around like a lost puppy, yawning and scratching his head.

"At least have a bagel," he says. "And coffee."

"Maybe on the way?" I pull my hair in to a ponytail. "I really don't want to be late..."

"No, I know," he says, sighing as he pulls a jacket on over his t-shirt. "I know a place."

We get a cab to a nearby deli which, by some miracle, has no line. I get my coffee and a pastry. It's got chocolate, and I'm in dire need of that. We catch another cab to the Dakota, where Eleazar is waiting at the curb. I jump out, kissing Edward.

"I'll see you later?" he asks, leaning halfway out of the backseat.

"Yeah." I kiss him again. "My stuff is at your place."

He snorts, laughing. "And here I thought you couldn't bear to be separated."

"That too."

He grins, lifting a hand to wave at Eleazar, who waves back, mouth quirked in amusement. "Bye, Bella."

"Bye, Edward."

I adjust my purse so that I can balance my breakfast a little more comfortably, then join Eleazar. He glances at his watch before squinting up at the building.

"They should be down in five."

I nod, nibbling my pastry. "Okay."

"How are you today?"

Shrugging, I swallow. "I'm all right, actually. Sleep always helps." This isn't totally true; sometimes sleep only puts off the inevitable, but in my case it did help. Edward and I are okay, and that's huge for me. He stuck to his word when he stood by me, and then took care of me in the aftermath. And we both stayed honest and frank during the confrontation with the Masens, especially Edward. He didn't get nasty, but he didn't dilute the truth, either. Now everything is out in the open.

We might all be a little injured, but at least the wounds have been cleaned and can start to heal. It's a start.

As I watch, the morning doorman ushers Irina and Alistair out the door with their father. To say I'm shocked to see him would be an understatement. He's usually out of the house before we are.

He nods briskly when he sees me. I can't help it; sympathy rushes through me. I can't imagine the kind of night he's probably had. He kisses the children and hands them over, running his hands though his hair.

So that's where Edward gets the habit. In fact, in the early morning light, with his own version of behead and slight stubble, I can see a lot of Edward in his father.

"Thank you for being here, Bella."

"Of course." I nod, smiling. "It's my job."

He clears his throat. "Yes, it is. I'll contact you a little later to go over the changes in our contract. Some, ah...some things are changing. You'll still be employed, if you want it, but it will be a different set up."

"I understand. Whatever works for you...I'll just have to make sure it works with my classes. But we can talk about it later."

"Right." He's so distracted, like the weight of the world is on his shoulders. It probably is.

"Bye, Alistair, Irina. Have a good day."

"Bye, Daddy," they say, sounding curiously cheerful. It's incredible what just a little extra attention can do, like tiny flowers thriving beneath the sun. I can remember how much I loved hanging out with my dad when I was little, too.

"Hey, guys," I say, grinning as I join the twins in the backseat.

"Hi, Bella," Irina says. "I'm glad you came!"

"Pfft, like I'd ever _not_ come," I tease. I peek at Alistair, who seems to be okay. Quiet, but that's not new.

Then his eyes meet mine, and I suspect he's remembering our moment the night before in the park. He blushes, but he's smiling now, too.

"Did your mom help you guys get ready?" I ask, biting my lip.

Alistair nods. "And we had breakfast with Daddy. Mrs. Cope made bacon and eggs."

My heart swells for that woman; she's all heart. "Oh, yum. This was my breakfast," I say, holding up my empty napkin and the remains of my coffee.

Irina giggles. "Can you do my nails after school?"

And just like that, things are back to normal. It's a different normal, but I'll take it.

"For sure."

* * *

After dinner, I tuck Alistair and Irina in to bed.

Edward just called; he's coming by to hang out for awhile, and to bring the stuff I left at his place.

It's looking like I'm staying at the penthouse for now. Tanya and Edward are, in fact, separating. I know from Edward that they have a series of meetings and counseling appointments set up for the near future, but I don't think there's much to salvage. Still, I respect that they want to at least try to talk things out before throwing in the towel. After all, this will be divorce number two for Mr. Masen...and once again, there will be children suffering the consequences.

Later this week, Tanya's moving to a condo in a nearby building while Edward Sr. stays here. I don't know what's going to happen when they split legally, in terms of custody, but for now it's agreed that the Dakota is a better, more stable home base for the children. They'll have rooms at their mother's, of course, and they'll visit her all the time, but it's no secret that they're closer to their father. Plus, he's the breadwinner of the family, one whose got a bevy of friends in high places. Tanya might want to start a custody war, but I just don't see that working in her favor. She's no Esme, reputation-wise or behind closed doors. I just hope they can come to a civil agreement, like my parents did when I was a kid.

My phone vibrates with a text: Edward's outside. I hurry down the hall to the door, where he's waiting on the other side.

"Hi," I breathe, ridiculously happy to see him. It's only been a day; not even. I saw him this morning.

"Do you realize," he kisses me quickly, "that this is the first time I have come here to see you? Officially, anyway."

"It is, isn't it?" I nod, closing the door behind him. "About time, I guess."

He nods, looking around.

"This isn't the house you grew up in, though."

"No, but it's close enough. Same shit, different address."

"You and your dirty mouth."

"Sorry, Ms. Poppins..."

I kiss his dirty mouth and tug him down the hall, toward the kitchen. "Mrs. Cope left you banana bread. I told her you were stopping by."

"God, I love that woman."

I set him down at the island and ply him with baked goods and hot chocolate, grabbing some for myself before joining him.

"Always the nanny," he whispers, hooking his foot on the bottom rung of my chair to pull me closer. "Always taking care of everyone else."

Shrugging, I sip my cocoa. "I'm good at it, I guess."

"Yes, you are. You should take care of you, though, too."

"Oh, I do. Don't be fooled."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Being with you is a huge instance of me taking care of myself."

He grins, nodding. "I like it."

"I like it, too."

We eat our treats, commenting quietly on the little things that come to mind. It's so quiet. It's weird, knowing that Tanya will be gone soon, and that even though she's here right now, she's got no authority. I can actually relax with Edward, which is the way it should be.

After I load our plates and cups in to the dishwasher, we go to my room. I make sure to lock the door, just in case. It's one thing to be comfortable with Edward here, it would be another for one of the kids to walk in on us kissing.

And there will be kissing. I know Edward.

Sure enough, he stalks toward me, dropping the bag he brought back for me to the floor. "I like the thought of defiling this bed."

"You like the thought of defiling _anything,_" I laugh. "Same shit, different address, right?"

"Now who's got the dirty mouth?"

I push him back on to the bed and climb atop him, settling right over his zipper. He smiles faintly, resting his hands on my waist. He makes me effervesce; he calms me. He makes me feel safe and spontaneous, both content-in-love and itchy-for-sex. I grind down on him, relishing the moment he bites his lip, wanting. He flattens his hands over as much of my lower back as he can, and then pulls me down so that we're pressed together. I kiss him, shivering when his fingertips tickle across the nape of my neck and up through my hair.

Our kisses deepen. I push, he pulls. I slide off so that I can open his jeans, kissing the strip of skin between his boxers and shirt. I peel mine off while he removes his, and then we fling our underwear aside so that I return to his lap.

I rub against him, getting him wet. His breathing quickens, rough and choppy, fingers digging in to my hips. As I slowly bring him inside he grabs my hand, eyes intent on mine.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," I say, filled.

"Feels better," he moans quietly. "So much better. So good...Bella. I love you, I love you..."

"I know," I kiss him, lightheaded, "I love you."

And it really does, just him, and me, and nothing between.

He sits up suddenly, holding my body close, and I wrap my feet around him, trying to keep the momentum even though the angle is awkward. He scoots to the end of the bed so his feet are on the floor, giving him leverage, and then he pushes up in to me, hard, deep.

It's easier for me to come this way, and when I do he kisses away the sounds that I make. An then he comes soon after, mouth still latched to mine.


	63. Head in the Clouds

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**Storyline - Appease**_

_**Word Prompt: Speedy**_

_**Plot Generator—Idea Completion: Head in the clouds.**_

_**not beta'd**_

* * *

Time waits for no one. It goes so quickly now, picking up speed the older I get. As a child summer was this glorious wild blue yonder, lasting and lasting, nearly as long, seemingly, as the school years surrounding it. And Christmas? Good God, it took _forever_ to arrive. I guess maybe that's all part of childhood...the hugeness of life. People are taller, places more vast, and time expands and expands until there's no beginning and no end.

But now the seasons blur by, breathless snapshots of months gone by. Autumn quickly cools in to almost-winter. The trees turn gold and red, and then lose their leaves altogether, naked branches awaiting the heft of winter's snow.

Each night I divide my time between the twins' homework and my own studies, making sure to include a couple of fun things during the week like dinner picnics in front of the television, of which Edward or Alice are often guests. Sometimes I paint Irina's nails, or Alice does, or we set up Alistair's new telescope. The air is clearer now, but it's still hard to see, so I promise him we'll do the Hamptons soon, even if we have to wear a hundred layers to keep warm.

Honor roll and science projects well done yield after school trips to Dylan's or FAO Schwarz. The weekends are mine, and the kids know that, but sometimes I include them in the plans I make with Edward. More and more though, I find Mr. Masen carving slivers of time out of his busy schedule for family time. He takes them to the movies sometimes, matinees, or to dinner.

He took Irina out on a "date" last week, where they both dressed up, and I had to keep from crying as they left, like I was some kind of sentimental grandma. Alistair continues to be a tougher nut to crack, though, and I can see that it's going to take more than a couple of fun outings for his trust, and maybe respect, to be re-earned.

In that way, he's more like Alice: introspective, slow to forgive. Irina favors Edward, though. They're both fun loving and relaxed. What's funny is that initially, I pegged Alice for the perky one and Edward as the melancholy. It's interesting to see what qualities and traits the four of them have; just when I think I'm catching on, one of them will say or do something that surprises me.

I just hope that as the months turn in to years, Mr. Edward Masen gains the same insight to his children that I have. Because in spite of their rocky familial beginnings, they're a pretty awesome bunch.

* * *

"Not the pout. Put that lip back where it belongs."

Edward just pushes it out harder, until he looks so ridiculous that I start to laugh.

"Edward!"

"Not 'til you say you'll stay."

"It'll only be for a few days..."

Edward is begging me to stay for Thanksgiving, but I really miss my father and he's offered to send me a ticket home. I haven't seen him since last Christmas. Usually I try to see him at the very end of summer, after my nannying jobs end and before school resumes. I couldn't do that this year because I stayed on with the Masens. It was an easy choice to make; I felt needed here in New York, and besides, the money was good. It still is.

But now I'm slightly homesick, and I don't want to wait for the end of December, when Charlie is supposed to come and see me in the city for a change. I want to go home.

I explain this to Edward. Repeatedly.

"You have everyone you love right here, in the city. Your perfect little bubble of life and love and...life. My life is spread out across the country. My Mom's in Phoenix, my Dad's in Washington State, you guys are here..."

"But I'm the most important love here, right?" he prods, popping a piece caramelized popcorn in to his mouth. "More than everyone else?"

"The needy Edward act isn't going to work," I say, stealing some popcorn for myself. "Not this time."

"Bella..."

"Stop it. I'll leave on Wednesday and be back on Saturday. It'll be quick and speedy."

"Redundant."

"This entire conversation has been redundant."

He sighs loudly and tackles me by the waist, wrestling me on to my just-made bed. I _was_ trying to pack my weekend bag so we could escape to his loft, but his antics are making it take forever.

"I can't help it. I've never been in love before. You bring out the worst in me."

"That's so sweet, Edward."

"I mean the best." His eyes twinkle, and he leans in for a sticky kiss.

I oblige. Because I always do, and I probably always will.

"You understand, though, right?" I ask, twisting my fingers in to his hair. He just got a haircut, but there's still enough for me to tug on.

"Of course I do," he murmurs. "You know I have to try, though."

"Mhm."

Little kisses deepen to the point where I have to pull away. We'll never get going if we stat fooling around now, and besides the one time we made love in my bed, we reserve the physical stuff for Edward's place.

"Maybe one year you could come with me," I offer, climbing off the bed.

"Maybe I could come this year," he says automatically. "And why are you making it sound like you'll be leaving every year?"

I fold another shirt and toss it, along with clean undies, in to my bag. "Because, like I explained, my family lives elsewhere. So unless we fly them in, I have to go to them."

"Fly them in, then."

"Oh, because that's totally realistic." I zip my bag and turn around. "Anytime you want to get your head out of the clouds and back down to earth, with me, let me know."

"_I _can arrange for them to come here."

"Ugh, Edward, stop it," I groan, both amused and annoyed. "You can't just fix everything by throwing money at it."

"What does that even mean?" he snickers. "Money buys plane tickets, doesn't it?"

"Yes, but...just...shut up." I throw my freshman year NYU sweatshirt at him. "And what did you mean, you'd come this year?"

He shrugs, pulling the sweatshirt on. It's too short on him. Snorting, I turn away.

"I meant I want to come with you. Meet your Dad. Check out the old stomping grounds. Wear this sweater amongst the townsfolk." He comes up behind me, breathing, literally, down my neck.

"You look...so silly," I giggle. "Take it off!"

"Not until you say I can come to Spoons."

"Fine, you can come," I say, cringing away from his tickles and heavy breathing. "To Forks."

"Good." He kisses my cheek and takes off the pathetic looking sweatshirt.

"You're not the first, by the way."

"To visit your hometown?" He frowns.

I roll my eyes. "To call it Spoons."

He smirks.

"And what about your grandparents? Won't they miss you?" I ask. Mr. Masen's parents, the ones Alistair and Irina occasionally stay with, are hosting dinner for their family. It sounds like a pretty big deal; even Alice, who's normally spends the holiday with Edward, Esme and Carlisle, sounds excited about reconnecting with that part of her family.

It sucks things had to hit such a low, but I'd be lying if I said that there haven't been some good to come of it all.

"Yeah," Edward admits haltingly. Abruptly serious, he nods, looking down. "Maybe...maybe I'll go to them a day early. Spend some time with them and then fly in to Seattle on Friday morning."

"I think that's perfect."

He grins, opening my bedroom door. "Me too."

* * *

_***Moonlit Sailor - New Zealand**_

_**thank you for each & every review. i appreciate it, & i'm thankful, always. *puffy hearts/expensive chocolate offerings***_


	64. Right

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**Story - Appease**_

_**Word Prompts: Right, write, rite**_

_**NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

Mr. Masen allows Irina and Alistair to accompany their big brother to the airport to see me off. You'd swear I was leaving for months, by the looks on all of their faces...and by the tugging in my heart.

"No sulking," I whisper, smoothing my knuckles over Irina's cheeks. Edward seems to have passed his penchant for pouting on to his siblings.

She gazes forlornly back, those icy blues wide and earnest. "You'll be back Saturday, right?"

"I told you I would be." I'm gentler with the kids than I am with Edward, because whereas _he_ knows better, they're still expecting to be left by the people they're closest to. "I'll be back and we can trade Thanksgiving stories. Promise."

"I wish I could meet Charlie," she says.

I laugh. I don't know what my father would do with a little Upper East Side princess like Irina Masen. It'll be entertaining enough seeing him interact with Edward.

"You will. He'll be here for Christmas."

Alistair pushes forward and gives me a hug. "Have a good trip, Bella," he says, patting my back. Always the little man.

"I will. Thanks, buddy."

Edward comes forward last, smirking. "I'm just glad we're flying back together. First class has bigger seats...you know what that means."

"Yup...better naps," I say, smiling innocently.

Grinning, he cups my face and kisses me. "Be good."

"Always," I whisper. "You be good."

"For you, anything."

Rolling my eyes at his charm, I give him one last peck and extricate myself. "Okay, you guys. Have a great Thanksgiving...take lots of pictures so you can share when I get back." I glance up at Edward. "And I'll see _you_ on Friday."

"You sure I shouldn't grab a rental? I don't feel right about you driving in that sh-crappy Washington weather."

"I'll be fine, Edward. And stop talking smack about my home state."

An overhead announcement for another flight catches my attention, reminding me that I should get moving. "Gotta go. Bye!"

They wave, and I blow kisses, letting the crowd part us as we go our separate ways.

* * *

"Daddy, no. Edward is not going ice fishing with you. You're being ridiculous."

"Traditional. It's a rite of passage to go fishing with your girlfriend's old man."

"Unreasonable. You just want to show off your fishing poles and your gun and all of your other manly accoutrements."

"Oh, Lord Bella. You and those big ass words. I'm no idiot, but you sound like such a yuppie."

Wrinkling my nose, I kick him with a socked foot. "Stop avoiding the topic."

"I'm not..."

"So, no ice fishing. Please. No fishing at all, in fact. Don't be a cliché."

"What?" he chuckles, but he stops pestering me because he knows I'm right. I've hardly brought any boys home for him to meet, and this is absolutely the first time I'll be bringing someone in from out of state. I just _know_ he's itching to face off with "that rich city boy", like it's some epic city slicker vs hick scenario. "Can't a man share his passions?"

"How about I bring him back in the summertime, and you can take him fishing then? Provided you don't run him off this time around."

Charlie laughs, rubbing his mustache. "All right, all right. You obvious care about this guy. I'll be nice."

"Please," I entreat, nodding. "He's important."

"You love him?"

"Yes."

He sighs extra loudly. "Fine."

I peek over at him just in time to catch him swallowing a smile. "You're so full of it! There is no ice fishing, is there?" I cry, tossing a couch pillow at his head. "Dad!"

Chortling, he shakes his head. "It's been a long time since I messed with you, kid. I couldn't resist."

Later, after Charlie's famous chili and cheesy bread, I head upstairs to my old bedroom. It's a guestroom now. There's a trundle bed beneath the queen size, and I hope my father doesn't take issue with Edward sleeping in it. I respect him and his house, but I'm twenty one, and I've been on my own for years now. I guess we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

I take a long, hot shower and get in to my thermals and wool socks, eager for coziness. It's cold and slushy outside, the perfect weather for curling up in bed with a good book. I'm doing just that when I hear the doorbell ring.

Frowning, I sit up, wondering who on earth would be at Charlie's door at ten o'clock, the night before Thanksgiving. A moment later, he calls me downstairs.

Halfway down, I freeze in surprise, and then I run the rest of the way down. My mother, dripping wet but rosy cheeked and excited, stands on the welcome mat, her suitcases at her feet.

"Surprise!" she cries, embracing me as I tumble in to her arms.

"Mom! What are you doing here?"

"Your father and I wanted to surprise you... I knew you weren't planning on leaving New York for Christmas, so I figured I'd just join you here." She grips me tightly. "My flight was delayed, though. That's why I'm so late. Weather's awful out there."

I nod, backing up so I can see her. She still smells the same, like lily of the valley lotion. Her hair's a little different, but that's about it. "Well, I am so glad you're here. I've missed you."

"Oh, Bella. I've missed you, too," she says, eyes misting over.

"You're probably even more exhausted than I am." I reach for her suitcases. "Why don't you take my room –"

"No, no. Renee can take my room and I'll sleep on the couch," Charlie says, taking the bags from me. "I insist. Now come on and have a beer, Renee."

When I finally make it back to bed, it's past one. I've just spent the past couple of hours catching up with Charlie and Renee; I'm so full off of their love and companionship, so content. They've gotten along fine in the years following the divorce, even keeping in touch, but I have to admit I never imagined spending any holidays with the two of them like this.

The jet lag that's been nipping at my heels all evening finally catches up to me, and yawning widely, I turn off my lamp. It's early in New York, pre-dawn, and Edward's likely fast asleep, but I reach for my phone anyway. We spoke when I landed and texted once or twice after that, but there's something in my heart I want to write.

_Can't wait to see you friday. Both my parents are here, so be ready to be doubly charming. I love you more than you know._

_xo_

* * *

**_*Now - Mackintosh Braun_**

**_xoxo_**


	65. Tepid

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**storyline - Appease**_

_**prompt - tepid**_

_**not beta'd**_

* * *

Renee is hopeless when it comes to cooking –her ineptitude is what encouraged my own skill in the kitchen years ago–so she does prep work and helps clean while Charlie and I handle Thanksgiving dinner. A couple of my father's friends are coming over, younger guys from the station with their wives, so we make sure to prepare plenty. Besides the traditional fare like turkey, stuffing and potatoes, we have salmon, (Charlie's serious when it comes to his fish), salad (_that_ Renee could manage), sweet potato casserole and fresh rolls.

I swat at Charlie, who keeps stealing marshmallows from the sweet potatoes. "If you don't stop there won't be any left for the guests," I grumble.

"Do you treat your boyfriend this way? Lucky guy."

"Dad!"

"Charlie, stop it. Bella, sweetie, do you need me to do anything else? Put out the butter, maybe, so it softens up? Silverware?"

"Uh, sure...Dad?"

"Just a second." He wipes his hands and leads my mother to where ever he needs her to be. It's kind of funny, this role reversal. Most kids set the table while their mothers cooked; Renee and I have always been the opposite.

By the time Charlie's friends come, we're all set. My father turns all red in the face when I accept a glass of wine, forgetting that I am, in fact, of age now.

"Better not drink and drive out there, Bells," he mutters, sawing away at the turkey.

"Dad, no one drives in the city. I usually take cabs and subways." _And Eleazar drives me,_ I think, but I keep that to myself.

He nods, looking thoughtful. "Your boyfriend never drives?"

"Well." I blush, swallowing. "He does, sometimes, but that's just because he's so attached to his car."

"Yeah? What does he drive?"

"An Aston Martin," I say quietly, examining the cranberry relish Sam and Leah brought.

There's a low whistle from across the table. One of the other policemen, Jared, nods appreciatively. "Aston Martin? Nice."

"Don't see too many of those around here," chuckles Sam, buttering a roll.

I sigh, thinking about the soft leather seats and the way the engine purrs. How Edward looks switching gears, how he holds my hand in his lap. I can't wait to call him when dinner's finished.

And I can't wait to see him tomorrow.

* * *

I'm awake before my phone alarm even goes off, jet lag be damned.

Yawning, I stretch in bed and sit up, peeking out the window. It's hazy and grey, and there's been talk of snow. There was snow in New York last night; I checked. Flurries. Everyone's freaking out that it's so cold this early in the year, but I don't mind it.

And anyway, it's the weather. Resistance is futile; it's going to do what it wants.

I have a text from Edward, letting me know he's getting on the plane. It's from a while ago. He left as early as he could, and his flight lands at Sea Tac around eleven. I'll be on my way soon...it'll take me a couple of hours to get to the airport, and I need to be careful because of the wet roads.

After a moment, I get out of bed and head toward the bathroom. Charlie's plumbing is ancient, so I turn on the water and wait, sighing. The Dakota this ain't. After a small eternity the water goes from tepid to hot and I step inside the shower, shuddering at how good it feels.

It's a quick shower, because if I don't watch it, it'll turn cold on me again, so I rush through washing my hair and jump out. I take care to blow dry it nicely, partly because it's too cold for damp hair, but also because I want to look perfect when I pick Edward up.

Downstairs, Charlie and Renee are chatting over coffee and bagels.

They're nothing like New York bagels, but I still find my stomach fluttering in nostalgia.

"Sit down, have a bite to eat," Renee says, patting the chair next to her.

I shake my head. "I need to get going...I'll take something to go."

"Bella, relax...you have plenty of time," she laughs, cocking her head. "Look at you, all excited over this guy."

"Mom..." I roll my eyes, smiling. "Yes, I'm excited, okay?"

Charlie grunts and gets up for a coffee refill.

"I'm glad you're here," I tell my mother, nodding toward Charlie. "You can help me keep him in line."

She snorts. "Yeah, right."

We banter back and forth while I prepare a quick breakfast and then I leave, grabbing the keys to Charlie's pick up truck. He drives it when he's not using the patrol car, but he and Renee aren't going anywhere, so I can use it.

It's been awhile since I drove, and I'm actually a little uptight at first, but as the miles pass and I work through my iPod's playlist, my anxiety melts away.

Edward's texts me when I'm about five minutes away from arrivals. There's no way for me to message back safely, so I just keep my phone on my lap, figuring I'll just call him when I'm at the curb.

He beats me to it.

"Hello?" I say, scanning the crowds.

"Hey, I'm here..."

"I know! I'm just pulling up. What are you wearing?"

"Black coat."

"Great. You and everybody else..."

"Well, what are you driving?"

"Red truck."

"Okay...I think I might see you..."

"I'm flashing my lights –"

"I'm waving!"

"Okay, okay!" I giggle, checking my mirrors as I swerve in to the next lane and pull up alongside the curb.

Edward grins, his hair blowing in the brisk wind. He looks amazing.

I don't know _how_ I ever resisted him.

Ignoring any lurking airport security personnel, I put the truck in park and leap out to greet Edward. And to kiss him. He tosses his bag inside the truck bed and grabs me, warming my mouth with his.

"Hey," he breathes, gazing down at me. "Missed you."

"Missed you, too," I admit, touching his cheek. "Although technically more time has gone by back home when we're in school..."

"Not the same."

I glance at the chaotic scene around us, the cars and cabs and shuttles all flying past. "I know...come on. Let's go."

Inside, the heat is blasting, so Edward takes off his coat. Underneath he's wearing this really nice, charcoal grey long sleeved shirt I've never seen before, and black dress pants. I glance down at my jeans and turtleneck.

"You look nice," I say, biting my lip.

"You look better," he says, squeezing my thigh.

"Not really," I laugh. "I...you look so...dressy."

He shrugs. "It's what I was wearing at dinner last night. I had to leave so early this morning to make it to the airport for my flight that I didn't bother changing or anything like that."

"Did you sleep at all?"

"On the plane a little." He peels his gloves off and slides his hand around the back of my neck. I shiver. Even my nipples harden at his touch. "I'll be okay."

"I'm glad you came, Edward. So glad."

"Yeah, well...I almost didn't."

My heart skips. "Why not?"

"Tanya threw a fit," he says, disgusted. "At the last minute she said she wanted the twins to spend Thanksgiving with her and her parents, who're in town...it was all out war for awhile."

"What? Are you kidding me?" I scowl at the road, putting on the windshield wipers to combat the rain.

"Wish I was."

"Ugh. I love how all is chill until a major holiday, and then she decides to act up."

"Typical Tanya. Anyway, my father got her to stand down when he explained that the whole family was coming together this year, and that he'd drop the kids off to her condo himself this morning. She didn't like it, but she eventually agreed."

"Thank God..."

"He probably threatened her future alimony or some shit," he snorts.

"I'm sorry you had such drama," I say. "Our day was really mellow."

"I should've just come before, like I wanted to."

"Yeah..." I put my hand over his, and our fingers link. "But then you wouldn't have been there for Alistair and Irina."

He's quiet for a second, and then he nods. "Yeah."

"Well...if it's any consolation we have a ton of leftovers, and my parents are both really looking forward to meeting you."

"I'll bet."

I look at him, and he smirks.

"What?" I ask, smiling.

Shrugging, he puts his hand back on my thigh, high up enough that his pinkie grazes between my legs. "You might be my hot nanny, but you're his little girl. And he's a cop. It's going to be one long interrogation, with some clarification of pecking order thrown in."

I nod, understanding. "At least there's pie."


	66. Zero

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**Story - Appease**_

_**Prompt - zero**_

_**NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

At home, I pause by the front door, separating the house key from the rest. It's cold enough that my fingers are getting numb, and mittens only impede my progress.

Edward shifts impatiently behind me before pressing his body against mine. "It's cold out here, baby."

"I know," I chatter, finally getting the key. "And since when do you call me baby?"

"I don't know. It sounded sexy in my head."

"And what about out loud?" I push the door open, half expecting my ridiculously chummy parents to be lurking behind the door.

"Shh," he laughs, quickly closing the door behind us.

Charlie pops out of the kitchen immediately, smiling and wiping his hands on a rag like Mr. Mom. I don't know what's happened to him in his old age. Right behind him, Renee smiles and hurries over, a mug of...something...in each hand.

"Hello," she trills. Her cheeks are rosy, which means she's tipsy. In fact, they both are.

_Oh, Lord. _

"Charlie, Renee, this is Edward." I clear my throat, face already burning. They've really cranked the heat up in here. "My boyfriend."

"Hi there, Edward," Charlie says, extending a hand. "Welcome. I know it's not the Ritz, but hey."

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Swan," Edward says smoothly, giving my father what looks like a hearty handshake. "And you too, Mrs. Swan. I'm glad I'm getting the opportunity to meet you, as well."

"Oh, thank you, Edward," Renee says, notably flustered. I smirk, shaking my head. She's totally enchanted by Edward's face. "Please call me Renee. I...I'm not...yes, Renee is fine." She thrusts a mug toward Edward.

"Thank you," he says, smiling politely. He sniffs it surreptitiously; I do too. Smells like coffee, with something else.

"Well, I like _Mr. Swan_," Charlie says. "But you can call me Chief."

"Dad," I groan, pulling Edward away from the front door, where we're all congregated. "Nobody calls you Chief."

"Just messin' with ya, kiddo," he says, ruffling my hair. "Well, Edward, hope you're hungry. We have quite the spread... I know they don't feed you on the plane these days, cheap assholes."

"I'm sure they feed them in first class," I snort, smiling at Edward.

He shrugs. "I had a snack, but I'm starving."

"Good man," Charlie says.

Edward takes a quick sip of his drink. His eyebrows shoot up. "She definitely doctored it with something."

"Let me try," I say, grabbing it and taking a gulp. It's sweet, but it burns going down a bit.

"Thanks for making me one, Mom," I say as we enter the kitchen.

"You see, Edward? I'm only 'Mom' when she needs something..."

"That's not true," I argue. "It depends on my mood..."

She sets a mug down in front of me. "It's Irish coffee."

I shrug, not knowing anything about that, but Edward speaks up. "Mm, my grandmother makes this. Usually on Christmas."

"She does?" I ask, frowning.

He nods, sipping. Renee smiles rather smugly.

"So. Edward." Charlie sits down with a mug of his own and now here we are, the four of us squeezed around the old kitchen table, cupping steaming mugs of spiked coffee. "Tell me about yourself. I know a little from what Bella's said, but I want to hear it from you."

"Well, I was born and raised in Manhattan. Both my parents were, as were their parents, and so on. I have a sister and two younger siblings from my father's second marriage. I graduated summa cum laude from Dartmouth, with a business degree, but I switched to Columbia for my grad school." He smiles, winking at me. I swear my mother swoons. "It's got a great reputation and...I wanted to be closer to Bella."

I mash my lips together, try to rein in my goofy smile.

Charlie clears his throat. "That's good. Really good."

I take another sip of my Irish coffee. It's a little strong, but it warms me from the inside out, which is probably why they're drinking it this early in the day. That, or they're just bored.

We sit around chatting for a long time, well through a lunch of left overs and another round of coffee. By the time we're dismissed, it's nearly five. Charlie is already talking about dinner.

"I'll make my lasagna," I say, stretching. "But we have zero ingredients here, so I'll have to go to Thriftway."

"You can give Edward the grand tour of Forks," Renee says sarcastically, but she's smiling.

"Yeah, exactly," I say. "It'll take all of five minutes."

Edward runs upstairs to change while I goof around with Charlie, who's settling down to watch a game on TV.

"So?" I prod.

"So what?" he says, flipping intently through the channels with his remote.

"Edward," I whisper, glancing back toward the stairs.

"He's a good kid," Charlie says. "A little on the pretty side, but good. Not what I was expecting."

"When have I ever dated a douchey guy?" I ask. "I mean, seriously enough to bring home?"

"First time for everything," he says, shrugging.

"I think I'm pretty level headed when it comes to guys."

"Hey, I said I liked him, didn't I?" he scoffs. "He's direct, open. That's all I ask for."

"Well, I think he's absolutely gorgeous, honey," gushes Renee. "If I was fifteen years younger..."

"Mom, please." I look apologetically at Charlie, who rolls his eyes and turns the volume up.

"What?" She follows me to the front door, where I slide my boots back on. "I'm just complimenting your choice of men."

"Well, thank you," I say, sighing.

"Yes, Renee, thank you," Edward says smugly. He gives my mother a quick squeeze on her shoulders. In the short time he's been here, they've already become acquainted. Then again, they're alike in that they're both really easy to talk to. "I'm flattered."

She snorts, shooing us out the door.

We go to the supermarket, and I point out things of interest along the way, like the high school where I spent my junior and senior year. There really isn't that much to see, but at least the sun pokes out, making the asphalt sparkle.

"You weren't lying when you said this place was small," Edward says. "Holy shit."

"I know. Major change from the city, huh?" We park up at Thriftway and get out.

"I'd go nuts in a town this little," he muses, tossing his arm around my shoulder.

"Why do you think I live in New York?"

We browse the store, chatting and filling the cart with the items I need for dinner.

Edward charms everyone, from the lady stocking produce to our cashier.

"So you know I'm already brainstorming ways we can defile your childhood bed," he says, once we're back in the truck. "That right there, is the ultimate."

"Or we can just do it in the truck. Find a quiet road and..."

"You mean now?" he asks, voice low.

"Right now."

* * *

_***Reunion - M83**_

_**ya'll must love pie.**_

_**i know i do...**_


	67. Relinquish

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**storyline - Appease**_

_**prompt - relinquish**_

_**not beta'd**_

* * *

I turn down an old, rocky road half covered by tree branches and brush. It's barely visible from the road, but I'm familiar with it because it leads to one of Charlie's favorite fishing spots. During the summer, he casts his little boat out from here.

Edward grins, nodding in approval. "Small town girls know how to get down."

"Have you had many of those?" I ask, cutting the engine. "Small town girls?"

"No..."

"Yeah, right," I snicker.

"Bella," he whines, unbuckling his seatbelt. Luckily, the benches on these older model trucks are pretty huge, so there's nothing to keep him from dragging me closer. I unfasten my own seatbelt as he does, easing awkwardly on to his lap. "When are you going to stop harassing me about other girls?"

"I only do it as a joke now," I say, kissing his face. "Don't be so defensive."

"It's not my fault..."

"Ha!" I give him a look. "Then whose fault is it? Those girls must have chased you down, then..."

"Some did," he mutters, squeezing my behind.

"Anyway, I really, honestly don't care. I have you now." I make my way to his mouth and kiss him properly.

"You'll always have me," he declares quietly.

Something twists inside my heart. "Let's just be here, now," I whisper. "Please."

But he angles his face away, staring up at me in the slowly dimming light. "Do you trust me, Bella? Really?"

I nod, searching his eyes.

"What are you afraid of?"

"I'm not..."

"I feel like you are." He reaches his hands up under my coat and then my sweater, cold hands making me jump. "Sorry," he whispers as I squirm, cocky smile assuring me he's anything but.

"I took a chance with you. If you knew me before...well, let's just say the way I was when we met is the way I've been for a while. It was better that way. I've always had too much at stake...my scholarships... my job..." _my heart..._ "It's not that I don't trust you, because I do. I think you're..." I shake my head, unable to come up with the right words to describe him. He's handsome, and silly, and obviously even more intelligent than I realized if he graduated college with such high honors...but all of those things seem superficial. A laundry list, like the one he used all those months ago, when trying to convince me how he felt. "Really right for me," I say eventually. "I just want it to work."

"It does work."

I nod.

"You know...you make me nervous."

I laugh quietly. "How so?"

"You have impossibly high standards and I worry that I don't meet them."

"You exceed them."

"That's what you say, but how am I supposed to know that when you're obviously waiting for me to mess up?" He kisses me quickly, silencing me before I can speak. "This is important to me. You make me want to _not_ mess up."

"Are you saying I make you want to be a better man?" I tease, running my fingers through his hair affectionately.

"Yes," he says, nodding. "All that shit Alice told you about me...stuff you might have heard – it was true, Bella. I was that guy. You didn't misread me...all I wanted was to fuck you and forget you."

I flinch, my hands falling away. Swallowing, I ask, "so what changed?"

"Besides the fact you wouldn't talk to me?" He smiles wryly.

"I spoke to you."

"Well. Not the way I wanted you to. You spoke _at_ me, is more like it." He shrugs. "Guess we always want what we can't have, and I couldn't have you."

"Until you could."

"By which point I was beyond intrigued." He wraps his arms tightly around me, hugging me. "You made me work for it. You were always on my mind. And the more we hung out, the more I realized I actually liked you. It wasn't just because I couldn't read you, or have you, but because you challenged me."

"Like a game."

"Maybe, but a good game. Not the kind you're thinking of."

"What kind am I thinking of?"

"See, you're doing it right now," he chuckles. "Always questioning. It's sexy."

"So what happens when you figure this puzzle out?" I continue, not allowing myself to be too enamored just yet.

"I doubt I'll ever have you fully figured out. And anyway, it's much more than that now. The way you take care of Alistair and Irina. The way you fight for them...that. _That_. Just blows my mind. Who does that?"

"I don't know what it is about them." I shake my head, frowning. "It's like they wrapped themselves around my heart... I love them. I really do."

"I know you do. It's one of the reasons I fell in love with you. Most of the girls I know could care less...and for a lot of nannies it's just a job –"

"It was _supposed_ to be just a job."

"But it's not anymore, is it?" He pulls my hair from its ponytail, running his fingers through it. "And that's why it was easy to relinquish the most eligible bachelor bullshit. You're nothing, _nothing_ like I expected."

"Well..." I exhale slowly, trying to calm the flutters in my stomach. "Neither are you."

I can't help it, I bend to kiss him. He's so gorgeous, and so warm, and just...I don't know. It's all so very... primal. Biological. It always has been. Even though we fell in love somewhere along the way, the physical spark between us has always burned so electric and bright, scary and beautiful.

I move against him, pushing down as he pushes up. He kisses me deeply, exploring my mouth with his tongue, the way he does when we know we're going to do a lot more than just kiss.

"You can't drag me all the way out here and not expect me to want it," he says a moment later, laying me down on the seat. Holding himself up with one hand, he starts undoing his pants.

"These are so hard to get off," I complain, wrestling my jeans off. "Help me..."

He gives them one hard yank, and I slide half way across the seat, giggling.

Outside, it's getting darker and darker. Thoughts of Charlie and Renee flicker distantly through my mind, and I know that if we don't get back soon, they'll fuss.

Edward eases my panties off and settles over me, sliding his fingers around and inside. Biting my lip, I watch and feel, reaching for his boxers.

My phone rings.

"Damn," I cry, panting. "I bet that's my Mom..."

I grab my phone from the floor, where it fell at some point. Meanwhile, Edward pushes his underwear off.

"Hello?"

"Bella, honey, did you two get lost?"

Blushing, I close my eyes. Edward pauses, and then starts pushing in to me. I smack his chest, trying to get him to stop. He _would_ get off on this...

"No, Mom. We're coming."

Edward snorts at that, and then enters me completely.

"Hm. Well, you might want to hurry. Charlie's getting hungry and his game's just about done. I put extra whiskey in to his last coffee, but...you know how ornery he gets."

"Mkay," I gasp. "Bye."

I hang up before she can say anything else, glaring at Edward. Well, kind of glaring. It probably looks like a lusty entreaty for more. "Do you know...how hard...it is...to talk...with someone doing that?"

"Then don't talk..._baby_," he grunts, smiling and swooping down to close his mouth over mine.

"Ugh," I moan. But really, if he keeps on doing what he's doing, he can call me whatever he wants.

He pulls out and sits back, arranging me on top the way I was before, only now our bottoms are bare. I lower down, holding on to the seat back behind him.

"You're such a good girl," he whispers shakily. "I didn't think you'd be in to outdoor sex..."

"We're not outdoors," I say, moving faster. I'm so close...

He holds my hips and rams up in to me, and I'm gone.

* * *

Renee gives me a look when we get back. "Give me the groceries. I'll get started while you..." Her eyes flit between me and Edward. "Oh for God's sake, Bella." She grabs the bags and hurries to the kitchen.

Charlie's passed out on the couch. My mother, God bless her, totally got him drunk.

After I clean up, Edward goes to take a shower. He's got an excuse, at least, having traveled earlier. I join Renee in the kitchen, where she's doing her best to prep for dinner. She's surrounded by food items.

"I have no idea what you needed, so..."

"No, this is fine, Mom. Thanks." I smile at her, kissing her cheek.

"Mhm. Well. I must say, Edward's a good influence."

I cough, nearly spewing my sip of water. "What?"

"You heard me." She cocks her head, smiling, and pushes my hair back behind my ear. "You've really lightened up since the last time I saw you. That's good. You've always been an old soul, and I love that about you...but sometimes I worried."

"I know." Sighing, I start browning the meat for the lasagna. "He definitely makes me happy, though."

"He's nothing like the other boys."

"That's for sure." I snort.

"While we're on this topic, Bella Marie, I hope you two are being safe. I don't doubt he'd make beautiful babies, but I'm too young to be a grandma."

_I die._

* * *

**_*Ghost Runner - Badlands Trio_**


	68. Cap

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**Story - Appease**_

_**Prompt - cap**_

_**NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

We're barely back from Thanksgiving break when December pops up, Christmas looming just over the nearly-here horizon. Cold days blur by in a frenzy of school work and scarves, missing mittens and hot chocolate. I have a paper due right before Christmas break, which I devote most of my time to when I'm not with Irina and Alistair.

Classes keep Edward busy as well, though, so we're on the same page. We both look forward to the slivers of time we spend together here and there, and we definitely can't wait until the holidays, but we both understand that this is what we signed up for. Our degrees come first. Or, in my case, the children and my degree.

"So, what do you want for Christmas?" I ask the twins, one morning on the way to school.

"I want the new iPhone," Irina says, not missing a beat.

I purse my lips so I don't say what I really want to, and focus my attention on Alistair. He shrugs.

"I don't know."

"I hope we go to Rockefeller Center to go ice skating with Daddy," Irina gushes, her cheeks bright with chilly excitement. "Remembering when Doris brought us last year, Al?"

"Yeah." He nods, chewing his thumb nail as he gazes out the window.

Doris was the nanny who preceded me. A real Ms. Doubtfire type; apparently, and I know this only because of Alice, she quit because of a difference of opinion with Tanya. No surprise there, although it saddens me that she couldn't stick it out for the kids.

"Have you been?" Irina asks me.

I shake my head. "No. I've...well, I've passed by, but I've never gone myself."

"You should go. Maybe Edward will take you."

"Maybe," I echo, wondering why Alistair is so quiet this morning. It could be anything, I guess; he could just be tired.

Eleazar pulls up to the curb and opens the door to let the children out. I adjust Alistair's cap, sweeping the blond fringe of hair from of his eyes. He's so cute; I can only imagine what he'll look like as he gets older.

"You okay, buddy?" I ask him quietly, holding him back a bit.

He nods, giving me a tentative smile. "Bye, Bella."

* * *

I tuck my feet up under me, still cold. Edward turned the heat up the moment we walked in the door, but it's taking a while to warm up.

It's late, nearly midnight, and I'm running on fumes. The past couple of days have been devoted to studying. Whereas things only get easier for the twins as Christmas vacation approaches, it only gets harder for me. My mid-terms are in a couple of days, and every free moment I've had has been spent with my nose in a book.

I'm a little burnt out. We both are, which is why Edward finally had the tantrum we've both been wanting to have. After a couple of texts, he showed up at Bobst library, where I was half hidden beneath a pile of textbooks and notes.

"How'd you know where I was?" I'd asked, blinking blearily up at him.

"You almost always sit back here. And," he starts to smirk, but then yawns instead, "I got this girl who knows you...she was restocking...to tell me. She said she'd seen you..."

He'd helped me pack up, and we'd gone for a late-late dinner at this Thai place he knew I loved.

And now we're here, at the loft. I feel like I haven't been here in forever, even though it's only been a week or two.

Edward tosses a big, thick blanket over my legs and sits down beside me.

"Hey," he sighs, running his hands through his hair. He hasn't shaved in a couple of days, by the looks of things.

"Hey." I lean over to kiss his cheek.

Eyes closed, he smiles. "Missed you."

"Missed you too..."

"I saw the pictures," he says, head lolling to the side so he can look at me. "Of you and Dad with the twins at Rockefeller."

"Oh, yeah." I nod, smiling at the memory. "I didn't really skate...I kind of just went so your father would have help. He's a little clueless for a man with four children."

Edward snorts. "Thats because there are always nannies to help."

"Your mom was around, too," I say, nodding.

"Yeah. So in that case it was my mother and a couple of part time nannies. But you know the twins don't have that, so..."

"He's trying, Edward."

"I know." He sits up, leaning his elbows on his thighs.

A moment goes by, and then Edward is shaking me. "Let's go to bed."

My eyes pop open. I didn't even feel myself falling asleep. "Mm. Okay. I have to be up early, though..."

"I know." He hauls me to my feet. "I'll take you home myself. I just...I want you here. Tonight."

Yawning, I stumble after him, to his bed, and fall in to it. I kick my shoes off and then curl up, sighing contentedly into the fluffiness. Edward follows seconds after, his still-cool hands finding me and pulling me close.

"I wish I could have you here every night," he murmurs, already sounding half asleep.

In the morning, we wake up early enough to take a warm shower together. Winter weather tends to dry my skin out, so I slather on some of Edward's expensive lotion. It smells masculine and fresh, and every time I catch a whiff of it I smile because it reminds me of _him_.

I change back at the penthouse and meet the twins in the kitchen, where they're just standing up, still wiping the milk mustaches from their upper lips. Mrs. Cope grins over at me, holding up a spatula.

"Have you time for eggs, sweetheart?"

"Not today, but thank you," I say, truly regretful. No one does breakfast like Mrs. Cope.

"Can we have breakfast for dinner tonight?" Alistair asks, carrying his plate to the sink. "Please?"

"We'll see," she says, but we all know she'll oblige.

I hurry the twins along through showers and tooth-brushing and hair combing and dressing, managing somehow to get out the door on time. All the while I'm thinking of my exams tomorrow, of today's study group at one, of Charlie coming in the next few weeks, of Edward. Edward right now, Edward in general. There's so much on my plate right these days. I remember now why I avoided serious relationships before. And yet, I don't know, oddly, how I'd do this without Edward.

Only when we're on the road with Eleazar do I relax.

_Just a few more days of this and then...Christmas break._

* * *

"You can look now," Edward's voice whispers, right at my ear.

I open my eyes slowly, blinking at the soft, grey glow of Rockefeller Center at twilight. Smiling, I slide over to the door and get out of the cab, securing my coat tightly against the sharp night air.

Edward pays the driver and then joins me, taking my hand. "You didn't get to go skating much last time, right?"

I shake my head, biting my lip. "No."

"Do you...you know how to ice skate, right?"

"Yeah." I laugh quietly.

He nods. We look at each other for a second, eyes searching, hearts loving. Tonight, we're celebrating the end of the semester tonight. I took my last mid-term yesterday, and Edward took his today.

Now we have the next couple of weeks to just...be. I know it's still going to be hectic, between watching the twins, Christmas shopping, and Charlie's visit, but I'm looking forward to it.

We make our way to the center, where we rent skates and step out on to the ice. There are loads of people around: squealing children, elderly couples, show-offs, solitary types...I'm a little rusty at first, but as the minutes pass I remember.

Edward and I whirl around the ice like we're flying. Laughter fizzes out of me, like bubbles from a soda. I can't remember the last time I did something like this, that was just for me.

"I love it," I breathe, the words coming out on their own.

"I knew you would," Edward says. "I hoped you would."

"I do..."

He skates so that he's facing me, holding both of my hands. We glide smoothly around a curve, our breath frosting the air.

Edward lets go of one hand and reaches in to his pocket. Our lack of movement brings us to a gradual stop, and I grip his coat to help keep my balance.

"I was going to wait until Christmas...but I figured this was soon enough." He hands me a little box with a bow. Even a non-native New Yorker like me recognizes the signature blue of Tiffany's.

My heart skips a beat, and I open the box quickly to assuage my anxiety.

A little silver key ring, heart shaped, is inside, with a regular key attached to it. It's pretty, sweetly simple.

"So...I know you want to wait to move in. Until we're more..." he runs his hands nervously through his hair, "committed. But I want you to have this, so that you can come and go whenever you want." His eyes meet mine. "I want you to feel like my home is your home, too."

Nodding, I carefully close the box and slide it in to the inner pocket of my coat, waiting to speak until I've caught my breath.

"Thank you," I whisper, holding his lapels.

"Do you like it? Is it okay?"

"I love it," I say, pressing close. "I love it. Thank you.." Overwhelmed, I stretch to kiss him, nearly slipping in my zeal. He smiles, red-cheeked and relieved, and wraps arms around me.

Snow begins to fall, floating from an opaque sky.

* * *

_**wrapping up now...just a few more chapters. maybe 2?**_

*_**Helios - Bounce Dive**_


	69. Hose

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**Story - Appease**_

_**Prompt - hose**_

_**NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

_6 months later_

* * *

"Hurry or we'll be late," I say, standing in the doorway to Irina's room. She scurries around, searching under blankets and behind pillows.

"I just had it!" she wails. "I need it!"

"You don't need it," I say, sighing. "I'm going leave you here with Mrs. Cope."

Ever since Irina and Alistair got brand new iPhones for their birthday, they've been addicted to the damn things. Temple Run, Angry Birds, blah blah blah. I still think it's ridiculous that they have them at all, but what do I know? I'm just the nanny.

Alistair swaggers out of his bedroom with his friend, a kid named Avery. They got pretty close during the school year, and now that they're out on summer break, they've been begging to hang out. I oversee play-dates...or whatever it is you'd call two nine year olds chillin'...several times a week.

As for Irina, she's still pretty attached to going swimming at her friend's pool, but she has different friends over as well. She's the social butterfly to Alistair's mellowness. He has one or two main friends, she has about ten.

"You guys ready?" I ask.

"Yeah." Alistair nods, patting the pocket holding his phone. I fight to keep from rolling my eyes. I mean really. Who, besides their parents, siblings and me, would they call? Anyway...

"Found it!" Irina cries triumphantly, brandishing the pink-cased phone as she dashes from her room. "Now we can go."

Outside, it's hot as Hades. I hurry the kids in to the back of the car, where Eleazar is waiting with the door open.

"'Sup, Mr. El?" I tease.

He smirks. "Not a thing, Bella. Not a thing. I was beginning to think you'd changed your mind."

"Irina," I huff. "And her phone."

He nods in understanding and shuts the door. We go through this all the time. I notice that Avery is sitting between Irina and Alistair, and that though he's listening intently to his friend, his hand and Irina's are just touching on the seat between them. I peek up at Irina, and sure enough, her cheeks are bright pink as she stares out the window.

Interesting. I'll have to keep an eye on those two, especially since Avery is supposed to be staying with us the Hamptons this year, for the fourth of July.

My phone buzzes.

_Where are you guys?_

_Almost there. Running late, sorry xoxo_

_ok. i'll grab treats._

_ok._

_mike n ikes?_

I smother a laugh. _U know what I like._

We get to the movies about ten minutes later. I thank Eleazar as we slide out, letting him know we'll probably just cab it home afterward.

Edward grins when he sees us, his arms full of soda, candy and popcorn.

"You got me chocolate, right?" I whisper, kissing him.

He nods, handing the kids their snacks. "Of course."

We file in to the darkened theatre, just in time to catch the last of the previews. As I sit down, Edward's arm wrapped around me, it's not hard to remember the last time we came to this particular cinema, back when we were still new.

* * *

Edward and I finished our respective school years within days of one another. I'd managed to maintain a solid 3.5, the result of endless studying and focus. It really helped having both a steady job –I didn't have to worry about housing, finances or even food – and a boyfriend who was just as devoted to academics as I was. For me, it was all about doing what I needed to reach my goals, to better my future prospects. For Edward, it was about not letting his father down, but that wasn't all it was. I'd worried initially that Edward was simply following in Mr. Masen's footsteps because it was expected of him, but as time went on I realized he actually _wanted_ to work in finance. The concept of continuing the legacy his father had established excited him, and he wanted to prepare himself for the day he'd be an employee...and eventually, the CEO of Masen Financial.

Mr. Masen and Tanya had finalized their divorce in April. It hadn't been pleasant, but the drama had been kept to a minimum. Apparently, before getting married, Tanya had signed all sorts of pre-nups and papers that prohibited her from acting out too much in the event that they split up. The courts awarded joint custody, but after a series of meetings between the Masens and their children, it was decided that the twins would continue on at the Dakota, with weekly visits to their mother. Sometimes they went more often; it depended on everyone's schedule. Needless to say, Tanya couldn't stand me, but I did my best to accommodate her wishes to see the kids, and theirs to see her. She might have been a lousy mother, but she was the only one they had and life's too short for hatred and grudges.

She mellowed out some, eventually, probably because she was getting it on the regular from Laurent. She didn't have to sneak around anymore, the skank.

Irina bounced back rather quickly. She's effusive, so talking through her feelings, and receiving comfort when she needed it, was natural. Alistair had more work to do, and eventually, Mr. Masen arranged for him to have a weekly counseling session.

He also continued spending more time with his children...all four of them. Time might not heal _all_ wounds, but it certainly helps a lot. Even Alice has thawed out considerably. I hadn't realized just how much she'd been holding in until she began letting go of it.

It made me appreciate my own parents. They weren't perfect, and they'd split up when I was a kid, but they'd kept things civil, and there had never been any doubt that they loved me.

* * *

Mr. Masen smiles apologetically, leaning in to the car. He's supposed to come with us to the Hamptons, but a last minute issue at work is keeping him behind until tonight.

"I promise I'll be there a little later on, okay?"

I nod, glancing at the kids. They seem okay, but it could be that they're used to stuff like this. He definitely prioritizes them way more than he used to, but things like this still happen.

"It's cool," Alistair says, nodding. "Just...don't miss dinner."

"I won't," he promises, ruffling his son's hair.

Irina gives him a kiss and then we're off, leaving the hot mugginess of the city for the hopefully cooler ocean breezes of Southampton. I text Edward to let him know we're heading out. He and Alice are coming out this year; Alice and Jasper are staying in the guesthouse at the edge of the property, but Edward will be in the main house with us.

They haven't stayed in the beach house since they were kids, so, it's kind of monumental.

Alistair and Irina's friends will be joining us toward the end of the week, but these first few days are devoted toward family. I might be even more excited for the Masen kids than they are.

Edward beats us to the house, not surprisingly. Any time he gets to drive the Aston Martin, especially out of the city, he goes crazy. The twins tackle him when they see him, not having expected him until tomorrow.

"It''s nice to not have to sneak around," I say later, as Edward watches me unpack. His bedroom is down the hall.

"Oh, we'll still do things that will require sneaking," he says, smirking.

"Behave," I say, kind of hoping he doesn't.

"Let me help you in to this," he says, when he sees one of my bikinis fall out of my bag.

"Edward," I laugh, cringing away from his tickles and gropes.

"Can we go swimming now?" Irina asks from the other side of the door.

"Yeah, give me a minute," I call back.

"Well hurry!" she cries, her footsteps echoing away. "It's getting late."

It's hardly two, but I know this is a big deal for the twins. They've been looking forward to coming for weeks, and honestly, so have I.

Edward sits on the bed, watching as I change. It's nothing he hasn't seen, repeatedly, but his gaze still makes me warm. I feel his fingers trail across my belly as I pull a lighter t-shirt down over my head.

He pulls me to stand between his legs, and I go willingly. Being close to him is...essential. Our busy school year was full of late nights and stolen moments between classes, constant texting and quickie phone calls, but it added up. I can't imagine my life without Edward.

I lean down to kiss him, running my fingers through his hair.

"You realize it's been a year, almost?" he murmurs, leaving little kisses against the corners of my mouth.

"Since we hooked up?"

"Mhm."

"I realize," I say, smiling a little. Sometimes, he still makes my heart skip.

We kiss again, slow, lingering. Sunlight sills through the window across the room, making everything gold and sweet.

"I think James and Victoria are throwing a party at her parent's place again," he says after awhile.

I nod, stepping back to knot my hair in to a bun. "Okay."

"You want to go?"

"Sure. When is it?"

"Thursday or Friday. Not sure yet."

It's Monday, so that gives us a couple of days to relax before the social engagements start. I realized pretty early on that being Edward Masen's girlfriend meant being seen and _on the scene_ a lot more than I'd ever imagined, but it wasn't that bad. I'll never be as big a drinker or partier as some of those kids, but I enjoy myself. I have my own group that I'm comfortable with – Alice and Victoria, even James. In fact, that's why I don't mind going to this party; it'll be held by people I know and like.

"Sounds fun." I nod toward the door. "But right now we need to go hang with Irina and Alistair."

* * *

Mr. Masen keeps his promise and arrives right as the sun begins sinking.

I've just asked the twins to set the table when he walks in, casual in khakis and a polo.

"Hi, Mr. Masen," I say, giving him a wave. Sue welcomes him with a mojito, which tickles me, and Carmen announces that he made it just in time as she takes a huge pan of garlic bread out of the oven. I think they're secretly relieved the "Mrs." is gone.

Dinner's a mellow affair, and it makes me realize how stilted things were back when Tanya was in the picture. Of course I hate that Irina and Alistair are now statistics, just like me, the children of a failed marriage, but it's so obvious that things are better now. Calmer.

Even Mr. Masen seems more engaged, although that could just be a concerted effort on his part to be present for his kids and not mentally elsewhere.

"I want a slip and slide," Irina says, talking with her mouth full.

I don't bother chastising her; she's already swallowed and gone full speed in to her plans. "Regan's cousin has one in White Plains and they play on it all the time...Regan's brother put soap on it one time and flew so fast he hit a tree and sprained his finger..."

"There's that hose by the pool the gardener uses to water the plants...maybe we can use that," Alistair interrupts, looking at his father.

"Edward says you guys had one when a long time ago," Irina adds.

"We might still have it," Mr. Masen says, twirling spaghetti on to his fork. "I'll check the garage tomorrow."

"You'll do it, right, Bella?" Alistair asks, smiling.

"Uh, maybe..." _My poor boobs._

After dinner, we watch movies until the kids pass out, and then Edward and I go for a walk on the beach.

He tucks me in to one of his Dartmouth fleeces, and kisses me in the sand.

"Imagine if this was us," he says, flopping on to his back, staring up at the stars.

"This _is_ us," I say, snuggling close.

"I mean..."

"I know what you mean."

He pushes me on to my back. "Smart ass."

"You love my ass," I giggle, tugging at his ears.

"Look at you. I knew I saw you sneaking a second glass of wine at dinner..."

"Anyway..." I kiss him. "I'll never be a society wife, Edward."

"Don't be a snob."

"I'm not!" I laugh, flipping him on to his back so I can sit on him. "I'm just saying."

"My mother is a society wife," he says, poking me.

"That's true. I love Esme."

"I know you do," he says. "Anyway, wouldn't we have to be married for you to be a society wife?"

I purse my lips, knowing he's messing with me now. "Edward."

"All I said was, imagine if this was us."

Leaning forward, I lie flat on top of him, resting my head on his chest. He tangles his fingers in my wind-tossed hair.

"I can imagine."

* * *

_**Another Day on the Terrace (Chill Mix) - Sunlounger **_


	70. Toss

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**Story - Appease**_

_**Prompt - toss**_

_**NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

I know there's no such thing as perfection, but that's hard to remember when everything is this simple, relaxed and...well, perfect: sunshine and sandcastles by day, sparklers, s'mores and stargazing by night. Irina and Alistair's friends join us later in the week, and on the 4th of July, along with Jasper and Alice, we have a huge barbeque. Mr. Masen even invites friends of his own, a couple of families who reside in Southampton all year long. Instead of going to the country club, we watch the several sets of fireworks from the comfort of our deck.

A little later we leave the twins with their father and drive down the road to another kind of get-together.

James and Victoria's 4th of July party is a perfect replica of last year's, right down to the half dressed people in the pool and groupies clustered around pretty, smoking boys. Well, that's a difference, I suppose: Edward's no longer one of those boys. He doesn't smoke like he used to, either, though he hasn't quite succeeded in quitting.

I'm sitting with him, Alice, and Jasper when I see someone who seems familiar; a moment later I recognize her as Last Year's Brunette. She strides past with a couple of girls, eyes flickering to us just long enough for me to know for sure that she remembers Edward, and maybe me, too.

I'm not sure how I remember her so clearly. It might be because that whole evening is burned in to my brain. It was the night Edward and I first kissed, the night I finally gave in to the pulling I'd been feeling –and running from –since the day we'd met.

"You want another one?" Edward asks, motioning to my nearly-done cocktail. Victoria made it. It's blue; that's about all I know. She respects that I don't like getting drunk, so she made it weak, but it's still enough for me to feel a little tipsy.

"No, I'm okay." I smile, kissing his cheek. "Thanks, though."

Nodding, he squeezes my knee and gets up, presumably to refill his own cup.

I'm chatting with Alice for awhile when I realize Edward's been gone for kind of awhile. I have to pee, anyway, so I excuse myself, pushing through the crowd toward the sliding glass doors. Memories of being inside of this house with Edward hit me hard, and for a second, I'm almost overwhelmed.

So much has happened in the past year.

I use the bathroom as quickly as I can so the next girl in line can go. She looks like she's about to toss her cookies and I'm sure the last thing Victoria needs is to be cleaning vomit off the hallway floor tomorrow morning.

"...but...shh...don't..." Voices float down from the second story. "...she...no..."

Frowning, I pause in the darkness. It sounds like Edward. He must be standing near the staircase up there, because while music from outside makes it hard to hear, he's still pretty audible.

A giggle, and then more shushing. I wipe my hands over the front of my dress, realizing that I'm sweating.

I trust him. I've learned to.

But situations like this do nothing but play on my insecurities, and on the weakest parts of our relationship's history. My heart pounds wildly, and I know that if I don't go up there right now, I'm going to lose my mind.

Swallowing, I follow the hushed murmurs until I can see who he's talking to. It's Victoria.

She sees me before he does.

"Hey, Bella," she says brightly, elbowing Edward.

He spins around, already smiling.

I'm confused; they don't look caught or anything. I must be misreading this. "You've been gone..." I mumble, stepping back.

"Yeah, I just had to talk to Vic real quick," he says, nodding. The smile fades from his face as he realizes that I'm looking a little off. "What...are you okay?"

I look from his face to hers, trying to discern what I'm seeing, but honestly, there isn't much to see. They look concerned about me, not guilty, and anyway, the concept of _these _two fooling around is nothing short of ludicrous. It's just...weird, I guess.

"I'm fine. I'll be downstairs," I say eventually. I jog back down the steps, anxious to return to Alice and the fresh, night air.

Edward's at my side within minutes.

"You sure you're okay?" he asks.

I nod, patting his knee.

It's as if that bizarre little interlude on the stairwell didn't even happen, and a voice inside my head warns me not to become that girl, the jealous, suspicious type.

He settles back into the couch, arm around me, drawing me close to his side.

"Fireworks soon," he says, his whisper close. "It's supposed to be a crazy show this year."

I nod, kicking my sandals off so that I can bring my feet up and tuck closer against Edward. "I bet. Last year was pretty spectacular."

"I didn't even know you were here til halfway through it," he says. "I looked over and there you were."

"Well, I'd already seen you."

"I knew you had."

"How'd you know?"

"Because you were trying _so hard_ not to look at me."

I laugh, pinching his side. "So vain."

"Not vain, just honest," he says, tilting my face up so he can kiss me.

It's easy to lose myself in it. I can still hear the music and laughter, the conversations humming all around us, but all I feel is Edward. And not just against my mouth, but in every part of me.

And I know, just like that, we're fine. We always have been, and we probably always will be.

"I love you," I say when he pulls back. I really do, so much. It pumps from my heart like blood, nourishing the rest of me. It's losing myself, but finding it in him, too.

He nods seriously, eyes searching mine. "I love you too."

The fireworks start. We turn our faces to the sky, watching the elaborate show, which, just as Edward said, is even more out of control than last year. The explosions are set to music, which I didn't even think was possible, and everyone's cheering and singing along.

Suddenly there's a pause between songs, the sky empty except for residual smoke, and then the grand finale. It's non-stop for about three or four minutes, beautiful and overwhelming.

Edward takes my hand, and I look at him, smiling. He leans close, putting his mouth to my ear.

"I want to spend every 4th like this," he says.

"Me too," I laugh, a little choked up by how intense the fireworks were.

"Every fourth," he repeats.

I look up sharply, and we gaze at each other for a long moment. He's saying a lot more than the words he just uttered. He leans down and kisses me again. "Do you?"

I bite my lip and look down, nodding. "Yeah."

He stands up, reaching for me. My heart's racing again, but for a different reason than earlier. Suddenly I'm not sure of anything anymore, what I thought I saw earlier, or what Edward was just saying to me, or if he's going to do what I think he's going to do.

"Come with me?" he asks.

I stand up, smoothing the back of my skirt, and slip back in to my shoes. Alice is talking closely with Jasper, but she smiles a little when our eyes meet, blowing me a kiss.

"Love you," she mouths before turning back to her boy.

Shaking my head, I grin and look away, following Edward through the crowd. He leads me to the gate and down a couple of steps, on to a path lined by beach grass. The sand is cool, and it dusts in to my sandals as the sounds of the party drift away, replaced by the quiet rush of black waves.

The whole night is surreal, from the milky moon to whatever's going down between Edward and me. He stops and looks down at me.

"I've had this conversation with you about a hundred in my head and you say something different every time, so..." He lets go of me, running his hands through his hair. "I'm just gonna say it, because it's all I can think about lately."

He peeks up at me. I'm sort of frozen in place, waiting for him to continue.

"Bella, my life hasn't been the same since you walked in to it. At all. And yeah, you _do_ make me want to be a better man. I can't see a future without you in it and I just...I want to be with you. Always. Will you marry me? Please?"

I gasp, looking down at my hands, where he's laying a ring.

"And we can wait. I don't want to rush you. I thought maybe after you graduate next year –"

"Shh, shh," I say, dangerously close to crying as I cup his face between my palms. "Yes..."

He melts in to me, kissing me like crazy, fumbling between us to get that ring on my finger before it falls to the sand.

"I'm so glad you said yes," he says, voice shaky and relieved. "I wasn't sure...which is why I ruled out a public proposal..."

I'm laughing, in happiness but also at his rambling, which I've never, ever witnessed. Edward's always so cool and collected.

"I love you, Edward. I always will," I say, kissing him again.

I don't know how, but suddenly the night erupts in fireworks, again, all pink and red and purple reflecting over the water. I scream, throwing myself in to Edward's arms. "Did you do this?" I cry, startled but giddy.

He nods, holding up his phone, where I see a text...to Victoria.

_She said yes_

* * *

"I feel so bad I suspected you," I whisper, wiping tears from my cheeks. "You've been just...perfect. And I love you. I won't ever doubt you again."

"It's okay," he chuckles. "It did look kind of shady, I guess. I was wondering why you looked so freaked out; I thought you were drunk or something."

"Edward." I kick him under the comforter. We're in my bed, naked and fooling around, trying to keep quiet.

"I know, I know...I'm just saying."

"Yeah, well. I should've known better." I run my hands over his back. "I _do_ know better."

We kiss again, and again, getting closer and closer until he's pushing me on to my back and sliding inside. It's the first time this week we've given in, but there's no other way I want to celebrate our engagement than by making love. I don't even want him to leave when we're done, but with the twins and Mr. Masen right down the hall, it would hardly be appropriate.

In the morning, we'll make an announcement at breakfast. I'm a little nervous, but Mr. Masen has been completely supportive our relationship, if not a little amused at how devoted Edward is. I guess there will be changes when we get back to the city, with special regard to our living situation. Edward's been trying to get me to move in forever, but I've always thought a commitment like that required an actual _commitment_. It wasn't something I took casually, and he understood that.

Now, though? I know he's in this for the long haul.

And so am I.

* * *

_**one more lil chapter mkay? love yous!**_

_**tiny tyrant sends bitter tears. not b/c he's sad this ending, but b/c he's probably spoiled. and, at a year old, incapable of expressing chagrin or pissiness any other way. siiiigh.**_


	71. Summer

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**Story - Appease**_

_**Prompt - summer**_

_**NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

"I heard he married the nanny..."

"His own nanny? Did he have children already? But he's so young!"

"Honestly, Mimi, keep up. The nanny Edward and Tanya used."

"Oh! Oh. Well. You know what they say..."

I don't know what "they" say, but that's all right, because none of these nitwits know who I am. So I smile, and nod, and look disgusted at all the right times. And I sip my spritzer, wondering how much longer we have until we can go.

"Isabella, right?" the redhead to my right asks. I'm not too sure about her, yet; she's been just as quiet as I have over the course of this insipid little pow-wow.

"Yes." I give her a pretty smile. "And you're Gianna?"

"Mm. What does your husband do?"

"He works in finance."

"Don't they all, darling?" titters Heidi, the gossipy blonde.

I give her my best fake smile and look around for Edward. He's only been gone for about twenty minutes, but it feels like it's been a small eternity. The moment we arrived, Mr. Masen called several of his best and brightest aside for a brief meeting in his study, so Edward had to go. I felt a little like I was being tossed to the sharks, but I think I've held my own so far.

"Isn't that him?" whispers Mimi suddenly, standing a little straighter. Her fake, flawless breasts stand at attention, but the effect is muted because of the modest cardigan she's wearing over her sundress.

I whip my head around, looking to see who she's talking about. Sure enough, the men are back, and Edward is without a doubt the shining star of the group, his easy smile and messy hair setting him apart.

My heart skips double time, thinking about the wake up sex this morning, his wandering hands in the car on the way here, the promises we made...

"Yes! Yes, it is. He looks even better now than he did in high school. You know I dated him briefly," Heidi says smugly.

"He allowed you to fellate him in your father's library, you mean," Gianna says, smirking.

Heidi shrugs, waving her off. "Semantics."

I wait for the burn of jealousy, but it never comes. Instead, I feel vaguely sorry for these women. The three of them are barely older than I am, but they're already mired down in dissatisfaction and ennui –not with just their marriages, but their lives in general.

Me? I'm not sure when I've ever been more content. I celebrated the first year of _my_ marriage to Edward last month with a long weekend in the Bahamas.

Speaking of beachy getaways, we have our own place in the Hamptons now, minutes away from his father's beach house. In fact, we go as much as we can, often bringing Alistair and Irina along if Mr. Masen can't make it himself.

I am, after all, their nanny.

But today we're here on business, sort of. It's the annual luncheon thrown every year by Masen Financial. It's a bit stuffy and pretentious, but the scenery's nice and the food is to die for. I'm mentally debating whether I should have another cocktail when my acquaintance fall silent. Heidi's eyes widen slightly, and then I feel a warm hand sliding against mine. I look over my shoulder and there he is, my own personal little playboy.

"Hey," I breathe. "All done?"

"Yeah. Come with me; I have someone I want you to meet." His eyes drift to the trio of women behind me. "Heidi, Gianna, Mimi. Good to see you, as always."

I grin, unable to suppress my inner glee as he starts to pull me away.

"Fellatio in the library is good," I faux-whisper to Heidi especially, enjoying the pink splotches appearing on her cheeks. "But it's even better when he returns the favor. In every other room."

* * *

We're sitting side by side, at a little table overlooking the water.

His father has been a member of this country club for as long as Edward can remember, and now they want him to join as well. We got the invitation in the mail right before we drove out this morning.

"It's just my name," he sighs, popping another hors d'oeuvre in to his mouth. "They could care less about what I've actually done, you know?"

"Does that bother you?" I ask quietly, hooking my ankle around his beneath the table.

"Not really." He leans back in his chair. "But I don't want to join."

I nod, unsurprised. Edward and I are pretty laid back when it comes to our social life. He's almost done with graduate school now, but he also interns at Masen Financial, so private time is scarce. Any time he does has off, we try to spend together. We value our alone time –we understand the possible consequences of not putting our marriage first –but we're not total hermits. Besides the occasional dinners and parties his father's firm throws, like this one, most of our time spent out is with small groups of close friends, like the newly-engaged James and Victoria. And of course, there's Alice and Jasper, who, after having split for nearly a year, are back together and more solid than ever. A typical Saturday evening finds us at Locanda Verde or ABC Kitchen, savoring both the food and the company.

I also like having people over for dinner at the loft. It's a mellow affair, but still satisfying nonetheless. When Edward lived there by himself, his kitchen remained untouched. My very first night I made pizza from scratch. He was skeptical about that, being a New Yorker and therefore well versed in pizza, but I pretty much knocked his socks off. And I've christened that kitchen many times over since then.

I check my watch, squinting in the sunlight. Because Mr. Masen and myself are both here, Tanya has the kids for the weekend. She's gotten better over time; less caustic toward Edward and me, more attentive toward the twins. She'll never be Mom of the Year, but I'm just glad she's around. I'm also glad she was selfless enough to realize that they really are better off with their father, for the most part.

The twins hang out with us a lot, having sleepovers and movie nights. We set up one of the guest bedrooms as theirs, complete with a bunk bed and everything. They'll probably have to give it up when Edward and I decide to get pregnant, but for now, it's all theirs.

I never gave up my position as the twin's nanny. Mr. Masen offered, after the wedding, to let me go, but I refused...for sentimental reasons. I'm as attached to them as they are to me. Not only have they been my longest standing charges, but now they're also my brother and sister in law. Staying on as their nanny seems natural.

Besides, time passes fast. In a few years they'll be in high school, and they won't really need to be taken care of anymore. They'll always be in my life, thank God, but in a different capacity.

"You're thinking about the twins, aren't you?" Edward asks, settling his arm along the back of my chair. "They're fine, you know."

"I know," I say, nodding. "It's just...automatic I guess."

He smiles a little. "You'll be a great mom one day."

"And you'll be an amazing dad."

His eyes shift to the ocean, and his runs a hand through his hair. "Yeah, I hope so."

"You will be. I see how you are with the twins, and you're just...way too self aware to be absent all the time. You know what to do, Edward." I rest my hand on his knee, and he puts his over it.

For awhile we just sit, enjoying summer in Southampton, the softly briny scent of the ocean, the constant breeze cooling offsetting the warmth.

"Ah, there you are my boy." An older man with a salt and pepper beard pauses next to us, grinning. "I've been meaning to sit down with you..."

Edward glances apologetically at me before focusing fully on the gentlemen.

It isn't the first time this has happened to day, and it won't be the last.

And yet, I'm okay with it.

* * *

Back in the city, the weeks pass quickly, hurtling us toward autumn. My days are spend with the children, Edward's are spent in an office. We come together at night and on weekends, and sometimes more if we can make time.

"I was thinking of lightening up these window treatments," I muse one morning, touching the grey blinds in the bedroom. They're classy, and understated, and were probably ridiculously expensive, but I feel like I want something airier for the bedroom.

"Oh no you don't," Edward says. "There's only so much feminizing I can put up with. Next there'll be a pink rug around the toilet and tampons beneath the sink."

"There already are tampons beneath the sink."

"You know what I mean."

"All I'm saying is...lightening things up. Subtly."

He watches me dubiously.

"You gave me full reign over the beach house and look how nice that turned out," I remind him.

Arching an eyebrow, he peers at me from over top the New York Times. It makes him look all scholarly and mature...but then the bare chest and loose sweatpants tell a different story. It makes me a little frisky.

I cross the bedroom to where he's propped up in bed, reading, and pluck the newspaper put of his hands. He pretends to regard me sternly, but he's totally sporting a boner as I climb on to his lap.

Rocking slowly, back and forth, I unbutton the shirt I'm wearing. It's his; he was wearing it when he came home last night. It had been late, so I'd fed him in bed.

And then we'd had sleepy sex until we both passed out.

"You're not too tired, are you?" I murmur, leaning forward to kiss his ear.

Sliding the sleeves off my shoulders and down my arms, he says, "no."

His arms wrap around me then, hands splayed across my back. We kiss, letting it deepen in to desperation, and then I rise up just enough to pull his sweats off.

Reaching up, he tangles his fingers in my already tangled hair, gazing at me in this way that both romances and arouses.

And then he smiles. "Practically perfect in every way."

* * *

**the end**

* * *

**your reviews, tweets & messages for both brighter and Appease really meant the world to me.. many, many thanks.**

**i'm taking a few days off. will finish Glimmer Darkly. then i'll write a really short (6-1o chapter) story to finish off this round of WitFits.**

**on another, more serious note, my mom was diagnosed today with breast cancer. it's treatable, but really scary, so we're just kind of...going through it right now. please pray for us. i'd appreciate that. for those of you that reached out on twitter, know that my heart is so full with the love and friendship you've shown tonight. thank you.**


	72. Venture

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**Story - Venture**_

_**Word Prompt: Venture**_

_**Plot Generator—Idea Completion: Too much of a good thing.**_

_**NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

Rosalie gave me another small shove. "Go on, now. You'll be fine!"

I tried to ignore the way her voice wavered there at the end, afraid that if I acknowledged it, I'd tear up too. "I'm going, I'm going..."

"Just...call when you stop."

"I'll call before then..."

"It's almost eleven," she laughed. "The other passengers'll probably be trying to sleep."

I finally looked up at her. Her blonde hair was up in a loose bun, golden wisps escaping around her flushed face. Only Rosalie could be beautiful in a bus station, soft and sweet amongst chaos.

"Then I'll text you," I said, swallowing.

Her face twisted in to a grimace-y smile, and she threw her arms around me. "'kay," she whispered. Her sweet pea scent engulfed me, and I closed my eyes, breathing deep for memory's sake. Behind my eyelids I saw summertime: the sandy inside of her jeep, busted a/c allowing for open windows and beachy air. Lotion applied to sunburnt skin, homemade rocky road milkshakes, her dainty little pink bubbler...

"Go," she whispered now.

"Love you." I smiled, snatching up my bags as I backed away.

I could feel her watching me as I stood in line to board the bus, so I turned around to wave. She took a picture of me with her phone, sticking out her tongue as I rolled my eyes and grinned. I waited until I'd found a seat by a window, about three quarters of the way back, and then I took one of her. Only, it made me feel more like crying than laughing, her solemn face gazing back up at me, hands clasped beneath her chin like I was leaving her behind.

And I was. Only, she at least had Emmett. A job, a calico named Fiasco, and an apartment. Siblings two hours north and parents half an hour east.

I had forty dollars and a backpack. A phone, a journal.

And a bus ticket to Seattle, Washington.

As much as I'd liked Florida, it had always been an in-between sort of deal.

After a year of college in New York, there was no more financial aid to carry me, and neither of my parents had the funds to keep me there. I probably could have toughed it out a little longer, scraped by, but it wouldn't have done much. It would have kept me in New York, sure, but not at school. It was just too much, and I had too little.

Rose and I had grown up together in Forks, a tiny Washington town. In junior high, her father got a job near West Palm Beach, and they'd moved, breaking our hearts in the process. Over the years, though, she and I'd managed to stay close, managing to visit each other during summers and spring breaks. When my college plans fell through after that first year, she invited me to come and stay with her. She was going to community college during the year, but it was summer now, and she was just really loving life.

So I went. My frequent flyer miles afforded me one plane ticket, and I used it to get to her. We spent sundrenched days and breezy nights at the beach, working at this little boutique right across from the water. It was amazing...but I couldn't do it forever. Too much of a good thing could easily turn bad, as I'd seen from the numerous beach bum types littering the beach, stoners and party kids who'd never really matured past high school. And anyway, Rose would be returning to school come August. I needed to figure out how I was going to get back to that myself.

I couldn't bring myself to return to Forks. I loved it, and it would always be home, but everyone else had left for college, or in some cases, the navy or to travel the world. Going back after just one year would be depressing, like I'd failed. So when Alice, the best friend who'd gone just as far as Seattle, called to say her roommate had taken off, I took it as a sign. I'd be close to home, but not too close, and could qualify for residency, which would enable me to return to school.

My phone buzzed. I glanced down with a start, realizing I'd actually nodded off. It was Rose.

_Hope all's well. No smelly old men right?_

Chuffing quietly, I glanced around at the darkened bus. It was barely half full, and so the seat beside me was empty. For now, anyway.

_Nope. Not too crowded. All's well._

_k. going to sleep now. Miss u already_

_miss u too. Xoxo_

_xoxo_

Blinking back tears, I pocketed my phone and stared out the window, in to the black beyond. It was hard to get comfortable, but I had to at least try. My journey would take just over three days of nearly non-stop driving, stopping only to stretch, grab food, or switch drivers and buses.

Yawning, I shut my eyes and tried to rest.

I jolted awake, looking around. Outside, dawn had just barely begun to break, soft oranges and blues painting the horizon. I stared at the emptiness, somewhat soothed by its quiet. There was nothing around, nothing but grass and road and us. I didn't even know if we were still in Florida, or what time it was. I supposed maybe six, if the sun was about to come up.

So I'd been able to sleep, after all. I couldn't say I felt all that rested, but I felt okay. I'd dozed on and off for the first few hours before finally succumbing, but it was better than nothing.

The driver announced that we'd just entered Alabama, where we'd be stopping shortly. I shifted in my seat, anxious at the thought of de-boarding in a random little town. Stretching my legs and using a non-bus bathroom sounded great, though, so I'd just have to deal.

Daylight brightened slowly, illuminating the bus and making it feel a little warmer. I texted Rose once we'd stopped and I'd ventured outside, making sure to take a couple of kitschy photos of things, both for her and for me. They'd make great additions to my journal.

_Any hot guys?_

Snorting, I typed back,_ try married, old and cowboy hat wearing. One guy's reading Harlequins._

_Lol. Well it's only day 1._

Smiling, I shook my head. The chances of me finding someone between here and Seattle were so slim they were practically invisible.

* * *

_**this'll be a shorty, just enough to carry us through the end of june.**_

_**also, with regard to the news about my mom: you guys have touched and overwhelmed me with your love, tweets, reviews, messages, prayers, everything. so much love back at you. so much gratitude. truly. i'm humbled and so grateful. **_

_**xoxo**_


	73. Whet

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**Story - Venture**_

_**Word Prompts: Threat, sweat, whet**_

_**NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

Squinting against the intense Texan sun, I wiped sweat from my forehead and finished my water bottle.

The beginning of day two, and I was over it. I couldn't afford to think that way, though, not when I was just barely approaching the halfway point. I'd been trying to keep myself distracted with music and reading, as well as my journal. Thank God for my phone and the internet.

What did travelers do in the olde tymes? I shuddered just thinking about the miles of boredom.

Our bus driver of the moment ambled by, kicking up dust as he returned to the bus. He had to have been at least sixty. I wondered how long he'd been doing this. From his demeanor and the ever-serene expression on his face, I got the impression that he enjoyed his job, which was cool. I figured he'd probably seen every nook and cranny of this country by now.

Achy limbs and the need to shower aside, my trip was nowhere near as scary or awful as I'd imagined. Back when Alice had invited me back to Seattle, and I'd begun researching modes of transport, Greyhound buses were the absolute bottom of the barrel. As in, I wasn't so sure I'd go if _they_ paid _me._

I got off my high horse pretty soon when I saw that airfare and even traveling by train were outside my budget. I was especially bummed out about Amtrak; seeing the countryside by train sounded so, so magical. But it was too damned expensive, and in the end, I bought a bus ticket for under a hundred bucks.

One thing was for sure: I was getting great pictures and seeing the innards of tiny towns I'd never known existed. I felt like I was truly seeing America, and while I doubted I'd ever do this again, part of me was really enjoying myself.

The part of me that like baths was a little whiny, but I tried to ignore that part for the time being.

I stretched one last time, and then followed my fellow passengers back on to the bus. We'd stopped at a McDonalds this time, not a bus station, so no one got on or off. That was another thing I'd learned: the bus itself wasn't so bad...it was the bus _stations_ that tended to be shady. Some were okay, but others were smelly or creepy, either crowded with potential threats or eerily empty. I kept to myself when we stopped at those, my arms tight around my bags, face pressed to the window.

I'd been lucky though. The two buses we'd been on had working air conditioners and ran well. We'd passed several other buses on the way, stranded on the side of the road. A couple had been charter buses, but others had been Greyhounds, like ours. I prayed almost non-stop ours would continue on to Seattle without issue. We'd be changing drivers a few more times, but not buses.

As we pulled away from Fort Stockton, I fingered the little plastic baggie in my pocket. Rose had slipped a couple of pre-rolled joints in there right before I'd left, little going away gifts. I'd never been much of a smoker before going to stay with Rose, but she and her beach friends had certainly whet my appetite for it. We'd thought my bus ride would've gone smoother with the help of a little bud, but so far I hadn't seen any places that looked even remotely legit. The last thing I needed was to get arrested or left behind because I was too stoned to pay attention.

Texas took forever. It was the hugest state ever. I mean, I knew that from school, but actually journeying through it drove the point home more, no pun intended. It was pretty though, even the dry parts. Since leaving Florida we'd gone through Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, and now Texas. According to Google Maps, we were now headed northwest to New Mexico.

Yawning, with a belly full from my McDonalds indulgence, I settled down with a book.

* * *

We pulled in to Phoenix, Arizona, sometime during the night. I was so turned around I didn't know what time it was. It had to have been late, though, because the days were still summer-long.

This was a major hub, and a lot of people got off our bus. Anxious to see who was getting on, I fiddled with the strap on my bag. I had to sit next to people on and off throughout the trip, and I'd lucked out. A grandma, a guy who only spoke Spanish but slept most of the time anyway, and a really chatty girl who got on in Biloxi and de-boarded in Shreveport.

I hoped for an empty seat now, but as the bus filled steadily up I knew that I'd have to pick my bag up and allow someone to sit. Chewing my lip, I turned to the window. It was so dark outside I couldn't see anything but the lit up reflection of the inside of the bus I was in.

He was the last one on. I watched him for a moment, watched his impassive nonchalance turn to a frown as it became apparent that there was nowhere to sit...

I turned, motioning silently to my seat. Our eyes met, and he nodded, his relief obvious as he picked his way down the aisle to where I was sitting.

"Thanks," he said, grinning as he sat.

He smelled so good. Lucky bastard had probably just showered. Self conscious, I shrank as subtly away as possible, giving him a small smile. "No problem."

"Edward."

"Bella."

He nodded again, settling back, his legs sprawled in the tight space.

I side eyed him, doing a little inventory. Nice profile, straight nose. Pouty lips, a little chapped... like mine. Pale skin, brownish hair. Maybe. The garish, bright lighting made it hard tell. I peeked again. Auburn?

He chuckled quietly, and my eyes snapped down.

I couldn't be sure, but... I thought maybe he'd been side-eyeing me, too.

* * *

_**when i was 18, i took a greyhound from orlando, florida, to oakland, ca. it took 2 days and 21 hours. was it hard? yes. was it awful? nope. it was actually pretty neat. i didn't have a cell phone back then, though, or an iPod. i used my disc man (ha! the olde tymes indeed!) and kept my face stuck in my journal. i was also broke as a joke, so i lived off of gas station peanuts and water. and i pilfered post cards from every place we stopped.**_

_**good times.**_


	74. Plain

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**Story - Appease**_

_**Prompt - plain**_

_**NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

It looked like Edward was listening to music, so I popped my ear buds back in and did the same. I also sniffed surreptitiously at myself, hoping to God I didn't smell. I'd been brushing my teeth in public sinks...reapplying deodorant and changing shirts every day, usually in tiny stalls of fast food restrooms, but it wasn't the same as showering. Obviously.

And there was only so much coconut lime breeze lotion a girl could rock, you know?

Once I'd assured myself that I probably smelled fine, though, I settled back and stared out the window. The lights inside the bus had been turned back off, to allow people to sleep, and now I could see outside again. The brilliance of Phoenix's lights soon gave way to the soft velvet of night.

I couldn't sleep, though. I tried...but I couldn't.

My eyes had adjusted to the partial dark, and I felt Edward watching me. My heart skipped, partly because he was pretty hot but also because he was a stranger...who was watching me. I would've been a little surprised if he was interested in me. I was no idiot; I knew that even at my best, I was a little on the plain side. When your best friends are blonde beach babes and quirky, perky brunettes, you learn pretty quick what life is like in second place.

Edward yanked his ear buds abruptly out of his ears.

Startled, I reflexively pulled mine out.

He angled his body toward me. "So."

"So." I tucked my hair behind my ear. Despite being a little lackluster from days of travel, it was one of my best features. I liked my hair, and I'd worn it long since childhood.

"Where ya going?"

"Washington." I said. "State."

"Yeah," he said, smiling slowly. "I mean...Washington DC is in the other direction."

My face warmed, and I laughed quietly. "Yeah."

"I'm going to Portland." His smile grew crooked. "Oregon."

"Oh." I nodded. "Do you live there? Or...here?"

"I live here, but I might move out there in a couple of months. Not sure yet. Friend of mine's been trying to get me out there for about a year now, so...I figured I'd go just to shut her up."

"Oh," I said again. I thought maybe the lack of proper sleep was making me stupid; I felt like I had cotton shoved in around my skull. Also, Edward was even more attractive when he talked. It could become a problem. "That's cool."

"I guess," he said shrugging. He gazed at me for awhile, long enough that I began to feel squirmy, and then sagged in his chair, almost like he was disappointed or something.

Probably in my crappy conversational skills.

"So this is your first time going out there?" I blurted.

He nodded. "Yeah. I'm looking forward to it, though. We have a couple of things planned...like driving out to the coast. I've never seen the ocean."

"What?" I asked, shocked. "Never?"

"Nope." He shook his head, and for a second, he looked a little embarrassed.

"Oh, wow. I...I grew up near the water. I mean, it was kind of cold and dreary where I grew up, but sometimes it was okay...my Dad loves to fish. Lakes, oceans, wherever. I used to go with him sometimes. When I was a kid." I bit my lip, shaking my head again. "And I just spent the past few months near West Palm Beach. I love the ocean."

"I can tell," he said softly.

"You'll love it, too," I said. "Especially during this time of year."

"Probably." He ran his fingers through his hair. "So...what's in Seattle? Is that where you grew up?"

"No, I grew up in this little town called Forks. It's...tiny. And like, in the woods. But anyway, my best friend is in Seattle. Well, one of them is. I just left one."

"One best friend?"

"Yeah."

"Lucky you," he said, with a hint of a laugh.

"What?" I laughed, too, but more because it was just something to fill up the air with. I couldn't tell if he was teasing me, or why.

"Two best friends."

"How many best friends do you have?"

"Hundreds." He smirked, extending his legs so that they crossed in to the aisle.

"Hundreds and best are like, opposites," I scoffed. "You can only have a couple."

"Actually you can only have one. 'Best' connotes number one; the winner."

Rolling my eyes playfully, I shook my head. "Luckily friendships aren't like that."

"Aren't they?"

"No."

"Luckily relationships _are_," he said. "Imagine having two boyfriends..."

"Or a hundred..." I said. "Well. Some people actually do that, I guess."

"Those aren't boyfriends or girlfriends. Those are hook ups."

"True," I say, unable to disagree.

"So you take that kind of stuff seriously," he says.

"Yeah. Don't you?"

"Yeah."

* * *

Aware of the insanely late hour, I stifled a giggle. Edward told the dirtiest jokes _ever_.

"That's gross," I whispered, shoving him.

"But funny," he said, grinning sideways.

Nodding, I eased back against my seat, realizing that, once again, we'd gotten close. I didn't mind being the proximity, really. Talking to him was nearly as natural as talking to Rose, or Alice. The stilted moments that had marked the beginning of our acquaintance had given way to an easy rapport, punctuated by lots of whispered silliness and snickering.

He leaned back, smug and satisfied by my amusement. He seemed to enjoy making me laugh. It was such a guy thing to do, and I found that I loved being the center of his attention, even if it was because he had no other choice when it came to companionship. Granted, he could've just shut me out, by way of headphones or sleep –that would've been another option –but he hadn't. And so here we were.

Our iPods sat silent for the moment, mine on his lap, his on mine. It didn't take long for us to start discussing music, seeing as it was obviously something we had in common. It was weird; we liked different bands and genres, but in this overlapping way, like sometimes I'd hear something on one of his playlists that so reminded me of something on mine.

He laughed when he saw that I'd created a special road trip list, and then pointed out his.

He gave me one of the Red Bulls from his backpack. I gave him a piece of Hubba Bubba.

We played twenty questions, the actual 20 questions, where we took turns guessing what the other was thinking.

"Is she blonde?"

"Yes."

"Has she always been blonde?"

"No."

"Is she a singer?"

"Yes."

"Is it Madonna?"

"No."

"Britney Spears?"

"...yes."

Edward made a face. "Britney Spears, Bella?"

"What? She had some really great hits..." I blew a bubble so huge it threatened to pop on the both of us.

"No. Just...no."

"Oh, okay...don't think I missed Taylor Swift," I whispered, gesturing to his iPod.

"What? You're crazy."

"I am not!" I grabbed up the device and quickly scrolled through until I saw the name I knew I'd seen before. "Aha! Taylor Swift; not one, but _two_ songs. Really, Edward? Really?"

"Lemme see that," he hissed, grabbing his iPod back. It was too dark to tell, but I'd have been willing to bet money he was red. "No way...I didn't put that there."

"Yeah, right," I chortled. "Someone just snuck it on there, huh."

"Yeah, actually."

"Who? Your little sister?" He'd told me he had one, an eleven year old named Charlotte. They called her Charlie for short, which I'd explained was my Dad's name, as well.

"No." He shook his head, pressing buttons and deleting. "My ex."

"Oh." Well. That was just a smidge awkward.

"Yeah...she loved Taylor Swift. Always dedicating me songs..."

"Like on the radio?" I asked, wondering if he was pulling my leg again.

"Yeah."

"You're lying," I teased.

"I'm not," he said, laughing.

"What was her name?"

"Katie."

"So...why's she an ex now?"

He shrugged, blowing a bubble. "A couple of things. I wanted to leave town, and she's always been jealous of Lauren –that's the friend I'm going to see –and then I started hearing rumors she and my boy Ben were hooking up and after all while it was just...more bad than good. Drama. Whatever."

I studied him, trying to discern whether this was disturbing him more than he was letting on, but it really didn't seem like it.

"What about you?" he asked after a long moment.

"What about me?" I asked. "You mean boyfriends or whatever?"

He nodded.

I shook my head. "There's no one." I thought about James, the blue eyed blond I'd hooked up with on and off over the summer. Everyone called him Jamie. He owned a surf stand.

Edward nodded. His phone buzzed quietly, and he looked down to it. I could see him smile in the dark, and then he texted back.

"So...do you smoke?" I asked.

"Weed?" He glanced up, surprised. "Hell yeah."

"I have two joints, but I haven't really felt comfortable..."

"I think we have a half hour stop coming up. We can..." He leaned closer, bringing wafts of bubble gum and boy. "I mean, if you want to, we can smoke it then."

I nodded, game. "Okay."

"Sweet," he said, squeezing my knee.

It was the first time he had touched me so intentionally, and I stiffened in surprise. But he didn't seem to notice, going back to whatever he'd been doing on his phone.

A second later he was all up in my personal space again.

"First time you smoked?"

"Sixteen, but I really hardly did it until this summer. You?"

"Fourteen, and I go through phases."

"How old are you?" I ask, realizing I'd overlooked the most basic.

"Just turned twenty two."

I nodded. "I'm twenty. I'll be twenty one in September, though."

The bus driver announced our next stop, which was the one Edward had been talking about: Escondido, California.

I felt around in my pocket making sure I had what we needed, and then leaned toward Edward. "Hey."

"What's up?"

"I kind of liked _Love Story_," I admitted. "I...thought it was sweet."

He smirked. "Every girl likes that song."

"Not every girl."

"Well. You like it, so. Moot point."

"Yeah."

Outside, early dawn burned a flame across the horizon. Our bus pulled in to its stop.

* * *

_**Love Story, as in, the Taylor Swift song. i know it's as sugary as cotton candy and skittles and as fluffy as the inside of twinkies, but i like it. the romantic girl in me gets all gushy and sappy. can't help it. i just give in to it.**_


	75. Lemonade

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**Story - Appease**_

_**Prompt: Lemonade**_

_**NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

We joined the queue getting off the bus, yawning and stretching along with everyone else. The good ol' Golden Arches beckoned to us from across the parking lot, and there was a gas station to our left, but other than that things were quiet.

My stomach grumbled. It had been awhile since I'd eaten, and I looked longingly at the serene glow of McDonalds.

"We can grab a bite to eat afterward," Edward said, his voice low. "You sure you wanna smoke?"

"Yeah...you?"

He nodded. "I just don't want you to be nervous."

"I am a little nervous," I conceded. "But I still want to."

"Then come on." His hand dropped to mine, and he led me toward a darkened area, near a random copse of trees by a dumpster. Bizarre, seeing as we were in the middle of a city.

Once we were as concealed as we were going to get, I grabbed my lighter and lit up, taking several pulls before handing the joint off to Edward. He closed his eyes as he smoked, smiling. "This is nice stuff," he said, exhaling.

I nodded. "Rose has good connections."

We didn't tarry, fully aware that the minutes were ticking by rapidly. As the joint burned down to a roach, Edward came a little closer. "Shotgun?"

I nodded, high on the yumminess of both the herb and Edward. And the fact he wanted to get that close. Giggling, I stepped closer, too, closing the distance.

"What?" he whispered, eyes glazed and mouth grinning.

"Nothing," I whispered back. Really, I thought that shotguns were just another method of flirting, but I didn't mind. Not at all.

He turned his attention to the jay and inhaled really deeply, then bent his face to mine. Now that we were standing side by side, as opposed to sitting, I could appreciate how tall he was. His hands came to rest on my shoulders while he blew the smoke. I grabbed his belt loops, steadying myself as I received. Our lips touched just barely.

Yeah, it was undeniable. There was definitely something brewing between us.

Trembling slightly, I fstened my hair in to a ponytail, mostly just to give myself something to do while Edward took care of the joint.

It seemed as though morning had come on quickly while we'd been hiding behind those trees, because as we emerged, everything seemed brighter, sunnier. And it was. We were also so stoned. My exhaustion-enhanced high had me floating, and this time I took Edward's hand. He maneuvered so that our fingers were interlocked, and my belly flipped and bubbled.

And grumbled.

"Damn, you're hungry," he remarked, pulling me toward McDonalds.

I was feeling too good to be embarrassed. And besides, Edward was rubbing his own stomach.

The bus driver was just coming out, soda in hand. He gave us a look. "Leaving in five."

"Okay," I said quickly, trying not to look too out of it.

Inside, McDonalds was a haven of delicious, greasy smells and supersaturated color. I wanted _everything_ but knew I could only afford something small. I had to make sure the last of my cash carried me to Seattle.

"What do you want?" Edward asked, inclining toward me. "I got you."

"No..."

"You just smoked me out, Bella," he whispered. "Chill out. Order."

I stumbled to the counter and got a bacon, egg and cheese biscuit, two hash browns, and a lemonade. Edward got what he wanted, and we practically ran back to the bus. Last ones on, too. I felt like everyone was watching us, like they knew we were high.

We left Escondido, stuffing our faces and chortling.

* * *

I texted both Rose and Alice while Edward was using the on-board bathroom.

Rose had already been told about Edward, and I updated her again, telling her about the smoking and the shotgun.

_Oh, yeah. He wants you._

_The shotgun, right?_

_Totally._

_I knew it!_

_Go Bella! Maybe you can get it on!_

_On the bus? Gross. But i'll keep you updated._

Alice was just super excited that I was so much closer.

_I know you'll be tired when you get in but I have plans for the next day. This guy I'm seeing knows a guy who..._

Her text went on for several, detailed messages, each one making me smile harder.

"What's so funny?" Edward asked, sinking back in to his seat.

"My girl Alice," I said, texting back.

"One of the besties?" he teased.

"Yup." I put my phone down and smiled. "She's excited I'm coming to live with her."

He nodded, tossing his iPod back and forth.

"Is...Lauren excited to see you?"

"Yeah. We kind of grew up together, so...it'll be cool."

I wondered if they were more than just friends. Or if Lauren wanted them to be. Shoot, maybe Edward wanted them to be. "What's she like?" I asked instead.

He pulled out his phone and scrolled to his pictures. "That's her."

Blonde and tan, huge smile, really nice body. Not as flawless as Rosalie, but very cute. "Oh wow." I bit my lip, handing back his phone. "She's pretty."

Shrugging, he slipped his phone back in to his backpack. "I prefer brunettes."

I tried to reign in the smile threatening to take over my face. "Oh yeah? What does she prefer?"

"Doesn't matter," he laughed, eyes crinkling as he watched me.

Oh man, he knew. He totally knew.

"Why not?"

"Because."

I plunked a piece of Hubba Bubba in to my mouth, offering him some. He took it, and we entertained each other for the next couple of minutes, blowing bubbles and popping them. I reached for my phone and snapped a picture of him before he could stop me.

"Oh, come on," he groaned. "That's not how I want you to remember me."

"Why not?" I giggled.

"Because. Not very manly."

I rolled my eyes, laughing, and nearly choked on my gum. That made _him_ crack up. He spat his gum in to an empty cup. "I can't chew this right now. It's taking over."

The laughter died down after a minute. Our eyes met, flickered away, met. My heart skipped a beat. "So how do you want me to remember you, then?"

We were leaning toward each other, the way we'd been since we'd first started talking, like we couldn't avoid it if we tried. Edward smiled a little, finally looking at my mouth.

I stopped chewing.

He leaned closer, and then paused, like he was waiting for me. I froze, and then pushed forward, meeting his mouth. We pressed our lips together.

"Bubble gum," he said, in this quiet, breathy way.

"I –"

He kissed me again, sweeping his tongue in to my mouth.

"Got it," he said, grinning. He blew a bubble.

"You could've just asked for it," I said. My heart raced. I wanted to kiss him again. I wanted to kiss him all the way to Seattle.

He leaned back in his seat, grinning playfully.

This was it. I just had to go for it.

"You're a tease," I said.

"It's not teasing if you follow through," he said, his gaze dropping to my mouth again. He took the gum out.

I leaned close and held his face, trying not to shake. His skin was really smooth and soft. He smelled like hash browns. I'd never be able to eat another one again without thinking of Edward.

When we kissed this time, it lasted. No pretenses or games, no cute, contrived scenarios. Just us.

And he felt amazing.

* * *

_**probably not the "lemonade" you were thinking of, haha :D**_

_**i love hearing from you guys, so thanks for sharing your stories! and just general comments. i heart you. sorry i can't reply these days; it's hard w/daily updates but if you find me on twitter - roglows - i love to chat there! **_

_**xoxo**_

_***Oh hi, Anonymous. You're right: "deboarded" isn't a "real word". But it is travel vernacular; I hear it all the time on planes and I heard it a lot from bus drivers. Now if you ever see me use the non-word "irregardless", you have my full permission to freak out.**_


	76. Affair

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**Story - Venture**_

_**Prompt -affair**_

_**NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

I was more awake than I'd ever been, riding high on fumes and the leftovers of our early morning smoke out.

And, of course, Edward Cullen.

The day was brighter, the bus more cheerful. My heart expanded until it flew, an untethered balloon buoyed by the breeze. The dimple in Edward's left cheek. The mole on his right hand. His fingers, playing with mine. His mouth.

His mouth. His mouth.

I loved kissing him. There was such a difference between kissing someone because of inebriation or the need to get physical, and kissing because it's the manifestation of the magic between you and him.

Edward paused, letting himself float just far enough away that we could focus on each other. We'd been at it for awhile, allowing ourselves to meander in and out of making out. He made me want so much more, and yet, it was so innocent. So fantastic just the way it was.

Like if I never got to see him again, the memory of these kisses and this journey would stay forever in my brain, dreamy snapshots of what it was to really live and fall for someone.

Because I'd never fallen this hard. Ever.

And never so fast.

It was just my luck that the one guy I felt this nearly supernatural connection to was slated to be little more than an in-transit love affair, ephemeral and sweet.

"What's up?" he asked quietly, smoothing the area between my brows with his thumb.

"Thinking about...after," I said, swallowing. I stayed close though, not wanting any distance of I could help it.

"What about it?" he whispered, his eyes on his fingers, his fingers on my cheeks.

"Will I...see you? Again?"

"Yeah."

"How?"

"I'll figure something out," he said, sighing. He sat back in his seat, popping our bubble.

I bit my lip and stared at my lap, sorry I'd said anything at all. This was my way though; I tended to over-think.

But Edward's hand found mine again and before I could tumble down in to any dark places he drew me close, tickling the beginnings of his beard against my cheek. He'd already told me that if he didn't shave daily he grew wild, fast, and I could see what he meant. I liked it, though. I thought I'd probably like everything about him, maybe even the not so perfect bits.

I glanced up at him, and he was staring down at me, the playfulness and fondness replaced by something darker, deeper. I lifted my face to him, letting him kiss me.

* * *

Fields. Asphalt. Heat shimmering over dusty gas stations. Grass. Blue, blue skies, and not a cloud to be seen. We sneaked pictures of each other doing stupid things, like scratching lotto tickets or tying shoelaces. We bought postcards from the tiny towns we visited, writing down our observations on the back.

_Crazy kid behind the counter. One fry short of a Happy Meal._

Our bus pulled in to Oakland around three p.m. Edward said we could have driven in way less time, but that was obviously not an option for either of us at the moment and besides...driving would have eliminated our chance at meeting.

Something had happened during the nine or so hours it had taken to come north. It was surreal, how attached and connected we'd become, like we'd been through something together and were now a unit. This bus terminal was overwhelming. Sprawled out, crowded, busy. Edward stayed at my side, holding one of my bags like his own and reminding me to keep my ears and eyes open.

"Crazy stuff happens in broad daylight," he said.

We had a three hour layover. I wasn't sure why, but apparently it had something to do with an unexpected bus driver change and switching buses. My heart seized; I hadn't expected that. I thought for sure Edward and I would have had until Portland, where he would have gotten off and I would've continued on to Seattle.

"It might not mean anything," Edward said, leading me over to a bench. Sitting, we fished our tickets from our pockets and scrutinized them.

"I leave at six," Edward said, peering over my shoulder.

"I leave at...five thirty." I bit my lip, forcing myself not to cry. For God's sake. I'd known him for about a day, but I was over-tired and emotional and it had become this epic thing in my mind. And my heart. I didn't even have the energy to be disgusted with myself.

But Edward just rested his arm around the back of the bench, cuddling me closer.

"I'll come see you, Bella. After I've hung out with Lauren a little, and we've caught up or whatever, I'll come visit. Okay? It'll only be a week or two from now."

I gazed up at him. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I want to see you." He shook his head. "This is crazy."

"Insane."

He laughed, scrubbing his hand over his face. "This kind of stuff just doesn't happen."

I stood up, adjusted my backpack. "So let's do something, then. We have two hours."

We found a diner a couple of blocks away and settled in to a booth. It felt so good to eat an actual, hot meal...siting down...not rushing. Again, Edward insisted on treating me, saying he didn't know when next he'd get the chance.

"I love breakfast food," I mumbled, closing my eyes. I'd covered my plate in syrup.

"Who doesn't?" He hummed, polishing his meal off while I was still working my way through mine.

"Don't think I haven't noticed you stealing my fruit," I said, smirking.

He grinned, popping another strawberry in to his mouth. "You're taking too long."

"I'm savoring."

His face softened, the cocky amusement melting away. He nodded and stood, only to sit down on my side of the booth. "You got your phone?"

I wiped my hands and retrieved my phone from my bag. Edward took it and held it up, leaning close to me. "Ready?"

I smoothed my hair back and nodded. "Mhm."

We took a couple of pictures with my phone, and then a couple with his. He even had this app with a photo booth effect, and he promised he'd message me the pictures later on.

But time passed way too quickly, and we were back inside the bus station before I knew it. We walked to my gate slowly, our hands swinging between us like we were carefree when really my heart was weighed down.

This whole scenario had been so unexpected. Falling for someone during this journey was the last thing I'd expected, but now that it had happened I couldn't envision going back to my life as if it hadn't happened.

I got in to the line, lingering toward the back. Edward turned me around and kissed me, his arms tight around me. We'd already programmed our numbers in to each other's phones, and added each other on Facebook, so really...all we could do now was wait.

And see.

And hope.

"Bye, Bella," he whispered, giving me one last squeeze before letting me go.

"Bye, Edward." My voice trembled even though I was whispering, and I quickly looked down, mortified that there were actual tears in my eyes.

But he lifted my chin anyway. "Don't forget about me."

"Like I could," I scoffed, shoving him. "I should be saying the same thing to you."

He shook his head. "I'm a sure thing."

My bus was full, and now I was the one searching for a place to sit. An older woman, a redhead with kind eyes, patted the seat beside her, and I dropped in to it, thanking her.

"No problem, honey; I know you're going through it."

I looked up at her, vaguely surprised until she jerked her head toward the window, where a forlorn looking Edward still stood, his eyes scanning windows of the bus. Anxiously. For me.

Sniffling, I leaned delicately across the lady's lap and tapped the window, waving to get his attention. He grinned when he saw me, waving back. And then we left.

"How long you kids been together?" my seatmate asked conversationally.

I took a deep breath. "It feels like it's been forever."

* * *

Alice was out of her mind with excitement by the time I crept off of the Greyhound later that night.

If I never saw another bus in my life, it would be too soon. While the experience hadn't been as traumatic as I'd feared, it had left me sleep deprived, stiff, and in desperate need of a shower.

"Hey, babe!" she cried, embracing me.

"Hi, Alice," I said, closing my eyes as we hugged. It felt so good to be with her. And I hadn't been expecting it, but actually being back in Washington was a relief, too. I felt like I was closer to my roots, but not too close. "I missed you."

"Aw man, me too," she said, and it sounded suspiciously like she was tearing up.

"I..." I trailed off, looking at the tall guy to her left. "Um, hi?"

"Oh, sorry – this is Riley. He kinda freaked when I told him I was coming down here so late..."

* * *

"Ugh, I'm so sorry," I said, grimacing. "I wish I'd come in earlier...The Oakland layover is what held us back."

"Now worries," Riley said, smiling serenely. "I just figured I'd come for the ride, keep Alice company."

"Nice." I smiled, picking up my bag. "Well, shall we?"

Turned out Riley had driven. He and Alice bantered back and forth, silly and playful friends, while I listened from the backseat. Now that I was safe and sound and at my destination, I could feel my body sagging, my eyes struggling to stay open.

"I bet you're starving," Alice said.

"Starving, sleepy, dirty..."

"What're you in the mood for?"

"Anything but McDonalds."

* * *

Alice knocked on the bathroom door.

"Come in," I called, yawning underneath the shower's sprays.

"You okay in here?" she giggled, peeking around the shower curtain. "This is like, the longest shower ever."

"I know. I don't want to get out but I might fall asleep in here," I joked, finally shutting the water off.

"Aw, Bella. You poor thing. You're so fricking brave. I could never go cross county on a bus," she said, handing me a towel.

"You do what you have to do," I said, shrugging. "And, you know...it wasn't so bad."

"Oh, I know," she said coyly, stepping back as I climbed out. "You had _Edward_ to keep you company, didn't you?"

My heart skipped. I'd texted him the second I'd gotten in to Riley's car earlier, and he'd texted right back, letting me know he was so glad I was safe.

"Yeah," I said softly, toweling my hair.

"Oh my gosh," Alice said, coming closer. "You really fell for him, huh?"

I snorted, nodding. "Stupid, right?"

"No way. Super romantic."

I rolled my eyes, but I had to agree with her. "Yeah...it was, kinda."

"I hope I get to meet him."

We walked to my new room, empty except for a futon and the two bags I'd brought.

"Me too," I said, yawning.

"I know you're tired. We'll grab breakfast in the morning... there's this place I want to show you."

I hugged her tightly, thankful for her friendship and the chance at a fresh start.

And as I fell asleep, I let myself drift in the goodness that my life had brought me, instead of the heaviness of Edward's absence.

* * *

It was easy to fall in to a way of being in Seattle.

My parents both sent me small amounts of money to help me along until my paychecks started coming in, and that enabled me to help with groceries, get a second hand bike and a good pair of sneakers to wait tables in. Alice worked nights and weekends at this really trendy spot right near U-Dub, and she was able to get me a spot, too. It was my first time serving, but I found that I was actually good at it.

Alice also went to school full-time at UW. It would be a while before I had that option, for a number of reasons, so instead I focused on working as many shifts as possible and saving my money. I knew that if I kept my nose clean and worked hard, I'd be able to start the following fall, just one year behind.

The messages and phone calls between Edward and I started off so strong, but by the end of the second week I was beginning to doubt that his feelings were as strong for me as mine were for him. We were just both so busy, and so wrapped up in life.

It didn't help that Lauren liked him. I knew she did; call it a hunch, but when I called one night and she picked up, rather coolly informing me that he was "busy", it was confirmed.

But I was at a good place in my life, and I wasn't about to let something like that derail me. What did we have, anyway? Memories of sexy, sweet kisses and a bevy of amazing road-trip stories.

And a load of pictures.

Ugh, the pictures. Maybe if I didn't have so many it would have been easy to convince myself that Edward Cullen was just a figment of my imagination. Every night I lay in bed, smiling as I scrolled through them, remembering each moment with bittersweet clarity. They gave me the most sublime ache.

And then, one morning, he called me.

"Hey," I answered, excited to see his name on my screen.

"Hi." I could hear him smiling. "What're you up to?"

"Getting ready for work...why, what's up?"

"Well...I wanted to come up. See you."

"Yes!" I cried, not even bothering to sound calm and cool about it. "When?"

"Friday?"

"That's tomorrow," I said, my eyes falling on the calendar stuck to the wall. "You'll really come?"

"I really will."

The knowledge that Edward would be there in as little as a day kept me blissed out for the entire day. Alice was excited for me, offering to grab a few extra groceries on her way home later on. I went to bed that night early, like a kid on Christmas Eve, willing the morning to hurry.

Early the next day, I stood at the bus station, waiting impatiently for Edward. It felt strange to be on the other side of things, the welcomer instead of the traveler.

He was one of the first ones off, and by the way he snatched me up and hugged me you'd swear we hadn't seen each other in years.

"I'm so glad you're here," I said, kissing him.

He eased me back on to my feet and kissed me back. "Me too."

* * *

_**my dear Ruibin Rua suggested the song but especially the ~video for Lady Antebellum's "Just a Kiss". if you have time, go youtube it. it's incredibly sweet, and so, so fitting.**_

_**one more chapter tomorrow to wrap this up.**_

_**xoxo**_


	77. End is the Beginning

_**All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.**_

_**Story - Venture**_

_**No Prompt **_

_**NOT BETA'D**_

* * *

He'd already changed a little.

Or maybe this was what he was really like, when he wasn't in travel mode. The hoodie and jeans he'd worn during our time together had been replaced by cargo shorts and a t shirt. His hair was slightly darker.

"Because I'm not in the sun quite as much," he explained when I commented on it, touching it. "Back in Phoenix I work outside, with my Dad."

"Are you going back?" I asked, flagging down a cab idling on the curb.

He shrugged. "Don't know yet. Maybe. Agh, it's just...there are a lot of things pulling at me right now, you know?"

Biting my lip, I nodded. I supposed now I was one of those things. Pulling. Needing.

"I mean, I know what I _want_ to do, but...I just have to figure out what's best."

We got in to the cab, and I gave the driver my address.

"What do you want to do?" I asked, turning to Edward as we started moving.

"Be here with you."

I rolled my eyes, but I was totally blushing, too. "Come on."

"I'm serious," he chuckled. "I really want to be here. With you. I have an uncle and aunt who live over on Mercer Island..."

"Really? So you have family here," I mused, sitting back. "You didn't tell me that."

"Didn't think about it, I guess."

"Well, that's cool."

"Yeah...I'll probably go visit them at some point, too. My Aunt Esme was pretty excited when she found out I'd be in the Northwest."

"How long will you be here?" I asked, my stomach already tensing with the thought of him eventually leaving again.

"I don't know yet," he said, his eyes intense in the morning sun. "I've never been this directionless. It's kinda weird."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"My whole life has always been planned out. Not knowing my next move is a little disconcerting."

I nodded, knowing how he felt. During our bus trip, he'd told me all about how he'd taken college courses during high school, and then summer courses during college so that he could finish early. He'd initially wanted to go in to architecture, like his father, but then wander-lust had kicked in. The urge to not be so serious all the time kicked in. He'd partied all summer, and when Lauren had given him a way out of Phoenix, he'd been unable to resist accepting it.

I wondered what, if anything, had changed since our conversation two weeks ago.

"Well, do you still want to go in to business with your father?"

"Don't know. He's kind of being a dick about it. You know. My older brother is the successful one, and he expects nothing less from me."

"And he shouldn't," I said. "But your success needs to be on your terms."

"He'll get over it. I think he's just...a little disappointed. He always envisioned us doing this together, and I was always so interested in it as a kid. But he's cool. Supportive. You know?"

I nodded. My father, Charlie, was the same way. He'd always been behind what I wanted to do, even when that meant flying to Florida to spend the summer with Rose and then busing back to live with Alice. My mother was a little more nervous for me, which was funny because normally she tended to be the flightier of the two, but she'd been pretty cool too.

We quieted as the cab pulled over, pausing in front of Alice's building. She had off campus housing this year, but we were still pretty near school. I paid our fare before Edward could get any ideas and slid out.

"So this is it, huh?" he asked, gazing up at the trees. I looked up, too, seeing what he saw. The apartment building we lived in wasn't fancy, but it was really nice and cozy. Alice worked as much as she could to supplement her income, but her parents had always done well for themselves back home. Finances had never been an issue for them, and the apartment Alice lived in reflected that.

"Yup. The home base." I smiled, took his hand, and led him inside.

"Living room...kitchen's over there...our bathroom...that door's Alice's room...and this...is me." I stood aside so he could walk in. My room was a lot healthier looking now that I'd settled in. My bed was made and decked out with pillows and throws, and I'd hung curtains in the windows. My books, which Renee had sent, lined my shelf, courtesy of last week's garage sale.

Pictures freckled the room; framed, on a bulletin board, beside my bed. Edward walked over to my nightstand (curbside refuse turned treasure) and picked up a small strip of photos I had there.

He smiled, running his finger down it.

"I was surprised you remembered to send them," I said, blushing at how transparent I was. Not only did I wear my feelings on the outside, but there were other hints of our relationship...or whatever it was...as well. Like the postcards I'd tacked to my bulletin board, right next to the bus ticket stub.

"I didn't want you to think I'd forgotten," he said. "Can I...?" He dropped his bag and nodded toward the bed.

"Yeah, of course." I toed my shoes off and joined him, sitting just across the bed.

"So. What's happened since we last saw each other?" I asked, curious about Portland. I knew a couple of things form our texts and the couple of calls we'd shared, but it was surface stuff, like parties they'd gone to, or the weather.

He sighed, dropping his head to his hands. "I don't know, man."

"What's up?"

"Lauren."

My heart sank, but I had a feeling I knew what was going on. "Not what you expected?"

"You could say that." He frowned, picking at his shorts. "I...we've always been tight. You know? I mean, her sister used to go out with my brother, but _I_ never saw _her_ like that, and I...never led her on or anything."

"So...she wants more than friendship, I take it."

He nodded. "My second night there we went to this club downtown and she got a little drunk. Tried to kiss me."

I swallowed and looked down, my cheeks flaming.

"I didn't let her, Bella. Anyway, it's been pretty awkward ever since and then when I mentioned I might be starting something with this girl down in Seattle, she kind of just shut down. We didn't even go to the beach like we were supposed to." He poked my leg, and I looked up at him. It was obvious that he felt kind of sheepish about the whole thing. "We talked things out. I mean, we're friends, you know? But I don't think staying with her is gonna work. Not if she has feelings."

"What are you going to do?"

He shrugged. "It would be easy enough to get a place of my own down there...or I might go home. I don't know. I'm telling you, I feel like a ship without a rudder."

"You'll figure it out. We'll figure it out...together," I said, moving closer. Every part of me itched to touch him, to be close again. Our days apart had created a buffer, but I knew that once we kissed, it would be like before. "In the meantime, let's just...chill. I don't want you to be stressed out."

"I don't want me to be stressed out, either," he said, his eyes raking down my body as he yanked me closer.

I rose to my knees and pushed him back so that he was propped against my pillows, and then eased on to him. He needed no instruction; he wrapped his arms around my hips and waist and brought me in, squeezing tightly.

"Crazy how much I missed you," he mumbled. "I was beginning to wonder if I'd made some of it up but then I saw you and I knew..."

I curved down, sliding my fingers in to his hair and kissing him. "Me too."

We kissed until I heard a key in the lock out front. "That's Alice," I whispered, resting my chin on his head. "She really wants to meet you."

"Yeah?" He had this slightly dazed look on his face, his hair all messy from making out.

"Mhm." I bit my lip, wiping a smudge of tinted lip gloss from his cheek.

We stared at each other, smiling a little goofily, until finally he cleared his throat.

"Cool." He nudged me off of his lap and readjusted himself, smirking. "This'll be fun."

"Shh," I laughed, hauling him up. "Just try not to think about it..."

"Thanks for the boner advice, Bella," he snorted.

Alice was in the kitchen, looking through the mail. She peeked up as we approached, but her casual act didn't fool me. I knew she was just dying to say something.

"Hey, Ali, this is Edward. Edward, meet Alice. We've been friends since...since forever."

"I'm so happy you could make it down," she said right away, smiling this really sparkly smile.

"Nice to meet you, too," Edward chuckled, nodding. "Thanks for letting me stay."

"Oh, pfft." Alice waved him off. "Stay as long as you want; whatever. It's cool. Hey, you guys hungry? I'm famished."

"I am," I said.

"We can probably pick up some stuff from work, Bella. You know Nahuel and Maggie will hook it up like always."

"Sure." I nodded, glancing at Edward. "We can get a load of stuff from the place where we work. Soups, sandwiches, stuff like that. That cool with you?"

"Definitely." He let go of my hand. "I haven't eaten all day. Let me go grab my phone."

We spent the rest of the day with Alice, eating at our restaurant and then taking him on a driving tour of downtown Seattle. She had a car, so it made our sightseeing that much easier. The cool thing was, too, that Edward and Alice got along quite well. He was easy going and wry, making little jokes constantly, and she was just enthused with life. I had yet to meet someone who _didn't_ like Alice. Still, it felt really good to see how quickly they connected. It just confirmed even more that Edward made sense in my life.

By the time night fell, Edward was looking a little tired. I was a little worn out myself, and I had a feeling I was scheduled to work the next day, so we headed back to the apartment.

"I don't know when I'll be back, Bella," Alice said, swinging her keys around her finger. She was meeting up with Jasper.

"No problem. We're just gonna chill here, watch movies. Hang."

"Have fun." She kissed my cheek. "Be safe."

I rolled my eyes and blushed, locking the door behind her.

Back in my room, Edward was going through his backpack. "You mind if I shower?"

"Course not. Shower away," I said, tossing him a towel and the new bar of soap from under the sink.

He disappeared in to the bathroom and I went back to the kitchen to check my work schedule for the next couple of days. Sure enough, I had to work the next day –opening shift – but then I had the night and day after that off. I wasn't sure how long Edward planned on staying in town, but I hoped, selfishly, that it would be for awhile.

I still wasn't sure how we were going to navigate this thing. It wasn't just long distance, it was Edward not being sure if he was going to be in Portland or Phoenix. I just had to trust that whatever had brought us together would allow us a chance at a real relationship, any way we could work it.

There was a brownie mx in the cupboard, and I was craving something gooey and sweet, so I made it. Edward walked in as I slid the brownie pan in to the oven.

"Whatcha makin'?"

"Brownies." I smiled over my shoulder as I washed my hands. "I was in the mood."

"Mm." He leaned against the counter, looking all cute with his wet hair and flannel pants and bare feet. "I could eat brownies."

"Well, good, seeing as I'm making them for me and you."

"More for you, don't lie."

"Maybe."

He laughed, eyes alight with happiness. "How long til they're ready?"

"About forty minutes. I think." I consulted the box and adjusted the timer accordingly.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" I asked, drifting over to him.

"Sure. What do you have?"

* * *

We weren't doing a very good job of watching the movie.

It was hard to resist a cute boy who smelled and tasted of chocolate, especially when he kept on kissing my neck and my ears, distracting me with shivers and touches.

Eventually I gave up, rolling over to face him, pulling him on top of me, not even bothering to pretend I didn't want him. He kissed me hard, and it was so much different doing this in my bed, in soft clothes, with the cover of night and the warm glow of lamplight. I reached behind and shut the TV off with my remote, tossing it aside with a clatter.

"Why're you wearing two pairs of underwear?" he asked, hiking my leg up around his waist.

"I'm not," I giggled. "These ones are sleep shorts."

"Maybe that's what they told you, but these are underwear."

"They're sleep shorts!"

"They're...tiny."

"So."

"You might as well have just worn your underwear."

"Shut up..." I kissed his smirkiness away, even as he started pulling my shorts down.

"Better, isn't it?" he asked, grinding against me slowly.

I nodded, slowly, feeling the silliness and lightheartedness of the moment drain away, leaving a heady sense of need behind. My breath caught, and then Edward kissed me again, a hand running up and down my bare leg.

His shirt was next.

And then, no more words as we kissed each other naked.

He trailed kisses up my neck, touching me, sweeping my hair aside. Goosebumps when he pushed his way inside the first time.

I knew, _I knew _then that meeting Edward had been one of the turning points of my life.

* * *

In the morning, Edward followed me in to the kitchen while I made coffee.

I was a little sleepy because we'd been up so late, but his love lit me up, giving me energy.

"Frosted flakes?" I asked.

He nodded, and I grabbed two bowls, two spoons.

He poured while I made us coffee.

"So, I think I'm gonna visit my aunt and uncle today," he said. "While you work."

"You should," I said. "That's a great idea."

"I'll call 'em in a bit."

We mellowed in to an early morning meal, our quiet comfortable with under the table footsie and random commentary. I felt golden when I left him, like the day had the potential to be magical. Things had started shifting when Edward and I had met, but they'd fully turned the corner last night. And even though I knew he'd have to go at some point, I couldn't hold down the happiness if I tried.

Morning shifts tended to fly by for me, which was why I preferred them. Getting up was the hardest part, but actually making it through the day was easy after that. And because it was a Saturday, I made fantastic tips. I grabbed a couple of sandwiches and headed back to the apartment, wondering when Edward would be back.

He called about an hour later, explaining that his aunt and uncle wanted him to stay for an early dinner. I was bummed, but he promised me that he'd be back afterward, that his Uncle Carlisle would drive him. I texted him my address so that they'd be able to get back without any problems, and then cleaned up my room a little. It was a mess from our "movie night".

I was halfway through my second load of laundry when there was a knock at the door. I checked the peephole before opening up. Edward grinned, hugging me in the doorway.

"Hi," I whispered, alarmed at my level of attachment. I breathed through it though, allowing it to be what it was. If Edward was reciprocating, how could it be wrong?

"Hi," he echoed, just holding me.

"You okay?" I kissed his neck and held him tighter.

"So okay." He walked me back in to the apartment. "We talked...a lot."

"Yeah?" My heart skipped. There was anticipation coming from him, and nervousness deep inside me. I wanted to know what was making him smile like that, this tiny smile, knowing. "What did they say? How are they?"

"They're great. My Uncle Carlisle...he...he's made me an offer."

"What kind of an offer?"

"A job offer. If I become, kind of like an apprentice. He works in carpentry, custom stuff."

"Very cool," I said, slightly out of breath with anxiety, afraid to hope. "What did you say?"

"I said okay." He pushed his hands through his hair, looking a little breathless himself.

The silence stretched between us as I considered the implications of what he'd just said. My hands shook slightly.

"I have to go home to...tie up loose ends. Send some stuff out," Edward said, pacing. He stopped suddenly, pinning me with his gaze. "But then I'm coming back, and I'm staying."

"You're staying," I repeated, feeling the words bubble up through me. "I...I'm so glad," I said, closing my eyes, trying not to cry. My relief was profound, overwhelming; I couldn't speak. What had he done to me?

I felt his arms wrap around me, and I wrapped mine around him.

"We get to do this," I said. "we get to...be."

"Yeah. We do."

"I don't have to work tomorrow," I said, pressing my cheek against his chest. "And I managed to switch shifts with someone so I have the day after that free, too. There's something I want to do with you."

He looked down, eyes searching.

"I want to take you to the beach," I said, touching his cheek. "It's a hefty drive, but Alice said I could use her car."

He smiled slowly, nodding. "I'd like that."

* * *

**~end**

* * *

_**thanks, guys, for coming with me on another wit fit journey! i've had so much fun - as always - and your comments have truly made my day. days. you know what i mean. ;) so, no more wit fits for a few months... i'm:**_

_**-finishing Glimmer Darkly (for real FOR REAL. 2 chapters left, about)**_

_**- participating in the Fandom4LLS**_

_**-participating in NaNo's summer camp writing thingie. **_

_**other than that, I'll see you over on twitter (roglows) or FB (rochelle allison). love you!**_

_**xoxo**_


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